Redneck: I'm not racist or anything, I mean, this guy was a pretty nice nigger. He didn't even try to steal my money.
Adrian, Michigan
(kids looking at strawberry flavored condoms)
Kid #1: Strawberries!
Kid #2: No, they're strawberry balloons.
Kid #3 (shocked): No, they're condoms!
All 3 kids: Arrghhh.
Supermarket
Melbourne
Australia
Thug: So I just need somewhere to test my invention…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: can't help but wonder…
- Posted on
- Thugs, Washington, DC, Wishes
Guy: Remember “sweaty boobs”?
Girl: What?
Guy: Remember he broke up with her because she had sweaty boobs!
Porter Exchange
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dave
- Posted on
- Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Massachusetts, Memory lane, Questions, Rack
Drunk (just thrown out): I bet if had really big boobs you'd let me back in.
Cop working security for the club: No, actually we wouldn't.
Drunk: What, you don't like big boobs?
Cop: Not on dudes.
Drunk: Huh? No, I mean if I was a chick.
Cop: You'd make a really ugly chick.
Drunk: Huh?
Cop: Get the fuck out of here.
Nightclub
Scottsdale, Arizona
- Posted on
- Arizona, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Cops, Default, Drunks, Gender issues, Rack
Art history professor: Those long ship voyages… you're looking at the sheep, the sheep's looking back at you, and “hey!”
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
- Posted on
- Class, Pennsylvania, Stupidity, Teachers, Words
Woman in suede coat with shearling trim: They put greater value on a human life than on an animal's. Terrible.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Poogins
- Posted on
- Animals, California, Default, Feelings, Philosophy
Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.
Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York
Loud guy on cell: So that's like, what, a 90% ratio of girls who have gotten pregnant right after I dated them? (bursts out laughing)
Girl to friend: Wow, I want him as my next boyfriend!
LSU
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: the things you hear when you go to class early….
- Posted on
- Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Guys, Louisiana, Pregnancy, Relationships, Wishes
Drunk girl #1: You get to hook up with all the guys walking around clapping to the music.
Drunk girl #2: That's fine! I like the clap!
Beverly, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sam-a-lamb
