Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Who Gives Map Quizzes at the College Level?
Student #1, pointing to answer on a map quiz: Why did I get this wrong?
Student #2: That's Canada, you labeled it the USA.
Student #1: But we own them, the professor said so.
Student #2: Figuratively.
Student #1: Well, that's misinforming!
Cafe, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio
Why Vacations Exist.
Conductor: Next stop, Chiswick. (trailing off) Chiswick... Chiswick... Cheese balls... Cheese balls...balls. (normal tone) Next stop, Chiswick.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Stefa
And What's That on Your Hamburger?
Chick: Has anyone seen the bottle of fake blood?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
...For Being Boring.
Girl on cell: At least I never got kicked off of Facebook!
UCLA
California
Overheard by: what...?
Not Even Sofia Bush?
Trolley driver, approaching Bush Street: Anyone for Bush? Then get off! Anyone? Anyone? (no one moves) Thank god!
San Francisco, California
I Can Only Tolerate the Illusion Of Clean
Semi-drunk girl in pub crawl attire: I hate Windex, but I fuckin' love Febreze!
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: History Major
It's Even Worse in Chicago.
8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So...um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind...
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: nice thought...
Your Editors Pray She's Not from the U.S.
Tourist woman to wheelchair-bound local: Can you point me in the right direction?
Wheelchair-bound local: Yep, it's straight down that way.
Tourist woman: Okay...but is it walkable?
St. Lawrence Market
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
And the Local Deer Keep Trying to French-Kiss Me
100-pound, totally fit wife: I am pretty sure I have elevated sodium levels.
Husband: Your sodium levels are fine, honey.
100-pound, totally fit wife: No, I really think they are high enough to put me in the at-risk category.
Husband: What are you basing that on, exactly?
100-pound, totally fit wife: My tongue feels oversalted.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
So Why Would You Want to Be a Middle-School Nurse?
Tall woman on cell: It's not like I wanted to do it either, but sometimes you just have to grab her, spread her legs, and shove the tampon in there. I mean it's part of the job after all.
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: I hope she gets hazard pay!
If I Wanted to Read Subtitles I'd Get a Book!
Daughter at video store: What about this one, mom?
Mom: You pick crap! I'm getting you an animated movie!
Rodanthe, North Carolina
And I'm the Dairy Queen.
Seven-year-old girl #1: Hey! There goes Angus!
Seven-year-old girl #2: Oooh, you are falling in love with him.
Seven-year-old girl #1: I am so not falling in love with him. He's allergic to dairy!
Australia
Overheard by: hahamama
