Slutty chick: STDs!
Sluttier chick: I don't need one.
Slutty chick: STDs!
Sluttier chick: I'm on my period, yo!

University of Connecticut

Overheard by: Unwilling Audience

Guy on phone: Does she move when you have sex with her? Maybe that's the problem.

University Park, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Bill

Professor: We think imperfectly. If you think you think perfectly… well, just talk to god.

University of Tulsa, Oklahoma

Girl: Oh, and guess what else happened?
Boyfriend: What?
Girl: I got my period again! What the hell?!

Eaton Centre, Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Professor: I make no sense to myself, I’m surprised I know my own name. Why? Because life sucks. But I have a nice jacket!

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Mom standing outside of bathroom stall: Honey, hurry up, there is a line waiting.
Four-year-old girl: I can’t, my body requires me to go slow.

Capitol Building Bathroom
Washington, DC

Waitress: What kind of dressing would you like on your salad? We have French, Thousand Island and Italian.
Gorgeous blond: I’ll have Ranch.
Waitress: No.

Glenwood Springs, Colorado

Spacey English major: So… he’s a queer writer, right?
Surprised teaching assistant: No. He’s just Jewish American.
Spacey English major: Oh, same thing.

University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Jessica

Guy: Leggings are fucking up everything. I used to know when it was winter because girls would stop wearing skirts, but now thanks to leggings they can wear them all year. It’s bullshit.

Connecticut College

Angry traveler: The flight’s canceled because of weather?!? Can’t you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma’am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.

O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: He’s not so Godlike