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Maybe You Could Throw a Few of Those Stalkers My Way?
Girl #1: I hate being stalked over Facebook. They're also creepy guys that I'm not interested in. They are just wasting their time and mine.
Girl #2: It can't be that bad, can it?
Girl #1: You don't understand -- you're not pretty like me.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kolby
Categories: Biotechs | Gripes | Insults | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Complexion, Teeth... Is There Anything Spunk Can't Do?
Sorostitute: I hear seminal fluid makes your teeth whiter.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Thought There Were Only Two Holes
Man to another: Remember when we first started? We swung both ways.
Shout-out: www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bp
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in Inchtown | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Psh, What Fun Would That Be?
Girl to stupid friend: If you're going to lie, check your geography first.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: stephanie
Categories: Advice | Friends | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Got a Creme Brulee in the Oven, Motherfucker
Thug to pit bull on leash: What time are you gonna shit? ... No, seriously, what time?
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jchill
Categories: Massachusetts | Poop | Questions | Thugs | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Raise Your Hand If You'd Like More Information
Chick: Apparently, I spout cooter.
El Cajon, California
Overheard by: RizzleBizzle
Categories: California | Chicks | Gossip | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Your Country
Charity guy: Hello there. I'm Australian, and I'm giving out free hugs.
Girl: Okay then [hugs him].
Charity guy: What about your friends here?
Girl: Oh, they're German. They don't want hugs.
Redhill
Surrey
England
Nah, It's Something to Tell the Kid When He Gives You Lip
Dude to chick: But seriously, aren't you afraid that when you give birth you're going to shit yourself?
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Friends | Overheard at McGill | Questions | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Speaker Pelosi Has Finally Had It
Designer suit on cell: No, dude, I talked to her. She's definitely going to call the cops on us.
Kentucky
Do You Tuck? I Tuck.
Confused girl to another: You're a man-whore? I'm a man-whore, too!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bragging | Hoochies | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Drink Some of Each and Find Out
Dude: Wait, so is the stronger acid HCl or H2O?
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: Guys | Overheard at Stanford | Questions | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No, It's Not because I Couldn't Contact You, It's because That Would Mean You Were Cool
Guy #1: Oh, sorry, man. I forgot to tell you about it... If you were on Facebook, I would have invited you.
Guy #2, pissed: ... I live two doors down from you!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Canadia | Gripes | Guys | Overheard at McGill | Students | Technology | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pat's Her Dustbuster
Sorority chick #1: Pat* and I hooked up last night, and now I have a hickey...
Sorority chick #2: What is he, in junior high? I didn't know people still did that.
Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Overheard by: Evie
Categories: Gossip | New York | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
According to This Fortune Cookie
Extremely drunk man: You know, I don't think prime numbers are going to introduce us to aliens... But I think Chuck Berry will.
The Old Hole
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: E
Rather Distracted the Rest of Us
Male student: Yeah, that's what you get when all the assignments aren't due 'til the end of the semester.
Female student: I know, right? I totally just jacked off in that class.
Goshen College
Indiana
Overheard by: Marianne
Although Now I'm Seeing Pink Bears Holding Hands and Chanting
Old lady: Do you want to drive?
Old hubby: I guess so. My eyes aren't quite as blurry as they were.
Cadillac, Michigan
Overheard by: mags
Categories: Couples | Health & Hygiene | Michigan | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Good Thing You Love My Dangling Participle
Blonde: Oh, I've heard of that restaurant! Where is it at?
Boyfriend: No, 'where is it'?
Blonde: No, that's what I'm asking you! Where's it at?
Boyfriend, shaking head and sighing: It's by the mall. This is ridiculous.
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Cringing English major
Sunday School Daycare?
20-ish girl: Where do you think is the best place to get molested?
Friend: Daycare?
Montana
But More Expensive
Guy: You guys should get her a vibrator for her birthday.
Girl #1: Or we could just find her a man...
Girl #2: Nah... I think buying a vibrator would be easier.
Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com
Categories: Friends | Overheard in Sydney | Toys | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except That Living in Italy Could Be a Good Thing
Frat guy: You ever been to the Franklin Mills Mall?
Bimbette: No! I live in King of Prussia! If I left King of Prussia to go to any other mall, it'd be like leaving Italy to eat at an Olive Garden. No!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: impressed, she has a point
Categories: Bimbettes | Frat boy types | Gripes | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fuck Your Way to a Positive Body Image
Teen: I used to think I was fat, but then I realized I wouldn't have had sex with five guys if I was fat. No one wants to have sex with a fat girl.
Wendy's
New Jersey
Overheard by: BTON
Categories: Diet & weight | New Jersey | Sex | Teens | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Too Bad, He Was Such a Great Guy
Jock: Wait... Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that's over.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
When the Religious Right Goes Too Far
Teen #1: Did you know tumors can sometimes grow hair and teeth?
Teen #2, stunned: Um, those aren't tumors. Th-those are babies.
