Celebritywit

Generally, Yes.

20-ish girl: Wait... Is it the Specific Ocean or the Pacific Ocean?

Sarasota, Florida


Categories: Bimbettes | Florida | Words | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Not Politics?

Student: I decided to be a speech communication major because I like to talk a lot, and I wanted to find a way where I could get a job that makes me a lot of money for using my mouth.

San Francisco State University
California


Categories: Jobs & Careers | San Francisco | Students | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

When It's My Turn, You Won't Have to Be

Girl: Slower, and harder. Down!
Guy: You're very patient.

Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com


Categories: Compliments | Friends | Overheard at Stanford | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Llamas: Jeez, Who Could Live Up to That?

Harried mom pushing stroller and toting three minions: Do you wanna see the llamas? We're gonna see the llamas! Don't you wanna see the llamas?!

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com


Categories: Animals | Moms | Overheard in California's Journal | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But You're Okay with the Second Half of That Sentence?

Stoned guy: Don't beat me up! I don't want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com


Categories: Family ties | Overheard at McGill | Stoners | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

To Me It's Just Another Thing I Have to Clean

Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh... No...
Dude: Seriously? To me that's like... like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, 'I'm going to tip that shit over.'

Eugene, Oregon


Categories: Girls | Gripes | Guys | Masturbation | Oregon | Time Management | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Dude, Where's My Dick

Dude: No way, man! That sucks!
Friend: I know, right?
Dude: That sucks!
Friend: It gets worse -- so, we were in JoAnn Fabrics for two more hours...

Moscow, Idaho


Categories: Gripes | Guys | Idaho | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Definitely a Man

Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?

Outside Beaver [all girl's dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio


Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla


Categories: Colleges & Universities | Gossip | Guys | Ohio | Time Management | Virginity | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And I Don't Have to Pay for Everything

Mom to 10-year-old son: I can't wait until you're 21 so that you can buy us beers.

T-Bones baseball game
Kansas City, Kansas


Overheard by: Teri


Categories: Drinking & drunks | Kansas | Moms | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Me, Too!

Girl on street: I like your hat!
Man on bike: Thank you!
Girl on street: I was just kidding!

Shout-out: www.overheardquote.com


Categories: Insults | Overheard Quote | Strangers | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

From Now On, I Leave the Octopus in the Tank

Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt...

Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com


Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard at Stanford | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It Didn't Work Out

Worried junior: Oh my god, Betty, we are totally not sitting in the loser section today. Today we are going to be cool.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: inthecoolsection


Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Pride | Students | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But Use a Condom, Or He'll Deconstruct Your Penis

Girl: Have you read Derrida?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Derrida! If you're going to go to France and get laid, you've got to know who Derrida is.

Berkeley BART
California


Overheard by: Rhiannon Stone


Categories: Advice | California | Friends | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We're Gonna Win This Science Fair for Sure!

Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.

Austin, Texas


Categories: Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Sex | Shopping | Texas | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Can't Wait 'til They Go Up against Hillary's Flying Monkeys

Girl #1: How come the pigeons don't die when they hop on that third rail?
Girl #2: Because they're Dick Cheney's unholy army of the night.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: I'm glad I couldn't vote back then


Categories: Animals | Chicks | Illinois | Politics | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Fact That I Never Received Payment

Lesbo on cell: What part of 'You're a dirty whore I wish I'd never fucked' do you not understand?!

Austin, Texas


Categories: Insults | Lesbos | Texas | Posted 2007-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Or It Could Just Be the Alcohol Affecting My Balance

Drunk girl #1: I totally feel like there's going to be an earthquake any day now.
Drunk girl #2: I know, this is totally earthquake weather.

Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: made my next round a double


Categories: California | Drunks | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And What Gets It Out of Silk?

Hot chick: What the hell is egg nog?

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

Overheard by: eston


Categories: Chicks | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Questions | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Okay, So There's No Neurological Damage

Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: ... A car.

Delaware

Overheard by: Chey


Categories: Delaware | Gossip | Idiots | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's Not Funny-Haha...

Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn't it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine -- dead squirrels everywhere.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous


Categories: Animals | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Yup! How's Your Vaginal Discharge?

Girl to guy friend: So, is your ball sack sweaty like yesterday?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: K.


Categories: Friends | Questions | Washington | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Or at Least on the Photos We'll Be Passing Out

Hot chick to another: You look so good! Guys will be jerking off on you tonight!

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: Ladle


Categories: Compliments | Friends | San Francisco | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Accidentally Called Garfield "Magical Mr. Mistoffelees" the Other Day

Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can't keep them all straight!

301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California


Categories: California | Creepsters | Internet | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Would You Care for a Valium?

Obsessive girl: Who do you think would win between a pig and a bat? I think a bat would win!

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com


Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at McGill | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

High School Cafeteria Goes Up in Flames, Population Scientists Say, "Excellent!"

Chick: Look, if you're out sniper-ing hobos, it's not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it's population control.

High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Couples | Philosophy | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And This Is a... Bad Thing?

Man: I feel it more in my shoulders than in my colon.
Woman: I don't feel it in my colon either!

Shout-out: overheardinjxn.blogspot.com


Categories: Couples | Gossip | Overheard in Jackson | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Know, with the Caverns

Teacher: Alright, how many of you have been to a national park?
Student #1: I've been to Yellowstone.
Teacher: Okay, good. Anyone else?
Bimbette: Oh, I've been to Central Park.
Student #2: That isn't near anything that has any geographical importance.
Bimbette: Yeah, it does. It's in Pennsylvania. Duh.

