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I Need to Map to Get to Hers
Psychology professor, introducing himself: I could pull down my pants and show you my tattoo on my ass if you really wanted to get to know me.
Student: What is it?
Psychology professor: It's the Green Bay Packers symbol, the 'g.'
Students: (giggles)
Psychology professor: Yeah, my wife calls it my g-spot.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: rustybeard
Then I Might Agree to Marry You
Guy: The best you can do is jumping off the Eugene Hotel and landing on some old dude.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Fesus!
High school senior: I've been told that my voice sounds like a cross between Fergie and Jesus.
Baltimore, Maryland
Quit Trying to Skirt the Issue, Victoria.
Teen to mother: First of all, I object vehemently to anything that has anything to do with my putting on pants?
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Lester T.
Shouldn't Have Done That Last Pythagoras Shot, Though.
College guy: Dude! I just pre gamed before math!
Student Union
UCLA, California
Overheard by: Mallory
Not As Emo As the Ground, But Close.
Guy: The sky is pretty emo.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
When You're Raised by a Jewish Mother, You'll Understand.
Man drinking coffee: And that's why I always treat everything like it's going to kill me.
Ohio
God Forbid Anybody Check a Fucking Bag
British guy putting bags in overhead compartment, after woman taps him on shoulder: Yes?
Woman: You have two bags.
British guy: What?
Woman: You're only allowed one.
British guy: Sit down and mind your own business.
Woman: It's because of people like you that there's no space left for the rest of us. How is it fair that you can do that?
British guy: You're twice the fucking weight that I am yet only had to buy one ticket. How's that fair?
Amsterdam
Netherlands
Overheard by: The guy who was killing himself laughing in the next row
...And Then You'll Be a Made Man.
Very attractive man dressed in suit: It's like, Gino, put on the right skirt and shoes and talk to the concierge for awhile...
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kassie
Cheaper Than Paying for a Dominatrix, Y'know?
Man on the bus telling friend about a local sandwich shop: The bloke who works there is a massive Australian, he used to play rugby for the Giants, and his sandwiches are shit. When he gives you 'em, he's all like 'you're an English wanker', and they're shit. (pause) I keep going back, though.
Huddersfield
England
And It's 3D-- Minimum
American female tourist, seeing ruins: Oh gaaad, it's so realistic you could walk right up and touch it!
Pompeii
Italy
Boxers Are Always Getting Something Broken.
16-year-old girl to another: Sorry about that, my underwear's broken today.
European School
Brussels
Belgium
Overheard by: Gloria
