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Weirdest Roommate Ever
Loud man: ...and he wakes me up at night licking my eyelids!
Siam Orchid
Manchester, New Hampshire
Then We Have a Newfound Admiration for P.S.- I Love You
Mother holding DVD box to two tween kids: No, we can't get this one, it has too much (whispers) anal sex.
Best Buy
Calgary
Canadia
...And Season One Little House on the Prairie
Girl #1: It's just that I feel like Amazon is judging me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I bought one gay erotica book and now it wants me to buy Japanese porn.
Starbucks
Ukiah, California
Do They Make Clearasil for Penises?
Girl: Nick's dick reminds me of being fifteen.
Marquee Theatre
Phoenix, Arizona
Or Between a Comfy Bed and a Public Bathroom
20-something foreigner: The Democrats and Republicans... It's like the difference between safe sex and unsafe sex.
Taverna
Athens
Greece
Overheard by: sarah
Hello? It's a Unicorn!
Dad to daughter: Just don't pretend you're riding a bucking bronco when you're in bed.
Seattle, Washington
But Try Not to Speak
Large, beefy boyfriend: Wow babe, what you said was really extinct... wait, doesn't "extinct" mean dead and not here anymore? I think I mean "distinct" or something.
Nerdy girlfriend: I love you.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
Thank Goodness I'd Learned to Pick Locks at Whore Finishing-School
Girl to friends: I got locked out of my house for being a whore.
Girl's friends: Yay!
San Diego, California
...As This Photo Album Clearly Illustrates
Girl #1: Oh my god, black guys have the biggest penises in the world.
Girl #2: No way!
Girl #1: Really, it was as big as my thigh.
Random lady sitting next to them: Oh my god, they are!
Los Angeles, California
Should We Go for the Easy "Eating Pussy" Joke Here?
Housewife: We all have days at home with the cat where we think, "God, that cat looks yummy."
Newcastle
Australia
Overheard by: Susie
Yet the Outlook Is Still Not So Good
Girl to boyfriend: My ass is not a magic 8-ball.
Cornmarket Street
Oxford
England
Nice Try-- No Homosexual Calls Himself "Homosexual"
Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.
Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi
