Girl on the street (looking at cars go by): Have you ever noticed how old people are like drunk people driving?

Fairfax, California

Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.

The Mall
Victoria
Canadia

Girl #1: She finally cleaned up the dog crap!
Girl #2: What? Her dog crapped in the house?
Girl #1: No, but it was all over the front yard. Can you imagine me trying to walk through that drunk?
Guy: I'm pretty sure that what happens when you're drunk is your responsibility. Getting trashed doesn't make stepping in dog shit someone else's fault.
Girl #1: Don't hate! Oh my god!

Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania

Random guy: Dudes! I just wasted 30,000 feet of caution tape!

Sheetz
Pennsylvania

Woman deli worker to male worker: Three dollar juice? Shit, what are you, a millionaire?

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

College guy: He's going to be the kind of teacher who punches his kids' sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly? I don't think so! Peanut butter and smush!

ECU Dining Hall
Greenville, North Carolina

Mother to four-year-old in doctor's waiting room: Come on, Sam*, we're next.
Sam: Are we seeing the doctor?
Mother: Yup.
Sam: (pause) Well, okay. As long as he doesn't look at my penis.

Hurstbridge Medical Center
Hurstbridge
Australia

(five ditzy girls are looking at a big poster of the periodic table of the elements, and laughing)
Boy, walking up: What's so funny?
Girl: Haha! One of the squares says “Bi”! Hahaha… like “bisexual!”

UT Austin
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Bismuth.

Skinny girl to prettier friend: You can't toss him a mercy fuck every time his father dies.

Arby's
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Gwen West

Guy #1: Man, it's all cloudy down there.
Guy #2: Yeah…
Guy #1: You know, that's the problem with America… we have a lot of clouds.

Newark Airport, New Jersey

Overheard by: Romulo Escamilla