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But When We Say That About Canadians, We Get Angry Letters
Girl #1: Hey, you smell great!
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, you smell like that nice soap.
Girl #2: I don't use soap.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Justin
Categories: Canadia | Cleanliness | Compliments | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only Without the Three-Foot Margaritas
American tourist, overlooking Grand Canal: It's like... It's just like Las Vegas!
Venice
Italy
Overheard by: Pumpkin and Peanut
Categories: Compare and contrast | Geography | Italy | Stupidity | Tourists | Posted 2009-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is What Fun Is, Son.
Little boy: Ewww... what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.
Categories: Dads | Drinking & drunks | Kids | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Parenting | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since Alf Went Out Of the Business
Girl, getting up to leave: Gotta go meet flipper down by the docks, he's bringing me a shipment of cocaine.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: Ben
Categories: Crimes | Drugs | Girls | Overheard at McGill | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And We're Glad You Did.
(professor starts to write on the board. The chalk breaks. Class laughs. Professor turns around and bumps into the desk. Class laughs harder)
Professor: Shut up! Shut up and listen to me! I am teaching you things and being enthusiastic! ...much as I dislike each and every one of you!
Student: Oh man, I am so writing that down.
SUNY Potsdam
New York
Overheard by: minibab
...After You Told Me If We Don't Have Sex, the Terrorists Win.
20-something gal: Can you believe September 11th was eight years ago?
20-something guy: Really? That long? Yeah, I guess it's true.
20-something gal: A lot's changed since then. We've both lost our virginity.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Will S.
All the Good Men Are Either Straight or Extinct
Gay man: I find Neanderthals really attractive. If there were Neanderthals around now, I would be all over that.
Hyattsville, Maryland
Overheard by: prefers guys with smaller noses
If Porn Sites Sold Word-a-Day Calendars
Guy in courtyard: Areolas! Areolas! Areolas! Aaaareeeeoooolaaaas! Areolas! Areolas!
Voice from window: What the fuck?
Guy: Areolas!
Kent, Ohio
Clay Aiken?
Student: I have that song "Ring My Bell" in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It's not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don't know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song "In the Navy."
Advisor #2: That's not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Disco Dan
Processed Beef Is My Anti-Drug
Stoner #1: But what if he isn't there, or doesn't have any to sell to us?
Stoner #2: It's cool, dude, he's always there and he always has some.
Stoner #1: For sure?
Stoner #2: Yeah, man, and if we can't get any pot we will just get a hot dog instead. Stoner #1: Okay, that sounds good.
Fat Franks
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Had Pot, and hot dog!
Like His Penis, Once.
Creepy, vacant-eyed hipster, apropos of nothing: Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jen
Categories: Creepsters | Hipsters | Jesus | Overheard in PDX | Religious fanatics | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Sally Got Drunk for the First Time
Girl: Do we have any soda?
Guy: We have Pabst. It's pretty much the same.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sarafist
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Food | Girls | Guys | Offers and requests | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2009-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Sure Those Were Judas's Last Words?
Professor: And he's like, "Jesus, I wish I was pagan!"
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Are You...Part Cat?
Teenage girl to friend: I feel like if you eat my hair, we'll be more connected.
Fair Haven, New Jersey
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Hair | New Jersey | Relationships | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Preparing Me for the Cattiness Of Academia
Statistics teacher: There is a correlation between cats and happiness. Cats make people happy. But not all cats. I still have nightmares about some cats. When I was a little girl, there was this cat, Greta, who lived outdoors. I wanted to pet her, but she scratched up my whole arm and got her claws into my protoplasm!
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Georgia | Happiness | Kids | Memory lane | Teachers | Violence | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do You Go to Church?
Girl to friend: It's like someone touches your cunt and you get all happy.
Easton, Maryland
So I'll Vote for Him, Too.
Middle-aged male Wasp: I'm voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn't "Wil" only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That's kinda gay.
Denver, Colorado
Name It "Suri Cruise"?
Girl during evolution lab in biology: So, humans came from monkeys, right? So, if two monkeys had a baby and it was a human, like, what would we do with it?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: we would name it tarzan.
I Promised My Mom
Girl with friends walking by my door: No, no... sixteen! Sixteen is the age to get pregnant.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Did I miss something?