Oklahoma

Overheard by: lauren.


Categories: Bimbettes | Oklahoma | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Give or Take

Confused customer: So, how much is this 30-cent gum?
Employee: Um, 25 cents.

Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com


Categories: Idiots | Overheard At The Mecca | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'll Still Love You, Even with the Scars

Guy to girlfriend: I wasn't rooting for you. I was rooting for the hyenas.

Monterey, California

Overheard by: me too


Categories: California | Couples | Insults | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Over Easy

Guy #1, about super tan waitress: Wow, she's well done. I prefer medium-well.
Guy #2: Yeah, me, too. I like a little pink.

Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: evh


Categories: Beauty | Guys | Nebraska | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But It's a Miracle Diet

Chick: I was just in the bathroom trying to throw up, and I just can't do it! I just gag. A penis can make me throw up, but my own two fingers cant... I hate giving blowjobs.

Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey


Overheard by: BTON


Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Gripes | Hands | Health & Hygiene | New Jersey | Penis | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Is a Frilly Lace Thong Too Much to Ask?

Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!

Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina


Overheard by: Bryan


Categories: Kids | North Carolina | Undies | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Better to... Ah, Fuck It.

Black guy kissing his girlfriend, looking into her eyes: Mmm... Your vagina's so juicy.

Leaning on a school bus
Alabama


Overheard by: Joe


Categories: Alabama | Couples | Vagina | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Dressing Will Lube My Inner Thighs for the Next Long Ride

Sad dude: The great thing about being a bike courier is that my muscles no longer respond to commands unrelated to bicycling. For instance, I just spilled a Caesar salad all over my pants.

Shout-out: www.overheardquote.com


Categories: Guys | Jobs & Careers | Overheard Quote | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Solid, Liquid, or Gas?

Kid: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: It's not too late, is it?
Kid: No, I just let out a little stinker.

Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com


Categories: Moms | Overheard in Lake County | Poop | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Also, Dead Horses

Girl #1: Ewww, that tastes like glue! I mean, I imagine if I knew what glue tasted like, it would taste like that.
Girl #2: You know what tastes like glue? Rice noodles.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: scott


Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Use the Other End

Drunk hetero: You're gay, he's gay, so what's the problem?
Drunk queer: He just threw up all over himself.
Drunk hetero: You take what you can get.

The White Front Bar
Philipsburg, Montana


Categories: Cleanliness | Drunks | Montana | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So He Sends Other Stones to Fight in Iraq

Bitter guy: Men and women are like stones in a river that lived next to each other for a long time... But one of the stones is a stupid confused idiot who doesn't ever want to be happy or for any stones anywhere to be freaking happy.

Eugene, Oregon


Categories: Gripes | Grumpies | Oregon | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ours Has Mange

Chick #1: Were you the one that just put Fun-Fur-All over her living room ceiling?
Chick #2: Not recently. Why?

Commercial Drive
Vancouver
Canadia


Overheard by: Vangirl


Categories: Canadia | Clients | Gossip | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Carrying around a Dead Cat Also Works

Guy: Have you ever wanted to just die for a day, just so people would leave you alone?

Ursinus College
Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Andrew Nagy


Categories: Grumpies | Pennsylvania | Questions | Posted 2007-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Inhale, and Then Ask Me Again

Bimbette #1: This is in good shape considering it was under six feet of water.
Bimbette #2: It's not still underwater, is it?

New Orleans, Louisiana


Categories: Bimbettes | Louisiana | Questions | Posted 2007-08-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Touring Production of Hairspray

Girl #1: I'm really scared right now! What are they doing? They're going to break into some sort of big orgy any second!
Girl #2: It looks like some sort of weird sacrificial dance!
Girl #3: Yeah, like they're getting ready to sacrifice a lamb!
Girl #2: Or a virgin!
Girl #1: Can they stop?! They're giving me goosebumps! What are they doing?! Stop!

Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com


Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard in Sydney | Posted 2007-08-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

With the Lawnmower

Woman #1, wearing an arm cast: Yeah, so my husband broke his hand now, too.
Woman #2: How'd he do that?
Woman #1: I ran it over with my car.
Woman #2: Why?!
Woman #1: Well, he ran mine over first!
Woman #2: I guess I can see that as a good reason...

Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com


Categories: Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Overheard in Lake County | Posted 2007-08-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Knew I Should Have Signed Up for Praying Mantis Kung Fu!

Sorostitute #1: You can't fail gym!
Sorostitute #2: Um, yes you can. I have a 'U' on my transcript in Swedish massage and yoga.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: rv


Categories: Bimbettes | Education | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

This Calls for Our Complimentary "Maternity" Shot

Bartender to woman with two drinks: Double-fisting it tonight? You must be really thirsty.
Woman, patting stomach: Well, I'm drinking for two.
Bartender, excited: Congratulations!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Emma


Categories: Bartenders | California | Drinking & drunks | Posted 2007-08-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Volcano Erupts Once a Month, Though

Lab-mate #1, looking at pictures: Wouldn't that be great if it really existed?
Lab-mate #2: Definitely.
Lab-mate #1: Then people could say, 'Where you going?' and I'd say, 'I'm going to Pussy Mountain.'

Boston, Massachusetts