Overheard Everywhere

They're Instrumental in Getting High?

Professor: So the wars of opium wars were fought because the Chinese didn't want their citizens smoking their bongos and being loopy.
Student: Wait, bongos?
Professor: Yeah those pipe things... Bongos, right?

Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Erika

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-17

What Happened to the Other.... Actually, I Don't Wanna Know

New homeowner: Did you ever find out what was causing that smell?
Worker: Yep.
New homeowner: What was it?
Worker: I'm not gonna tell ya.
New homeowner: Come on, what was it?
Worker, with a serious face and tone: You've got about four and a half to five opossums underneath your house.

Huntington, West Virginia

Overheard by: Jess

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-17

We Respect That You Didn't Take the Easy Route with "Robert Downey Jr."

Girl: "Pokemon Stadium," is just stupid. If the other Pokemon does some confusion attack, you just end up slapping yourself or some shit. No one gets so confused they hurt themselves!
Boy: Tell that to Danny Bonaduce.

Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Katie

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-17

Jesus Was to Vex Mary His Entire Life

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there's people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-17

I Wondered What You Had Against Charlie Chaplin

Suit #1: I meant 'tramp' like a homeless person.
Suit #2: Ohhh. Well, that changes everything.

Yonge and College
Toronto
Canadia]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-17

I Am One With My Car

Young woman to girl, after car accident: Do you have car insurance or anything?
College girl: Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Young woman: ... Uhh... That would be health insurance.

South Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Charlee]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-16

I Hardly Touched Myself at All

Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn't mean I'm creepy.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado]]>

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And I Need Lipstick for Medicinal Purposes

College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I'm all for feminism, but I don't like carrying heavy things.

Target
Towson, Maryland

Overheard by: Kay-ren]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-16

Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.

Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald's. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]
Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

McDonald's
Belo Horizonte
Brazil]]>

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Good Point --No Effect on Religious Beliefs

Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?

Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself]]>

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I Know It's True --I Heard It from a Christian Rapper

Teacher: So when you have sex with someone who isn't a virgin, your spirit is having sex with the spirits of everyone that person had sex with.

Religion Classroom
El Paso, Texas]]>

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Only That One Time, When We Were Stuck in Traffic

Small boy: It's fire!
His mother: That is your umbrella. It is not a sword or weapon of any kind.
Small boy: It's underpants!

Trolley
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania]]>

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Material Boy Though I Am

Male professor: I'm sorry, I just can't sing "Some boys kiss me". I know that's desperately heteronormative, but I can't help it!

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire]]>

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Build Him a Sukkah?

Loudmouthed breakfast patron: I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but what if you keep kosher and someone, like, brings a pig to your house? Like, what do you do with their pet pig?

Toast Two
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Paul]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-15

Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado

Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he's black.

Movie Theater
Colorado]]>

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-05-15