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Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he's black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
And in a Jar in the Office Fridge
Large black dude on cell: What?!... Okay... His sperm is alive and well and kicking.
BART
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Nate
Like Travel Boggle!
Tall blonde: That's just cause you're short... No, don't worry! You're adorably short. You're small and compact for my convenience.
Short brunette: I'm fun-sized!
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: in the spirit of Halloween
Hardly Worse Than Getting Dick-Poked Before Birth
[husband and wife are pushing stroller through the mall. Suddenly another man rushes up and picks the husband up, twirling him around while everyone cracks up]
Man, looking over at child: Wow, that would be a really awkward first memory!
Spotsylvania Towne Centre
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: That Girl In The Kiosk
Well Obviously
Film professor: Apparently in the 1970s the devil came to earth with the intention of occupying small women.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: David
Is the Moral of the Ant and Grasshopper Story
Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed... are a pain in the ass.
Auckland
New Zealand
Since His Parole Officer Told Him to Keep His Ass Clean
Teen girl: Sam is so sexy. There's like, no poopy on him.
Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: I don't know about you
Girls Suffer Most from the British Class System
Girl #1: All they talked about was fannies... And tits... And... Fuckin'... Something else.
Girl #2: Rugby.
Girl #1: Yeah. Rugby.
Warwick
England
She Produced Sitcom Pilots in the 80s
Blonde: I wish I was a dad. It would be so funny!
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sars
Fool Me Twice, Shame on Morton's
Freshman girl: Never snort salt.
Other freshman girl: I know, right! It burns so bad!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Shelby
Edgar Allen Poe Was a Difficult Kid to Raise
Mother: Honey, do you remember mommy's friend Denise?
Four-year-old son: Uh-huh.
Mother: Well, mommy has to leave right now, because Denise's father passed away, and I have to go and tell Denise that I'm sorry.
Four-year-old son: Oh. Did you kill him?
Port Jefferson, New York
Overheard by: arctinus
Christian Discovers He Has a Vocation for the Priesthood
Gay boy: ... And I woke up and my room was filled with red buttons and ears of corn, then my comforter turned into a giant lake, and three purple rhinoceroses just like rose out of it! And--
Girlfriend #1: No, Christian, there is no such thing as rhinoceroses. The plural of "rhinoceros" is "rhinocerii".
Girlfriend #2: Stacy... I don't think that's right... I think it may be "rhinos-"
Girlfriend #1: Courtney, that's ridiculous, we're being serious here...
Gay boy: Okay, guys! It doesn't matter. Anyway, back to the story... The weirdest part is, after all that happened, I thought I liked girls...
Girlfriend #1 and girlfriend #2: Wow... That is strange...
Huntington Movie Theater
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Mo
