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Exactly Why I Like Being Her Friend
Biotech #1: God, is she being all depressed again?
Biotech #2: Yeah, you know how she is. She just needs a guy to pay attention to her.
Biotech #1: She just needs to stop being friends with girls who are hotter than she is.
Lawrence, Kansas
What with All of the Licensing Revenue
Teen chick: You know, as long as there wasn't an intergalactic war or anything, I think it would be really cool to be an Ewok.
High school
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: New Zealand | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2007-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Are You?
Old man #1: Oh my god! You're still alive?!
Old man #2: Well, yeah, ya old fuck!
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wendy GK
Categories: Death & dying | New Jersey | Old folks | Posted 2007-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks to the Mylar Diet
Queer #1: Is that pastrami? That was the best pastrami I've ever had.
Queer #2: Did you just ejaculate confetti?
Maryland and Euclid Avenue
St. Louis, Missouri
Hiding a Core of Transcendent Ignorance
Blonde: I'm only dumb on the outside!
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Bimbettes | Gossip | New Zealand | Posted 2007-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just because I Lead a Life of Vise
Sorostitute, excited: All my friends back at home have me on their phone as tool whore!
Governor's Square Mall
Tallahassee, Florida
Categories: Bragging | Florida | Sorority types | Posted 2007-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Draw the Line at Branding, Though
Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he's just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.
Wendy's
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Jon
Jimmy, If a Cow Got the Chance, He'd Eat You and Everyone You Care About
Guy #1: Hey, do you think that if animals could talk and were as smart as us, we would get along?
Guy #2: I think so... Actually, maybe not lions. They're pretty crazy.
Guy #1: Yeah, we'd probably have to lock up all the lions and bears.
Guy #2: Damn, bears. Almost forgot.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ryan
Categories: Animals | Guys | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Father Is by Far the Obvious Choice
Five-year-old girl to sister: Who would you rather kill -- Mummy or Daddy?
Mother: I don't want to hear you talking like that.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: disturbed
Categories: Moms | New Zealand | Questions | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We No Longer Want Your Business
Client on phone: That is neither non-intuitive nor non-obvious to a non-elitist.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jeff
Categories: On the phone | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Nobel Peace Prize for 2007 Goes To...
Bimbette: How are the African kids starving? Why don't they just... eat more?
Anchorage, Alaska
Shoes Last Longer, Unless We're Talking Sting or Payless
Hoochie: I understand that you're worried about me, but I have self-control.
Friend: Do you?
Hoochie: Buying a pair of shoes is different from fucking someone.
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Hoochies | New York | Shoes | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ummm... Yeah
Man: She's my soul mate. I just wish she was 20 years older and not my daughter.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: that's kinda creepy
Categories: Creepsters | Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't He a Character on Heroes?
Teen girl: Oh, I always thought Hiroshima was a person.
Criminalise War Conference
Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
The Back Half
Man on cell: Hang on, I'm coming with half of my pants!
Metro
Washington, DC
Categories: Clothing | On the phone | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Hail, Fellow! Well Met!"
College girl: I'm not weird. I just don't like hugs or blowjobs.
Hippie guy: I don't understand -- how do you greet people?
Rutgers University Student Center
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Categories: Hippies | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why You Should Avoid Talking to Your Kids
Son: Dad, how do people have sex with dogs?
Father, philosophical: Same reason people have sex with sheep... Or horses.
Son: Well, how do dogs get pregnant, then?
Father, quickly: Humans can't get dogs pregnant.
Son: But how do the dogs get pregnant from having sex in the ass?
Father, worried: Nobody can get pregnant from anal sex!
Son: Yeah! Doggy-style!
Father, nervous: Bitches get done in the vagina, which you can do from the back. Believe me, it's back there if you look for it. Dogs never do anal sex -- only people do that.
Son: Hmmm...
Bay area, California
Overheard by: I don't wanna look that hard
Categories: Animals | California | Dads | Sex | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Need a Day Planner!
Stressed friend: Hurry up!
Stoner: Wait, I just need to brush my teeth.
Stressed friend: Brush your teeth?! You're going to see your mom and then your dealer! You do not need to brush your teeth!
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: magnus
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Stoners | Sweden | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Vodka Is the Best Boyfriend I've Ever Had
20-ish girl on cell: I just think I need to work on mending our relationship. Maybe we need to go do a few shots and everything will be right with the world.
Bakery kiosk, O'Hare International Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Illinois | On the phone | Posted 2007-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Were Transported There in a Stagecoach with No Windows
Chick: You live on a farm? In New Hampshire?! I went to New Hampshire and I didn't think they had, like, farms!
Dude: Where did you go in New Hampshire?
Chick: PETCO.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Bimbettes | Massachusetts | Stupidity | Posted 2007-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In a Coonskin Cap
Chick #1, squinting at laptop: Is that a squirrel?
Chick #2: No. That's a penis.
Starbucks
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Awkward!
Categories: Animals | California | Chicks | Penis | Posted 2007-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Charming Belief Has a One-Week Half-Life
Mom: But, honey, it's important that you look nice when you go to school and that everything matches.
Six-year-old girl: Mom, it's not how I look that's important -- it's about my education.
Wethersfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: too cute!
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Glad the condom broke | Moms | Posted 2007-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Acquisitive
17-year-old boy: Geez, Angelina Jolie adopted another kid?
