Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
You Might Want to Cite Sketchy v. State of Kansas, for One Thing
Professor: Well, Miss Two-L, I am going to need a better legal argument than, 'It seems really shady,' but that's a good start.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kks
Categories: Education | Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Did Get a Call-Back for Cirque du Soleil
Dude #1: I pulled a muscle.
Dude #2, after short pause: How?
Dude #1: Have you ever tried to fuck yourself? It's really hard! I did and pulled a muscle.
Hampden Academy
Maine
Overheard by: Last final
Categories: Getting off | Idiots | Maine | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
First It Was Stalling and Sputtering, and Now... Nothing
Loud girl in outdoor bar: My vagina's not working tonight.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: katie
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Vagina | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Those Who Think It Tragic That White Birthrates Are Dropping
Old frat boy #1: Yeah, dude, I really need to get my stuff together. I've already graduated college and I still live like I'm in college.
Old frat boy #2: Yeah, don't mess around and end up like Mike* -- he's about to have a second kid. Both of them were mistakes.
Old frat boy #1: Yeah, I always make the girls I have sex with stand on their heads after. I'm so glad that urban legend is true.
Old frat boy #2: Haha, yeah, I always make the girls I hook up with do post-coital jumping jacks.
Metrobus
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Tyler
Categories: Frat boy types | Gossip | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Show You How to Kick-Start It
Sad girl: My mom totally jacked my vibrator.
Friend: That sucks! I can lend you mine, if you want.
Queen's University
Canadia
And You're Not Even Drunk!
Whitey thug: I can't listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!
Gas station
North Carolina
Overheard by: KommissarKrunch
Categories: North Carolina | Whiteys | Words | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Not William Hung?
Bimbette, as Dalai Lama approaches podium: He's supposed to be the reincarnation of, like, God or whatever.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Stupidity | Posted 2007-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Would, Too, If It Wasn't Attached
Bellhop #1: Oops... Almost forgot to bring my blueberry and honey-flavored tea!
Bellhop #2: Don't forget your vagina.
The Cliff House
Manitou Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: AR
I Got It Wholesale from a Can of Crabmeat That Was Left in the Sun
Guy on cell: I got a face full of botulism! Look at me -- I'm sexy!
New Jersey
Categories: Maladies | New Jersey | On the phone | Posted 2007-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only on the Surface
Boy, while AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" plays: Is this song about bacon?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Her Slang for Using Monistat
Teen girl exiting train: Bye! I'll call you after I drug the cat!
Shout-out: pinup.punkrockelite.org
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Did He Use a Condom?
Sweaty black girl #1, checking self out in mirror: Finally, my upper arms don't look so arm-y!
Sweaty black girl #2, lifting weights: Yeah, but your coochie still smells all marine.
YMCA
Virginia
Overheard by: jimmycity
Toss It Out the Window of a Moving Car
Mother: If a man ever hurts you, spit in his face, then cut his dick off and hand it to his mama.
Nine-year-old daughter: What if it's my brother?
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: rideabike
Best Tofu, Though
Whiny girl: Oh my god, that chicken is terrible!
Hipster chick: That's because it's tofu.
Whiny girl: Yeah, worst chicken ever.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sarafist
Categories: Food | Hipsters | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rubble Rubble?
Man, giggling: Hey, guys...
Friend: For the last time, Jeff, if it's about the Hamburglar, we don't want to hear it.
Galaxy Cinema
Nanaimo, British Columbia
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Friends | Pop culture | Posted 2007-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Be Ready to Fly the Plane in a Pinch
Pilot: Sit back and relax! We'll be in Indy in about an hour and 55 minutes. [Mic clicks off, then back on.] Uh... We'll be in Boston. You know where you're going.
US Airways flight
Indianapolis to Boston
Overheard by: Anna Mousey
Should Have Stayed
Chick #1: ... And then when you woke up you were naked in Las Vegas?
Chick #2: Exactly.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
I'm Going Back to the Isle of Women
Lesbian: People eat testicles here, too?!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: orly
Categories: Balls | Food | Lesbos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Tuition Payments after High School
Old Jewish lady: ... And what do you want to be when you grow up?
Six-year-old girl: A shampoo girl.
Four-year-old boy: A hooker!
Mother, smoking: I like it when they have low expectations about life.
São Paulo
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Jobs & Careers | Moms | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Kicked Out with Extreme Prejudice
Perky grad student: I got kicked out of vegetarianism for eating brains. I ate brains, I ate testicles, I ate stomachs... Stomachs are really gross.
Blacksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Amy
They Were Baffled, but Cooperative
Man: I remember how one Halloween we ran out of candy and had to start giving the kids tea bags.
Mafiaoza's
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: John Chapin
Same Office, Different Doors
Father to daughter: So, she owned a day care center. No wait, an abortion clinic.
South Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Dads | Jobs & Careers | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I've Developed Immunity
Grumbling student: ... But I've tooken so many Englishes before...!
