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It's Always Time For A Drum Circle
Crunchy hippie: We were on the way to the bee colony to harvest some honey, but then I thought, Dude! It's time for a drum circle.
House of Musical Traditions
Takoma Park, Maryland
The Former.
Man to friend: I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wanted a present for Valentine's Day and I didn't get her one, or the fact that I didn't want a present for my birthday and she got me one.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: you really don't know?
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Among Us Hasn't Considered It?
Girl, about sister's boyfriends: That was Bob* -- he wanted to marry her.
Guy: Bob was kinda creepy.
Girl: Bob was not creepy! He had a job.
Guy: If that's your only qualification for 'not creepy'--
Girl: --He just faked his own death. But he got it out of his system -- he won't do it again.
DMV
Virginia
Overheard by: much less bored now
Oh, in That Case I'd Be a Cheetah
Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night -- I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you're high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don't like birds.
Guy #3: I'd be a pterodactyl, dude.
Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Categories: Birds | Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | New York | Questions | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Clams.
Guy with hair down to waist and death metal t-shirt: I really enjoy eating animals that have the ability to eat humans.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: horrified zoo-enthusiast
Categories: Animals | Guys | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everybody Knows God's White and Has No Rhythm
Girl #1: Is that hail?
Girl #2, looking out window: No, it's just some guys stepping.
Girl #1: Oh. I was wondering why the hail had a beat.
Mississippi University for Women
Columbus, Mississippi
Categories: Bimbettes | Mississippi | Weather | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Black People: Yeah, We're Fine with That
Stressed undergrad: Yeah, I have to write a 25 page paper on my experiences with racial ideology.
Bimbette: Oh my god, I would just write a list of every time I talked to a black person... But I would never be able to get 25 pages.
overheardatnu.blogspot.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Northwestern | Race | Students | Posted 2007-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Subtle Distinction, but an Important One
Man: That's not love; that's getting drunk and waking up naked in a barn.
Boise, Idaho
Categories: Guys | Idaho | Philosophy | Posted 2007-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But at That Point I've Got Nothing to Lose!
Hobo to another: If that bitch is late, you gotta pull the dick out.
Wacker Drive and Lake Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: pulled out
See, Now I'm on Coke, and I Can Tell the Truth
Lady: When I was on morphine I told them I liked Pearl Jam. I hate Pearl Jam!
Eat 'N' Park
Sewickley, Pennsylvania
Categories: Gripes | Grumpies | Music | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Is, a Little Less Every Year
Native girl #1: Fuck you.
Native girl #2, annoyed: You piss me off to my titties.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: pissed off
David Is a Fully-Functional Dildo As Well
Carpool driver, noticing woman at bus stop: She has art between her legs.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: b!X
Categories: Gossip | Overheard in PDX | Strangers | Posted 2007-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Going to Have to Regrade Your Test
Student: Man! Question number four on that exam? The one about chickens was so hard... It took me forever.
Teacher: Well, it seemed tricky, but the problem was really pretty straightforward. It just involved birds instead of mammals.
Student: ... Chickens are birds?
Bloomington, Indiana
It's Not Consent Per Se...
Builder to another during break: Mate, I tell you -- that fish was happy.
Dalston
London
England
Categories: Animals | Creepsters | England | Posted 2007-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might As Well Go Back to Sleep at That Point
Lady suit #1: I mean, can you imagine waking up one day to find out that you're six months pregnant?
Lady suit #2: Seven months.
Lady suit #1: Seven months?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: jfa
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Suits | Posted 2007-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Her Work Can and Will Be Used Against Her
Dude whining about a girl: That's how she does it, man. That's her opus miranda.
Spadina street car
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Fuel
The Best I Can Do Is Some Croutons and a Spanking
Drunk girl: I hope I get my ass kicked for eating this salad!
Houston, Texas
Thereby Creating a Paradox
Girl to guy : Stop raping my bellybutton! If I wanted you to rape it, I'd let you!
Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Weirdos of Winnipeg | Posted 2007-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Was All Good Except for Shitting in a Box
Girl on cell: Guess what? I got to be the big yellow cat again yesterday!
Hornsby train
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Australia | Bragging | On the phone | Posted 2007-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Can Sense Deities and Terminators
Daughter: What's the dog barking at?
Mother: Jesus.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: smellmyknee
You're Not Still Pregnant?
Enthusiastic lady: Oh, you must be having a boy!
Very preggers: Uh, no... It's actually a girl.
Enthusiastic lady: Really? Because your face has changed!
Very preggers: What do you mean?
Enthusiastic lady: Oh, you know, it just looks bad. I was ugly, too, when I was pregnant with my son.
Clinic waiting room
San Francisco, California
Categories: Insults | Preggers | San Francisco | Strangers | Posted 2007-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Email Me the Instant Replay or the Wedding's Off
Man on cell: I just need to know that he didn't cum in your mouth!