13-year-old boy: Why, how many does she have now?
17-year-old boy: I think, like, four.
13-year-old boy: Wow! She's fertile!
Alamogordo, New Mexico
Overheard by: DeeRock
Categories: About celebrities | New Mexico | Teens | Posted 2007-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Back Bay Kind
Girl #1: Fuck! I forgot the condoms!
Girl #2: What kind of party are we going to?
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Chicks | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2007-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, New Stockings, and a Clean Umbrella
Fag hag: So, I fell asleep when Jack* was stripping, and when I woke up Victor* was in pink stockings and doing something to my umbrella that I don't even want to think about. I really have to start having more straight friends.
Bar
São Paulo
Brazil
Hmmm.. Anything with Bacon?
Girl: What good vegetarian options do you have?
Waitress: Well, we have really good turkey burgers.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: Food | Pennsylvania | Servers | Posted 2007-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Important to Rule That Out First
Blonde: So, what's this play about?
Brunnette: It's the adult version of Peter Pan.
Blonde: You mean, like, porn?
Brunette: Uhhh, not exactly.
Showing of Peter and Wendy, Kreeger Theater
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Julius
Categories: Bimbettes | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Try to Remember What Went Where
Guy on phone: Yeah, I hate that. It's like when someone tells you he has AIDS after the fact.
Columbus Circle
New York, New York
Categories: Gripes | New York | On the phone | Posted 2007-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Necessity Is the Mother of Water-Bottle Bongs
Leader of group of nervous teens: Hey, do you sell rolling papers here... for tobacco?
Convenience store clerk: Sorry, man. We've only got ones for pot.
Noland Road
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: snickering customer behind them
Maybe It's Time to Invent Fig Leaves
Drunk frat boy: Shiiit, I'm God! I'm God, and I've seen so much asscrack!
Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island
Categories: Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Rhode Island | Posted 2007-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Make "Ladies' Weight" Guns, You Know
Drunk bimbette: We're s'posed to be so ladylike... Why do girls have to be so ghetto and stab each other all the time?
York University
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A and A
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Drunks | Questions | Violence | Posted 2007-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Totally Baked
Hot chick: That's the dude that was in my oven at three a.m.!
NJ Transit station
New Jersey
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | New Jersey | Posted 2007-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You'd Read Any Whorf, You'd Know What I Mean
Pretty lady: You say a lot of bad words. Some people say that happens when you don't have the intelligence to express your self otherwise.
College kid: That ain't the case with me. I got a fuckin' vocabulary, man. I just use words everyone understands, like 'shit' and 'fuck' and what-not, so I don't obfuscate my meaning.
Panama City, Panama
I Don't Want to Know Where the Dumplings Fit In
Chick #1: I'm telling her the dumpling story.
Chick #2: Which story? Oh, the one about how people get off on being peed on?
Chick #1: What?!
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Chicks | New Jersey | Pee | Posted 2007-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Secession of New York Is Just Wishful Thinking
Confused chick: Excuse me, sir, I don't know which line to go into... This says 'resident,' but I'm not from here -- I'm from New York.
Homeland Security agent: It's still this line.
O'Hare Airport immigration line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: amused traveller
Finally Got That Aerosmith Roadie Gig?
Roomie #1: I wonder what ever happened to James*. I mean, we haven't seen him since fifth grade. I hope he's not in a mental home or something -- him and his weird mom. Maybe he's finally doing what he's always wanted to do: work with dinosaurs.
Roomie #2: Yeah, or living with them.
Roomie #1: That is sooo true.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: i love dinosaurs
Categories: Gossip | New Jersey | Students | Posted 2007-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
April: Actually, I Was Boning Donatello
Chick #1: Have I ever told you how much I hate Sex and the City?
Chick #2: Yes.
Chick #1: I just think that if women are going to base their lives around a TV show, it should be a cooler one... like Ninja Turtles.
Chick #2: You're right.
Chick #1: April O'Neil was a good role model. She was interested in reporting the truth and wearing yellow jumpsuits. And nailing Casey Jones. He was hot.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Western | TV shows | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Second Grade Is a Jungle
Seven-year-old boy: Just because he's a kid doesn't mean he should not have to moisturize his hair.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: sandy
Categories: Kids | Philosophy | Texas | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kids Will Eat Me Alive!
Chick looking into her palm, then at thug nearby: Man, I'm a preschool teacher! Don't sell me the wrong drugs!
Bar
Ft. Smith, Arkansas
Overheard by: her best friend
But I'm an Only Child
Mom: You know, you're a strange duck.
Three-year-old son: Yeah? Well, you have a big nose! [Laughs hysterically.]
Mom: Out of all my kids, I like you the least.
City bus
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Sarah
Worth a Shot
Mom: I'll have a diet Coke.
Dad: I'll have an iced tea.
10-year-old girl: I'll have a Bailey's coffee.
Waitress: Um... Can I see some ID?
10-year-old girl: Okay, I'll just have coffee, then.
Cheesecake Factory
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: around the corner
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Glad the condom broke | Parents | Servers | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Only So Much Handwriting Practice I Can Take
Lady on cell: This week was absolute hell. Yeah, I was with seven nuns all week.
Adult Education Center
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Gossip | Massachusetts | On the phone | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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