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: McStupid
So Maybe a Woman President Would Be Okay
Lunching ladies to man nearby: Well, we're not crazy, and we have vaginas.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: paul
Categories: Ladies who lunch | Overheard in PDX | Vagina | Posted 2007-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Think I Should Put on Some Pants?
Drunk guy on cell: Hey, this is Eric*. Just calling to see how you were doing at three in the morning. [To chick passerby] Hey! I saw you tonight at the club!
Angry drunk chick: Get away from me!
Drunk guy on cell, into phone: What the fuck is up with every girl on campus thinking I want to rape them? Just because I'm drunk doesn't mean I'm a fucking pervert.
University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Caesar22
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drunks | Gripes | Missouri | Posted 2007-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Old Format or the New One?
Drunk girl, crawling on hands and knees: Don't judge me! I got a 1500 on my SATs!
overheardatnu.blogspot.com
Categories: Bragging | Drunks | Overheard at Northwestern | Posted 2007-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It's Dolphin, Dolphin, Dolphin, Every Damned Night!
Creepster: Given the choice, I'd rather eat a convict than a dolphin.
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Dumbfounded
Categories: Canadia | Creepsters | Food | Posted 2007-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Did I Ever Make Her My Happy Place?
Lonely grad student: I need to get to work so I can stop thinking about Janet Reno's naked body.
Court of Sciences, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Gripes | Students | Posted 2007-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Guys Can Be So Fake
Chick #1: I'm glad we're not dating anymore. He was tiring. He thought he was such a Don Juan, and I would have to pretend to be charmed by what he said.
Chick #2: Like, how do you mean?
Chick #1: Well, I told him that I thought sex should be special, and he comes back with the line, 'Every day is special with you, Olivia*.' I wanted to laugh in his face, but instead I was like, 'Oh, that's so sweet!'
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: they're smarter than I thought
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Has Changed Nothing Except the Smell
Hoochie: That's why I made my New Year's resolution not to vomit so much when I'm drunk. Now I do it when I'm sober.
University of Central Florida
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Petty
Say Bye-Bye to the '90s, Mom
Mom: But dear, you must like swing music. It's simply infectious!
Five-year-old daughter: Mom, I do not like swing music.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: I don't like swing music either
Categories: California | Kids | Moms | Music | Posted 2007-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Not Sure What to Bite Off First
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Actually, It's the Joker Disguised As Batman
Student, discussing artwork: ... And this represents my soul!
Teacher, squinting: Your soul is Batman?
Twelfth grade art class
Frankfurt
Germany
Overheard by: Giggling in the back row
Only to Put Himself Through School
Eleventh grade Health teacher: Sigmund Freud did a lot of studies on that.
Jock: Wait, he was the lion tamer, right?
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Overheard by: Siegfried & Roy
Categories: Jocks | New Jersey | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Apologize for Leaving My Pyrex in Your Dishwasher
Girl on cell: No, Mom, you don't understand! The sex toy party was a lot of fun! They just had some great stuff there, okay?
College bus
Allendale, Michigan
Categories: Gossip | Michigan | On the phone | Posted 2007-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Big Fish in a Little Pond
Scrawny Jewish boy: I went to Hebrew school for seven years. I can kick anyone's ass.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: smap
Categories: Jews | Overheard at Cornell | Threats | Posted 2007-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No, I Mean You Personally
Third-year student #1: So, I asked her if her husband still showed her affection, and she said, 'Yes, he brings me flowers.'
Third-year student #2: Sadly, that's not really the relevant question.
Third-year student #3: Seriously. The real question is, 'Are you getting head?'
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Overheard in Law School | Questions | Students | Posted 2007-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That Had Velcro Closures
Mom: Did you see how that girl was pulling that young man across the street? Maybe he was blind.
Daughter: I saw how she was dressed -- he wasn't blind. If he was blind she wouldn't be dressing so slutty. If I dated a blind guy I would wear clothes that were soft.
Louisville, Kentucky
And the Dogs Are Not Interested!
Hot drunk chick: That's why I can't sleep at night -- because people in Knoxville wanna fuck dogs!
Barley's Taproom and Pizzeria
North Carolina
Overheard by: Drunk Patron
Categories: Drunks | Gripes | North Carolina | Posted 2007-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Exactly What Princess Superstar Is Going For
Dude: I'm not saying I don't like this song, it's just that it always strikes me as the kind of song that people with Down Syndrome would dance to.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Megan Mama
Categories: California | Guys | Music | Posted 2007-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You All Signed Your PC Waivers
Professor: What song do you think represents your generation? Come on, it can be anything. It can be derogatory, it can call women hos -- I don't care.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: BTAN
Categories: Education | New Jersey | Teachers | Posted 2007-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Used Her Back As a TV Table
Drunk guy: Yes, and this is while he was having sex and eating at the same time!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: moogs
Categories: Drunks | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Read the Previous Week's Quotes!