Wild Thyme Restaurant
Queenstown
New Zealand
Categories: Body parts | New Zealand | Teens | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Can Always Count on You, Mom
Girl on cell: Did you write it on my Facebook? Was it perverted or mean? Yeah? Good.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Internet | On the phone | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, What about McDonald's?
Father looking at sign: Look! You could work here when you start school.
Son: Why would I want to work here? They can't even spell 'prerequisite' right.
Father: That's because it's per-quisite.
Ohio
Overheard by: glad to be sharing a school with this kid
Have You Been Watching FOX Again?
Eight-year-old girl: Asians are ruining everything.
Mother: What?
Eight-year-old girl: Yeah, the Japanese, the Chinese -- they ruin everything.
Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Moms | Race | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Outliving and Outperforming Me and Whatnot
Brat: There's no real chocolate bars in this vending machine. Stupid healthy people!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Gripes | Grumpies | Overheard at York | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? Show Me.
Sorority girl #1: She's from Missouri.
Sorority girl #2: Missouri... Is it even civilized there?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: annoyedbutamusedtesttaker
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How to Say "I Love You" Like a Chicago Native
Man in t-shirt and jeans: Wait. Can I just be myself for one minute here? Can I?
Woman in classy cocktail dress: I don't know, can you?
Man in t-shirt and jeans: [Farts loudly.]
Halsted Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Categories: Burping & farting | Couples | Illinois | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Leave It to You, Dear Reader
Plumber, rubbing his fingers together: Hmmm. No, no, it's not water. It's something much, much worse.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Categories: Colorado | Employees | Health & Hygiene | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With the Possible Exception of the Half-Man-Half-Woman
Young guy: I know it's stereotypical for a guy to want a girl who's a freak in bed, but, really, it's just so nice.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Miracle Diet? A Coat Hanger.
Tween #1: I can't believe she called you fat!
Tween #2: Well, I am, but it's because we're freshman -- we haven't lost our baby fat yet.
Tween #1: Well, that's true for you. I'm just fat because I'm pregnant.
Tween #2: Yeah, that too.
Arlington High School
LaGrangeville, New York
Overheard by: draz
Categories: Diet & weight | New York | Pregnancy | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teens | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Roll My Own
Woman: You can't lay a guilt trip on me! I was raised Catholic!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Grumpies | Overheard in California's Journal | Religion | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Quite The Contrary
Hoochie to another: Just because you're a slut doesn't mean you have dibbs!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle
Categories: Hoochies | Oregon | Philosophy | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Vatican Website Has a List of Who It's Okay to Hate
Kid #1: Man, you always say that word when you're drunk.
Kid #2: Yeah, I know. I need to stop watching that Michael Richards video.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Kids | Overheard at Loyola | Words | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So She's Preparing for a Disaster?
Dude: She totally sandbags! You know she sandbags?!
Chick: Like there's a hurricane.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pineapple
Categories: Friends | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Asian Pre-Schools Are Tough
Punk gesticulating wildly to friends: Unlike Europeans, they have to earn their souls... And they never do, man, they never do!
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: wtf?!
Categories: Gossip | Idiots | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That's How We Got Kicked Out of March of the Penguins
Nerd: She was like, 'That's so cute!' and then I came all over her face!
Baylor University
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: kindaDisgusted
Categories: Cum | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Gossip | Texas | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not Everybody Likes Puppies
Chick #1, fawning over little pup: Oh my god, he is sooo adorable. Hellooo! Hellooo there, little guy! Awww, so cute. [She and her friend walk away.]
Chick #2: Oh, he was so cute! I wish I could have one.
Chick #1: I wish I could have stepped on the little thing and squished its little head.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Overheard at McGill | Violence | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Probably Phallucinating
Lone woman at bar, to no one: This is not what I call penis enlargement.
Florian bar
Berlin
Germany
Overheard by: And I used to go out with her
Sonic's Too Spiky
Dork #1: Yeah, but Super Mario had the princess...
Dork #2: I'd rather fuck the squirrel [in Sonic] than that square-ass bitch!
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: thomas
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Overheard in College Park | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except by Individual Arrangement
Conductor: I don't wee in your house, so you don't wee in my station.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Conductors | Etiquette | Overheard in London's Journal | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Toothpick in My Buttcrack" Zooms to the Top of the Billboard Hot 100
Sister: Daniel, stop!
Brother: What is he doing?
Sister: He shoved a toothpick in my buttcrack... I hope I don't get a splinter!
Shout-out: www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hm
Categories: Kink | Overheard in Inchtown | Siblings | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Homosexual Panic Strikes Edward without Warning
Guy bidding farewell to pals: You guys take care of yourselves in the car... I didn't mean that like it came out.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mike
Categories: Advice | Guys | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Has This Funny Little Moustache...
Skinny blonde: So, yeah, my mom is dating this new guy who's just kind of awkward and nerdy and, well, he's just really bad at socialism.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Molly and Katy
Categories: California | Chicks | Gossip | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Survive, It Starts Tilting the Other Way in Your 30s
Teen girl #1: Isn't that, like, dangerous?
Teen girl #2: Well, yeah, but I'm at the point in my life where getting wasted is more important than not dying.
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts