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How Professor Schmidt Got Mugged in Harlem
Professor: Many theaters are located in New York's East Village, located in the northwestern part of Manhattan.
OSU Theatre Class
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel Jane
Former Kindergarten Teachers Make Quite Efficient Hobos
Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man
...After What Happened Last Time?
Sober sorostitute with heavy smoker's voice: Like o-m-g, I just decided on my Halloween costume!
Drunk sorostitute, stamping feet: Oh my god! What?! What what what?
Sober sorostitute: Wait for it...wait for it... Little ho peep!
Drunk sorostitute: Can we have sex with the little ho sheep?
Duke University
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: Disgusted
She's Also a Terrific Driver.
Asian girl #1, looking at yogurt display: Ten for seven dollars, what is that?
Asian girl #2: I don't know, I don't want to do the math.
Los Angeles, California
NewsFlash: Englishman Has Sense Of Humor. Film at 11.
Pilot, after riding tarmac for 20 minutes: Ladies and gentleman, this concludes our first two miles of our trip from London-Heahtrow International to Newark International. We do hope you enjoyed our lovely tarmac. The flight will commence once air traffic gives the all-clear for takeoff.
Heathrow International Airport
London
England
Overheard by: tired traveler
...But, Um, the Essay Topic Was "My Favorite Pet"
College student #1: So I was thinking I was going to write about Hitler, and how he was like...bad?
College student #2: Totally.
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: dumbfounded
Probably Not Abortion Doctors.
Student on phone: Did you know doctors get fifty percent off of Domino's pizzas?
University of Sussex Campus
England
Overheard by: Zaney
Like, What the Hell Does "Whom" Mean?
Receptionist, explaining e-mail to coworker: Or she may have even did the grammar slightly off.
Library
Arizona State University
No One Has Problems Like I Do!
Teary-eyed teen: But I don't wanna work...I wanna go to Istanbul!
Palmer, Alaska
Just a Bit Self-Conscious About His Baby-Carrot Penis
Blonde: So this guy was hitting on me and he was like, "so, do you have a boyfriend?" and I was like, "ummm, yeah." It was really creepy. I was like, "oh my god, I can not tell my boyfriend about this!" I mean, normally he wouldn't really care, but (looks around and lowers voice) this guy was black, so I think my boyfriend might flip. I mean, not that he's racist or anything.
Penn Tech
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
I've Forbidden It from Watching Terms Of Endearment
Queer, after being rushed to play Scrabble: You don't understand what it's like having all vowels!
Drunk girl: You don't understand what it's like having a vagina, so who wins?
Queer: I do! I have an emotional vagina.
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: pucewoman
But Instead It Was Kindergarteners.
Guy: We could have been run over by trucks or seagulls.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
