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Being Universally Despised
Nerd #1: His dad was in the first white reggae band in San Antonio.
Nerd #2: Wow.
Nerd #1: Yeah. So it's, like, in his blood.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: texan tempest
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Gossip | Texas | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Some Community Colleges It's an Admission Requirement
Girl: I was like, 'What the fuck,' you know? There's nothing wrong with me -- they're the stupid bitches! [People in cafeteria stare, and guy in corner starts cracking up.] Oh my god, is everyone here retarded?
Cafeteria, Thomas Nelson Community College
Virginia
And That's How We Toast in Sweden
Guy on cell: It's easy -- just grab the dick in one hand and a beer in the other!
Carmen's Bodega
Alingsås
Sweden
Overheard by: rymden
You Have to Do a Stupid Thing Six Hundred Times before It Kills You
Smoking office lady to others: She gets up on her roof, strips down, and just bakes in the sun. She thinks that just because she goes to the dermatologist once a month she's not going to get cancer. [Takes a long drag] What a retard!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: herbie mchebrew
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Philly | Smoking | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lest She Put Ye Over the Side in a Howlin' Gale
Girl to guy #1: I hate you. I hate you so much! I hate you more than... Flotsam hates Jetsam!
Guy #2: Shit, dude, I'd watch out.
Jacksonville, Florida
The Last Temptation of Christie
Chick on cell: Christie! Christie! You better not smoke all of your cigarettes today! [Snaps phone shut.]
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Categories: On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Smoking | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Another Part of the Fifties That Sucked
Eight-year-old looking at costume display: Who's Kukla, Mommy?
Mom, solemnly: Nobody knows, honey.
Fantasy Costumes
Chicago, Illinois
Besides, White Girls Don't Have Much Soul to Start With
Girl #1: Oh my god!
Girl #2: Hm?
Girl #1: I think Charlie ate my soul!
Girl #2: ... Is that a euphemism for something I don't want to hear about?
38X bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: this bus is weird...
Betty Soon Deconstructed Her Entire Reality
Girl on cell: Wait, what do you mean by downtown? Like, down... in a town?
Goucher College
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: Maryland | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know Someone Who's Waking Up with a Donkey Tomorrow Morning
Drunk guy #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Drunk guy #2: I don't remember.
Drunk guy #1: Those are the best nights, bro.
University of New Haven
West Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: through the window
Categories: Connecticut | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because I'd Really Like to Get My Money's Worth
Girl: The schedule says 'Icebreaker activity.' Do you think that will involve a lot of bodily contact?
Washington, DC
Categories: Chicks | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Want Me to Check?
Woman: Don't I strike you as blonde?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Bimbettes | Hair | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are You Suggesting a Cause-and-Effect Relationship?
Hipster chick to friends: Speaking of pregnancy, who wants pizza?
Denver Art Museum
Colorado
Life Avoidance Is Fairly Inexpensive
Nerd: Just think of how much money I saved over winter break by playing World of Warcraft -- it was 10 dollars a month instead of paying for all the stuff I would have done had I gone out.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes, but Not with Gentiles
Mom: No, I liked-- Is that bacon?!
Daughter: What?
Mom: There is a piece of bacon on the elevator floor.
Daughter: You did go to college, right?
Dorm elevator
North Carolina
Categories: Food | Moms | North Carolina | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Piranha Were Disappointed
Hipster chick: ... So then his mom said, 'Get your cock out of the fish tank!'
Gabrielino High School
San Gabriel, California
Overheard by: Alexia
Categories: California | Gossip | Hipsters | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The First Time in a Spotless Twenty Years of Alcohol Abuse
Loud hobo with wet pant leg: I pissed my pants! I got to get home to my wife to show her I pissed my pants! I got to teach my kids how not to piss their pants! I can't believe I pissed my pants!
Washington, DC
Categories: Hobos | Pee | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Hooray"?
Dude: He made out with a hooker?! No one makes out with a hooker! What was he thinking?!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: j
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like a Scat Burglar?
Boy: Dad, why do toilets flush?
Dad, irritated: I don't know.
Boy: I think it is so no one can steal the poop.
Bathroom
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Pooper Snooper
And I'm Already Tired of It
Hyper girl pulling out lots of different colored bracelets: I need to change my mood!
Friend: What's your mood, Dana?
Hyper girl: I don't know! I'm changing it!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Fashion | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Subtle Wine/Beer Distinction
Preppy girl: Wait, Irish people are from Ireland? I always thought they were from Italy!
Memorial High School
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Lily F.
Categories: New Hampshire | Preppies | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More of a Dry Meatloaf, Really
Guy: I'm not really like a saucy, creamy guy.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the ear
Categories: Food | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hahaha, Yeah, a Virulent Antibiotic-Resistant Strain
Chick to guy: Well, the joke's on you, because I have syphilis.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Biotechs | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or the Poor Baby Jesus
Amused girl: Okay, so the dog sits on the hay but it doesn't want to eat the hay. Meanwhile, it pees on the hay and leaves its doggy smell on the hay... Now, the horse comes along and wants to eat the hay, but the hay smells of doggy piss so the horse can't eat it... You, my dear, are the horse. Haha!
