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...in Piñata Form?
Nicely dressed guy: So you had Michael Jackson in your backyard?
Ginger Thai
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Revision
...After Feeding Me Tequila.
Cheer couch #1: I can tell when a cop is coming, by the headlights.
Cheer couch #2: I wish I could tell when a cops coming.
Cheer couch #1: Yeah, it's god's way of protecting me.
Custer, South Dakota
Overheard by: Oh Ya Know!
And Then How Would I Play My Cello?
Girl taking picture of friends: Why aren't you smiling? You should be smiling.
Asian friend: I'm Asian. When I smile my eyes disappear.
New Jersey
Overheard by: Katie
Why Men Need Female Friends, Encapsulated
Girl: Your girlfriend's nice, but she's a bitch.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Except Helena Bonham Carter, Of Course.
Hobo, stumbling onto train: You know, everybody's just too scared to tell white people the truth! But I'ma tell 'em the truth! White people ain't white... they pink!
Manhattan, New York
Also, I've Graded Your Midterms.
English professor, discussing fairy tales: Think of The Beauty and the Beast. You can't have talking clocks, candelabra, or teacups. And if I'm really ruining your day, there's no Santa, either.
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: ...wait a minute, what??
Just Remember, the 8 O'Clock Show Is Completely Different from the 10 O'Clock Show
Hobo to group of teens in front of drugstore: If you can guess what my favorite band is, I'll give you this dollar. It starts with an "l".
Teen boy: Um, Led Zeppelin?
Hobo, frustrated and throwing the money at them: Fuck you, man! Fuck you!
Drugstore manager, coming out of drugstore, to teens: Did you just throw something at this man?
Teen girl #1: No, he threw something at us.
Teen girl #2: He told us he'd give us a dollar if we guessed the name of his favorite band. It starts with an "l".
Drugstore manager: Led Zeppelin?
Hobo: Fuck you, man!
Studio City, California
Overheard by: Urz
Not This Time, Thank God.
Girl #1: Owww!!
Girl #2: What? What!?
Girl #1: Something hit me!
Girl #2: Oh, was it the bible?
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Savannah
On a Toilet.
Woman: She can't work, she has a bladder problem. It leaks.
Man: Well, she should just get a job where she sits down all day.
Nashville, Tennessee
Was She Wearing a Leather Catsuit Again?
10-year-old boy: So I went over to my neighbor's house, but she chased me around with a big stick.
10-year-old friend: You're a real ladies' man.
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: Alex
When the Gooey Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going.
Barista #1, packing a box of just-glazed donuts: Ew, they're all slimy.
Barista #2: Yeah, all that glaze.
Barista #1: It's like they're covered in semen.
(barista #2 giggles)
Barista #1: Seriously. It's like I'm cleaning up after an orgy on the streets of Louyang. I'm too gay for this shit!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Mr. Blevins Was Somewhat Delayed in North Africa
Old man at bank counter: I'd like to cash this cheque for £5, 6 shillings and 9 pence.
20-something female cashier: Erm... Sorry?
Old man: I'd like to cash this cheque for £5, 6 shillings and 9 pence.
20-something female cashier: Sir... This cheque was written in 1958.
Old man: I'm 96 years old! I just want to cash my cheque.
20-something female cashier: I appreciate that sir, but the pound has been decimal for around 40 years now... It's 2012. This is in pre-decimal currency... I don't know if we can cash it.
Old man: I'm 96, I don't need any hassle! I want to see the manager!
Bank manager, coming over: Is there a problem, sir? (cashier explains situation) Ah... Right... Erm... Ok. (pause) Well, if you'd like to step this way sir, we'll see if we can deal with this over a cup of tea.
Old man, disappearing into office with manager: I'm 96! I fought in World War II and you tell me I can't cash a bloody cheque!?
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
