Freakishly tall chick: Could you imagine a primordial dwarf in my family? The kid would kill me as soon as they could wield a weapon of some kind, because I'd laugh at them so much.
Friend: Or he'd turn the hatred outwards, and be a serial killer. Oh man, could you imagine, a primordial dwarf serial killer?
Freakishly tall chick: That would be awesome.
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
(guy grabs girl's hand and licks cotton candy off her finger and licks finger)
Girl: Be careful, you don't where these fingers have been.
Guy: Well, I know last night they were in your vagina.
Girl: Shhh! People can hear you!
Guy: No one's even listening to us!
San Diego, California
- Posted on
- Advice, California, Default, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, Masturbation, Sexuality, Vagina
Girl #1: He's kind of ugly.
Girl #2: He kind of reminds me of a marionette because his cheeks are shiny and puffed up all the time.
Black Market Vintage Clothing
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: kj
- Posted on
- Body parts, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Stores
(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know “saxophone” sounds a lot like “sexy-phone”!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it “the sex”!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, “Hey, do you know how to play the sex?”
Boy #1: Heh-heh… Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew… That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah…but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh…
School Bus
Maryland
Overheard by: Sam
Drunk girl: I hear Michael Caine peeing!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
- Posted on
- About celebrities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Illinois, Pee, Sensory experiences, Weirdness
Dude #1: So yeah, Kayla* got me kicked off the ski trip because I gave her ten bucks to buy some food. And she bought scissors. Fucking scissors. And apparently I'm not stable enough to have scissors and they think I'll fucking stab someone with them. And she gave me back $2.48 in change. The scissors were from the fucking dollar store. They couldn't have been that expensive. Next time she sits on my lap in math class I'm gonna call her a pick-pocket.
Dude #2: Okay, great story. Now shut the fuck up. I missed half the fucking dialogue of Cloverfield.
West Edmonton Mall
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Trying to watch Cloverfield
Emo high school girl to friend: He's kind of like the replacement parent for kids with delinquent parents…only he has sex with you and 10 of your friends.
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: CK
- Posted on
- Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Massachusetts, Sex