Annoyed girl: At least I'm not the piss.
Florida
Categories: Florida | Friends | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Terrible Wig-Hair
Smug male hipster law student: I don't do gender-bending anymore -- it almost always leads to bar fights.
Washington College of Law
Washington, DC
Overheard by: If it weren't for my horse...
Categories: Gender issues | Hipsters | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
About As Deep As Men Get
Chick #1: Sometimes I talk to my guy friends about the difference between women who are hot and women who are beautiful.
Chick #2: Which would they rather be with?
Chick #1: Hot in high school, but beautiful for getting married, because she'll be beautiful forever.
All chicks: Awww!
Chick #3: That is so deep.
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: Holly Golightly
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Washington | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Helping Her Work Through It
Dude: She has some sort of mental block about putting her legs above her head.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: etherealagent
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard at BU | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Called Her Ten Times, but She Hasn't Called Back
Guy: What a shitty day. My girlfriend told me I was 'needy, at best.'
Montreal metro
Canadia
Overheard by: Marie Elaine
Happens to the Best of Us
Man #1: There is literally a whale driving that car. Through some form of magic, a whale was turned into a woman and is now driving a car!
Man #2: I think the whale looks pretty surprised. I would be, too, if I suddenly got turned into a woman and put in a car!
Shout-out: www.overheardquote.com
Overheard by: wyse
Categories: Diet & weight | Jerks | Overheard Quote | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Stop Feeding Them That Freeze-Dried Ice Cream
Man: I just wanted to go to the cafeteria lady and say, 'My children are not astronauts!'
Ted's Restaurant
Virginia
Overheard by: Nic
That or Knitting
Dude: If I wasn't in jail or high, I was working construction.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jessica
Categories: Guys | Jobs & Careers | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Playing Chess? Really?
Girl on cell: Wait, how exactly did you manage to pull your ass muscle?
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: On the phone | Overheard in the Valley | Questions | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only When He's Sucking Cock, Though
Girl #1: Every time I see him, he seems so sad.
Girl #2: Every time I see him, he seems so hot!
Girl #1: Well, yeah, but also... somewhat... homosexual.
overheardatyale.blogspot.com
Overheard by: JB
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Yale | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Driven People Get Stuck with People Who Can't Hurry
Nine-year-old to his little sister: I have to get my grandma her milk. I have to go all the way out to the West Side, and I'm low on gas. You need to hurry your ass up!
University and East 9th
Des Moines, Iowa
Though Sometimes I Daydream about the Former
Man: I'm working with little kids now, you know. I babysit for teachers. At a nursery.
Girl: Oh?
Man: Yeah, I kinda like how the kids are recycled every year... I don't mean, like, cut up and made into new babies, but that I get new ones and the old ones move on.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Guys | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Not the Place I Belong, After All
Girl #1: ... And his sack -- it fucking smelled like a carnival.
Girl #2: What?!
Girl #1: Like barnyard animals and carny folk... And kinda like hay.
Girl #2: Well, I told you not to hump someone who is from West Virginia!
M Street and Wisconsin Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: NinaBeana
Categories: Balls | Chicks | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and We Can Swap Clothes
Guy: I think the reason I'm attracted to lesbians is their indifference to men.
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: Guys | Overheard at Stanford | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's So Cute. Now Take the Little Fucker Home.
Cute toddler boy in giant sombrero: I'm running amok! I'm running amok!
Georgetown Cafe
Washington, DC
Categories: Kids | Leisure | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Man with a Giant Rack
Little boy, about American tourist chick: Look, Daddy! She's got big boots on... Like a man!
England
It's Been All the Rage Since the Local Wildlife Started Pressing Charges
Obnoxious girl: If I got a quarter for every time I see someone hump a monument, I would be rich.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Something They Do in Customs
Drunk skater #1: Yeah, he's gotten a lot nicer since he got butt-raped in France.
Drunk skater #2: Yeah, I heard about that. Is that true?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michael
Categories: Drunks | Gossip | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Wasn't Covered During Pastoral Counseling
Woman: How would I know if you just found out?
Man, her fiancé: Well, shouldn't you know before I know?
Woman: I never do that to myself -- you do that for me!
Man: Well, it was all over my finger afterwards and under my nail -- you must be on your visitor.
Woman: I didn't know I was getting my visitor until you had some on your hand.
Man: Well, don't you look inside yourself?! Go look inside yourself and tell me what you see!
Winking Lizard Tavern
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Nah, They're from Jersey
Girl at brunch: Are your parents from... anywhere?
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Questions | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
These People Are Everywhere
Thugette: I ain't talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question -- about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!
Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia
Goldilocks Has Trouble Adapting to the World Outside the Forest
Chick: Can I have a hot chocolate, please?
Cafe worker: What size?
Chick: Hot.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since She's Only Eleven
Old grump #1: Well, you know how women boast.
Old grump #2: I know that. But I still cannot take her word for it that she is the best lay in the city.
Bloomingdale's
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the real deal