Categories: Advice | Age and ageing | Friends | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pregnancy | Stupidity | Posted 2009-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Greatest Achievement Since Your Darfur/Wizard Of Oz Essay
Guy: You do realize what you just did, right? You tied a Holocaust paper to Pokemon.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: rvc
Adam Sandler's Comedy Hasn't Evolved Much
Lady talking to friend: My little boy just loves balls. All I hear is balls,balls, balls...
Wal-Mart
Anniston, Alabama
Overheard by: Tyler
It's Vital to Be Clear About Which Classes You're Cutting
Biology professor, a month into school: You have an exam next Monday... I mean Tuesday. Next Tuesday. (chuckle) You don't have this class on Mondays.
Really blonde girl in the back: Wait! We don't?!
Blinn College
Brenham, Texas
Overheard by: Face Palm
I Smell a Sitcom Premise!
Drunk tailgater dude: Remember when you paid for that girl I fell in love with?
The Rose Bowl
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: Chad
Categories: California | Drunks | Feelings | Money | Sex | Posted 2009-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Alice Passed; Her Liver Failed
Girl, walking across campus with friends: I think two beers and a shot is the perfect amount for that class!
University of Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Colleges & Universities | Drinking & drunks | Education | Friends | Girls | Sorority types | Posted 2009-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Not the Jesus Story I've Heard
Greenpeace guy: It's never good to idolize someone who died hanging himself and jerking off.
Oregon State University
Overheard by: David
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Guys | Masturbation | Oregon | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes They Play Backup with Paperclip Castanets
Clarinet girl: I have, like, this fetish with office supplies, especially the electric stapler.
Friend: Oh my god! What?
Clarinet girl: Yeah, sometimes my roommate and I dance with it. And the boys above us creep at our window.
Friend: Oh... interesting.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Glad I don't live near them... And glad I wasn't stuck with either of them as a roommate.
At Least He Only Wanted My Clothes.
Teen to friends: Yeah, as if getting mugged isn't bad enough, it's even worse when the dude is naked.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: jfa.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Friends | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Thought Mimes Loved Boxes?
Female to male coworker: Stop trying to fit me into things!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tla
Categories: Coworkers | Eavesdrop DC | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Just Feel So Comfy in Flannel
Chick: I think that I'm the gayest straight girl in the world.
Bakersfield, California
Categories: California | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Having a TV on Every Seat Is Pretty Damn Great
Six-year-old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm-hmm?
Six-year-old girl: Was that paradise?
Train
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there
Meet Debate Club Barbie
Idiot girl #1: Well, like, Brad is like one of your favorite toys, so you wanna play with him a lot. But Adam is like your most favorite toy, so you wanna play with him all the time! So when Ashley wants to play with him you're all, "Bitch, drop it!"
Idiot girl #2: That is the best analogy.
Guelph
Canadia
Your Editors All Have Bulletproof Alibis
High school girl: There was way too much drama in sixth grade. All my friends were always talking about how their boyfriends knocked someone up. I'm like, "you're twelve years old! Get over it!"
Greenbelt, Maryland
Categories: Age and ageing | Education | Girls | Maryland | Pregnancy | Relationships | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
While I'm Sober, for Once.
Suit lady #1: So how was your weekend?
Suit lady #2: Oh, it was really good. I went to a jail.
Suit lady #1: Really? I've never been to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, neither had I... it was really good.
Suit lady #1: I've always wanted to go to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, you probably will... I thought "Seeing as I'm putting people in there, I should probably find out what it's like."
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Cassie Barlow
Too Late.
Man to friends: I think I'm finally gonna quit my job and write the sitcom I've always wanted to, about the sassy robot.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Jobs & Careers | TV shows | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You Could Find Some Cute Coveralls
Blonde teenage girl #1: If I don't get asked to prom I might just drop out of school and become a mechanic.
Blonde teenage girl #2: I know... that would suck.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: high school
Categories: Education | Girls | Insults | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2009-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fox: "Can We Base a Reality Series on That Premise?"
Professor: I don't even turn on the television anymore. It's just violence. It's all rape, and gore, and homosexual pedophiles in wheelchairs who chop up grandmothers.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: philosopher
Well, It Was Just Rain.
Preppy girl #1: So I had it all over me, it was on my hands and my face...
Preppy girl #2: Oh my god! Did you throw up?
San Luis Obispo, California
Categories: Body parts | California | Cum | Hands | Health & Hygiene | Preppies | Questions | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe Stop Voting Republican?
