Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Reams of Fun
Guy: My idea of fun is wearing a paper skirt!
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shy invisible girl
Categories: California | Clothing | Guys | Happiness | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Could You Move Your Knee?
Guy: So I told her, 'Stop busting my chops.'
Chick: What does that mean?
Guy: What does what mean?
Chick: 'Busting my chops.'
Guy: You never heard that before?
Chick: I think so, but I never knew what it meant.
Guy: It means, like, breaking someone's balls.
Chick: [Silent stare.]
Guy: You never broke someone's balls?
Chick: I don't think so.
Guy: Well, you're breaking my balls right now.
Westbury Music Fair
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
And People Who Use Them Poorly
Worker, about Administrative Professionals' Day: We don't have administrative professionals here... Just computers.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Coworkers | Eavesdrop DC | Idiots | Stupidity | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Jack Got in the Box
Scottish woman to bald Brit: If you get her number, I'm buying you a bed-in-a-bag.
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which One?
Guy #1: Let's see Grindhouse.
Guy #2: What's that about?
Guy #1: Jesus.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Idiots | Jesus | Movies | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After You Used Me As a Marijuana Mule?
Little tyke, about fireworks: Oooh, look -- green! Like St. Patrick's Day! Remember when I made it St. Patrick's Day in the toilet?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Holidays | Kids | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kenny Chesney: Cha-Ching!
Tween girl on side of parade route, to old man on John Deere in parade: I think your tractor's sexy.
Stilwell, Kansas
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Compliments | Kansas | Tweens | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like When People Call Me "Slow" but They Mean "Sexy"
Dude #1: You gotta go nucular on them!
Dude #2: It's 'nuclear,' not 'nucular.'
Dude #1: No, you can say either. It's like the difference between saying 'pancakes' and 'flapjacks.' It means the same thing.
Dude #2: Ummm... No.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I say
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Actually, They're Only Perfect If She Blows
Blonde: Even though he had already made a trail of hickies around my neck, he was apparently still in the sucking mood, because then he stole my lollipop!
Friend: That's so not cool. He's such a suck-o-holic!
Blonde: Seriously! I'm beginning to think there isn't anything he won't suck.
Passerby: Well, then you're perfect for each other, because I've heard the same thing about you.
Mt. Vernon, Iowa
Overheard by: Abby
But I'm Willing to Share
Three-year-old girl, cheerily scratching at rash: I have excema!
Crowded train
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Eggs
Categories: Maladies | Oregon | Should have used a condom | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Whites
Guy #1: No, I mean, this dude is old-school.
Guy #2: Like, how old-school?
Guy #1: Like, so old-school he plays tennis!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: brad
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in PDX | Stupidity | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Personally, I'll Be Grading the Exams at a Bar
Professor: I don't think we'll have class on Monday -- I'd rather you study for the final... Preferably not at a bar... But I realize the temptation may be tremendous.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Nah, but I've Been Dying to Tell That Story
Physics kid #1: I'm going to stab you in the jugular!
Physics kid #2: I once got hit in the jugular with a ping-pong ball...
Physics kid #1: My friend got hit by a car recently when he was running at night.
Physics kid #2: Wait, in the jugular?
overheardmost
Overheard by: http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/long-time-no-update.html
Categories: Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until Woodsy Owl Wreaked a Terrible Vengeance
Six-year-old: My dad took me to this music festival. It was just a bunch of guys in the woods banging drums and making litter.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: litter machine
Categories: Gossip | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sad Truth Is, Many Women Do.
College guy: No wonder Matt can't get a date -- his best line is, 'Do you want a badly damaged brat?'
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gently Down the Stream?
Guy cuddling his girlfriend: I'm lactating, lactating, lactating!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: quoi?
Categories: Bragging | Getting off | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Actually, I'll Need a Spiked Paddle to Properly Demonstrate
Four-year-old girl: I like sex! I like sex! I like sex!
Six-year-old sister: You don't even know what sex is!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do!
Six-year-old sister: No, you don't!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do! It's prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it's not.
Four-year-old girl: Sex is prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it's not! Sex is when mum and dad go into the bedroom and go like this...
Clayton
Australia
I'll Consider It -- What Else You Got?
Nine-year-old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: academia
Categories: Kids | Maladies | Moms | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Think I Would Fail His Class?
Asian hipster: People stare at him, and he resents them for staring at him. But I'm like, 'Maybe you should bathe!'
Jewish hipster: You should give him an elephant tranquilizer or something.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Glowien
Categories: Advice | Cleanliness | Hipsters | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because "Wal-Mart" and "Rich People" Are Practically Synonymous
Old lady #1: There's this neighborhood in Chicago that is absolutely infested with serial killers. Their solution to this was to build a Wal-Mart to bring rich, white people in.
Old lady #2: Did it help?
Old lady #1: No. One of the serial killer victims that was left for dead gave a description for a drawing, and nobody has seen him.
Old lady #2: Maybe he's locked up during the day. Maybe he's retarded and lives in a home and sneaks out only at night when no one will notice him.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Perplexed Cal student
Categories: California | Gossip | Old folks | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just So You're Disfigured in Some Way
Old teacher, petting student's hair: Your hair is so pretty. When you graduate, you should donate it to the blind.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shakananananawanda
Categories: Advice | Hair | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Make-a-Wish Foundation Rejected My Request
Hobo to three women crossing street: I wanna bite y'alls' butts! I wanna bite a butt!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tron
Categories: Ass | Hobos | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Just Like Daddy's!
