Pilot: And if you have any comments or questions, go ahead and look me up on Facebook.

Vancouver
Canadia

Prudish-looking woman #1: It’s a bra conspiracy.
Prudish-looking woman #2: I agree.

Coles Supermarket
Melbourne
Australia

Suit to other: Then he kept trying to sell me this little boy for a dollar…

Taco Bell
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Brandon

Guy on cell: I told you… the orange ones are hermaphroditic and the purple ones are sterile.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: piruqsiviliriji

Gay friend: I wish him the best in all his endeavors, and whatever his life is like now… But I hope he gets shot when he comes out here to Mardi Gras.

San Diego, California

Guy: Do you spit or swallow?
Preppy girl: I don’t know. I just chew.

Florida

You Mean Conductors Are Like This Everywhere?

Train conductor: Thank you for traveling on this 3:30 service to Southern Cross. If you need to use the toilet, they are located at the end of each carriage for your convenience. Please remember to both close and lock the door, which will save you from embarrassment and other passengers from blindness.

Train Service to Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Meg

Little boy waiting in line with his mom: Mommy, have you ever been ripped apart?

Lane Bryant
St Cloud, Minnesota

Overheard by: Jesi

Guy #1: You’re beautiful… you’re beautiful.
Guy #2: No… but I’m not fuckable beautiful!

University of California, San Diego

Overheard by: whoa mango

(two girls exit bathroom stall together)
Girl #1: It was such a pleasure watching you. It was bliss.

Elbo Room Bar
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: crafty biotech