Guy: My mom hit my dad with a frying pan. He doesn't have a cheek anymore. It's been entirely restructured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so funny. But when he drunk--that's when she'd get a beating.
Girl, sympathetically: Your family...
Guy: Oh, I love my family! I don't know what I'd do without them!
Neptune City, New Jersey
Categories: Body parts | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Relationships | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Ever-Effective Nuremberg Defense!
Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren't really grabbing her boobs. That's just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.
Vendôme Métro
Montréal
Canadia
I Only Have Room in My Heart for Bacon
Hipster in "Vatican Chainsaw Massacre" t-shirt: And the thing is, dude, I just... (sighs) ...I just don't really care about waffles, you know?
Queen Street West
Toronto
Canadia
We'll Now Begin the "Sensual Massage" Portion Of Our Flight
Flight attendant, over loudspeaker: We will now be dimming the lights for the remainder of the flight.
(Lights dim)
Flight attendant, in deep, sexy voice: Are you in the mood to fly now? I thought so...
Southwest Airlines Flight
Austin, Texas
Categories: Airports & flights | Flight attendants | Public Transportation | Questions | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then They Told Me There'd Be Free Lunch
Incredulous girl: They wanted me to do jury duty. I told them I ain't no snitch!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: that doesn?t make sense.
Categories: Comebacks | Crimes | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That What This Is?
Male patron, hitting on girl at bar: Not gonna lie, when I get drunk, I get charming.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: friends of both
Categories: Bosses | Bragging | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Lies | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What-- Too Soon?
Teenage daughter: I had some caffeine pretty late tonight, so I'm gonna take an extra 50 milligrams of Seroquel.
Mother: I'll be sure to call Mary-Kate if anything bad happens.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Categories: About celebrities | Colorado | Family | Food | Health & Hygiene | Moms | Parenting | Teens | Posted 2009-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Ally McBeal, How We've Missed You!
Hipster girl to another: I consider myself single, except for the part where I have a boyfriend... so I can't cheat on him.
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Hipsters | Missouri | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Genies Are Wasted on Blondes
Red-headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red-headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It's my best idea yet!
Canada's Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia
Evidence That Sex and the City Would've Been a *Lot* More Interesting If It Had Involved Plus-Sized Sistahs
Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It's still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It's been three days. I can't reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That's nasty! And if you askin' what I think you askin', you can forget it!
Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Categories: Biotechs | Condoms | Fat people | Friends | Questions | Restaurants | Vagina | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Best. Peer Advisor. Ever.
Curious friend: Doesn't your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That's what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don't your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That's what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that's when he puts it in my butt.
Hoboken, New Jersey
They Grow Up So Fast
3-year-old in parking lot: Mommy, I want MONEY!
Mother: Yes, honey. Me too.
Gilroy, California
Overheard by: just a cart pusher
Categories: California | Kids | Moms | Money | Parenting | Should have used a condom | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Happened to the Cro-Magnons All the Time
Drunk girl, very concerned: He's totally going to get fucked in the A! And he has scoliosis, so he's always bent over, so he's definitely going to get fucked in the A!
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Being a Looney Tune Is a Thankless Job
Female student, having side conversation: I'm always getting hit by pianos!
Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Illinois | Students | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Swear I Was Aiming for the Bed.
Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: hah!
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pee | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Make Me Do Date Math, Tricia
18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?
National Archives
Washington, DC
Categories: Age and ageing | Girls | History | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Best Part Of Our Lives Happens Between Our Ears
Teenage girl, talking about singer at concert: It was like Star Wars, except we weren't fighting with lightsabers and my hand didn't get cut off. Oh, and he was onstage and couldn't see me.
Rumson, New Jersey
Categories: Compare and contrast | Hands | Movies | Music | New Jersey | Stupidity | Teens | Violence | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on John and Kate Plus 9MM
Chemistry lab professor: Families work well only if they are close-knit. Unlike those people who went and had eight kids. Who cares about them? I wish someone would just go shoot them.
Edison State College
Fort Myers, Florida
Overheard by: Chikara
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Florida | Kids | Murder | Teachers | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Need to Stop Watching Those Darned Kardashians, Sir.
Professor: You just need to expose yourself! That's how you better yourself!
Middle Tennessee State Univ
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Overheard by: Libby K.
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Education | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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