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I Used to Think It Was Sad, but Now I Can Laugh about It
Dude: I may be bipolar, but she's fucking crazy!
650 NE Holladay Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Too Many Papercuts
Categories: Default | Gripes | Guys | Mental illnesses | Oregon | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Trust Skinny People with Your Food
Skinny guy #1: I'm thinking our restaurant should have, like, taxidermied animals and tomato plants and stuff.
Skinny guy #2: Way cool!
Skinny guy #1: That way it could be like a museum of natural history full of the things people are eating, living or dead.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Airports & flights | Animals | Default | Food | Guys | Oregon | Overheard in PDX | Skinny people | Wishes | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Turn Around and I'll Show You.
Blonde: You know the bases? If third base is sex, then what is a home run?
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: my friends are really dumb sometimes...
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | New Jersey | Questions | Sex | Students | Words | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weapons of Mass Digestion
Paranoid blonde: He's just so quiet and creepy. I really feel like he could kill someone!
Annoyed brunette: Because he's quiet and creepy?
Paranoid blonde: Well, he, like, steals forks from the dining hall and stuff!
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
That's What Bothers You about Living in Texas?
Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA's here, so Houston's still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M...
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me...
High school
Houston, Texas
Snaggleteeth Are in This Season
Woman: There's nothing in my mouth that I'm ashamed of!
87 Bus
Jersey City, New Jersey
Father Martin, Why Is This Pew Wet and Sticky?
Girl: I should probably go to church tomorrow. It would make my mom happy... And the priest is really fucking hot.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Compliments | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Family ties | Girls | Religion | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is My Widdle Boy Gonna Asphyxiatey-watey?
Mom, giving toddler a stocking: That'll keep you quiet for a minute. [Toddler starts stretching it over his face.] Awww, that's so cute. Are you gonna go rob a bank?
DSW Shoes
New Jersey
Overheard by: Unburdened shoe shopper
And I've Been Drinking the Water That Smells Like Antifreeze
Dude: Oooh, they're so warm. I like to put it to my ear after they get out.
Chick: Yeah... It smells like carrots.
Dude, scoffing: I don't know what kind of carrots you've been eating!
Chick: The kind that smell like paper.
1401 University Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Girls | Guys | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Bounced Back and Totally Kicked My Ass at Beer Pong
Criminal justice professor: Babies are hard. I almost had one die on me. It was pure luck it survived.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: citycat
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Gripes | Kids | Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Been Waiting Months to Use That Line
Dining hall employee: We started doing tofu because a lot of people don't eat meat anymore.
Chick: I love meat.
Russell Sage College
Troy, New York
Categories: Blue collar | Colleges & Universities | Default | Food | Girls | New York | Students | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Don't Like the Way the Air Is Looking at Me
Sorority girl: I just hate water... It hates me back.
Dinkytown
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Karolyn
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Minnesota | Sorority types | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Only Eat It
Dude #1: So, when the hell did you start smoking cigarettes?
Dude #2: Last week.
Dude #1: Why the hell did you do that?
Dude #2: I wanna stop smoking pot.
University of Miami
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Stosh
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Default | Druggies | Drugs | Florida | Guys | Questions | Smoking | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Question My Dissertation on The Flintstones Seeks to Get to the Bottom Of
Female grad student on cell: Yeah, but what would be the societal benefit of having a bunch of dinosaurs running around?
SUNY Stony Brook
New York
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | New York | On the phone | Questions | Science | Students | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Goddamn Lungfish!
Property professor: They're only on the land about 25 days a year, and they get full possession? 'What the fuck?!' as they say!
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sa
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Gripes | Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stupid Boomer -- Tricks Are for Kids!
Girl on phone: Ewww, Grandma is so gross. Remember that time she went to the doctor and found out she had chlamydia?
Seattle University
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: gross
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Family ties | Girls | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Washington | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Both Right!
Preppy girl #1: Wow, now we all have the same necklace! We should all wear them the next time we go out!
Preppy girl #2: Yeah! We'd be like the Power Rangers or something!
Preppy girl #3: Or we'd be like douchebags.
Eastern Market
Washington, DC
Overheard by: office peon does d.c.
Categories: Comebacks | Default | Fashion | Girls | Insults | Offers and requests | Preppies | Stores | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wish I Had Somebody Who Cared Enough to Abuse Me
Bimbette #1: ... So, after he called in to quit for me, I'm sure everyone was like, 'He must be one of those, like, abusive boyfriends who won't let her work!'
Bimbette #2: That'd be okay, though.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: an invisible fiend
Categories: Bimbettes | Default | Gossip | Gripes | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have Not Converted a Man because You Have Silenced Him
Guy: Look! A squirrel!
Girl: Awww! It's cute.
Guy: It's a girl squirrel.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: It has squirrel tits. [Girl hits him over the head.]
Newark, Delaware
Which Is Much More Important Than Sending Her to School
Woman on cell: I saw the most adorable little cheetah, so I bought it for her. You know, I am the one who assigns personalities to all her animals. We have a ritual.
3rd Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California
Categories: Animals | California | Default | On the phone | Shopping | Women | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ummm, We're at a Wal-Mart in Tennessee.