Five-year-old boy holding red dress: Mommy! Mommy, look! I stealed this for you!
Macy's
Stanford, California
Categories: California | Crimes | Should have used a condom | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Toes? What Are You, Gay?
Guy #1: You gotta clean yo' fingernails up!
Guy #2: Mmm-hm.
Guy #1: You stop smokin' crack, you clean yo' toes up nice, too!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Cleanliness | Guys | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Sang "Auld Land Syne"
Girl to boy: What did you say when your balls dropped? 'Well, that's different!'
40th and Sansom Streets
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Won the Fuck-Like-Walt-Whitman Contest Hands Down
Dude: Overall, it was a good weekend... My knees, ass and thumb hurt.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: clickmehard
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Maladies | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2008-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sweetie, We're Not Rich Enough for You to Be Eccentric
Little girl to mom: Umbrellas are some of my dearest friends!
Chinese restaurant
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Kids | Missouri | Relationships | Posted 2008-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which I Would Know Absolutely Nothing About.
Poli-Sci professor on impeachment of federal judges: Once they're there, they're nearly impossible to remove... They just keep hanging in there... Kinda like herpes.
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
It Felt Good to Be Different from the English
Artsy girl #1: Hey, remember that time in London when we both thought we had scabies, but we didn't?
Artsy girl #2, sighing: That was one of the best days of my life!
Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hiding my laughter in the photo lab
Categories: Chicks | Diet & weight | Memory lane | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know I'm Allergic
Chick #1: Look, I'm wearing orange!
Chick #2: Fuck you! You just did that to piss me off, didn't you?!
Chick #1: Yeah...
Downers Grove, Illinois
None of Your Fancy Airs and Graces for Us
Girl #1: I'm Jewish.
Girl #2: I'm Catholic.
Girl #3: I'm Christian.
Girl #2: What kind of Christian?
Girl #3: Plain. Plain Christian.
Freedom Center
Manassas, Virginia
Overheard by: Amused Counselor
Or Marcia, from Accounting
NASA intern guy: So, is frosting evil, too? Just like something was evil yesterday... What was it? Something fluffy and ugly... Like flamingos, or something.
NASA Ames Research Center
Moffett Field, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl
Categories: California | Coworkers | Questions | Posted 2008-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Geez, I'm Trying
Crew member: Sir, you can't stand here.
Old man, blocking walkway: [Ignores him.]
Crew member: Sir! This is a walkway.
Old man: This is foolishness!
Passerby: Why don't you just die, already?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: uncomfortably waiting for the damn fireworks
Categories: California | Gripes | Old folks | Strangers | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh! Take Me!
Nerdy American guy to girlfriend: I am a subset of your superset.
Shanghai
China
Overheard by: MF
Categories: China | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Relationships | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Everyone Knows That
Jock: Diversity is an old, old wooden ship.
Wilfrid Laurier University
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ship's Captain
Categories: Canadia | Jocks | Philosophy | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Traded for the Sweater and Some Magic Beans
Drunk wife, for the seventh time in 10 minutes: I can't believe someone stole my sweater!
Drunk friend: I had a sweater once...
Drunk husband: Was it a man sweater?!
Drunk wife: Oh my god, I can't find my phone!
Drunk husband: Maybe it's with your sweater.
Drunk wife: I don't know... But I got lots of soap!
Wedding
Melbourne, Florida
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Florida | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Risky Even Sharing a Soda with Her
Redhead: So, Kelly* has a new boyfriend.
Guy friend: I hope he's not allergic to penicillin!
Redhead: Ouch! Me, too!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: jessi
A Nice Change from My Standard Rape-Murder Fantasy
Awkward guy to girl: Sometimes I pretend you are my child... And man, are you cute!
Eugene, Oregon
Categories: Creepsters | Gossip | Oregon | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Nice Doctor Helping You at All?
Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don't eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I've always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left... this.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sistersaywhat
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Halifax, You Keep Warm Any Way You Can
Cashier: Do you want a bag for those?
Man buying condoms: No, I want to wear them home.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: C
Some Lines Are More Important Than Others
Queer to another: Wait -- you traded Botox for coke?!
Universal CityWalk
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Gluey
Categories: California | Drugs | Gossip | Queers | Posted 2007-12-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What, Like We All Didn't Do It?
Guy, with friends: So when, as a child, you kill a pregnant bunny...
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: svggrdnbeauty and i
Categories: Animals | Guys | Murder | Overheard at BU | Posted 2007-12-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Structural Engineers Unwind
Girl: That orgy was like Legos -- anyone and everyone on top of each other! You didn't know what was what, who was who, where someone began or where did they end. It was just a big pile of human building blocks of pleasure.
Wonka Bar
Curitiba
Brazil
I Wouldn't Agree to Any Surgery, Either
Girl on cell: ... And don't let her dress you in drag -- she likes doing that.
Asheville, North Carolina
Categories: Advice | North Carolina | On the phone | Posted 2007-12-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Didn't Say I Wanted to Raise It
Teen girl: Oh! Cute baby! I want to have a baby!
Her annoyed mom: At what point did I make this look like fun to you?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kim