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At Least Let Me Tie You to the Roof-Rack
Girl stopped at a gas station refueling: Get out of my trunk now! People are going to think that I kidnapped you!
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: A Concerned Friend
Categories: Conductors | Crimes | Default | Fears | Girls | Offers and requests | Virginia | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mango: Nobody Touch Me!
Lady on PA system: United 119 passengers can claim their baggage at carousel D... D as in delicious. Delicious mango. Delicious, delicious mangoes.
Logan International Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: John Y
Categories: Advice | Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Fruit | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The French: "We're on Your Side?"
Professor: And the French, they?re only worth 2/3 of a person because, well, they?re on our side, but they don?t fight well.
Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Geography | Guys | History | Insults | Overheard at UMBC | Politics | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, I Miss College
College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people's clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Assholes | Clothes | Crimes | Default | Friends | Girls | Mental illnesses | Money | New Jersey | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff
Geeky girl: You know, I've still got my ex-boyfriend's mom's library card.
Goth friend: ...We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Animals | Books | Colorado | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Goths | Offers and requests | Porn | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the New FBI Thriller Silence Of the Shams
Girl #1: You can't just not smell his pillow.
Girl #2: I know, right? Just smell as hard as you can!
Macalester College
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: isa
Categories: Body parts | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Girls | Minnesota | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Sorority types | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Are Currently in Place
Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.
Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California
Categories: California | Couples | Default | Etiquette | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Relationships | Suits | Toys | Women | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might Want to Start Off with "I'm Straight."
Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can't tell her! I've kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she'll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don't like musicals?!
Bruin Walk, UCLA
California
Overheard by: if that's the worst thing in your relationship...
Categories: Advice | California | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fears | Girls | Guys | Movies | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That Cute?
Man, pointing out the window, to his wife: Look, honey, they even have cars!
Shout-out: zipster.wordpress.com
Overheard by: The Zipster
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Geography | Holidays | Hubbies | Idiots | North America | Stupidity | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Should We Cut to the Chase and Snort Some Lines?
Six-year-old girl to six-year old boy: Do you want to get a coffee?
Barnes & Noble
Plainfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Tdcompton
Categories: Age and ageing | Default | Illinois | Kids | Kids | Offers and requests | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Wishes | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Barricading the Door When I Came to Office Hours
Girl: He stopped calling on me in class for a while after I started his fan club on facebook.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Watch Her Do What, Exactly?
Man on cell: One needs to do two things: Read Tolstoy and watch Paris Hilton.
Shout-out: lefulelve.freeblog.hu
Categories: About celebrities | Advice | Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | On the phone | Other sites | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good Thing You Weren't in the Supply Closet an Hour Ago
Teacher: Oh wow, I just noticed that I'm not wearing my wedding ring. I feel half naked... You guys are lucky that I'm not.
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Clothes | Default | Guys | Hubbies | Relationships | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Globe Is Quite Another Matter
Professor: There's nothing sexual about this map... For me, at least.
Kansas State University
Manhattan, Kansas
Overheard by: Nicole
He Works in a 7-Eleven, So He's Used to It
Marine to friend: So, it's like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Categories: California | Crimes | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Friends | Military | Murder | Relationships | Women | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Taught Me the "White Elephant"
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
Categories: Age and ageing | Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Jesus | Leisure | Memory lane | New York | Students | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Lacked the Sweet Aroma Of Chemicals and Seared Flesh
Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.
Melbourne
Australia
Whatever You Say, Latonya
Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother's birthday is tomorrow. He's Aryan.
Wal-Mart
Tracy, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Categories: Age and ageing | California | Default | Family ties | On the phone | Pride | Race | Stores | Stupidity | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student
Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.
PM's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bragging | Christianity | Compliments | Default | Guys | Religious fanatics | Sex | Tennessee | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Secret Tile Factory
Woman: I had this brother who, like, wanted to be spy so he could speak like speak ten different languages and go on top secret missions and crap like that. Now he works in a tile factory.
