Have I Got a Girl for You
Male student: I just… can't control my erections.
Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
- Posted on
- Colleges & Universities, Default, Erections, Gripes, Guys, Students, Washington
Slightly crazy lady to older man sitting nearby: Hey! You look like my uncle Smitty! Are you kin to me?
Old man, startled: Um, no, I don't think so.
Lady: Well, you never know. I did that genealogy thing and it turns out that I am kin to Pocahontas, Thomas Jefferson and half the men that died at The Alamo.
Dan's Hamburgers
Austin, Texas
- Posted on
- Compare and contrast, Crazies, Default, Family ties, Old folks, Pop culture, Questions, Restaurants, Texas, Women
Policeman opening doors of Social Security office: Before I let you in, does anyone have any weapons?
Tiny old lady jumping the queue: Just my fist!
Wilkesboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Girl on the street (looking at cars go by): Have you ever noticed how old people are like drunk people driving?
Fairfax, California
- Posted on
- Age and ageing, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Questions
Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.
The Mall
Victoria
Canadia
Girl #1: She finally cleaned up the dog crap!
Girl #2: What? Her dog crapped in the house?
Girl #1: No, but it was all over the front yard. Can you imagine me trying to walk through that drunk?
Guy: I'm pretty sure that what happens when you're drunk is your responsibility. Getting trashed doesn't make stepping in dog shit someone else's fault.
Girl #1: Don't hate! Oh my god!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
- Posted on
- Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Pennsylvania, Poop
Random guy: Dudes! I just wasted 30,000 feet of caution tape!
Sheetz
Pennsylvania
- Posted on
- Default, Guys, Pennsylvania, Stupidity, Weirdness
Woman deli worker to male worker: Three dollar juice? Shit, what are you, a millionaire?
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
- Posted on
- Default, Drinking & drunks, Eavesdrop DC, Money, Questions, Women
College guy: He's going to be the kind of teacher who punches his kids' sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly? I don't think so! Peanut butter and smush!
ECU Dining Hall
Greenville, North Carolina
- Posted on
- Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Guys, North Carolina, Violence
Mother to four-year-old in doctor's waiting room: Come on, Sam*, we're next.
Sam: Are we seeing the doctor?
Mother: Yup.
Sam: (pause) Well, okay. As long as he doesn't look at my penis.
Hurstbridge Medical Center
Hurstbridge
Australia
- Posted on
- Australia, Default, Doctor's office, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Names, Penis
