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With This Little Thing?
30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes... or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!
Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Oklahoma | Orgasm | Questions | Sex | Students | Teachers | Time Management | Posted 2010-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Afraid Beer Had Me
Hobo, surrounded by EMTs and police: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Sir, have you been drinking?
Hobo: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Have you had anything yummy, like beer?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: nathans
Why Do I Always Gotta Be the Burrito Holder?
Dude: Hold this burrito, I gotta take my clothes off.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Clothes | Food | Guys | Illinois | Offers and requests | Posted 2010-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Take That IPad!
Teen girl #1, looking at bookmarks: Oh--I would totally read if I had a cool bookmark!
Teen girl #2: Oh, me too, for sure!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Or I'm Sure He Would If We Could Locate Him.
Mother to four-year-old daughter: You're forgetting mummy is mummy and not daddy. Daddy is the one who cares.
Target
Australia
Not During?
Incredibly drunk sorority girl to boyfriend: Sweetie, can we throw up before we do it tonight?
UBC
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: The only sober guy on the bus
Categories: Canadia | Couples | Drunks | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Sex | Sorority types | Posted 2010-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Officially Recognized As a Sport in Texas.
Young waitress: He hit a deer on his motorcycle?! That's like... running into a horse with another horse!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: Picture that...
Categories: Animals | Baristas | Compare and contrast | Oregon | Posted 2010-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If We've Learned Nothing Else from There's Something About Mary, It's That.
Girl #1: It's my hair, isn't it?
Girl #2: Your hair is begging to be oversexed.
Wellington, New Zealand
Overheard by: Bea
Categories: Girls | Hair | New Zealand | Sex | Posted 2010-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Always Show Me Up, Peggy
Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Katie F
And What If It Took Pictures?
Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.
Calgary
Canadia
That Guy Is Always Purple Raining on Our Parade.
Museum employee: I'm from Minnesota, originally.
Guy: I lived in Minnesota for a while, a long time back. Nice place, but there was way too much of that one guy. You know, that guy? The little guy? With "purple ..."?
Museum employee: ...Prince?
Guy: Yeah, that's the one.
Art Museum
Denver, Colorado
Like God, If They Didn't Exist, TV Would Have to Invent Them
Young film intern asked to come up with new story: What about a girl surrounded by her sassy, lesbian friends? Do lesbians come in sassy?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: I honestly don't know