Borders
Sunnyvale, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Jobs & Careers | Women | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Require Further Explanation, You Definitely Need to Attend.
Hot chick: I'm having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don't get it?
Hot chick: What's there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don't get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party -only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa
College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait... No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy's the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they're both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam's the one with the small dick.
Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Gossip | Iowa | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Penis | Sexuality | Students | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Told You Not to Call Me at Work, Grandma
Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don't worry, girl, I am listening to yo' hideous self!
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: kerblammerz
Which They Got Fucking a Liar
Drunk girl, loudly: Anyone who says they've never had an itchy asshole is just fucking lying.
Cock O the Walk Bar
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Beer Bitch
And Live in a Parental-Notification State
Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you're three weeks late, you totally don't have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you've definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2: ... Really?
Teen girl #1: Yes, I'm completely sure. You're totally fine. Golden. Except that you're 17 and might be pregnant.
Dallas Airport
Dallas, Texas
Playing Dirty-Scrabble with Todd Was Often Tedious
Guy: Yeah, you know that word? Ah, I forget it... Oh yeah, vagina!
Ontario
Canadia
His Parents Took Solace in Knowing He Would Be an "Aggressive" Gay
Kid #1, playing with blocks: This robot needs guns!
Kid #2: Pretend his hands are guns. [Pauses, then sings] Everybody dance now!
82nd and State
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: BookVixen
The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen
Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, 'You've been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!'
Girl #1: ... So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Condoms | Default | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Girls | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | South Carolina | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2008-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Mechanical Bull -- Whichever's Closest.
Drunk Texan to car with window open: Excuse me, where's the nearest brothel?
Miller Park parking lot
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Count Us in for Twenty Bucks
Dude: I'd let a horse rope me in the ass if the money was right.
Dearborn, Michigan
Overheard by: Stunned Brother
Then Turn Them into a Headband for Church
Ghetto woman #1: Oooh, I like them shorts.
Ghetto woman #2: I know, girl. My buttcheeks hang all out in them. I'm going to wear them to the club and find me a good man.
Wet Seal
Bradenton, Florida
Overheard by: Rae Crider
Categories: Black people | Bragging | Clothing | Compliments | Default | Florida | Women | Posted 2008-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Portrait of the State Senator As a Young Man
Guy #1: God, that burns! Chlamydia's a bitch! You ever get chlamydia?
Guy #2: Nah, man. I don't fuck sluts.
Guy #1: Well, I do!
College Park, Maryland
I Pay for the Ones That Come in the Mail
Guy #1: So, where do you meet girls?
Guy #2: You mean, at the strip club?
Guy #1: I mean the ones you don't pay for.
Guy #2: At the strip club.
Skillman, New Jersey
Categories: Comebacks | Default | Guys | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, I Am, but That's Neither Here Nor There
Black lady on cell: I said, 'Yeah, I'm black, but dat don' mean I be makin' counterfeit money!'
Food Lion
Sanford, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Categories: Black people | Crimes | Default | North Carolina | On the phone | Race | Women | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mmm, Faminelicious.
Chick: Brazilians are the bomb.
Dude: Eastern European chicks are always sooo hot because they can't afford food.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com" rel="external">www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Diet & weight | Food | Gender issues | Geography | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For the Last Time, These Are Tabs of E.
Four-year-old boy to eight-year-old sister: Geez! Just take some Midol and relax!
Six Flags
Maryland
Categories: Advice | Default | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Maryland | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Maybe "We're Full -- Don't Reproduce!"
Girl: Yeah, like, the day after I got back I was on St. Laurent Street and I saw a used condom on the sidewalk. It was like the city was saying, 'Welcome home!'
Montreal
Canadia
Of All the Ways to Describe Giving Birth...
Chick to friend: Can I get that pulled out of my cervix in September?
Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Questions | Time Management | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Probably the "Pot" As Well.
Skateboarder in large banana suit: We put the 'ass' in 'potassium'!
Ohio State University
Ohio
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Fruit | Ohio |