Drunk (just thrown out): I bet if had really big boobs you'd let me back in.
Cop working security for the club: No, actually we wouldn't.
Drunk: What, you don't like big boobs?
Cop: Not on dudes.
Drunk: Huh? No, I mean if I was a chick.
Cop: You'd make a really ugly chick.
Drunk: Huh?
Cop: Get the fuck out of here.
Nightclub
Scottsdale, Arizona
- Posted on
- Arizona, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Cops, Default, Drunks, Gender issues, Rack
Art history professor: Those long ship voyages… you're looking at the sheep, the sheep's looking back at you, and “hey!”
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
- Posted on
- Class, Pennsylvania, Stupidity, Teachers, Words
Woman in suede coat with shearling trim: They put greater value on a human life than on an animal's. Terrible.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Poogins
- Posted on
- Animals, California, Default, Feelings, Philosophy
Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.
Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York
Loud guy on cell: So that's like, what, a 90% ratio of girls who have gotten pregnant right after I dated them? (bursts out laughing)
Girl to friend: Wow, I want him as my next boyfriend!
LSU
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: the things you hear when you go to class early….
- Posted on
- Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Guys, Louisiana, Pregnancy, Relationships, Wishes
Drunk girl #1: You get to hook up with all the guys walking around clapping to the music.
Drunk girl #2: That's fine! I like the clap!
Beverly, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sam-a-lamb
Girlfriend: This is your out-of-town toothpaste.
Boyfriend: So?
Girlfriend: Look how fucked up it is!
Boyfriend: Don't start talking shit about my toothpaste!
Shelby, Michigan
- Posted on
- Couples, Default, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Insults
Hungover guy: Man, I got so fucked up last night. The last thing I remember was walking into the bathroom. And then this morning I woke up to the sound of someone yelling “Who the fuck are you?” So, naturally, I responded with, “Well, who the fuck are you!?” and then I looked around and said, “Wait… yeah, I might be in the wrong place.” And the guy goes, “Wait, no, I think I might be in the wrong place.”
www.overheardinathens.com
- Posted on
- Default, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Memory lane, Overheard in Athens, Questions
Girl: You know, you were in my dream last night.
Guy: Oh, really? What was happening?
Girl: Well, …you were trying to kill me.
Guy: Oh… that wasn't a dream.
Oviedo, Florida
Overheard by: Um…