Mom: Do you want to take your coat off?
Toddler: Go to hell!
Wal-Mart
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
... After I Broke in and Changed All Your Answers to "Masturbation"?
Student: Yeah, she said 'good luck' to me. [Friend rolls eyes and shakes head.] I know. It's the University of Toronto -- she doesn't mean 'good luck.' What she really means is 'I hope you choke on a toothpick and die so I can get your spot in the program.'
Friend, sighing: It really is a shame this school has to be so competitive... How'd you do on that last test?
University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A+
Why Do You Always Have to Add That?
Guy #1, leaving the bar: I'll see you later.
Guy #2, still nursing his drink: Yeah, if I don't die first.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: molly
Categories: Airports & flights | Comebacks | Death & dying | Default | Guys | Oregon | Overheard in PDX | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Mr. Cheney Looks Damn Good in a Black Teddie
Girl: Dude! Satan is in the store! He's trying on lingerie.
Victoria's Secret
Bakersfield, California
It's Like Watching My Mom
Stoner teen girl watching seals: If I ever turn into an animal, I hope I'm not a seal.
Friend: Why?
Stoner teen girl: 'Cause just look at the poor things -- it's so hard for them to, like, move. They just wobble everywhere. No legs to help them. I feel so bad for them.
Camden Aquarium
Camden, New Jersey
Overheard by: maryjane
Donna, This Tastes Like You
Girl #1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz! Here, eat some so I'm not the only one.
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don't want to be the only one!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Cum | Default | Food | Girls | Gripes | Overheard at McGill | Students | Posted 2008-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, We Sell That Here
Cop: Have you ever seen a burn victim autopsy?
Security guard chick: No.
Cop: Well, they cut into the guy, and it smelled like cooked meat. It actually made me hungry.
Wal-Mart
Richmond, Texas
Overheard by: Occam's Lady Schick
Categories: Blue collar | Cops | Death & dying | Default | Food | Questions | Texas | Posted 2008-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Fingers Are Itching Just Talking about Her
Chick #1: Well, Michelle got pissed because he touched her boob.
Chick #2: Normally I'd take her side, but Michelle is just so... gropable!
Queen's University at Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I'll never teee-eeell!
First-Year Teachers Are So Cute
Planned parenthood speaker: Who wants some condoms?
Class, in unison: Your mom.
High school assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Comebacks | Counselors | Default | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mom Has Very High Standards
Lazy girl: So, I told my mom that you and I were going to take tennis lessons together in the summer.
Workout friend: Oh, yeah? What did she say?
Lazy girl: She just laughed at me.
Workout friend: Why?
Lazy friend: She said I was too slow, uncoordinated, and she didn't outright say it, but I'm sure she thinks I'm mildly retarded.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A mild case of the ADD
Jesus Is My Squirtle
Chick: I'm like Ash from Pokémon, only with Jesus!
Denver, Colorado
I Think It Distracted People from the Opera
Male stripper: ... And I was doing this chick up the ass, and, I mean, it was awesome, but I couldn't shake the feeling that somehow I was being incredibly rude.
Generator Hostel
London
England
Overheard by: Backpacker Whisperer
All Those Childhood Years of Only Doing It Missionary...
Guy : So, I was fooling around with your sister that night at the bar, and she was like--
Friend: --Dude, be careful. She's probably out of control in bed. You know -- sheltered life...
Atlanta, Georgia
Lionel Richie: Oh, I've Tried.
Wills and Trusts professor: Can you rescind an adoption? Is it possible to say, 'I'm just not that into you'?
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Kids | Overheard in Law School | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
ROTFLMFAOAWMP
Middle-aged woman: What the fuck is 'W-T-F'?
Exmouth, Devon
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Bernard
The Two Main Entertainment Options in Chambersburg
Fat chick: My dad has a bow and arrow that you can probably borrow, but try the chocolate laxatives first.
Chambersburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: gidgetgirl
Categories: Advice | Default | Fat people | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Pimpin' As Anything in This Comic Book Store, Anyway
10-year-old boy to Scrabble players: You guys are playing Scrabble? That's totally pimpin'!
Comic book store
Towson, Maryland
Dooming You to Come on Time for All Eternity
Professor: When you're late, Eric* will take down your name. The first time he'll just tack a threatening note on your door. What did we decide you would do for the second tardy?
Eric: Slash their tires.
Professor: Right. And the third time we'll make pornographic images of you on Photoshop and put them on the Internet.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Internet | Porn | Students | Teachers | Threats | Time Management | Violence | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Calling President Washington "G-Money" Is Just Wrong
American history professor: Whoever is writing 'vah-jay-jay' instead of 'Virginia' in the notes they are submitting, please stop.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Teachers | Washington, DC | Words | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Poodleskirtectomy Had Saved Warren's Life
Old man: I recently had surgery. What was it I had removed? Something that starts with a 'P'...
Old lady: Was it your pancreas?
Old man: No... It wasn't my penis, either, because I definitely still have that.
L.L. Bean Outlet
Wareham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amanda
Categories: Default | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Old folks | Questions