Woman: Why does it smell like something's burning? Maybe it's my flesh…(sniffs hand) Nope!

Benicia, California

Overheard by: Liz

Man on cell: I guess I'm just going to have to scrub my legs.

Lafayette, Louisiana

Overheard by: Kristin

Drunk girl #1: That's the first men's bathroom I've ever been in that didn't have porn mags!
Drunk girl #2: Not ones that you could see!

Lincoln, Nebraska

Professor: Then the electrons are passed around like a hot potato or, you know, a cheerleader.

Radford University, Virginia

Man on cell: Hey man! Sorry I couldn't make it, I've got tons of widows waiting on me!

Eccles Tennis center
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Brittni

Energetic little boy: Can I punch him?
Harassed mom: You can punch him later.

Lake Arrowhead, California

Galveston woman: I swear, when I first met Sheila 20 years ago she looked middle-aged. She still looks middle-aged.
Guest from California: Maybe she discovered the fountain of middle age.

Galveston, Texas

Overheard by: Chas

Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)

Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana

Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don't know why.
Mother: No, it's such a waste of money.

Target
Voorhees, New Jersey

Overheard by: deno

Drunk: Two of my three girlfriends just dumped me. I'm looking for replacements.
Cute blonde: Do you like beer?
Drunk: Yes.
Cute blonde: In your face?

Carlton
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: itookherhome