Overheard Everywhere

Florida Isn't Quite Ready to Go Goth

Thu, 17 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Winn Dixie greeter to two non-smiling girls, cheerfully: Welcome to Winn Dixie, keep those smiles on. Keep the joy alive.

Sunrise, Florida

Overheard by: The kill-joys

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-17

And Exchange Them for a Hannah Montana Flip-Phone

Wed, 16 May 2012 18:00:00 -0500

Girl to mother: I want a refund! I am not satisfied! Take these ovaries back!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Justine Hutchings

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-16

In Every Paranoid Delusion, There's a Kernal Of Truth

Wed, 16 May 2012 12:00:00 -0500

Dad, pushing shopping cart: What should we get? Some more carrots?
Kindergarten son: Yeah!
Dad, pushing shopping cart: Some more corn?
Kindergarten son: No! You'll die!

San Diego, California

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-16

Sadly, You've Lost the Right to Mock Her Stupidity

Wed, 16 May 2012 06:00:00 -0500

Typical suburb high schooler: Oh my god. Sarah Palin is so annoying. She makes me want to shoot myself.
Typical suburb highschooler friend: Wait, does she go to our school?

Suburbs
Chicago, Illinois

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-16

I Told Him He Wasn't Ready to Own Cats

Wed, 16 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Lady to fellow Disney-goer: And then he put aftershave on it, and he ended up in the hospital.

Epcot's World Showcase
Disney World, Florida]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-16

You Say That Anyway, Stephanie.

Tue, 15 May 2012 18:00:00 -0500

20-something girl #1: Wouldn't it be great if that's how you knew a guy was gay--because he cums glitter.
20-something girl #2: Haha, yeah--I'm going out tonight--cum on my face!

London
England

Overheard by: Just trying to buy some art supplies]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-15

When Super PAC Ads Backfire

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:00:00 -0500

Little boy at monkey exhibit: Whoa! Look at its face!
Slightly older sister: That's his butt!

Baltimore Zoo
Baltimore, Maryland]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-15

And Don't We Need to Be Close Enough to Touch the Screen?

Tue, 15 May 2012 06:00:00 -0500

Teacher: We're going to be watching a movie in Spanish, with English subtitles.
(scrolls to 'English for the hearing impaired')
Student: Wait! Won't that just be, like, dots?

Virginia Beach, Virginia]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-15

And Massachusetts Call Girls Charge Extra After Midnight

Tue, 15 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Pilot to passengers at gate: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm captain Tom. We're going to do the early departure early arrival thing. My apologies to you if you're not there yet, but I need to get to the hotel in Boston by 11 pm. Nip/Tuck is on.

Airport
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Rachael J.]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-15

Sounds Like an Accountant

Mon, 14 May 2012 18:00:00 -0500

Professor: So now the internet is used for visual works!
Student: And lolcatz.
Professor: Who's Llowell Katz?

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Janie]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-14

Yaaaaaay, the Inoculation Worked!

Mon, 14 May 2012 12:00:00 -0500

Guy #1: Hey, what's that disease that when you get it it makes you, like, super intelligent?
Guy #2: Dude... What?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-14

The Original 12-Person Village People Was One Hot Mess

Mon, 14 May 2012 06:00:00 -0500

Sad barfly: I'm not sure which I liked less, being ripped off by an indian or by a nun.

Edinburgh
Scotland]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-14

But, on the Exam, We Also Accepted "They Harsh My Mellow"

Mon, 14 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Ob-gyn lecturing on different contraceptives: Yeah, uterine perforations are a total bummer.

Harvard School of Public Health
Cambridge, Massachusetts]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-14

...Is What I Wrote to My Congressman.

Sun, 13 May 2012 18:00:00 -0500

Girl in dorm hallway: So many condoms, not enough candy!

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam. the blind]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-13

Here's Cher to Explain...

Sun, 13 May 2012 12:00:00 -0500

Professor: Don't get old, people. I definitely recommend against it. Of course, the alternative isn't that great either.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cryptic]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-05-13