20-ish girl: Wait... Is it the Specific Ocean or the Pacific Ocean?
Sarasota, Florida
Student: I decided to be a speech communication major because I like to talk a lot, and I wanted to find a way where I could get a job that makes me a lot of money for using my mouth.
San Francisco State University
California
Girl: Slower, and harder. Down!
Guy: You're very patient.
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Harried mom pushing stroller and toting three minions: Do you wanna see the llamas? We're gonna see the llamas! Don't you wanna see the llamas?!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Stoned guy: Don't beat me up! I don't want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh... No...
Dude: Seriously? To me that's like... like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, 'I'm going to tip that shit over.'
Eugene, Oregon
Dude: No way, man! That sucks!
Friend: I know, right?
Dude: That sucks!
Friend: It gets worse -- so, we were in JoAnn Fabrics for two more hours...
Moscow, Idaho
Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?
Outside Beaver [all girl's dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio
Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla
Mom to 10-year-old son: I can't wait until you're 21 so that you can buy us beers.
T-Bones baseball game
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Teri
Girl on street: I like your hat!
Man on bike: Thank you!
Girl on street: I was just kidding!
Shout-out: www.overheardquote.com
Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt...
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Worried junior: Oh my god, Betty, we are totally not sitting in the loser section today. Today we are going to be cool.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: inthecoolsection
Girl: Have you read Derrida?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Derrida! If you're going to go to France and get laid, you've got to know who Derrida is.
Berkeley BART
California
Overheard by: Rhiannon Stone
Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.
Austin, Texas
Girl #1: How come the pigeons don't die when they hop on that third rail?
Girl #2: Because they're Dick Cheney's unholy army of the night.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I'm glad I couldn't vote back then
Lesbo on cell: What part of 'You're a dirty whore I wish I'd never fucked' do you not understand?!
Austin, Texas
Drunk girl #1: I totally feel like there's going to be an earthquake any day now.
Drunk girl #2: I know, this is totally earthquake weather.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: made my next round a double
Hot chick: What the hell is egg nog?
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: eston
Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: ... A car.
Delaware
Overheard by: Chey
Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn't it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine -- dead squirrels everywhere.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Girl to guy friend: So, is your ball sack sweaty like yesterday?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: K.
Hot chick to another: You look so good! Guys will be jerking off on you tonight!
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can't keep them all straight!
301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California
Obsessive girl: Who do you think would win between a pig and a bat? I think a bat would win!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Chick: Look, if you're out sniper-ing hobos, it's not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it's population control.
High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado
Man: I feel it more in my shoulders than in my colon.
Woman: I don't feel it in my colon either!
Shout-out: overheardinjxn.blogspot.com
Teacher: Alright, how many of you have been to a national park?
Student #1: I've been to Yellowstone.
Teacher: Okay, good. Anyone else?
Bimbette: Oh, I've been to Central Park.
Student #2: That isn't near anything that has any geographical importance.
Bimbette: Yeah, it does. It's in Pennsylvania. Duh.
Oklahoma
Overheard by: lauren.
Confused customer: So, how much is this 30-cent gum?
Employee: Um, 25 cents.
Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com
Guy to girlfriend: I wasn't rooting for you. I was rooting for the hyenas.
Monterey, California
Overheard by: me too
Guy #1, about super tan waitress: Wow, she's well done. I prefer medium-well.
Guy #2: Yeah, me, too. I like a little pink.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: evh
Chick: I was just in the bathroom trying to throw up, and I just can't do it! I just gag. A penis can make me throw up, but my own two fingers cant... I hate giving blowjobs.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: BTON
Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!
Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bryan
Black guy kissing his girlfriend, looking into her eyes: Mmm... Your vagina's so juicy.
Leaning on a school bus
Alabama
Overheard by: Joe
Sad dude: The great thing about being a bike courier is that my muscles no longer respond to commands unrelated to bicycling. For instance, I just spilled a Caesar salad all over my pants.
Shout-out: www.overheardquote.com
Kid: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: It's not too late, is it?
Kid: No, I just let out a little stinker.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Girl #1: Ewww, that tastes like glue! I mean, I imagine if I knew what glue tasted like, it would taste like that.
Girl #2: You know what tastes like glue? Rice noodles.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: scott
Drunk hetero: You're gay, he's gay, so what's the problem?
Drunk queer: He just threw up all over himself.
Drunk hetero: You take what you can get.
The White Front Bar
Philipsburg, Montana
Bitter guy: Men and women are like stones in a river that lived next to each other for a long time... But one of the stones is a stupid confused idiot who doesn't ever want to be happy or for any stones anywhere to be freaking happy.
Eugene, Oregon
Chick #1: Were you the one that just put Fun-Fur-All over her living room ceiling?
Chick #2: Not recently. Why?
Commercial Drive
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Vangirl
Guy: Have you ever wanted to just die for a day, just so people would leave you alone?
Ursinus College
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Andrew Nagy
Bimbette #1: This is in good shape considering it was under six feet of water.
Bimbette #2: It's not still underwater, is it?
New Orleans, Louisiana
Girl #1: I'm really scared right now! What are they doing? They're going to break into some sort of big orgy any second!
Girl #2: It looks like some sort of weird sacrificial dance!
Girl #3: Yeah, like they're getting ready to sacrifice a lamb!
Girl #2: Or a virgin!
Girl #1: Can they stop?! They're giving me goosebumps! What are they doing?! Stop!
Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com
Woman #1, wearing an arm cast: Yeah, so my husband broke his hand now, too.
Woman #2: How'd he do that?
Woman #1: I ran it over with my car.
Woman #2: Why?!
Woman #1: Well, he ran mine over first!
Woman #2: I guess I can see that as a good reason...
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Sorostitute #1: You can't fail gym!
Sorostitute #2: Um, yes you can. I have a 'U' on my transcript in Swedish massage and yoga.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Bartender to woman with two drinks: Double-fisting it tonight? You must be really thirsty.
Woman, patting stomach: Well, I'm drinking for two.
Bartender, excited: Congratulations!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Emma
Lab-mate #1, looking at pictures: Wouldn't that be great if it really existed?
Lab-mate #2: Definitely.
Lab-mate #1: Then people could say, 'Where you going?' and I'd say, 'I'm going to Pussy Mountain.'
Boston, Massachusetts