Celebritywit

Sure, Why Not?

Guy to TA, during archaeology midterm exam: When it says "How did they adapt physically?" does that mean...like...physically?

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington


Categories: | Posted 2009-01-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

No One Respects the President Anymore

Guy on headset: I'll talk to you later. I hope your speech impediment improves.

Vienna, West Virginia


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Chad and Jeremy Break Up

Gay guy #1, walking down the street: Oh, this place is cute. Your parents should stay here when they visit.
Gay guy #2: That's a funeral home.

Market Street
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: Ray


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We'll Get You a Milk and an Epi Pen and Let's See What Unfolds

Five-year-old in cafeteria during kindergarten lunchtime: Mr. Greg, my mom didn't put juice in my lunch. Can I get a drink from the cafeteria?
Mr. Greg: Sure, I'll get you something. You want milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Regular white milk or chocolate?
Five-year-old: Chocolate.
Mr. Greg: Okay. You're not allergic to chocolate, are you?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: You are? Oh, then I'll get you white milk. Are you allergic to white milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Oh, then I'd better see if they have juice.
(Mr. Greg goes into the kitchen and comes back with orange juice)
Mr. Greg
: Here's some orange juice. You're not allergic to orange juice, are you?

Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Do you know what "allergic" means?
Five-year-old: No.

Elementary School
Los Angeles, California


Categories: | Posted 2009-01-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If They Want To Help the Economy

Drunk guy: Everyone in this room should get hair extensions.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia


Overheard by: Meech


Categories: | Posted 2008-12-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Was Thinking More A Piece of Pizza

Guy: You know what you need? You need your asshole licked.
Girl, deadly serious: I've had my asshole licked. That is not what I need.

Planetfest 2008
Jacksonville, Florida


Overheard by: Raynay


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And I Only Eat Things in the Primary Color Wheel

Girl #1: Hey, you wanna grab dinner in a bit?
Girl #2: Sure, want to go to Risley?
Girl #1: Okay, I'm just going to warn you now, though I'm like a reaally slow eater...I only use my front teeth.

Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia


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...Slowly Rubbing Shea Butter on My Back

Professor, about English grammar: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Overheard by: ed216


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Tonight on Birthdayzillas

Eight-year-old boy: So, is the birthday party going to be fun?
Six-year-old girl: Yeah!
Eight-year-old boy: Who knows? It could be a disaster!

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: working hard to make it a fun party.


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Because It's Tuesday

Woman in red tutu: I am in pain. And hungover. And starting to drink again. In a red tutu, of course.

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: Poogins


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In Providence, The Living Will Envy the Dead

Soccer mom to group of children: Okay, who's dead?
Several of the children, excitedly: I'm dead! I'm dead!

Outisde Trinity Rep
Providence, Rhode Island


Overheard by: Katie M


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Chances Are Good We'll Get to Denver or Somewhere Near It

Stressed flight attendant, after four-hour delay: Folks, we've just been cleared for immediate departure. (passengers cheer) All passengers must be seated, with your seat belts fastened for takeoff. To do so, insert the metal--well, if you can't figure it out for yourself, you're in trouble. If at any point an oxygen mask appears in front of you, you'll want to put that on. In the event of a water landing occurring between St. Louis and Denver, there will be a flotation device under your seat and about three feet of snow in hell. Emergency exits--front, over-wing and rear--wherever it says so. Don't even think about smoking. See the safety information card for the rest. Here we go.

Runway
St. Louis Airport, Missouri


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