South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amelia
Categories: Cum | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Flashbacks Go, Anyway
White dreadlocked hippie: ... And I was totally like, [punches fist into air] 'Thank you, Grandfather Salmon! That was awesome!'
St. Lawrence Market
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
And before Subtitles
Blonde #1: Did you see Marie Antoinette?
Blonde #2: Yeah.
Blonde #1: I don't get why they're all speaking English if they're in France.
Blonde #2: I think that was before they invented French.
Blockbuster
Orlando, Florida
But She Spent It, So Can We Move On?
Drunken bimbette: First of all, Francesca feels really bad about taking my dad's money when he was in a coma...
Sinbad's
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: another margarita, please!
Categories: Bimbettes | California | Drunks | Gossip | Posted 2007-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Just Too Lazy to Do It Right Now
Girl yelling out window to friend: Bitch! I am the motherfuckin' bishop Don Juan of proving points!
Colfax bus
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: lauren
The Question Is, How Is It Not?
Student #1: I don't know what people are going on about. To me, 'fuzzy logic' and 'rough sets' are basically the same.
Student #2: How is fuzzy logic anything like rough sex?
University of Pretoria
South Africa
Overheard by: Daniel
Categories: Africa | Colleges & Universities | Students | Words | Posted 2007-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Top Secret DoD Pheromone Project
Creepster: ... And that's why all the women in Paris wanted to stroke my head.
Koko
York
UK
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: Creepsters | Gossip | UK | Posted 2007-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Remember the Safe Word This Time, I Swear!
Little boy: No! But Daddy, I want you to spank me!
Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Glad the condom broke | Gripes | Posted 2007-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Will I Get My Damage Deposit Back?
Asian native to man with whom she's holding hands: How do I replace you?
Spain
Overheard by: emily
Or You Could Finish College and Get a Job
Rollerblading guy #1: ... And that's when I'll finally know that I'm successful... When I'm sitting on my throne of skulls.
Rollerblading guy #2: Uhhh... Sure, man.
Church and Shuter Streets
Toronto
Canadia
Monkeyholism's Gonna Be the Next Big Zoo Scandal
Little girl, regarding orangutan holding his head like he has a headache: Why is he doing that, Mommy?
Mom: Because he had too many Daddy juices.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I love hilarious reminders of our dysfunctional society
Categories: Kids | Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2007-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay, So I Can't Date This Guy Either
Dude: Man, it's just that some people got what 1992 was all about and some people didn't. I'm one of the ones that got it, and she's not, so no, we're not going out again.
Shout-out: overheardinjxn.blogspot.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in Jackson | Posted 2007-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes, You Want the Long Version
Guy: So, she and her boyfriend got really drunk and, long story short, she now has to use a colostomy bag for the rest of her life.
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
He'll Be Back.
Jewish girl: I think I like Josh. What do you think of him?
Jewish guy: I don't like him. He's annoying. And he's a Jew.
Jewish girl: What do you mean 'And he's a Jew'? You're a Jew!
Jewish guy: No.
Jewish girl: Yes...
Jewish guy: No, I quit.
Santa Cruz, California
Categories: California | Jews | Religion | Posted 2007-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's a Thin Line between Noun and Hate
Sunday school instructor: Hate is a very, very strong adjective.
Donkey Coffee
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Lisa
Wait, No, She's Just Really Tan! Oh My God!
Passerby: Oh my god! Look at that woman's outfi-- Oh, never mind. She's ethnic, it's okay.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Lie Back on Your Hands and Hold Still!
Girl on cell: He had stubby fingers. Little stubby butcher's fingers. You wouldn't want to feel those caressing your body... He was a good lay, though.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Hands | On the phone | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Question Is, How Did You Find Out, and Why Do You Care?
Dazed guy: I didn't know leg hair could get split ends.
Great Mall
Milpitas, California
Categories: California | Guys | Hair | Posted 2007-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ma'am, You've Got Two All-Beef Patties There
Overeager mother: Sometimes when my boobies sweat, they smell like Big Macs.
McDonald's
Madison, Indiana
Categories: Indiana | McDonald's | Moms | Rack | Posted 2007-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wouldn't Want Him to Get Burnt to a Crisp by Sunlight
Pretty goth chick: Do you think if I call him up and ask him to come over and watch porn and fuck, he'll come?
Queer friend: Probably, but only if you call after 10. It's six -- wait until dark.
Pretty goth chick: Yeah, you're right.
Shout-out: overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Friends | Overheard in Los Angeles | Posted 2007-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We've Scheduled an Intervention for Saturday
Woman #1: So... How's your daughter?
Woman #2: She's growing up to be a New Yorker.
Trident Coffee Shop, 940 Pearl Street
Boulder, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Posted 2007-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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