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He's Got the Extemporaneous Rhyming, but Can He Rope-a-Dope?
Voluble man: Hey, blondie! Hey! Guess what? I'm the prettiest man on this here bus! I'm like Muhammad Ali! Get your degree, smoke your crack free, national American methiversity! Hey, blondie! Guess what? I gots the prettiest dick on this whole bus! You should come over and check it on up!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: blondie
Categories: Bragging | Creepsters | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Better Safe Than Sorry
Man on cell: Look, I could've taken her back to my apartment, put a condom on my tongue... but I didn't... What's wrong with putting a condom on my tongue?
Binghamton University
Binghamton, New York
Categories: New York | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What a Judgmental Bitch
Woman #1: Yeah, well, she's really not friends with him anymore. You know, since he held that knife up to her throat?
Woman #2: Yeah.
Thorold, Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Need Some More Napkins?
Girl to boyfriend: I'm sorry I stabbed you after you took me to the circus.
Denny's
Novi, Michigan
There Really Was No Other Future Envisaged for Moon Unit Zappa
Girl: Yeah, I need to talk to my advisor about changing my major. I want to be a space girl.
University of Texas, Austin's Forty Acres bus
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: an engineer
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Students | Texas | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'm Prepared to Fight a War on Two Fronts
Crazy man at bus stop in front of the Union: I'm a Nazi for sex, ya fuckin' sluts.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gen
Categories: Bragging | Crazies | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bob, How Many Times Did You Get Checked Tonight?
Dude #1: Why are we walking through the engineering quad?
Dude #2: C'mon man, it's like the hypotenuse... It makes sense!
Dude #3: Dude, we just got out of hockey and you guys are talking about fourth dimensions?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: marcella
Categories: Education | Friends | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Couldn't I Do That without Getting Married?
Chick to friend: You should marry a fish! Then you can have sex and have mermaid babies!
High school
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: me
And Whose Wingtips Were Those Next to the Door?
Girlfriend: I'm telling you, you definitely came inside my pussy last night.
Boyfriend: But I was fucking your ass!
Girlfriend: No, sweetie, that was my pussy.
Boyfriend: Then how come my dick had shit all over it this morning?
Train station
Paterson, New Jersey
Categories: Couples | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sweet Valley High Book That Never Made It to Print
Redhead chick: Oh my god, the school year's almost over!
Greek girl: Yeah! I'm gonna miss all the good times we've had!
Redhead chick: Yeah, like the time I woke up and there was a bear in my bed growling at me, and you laughed.
Greek girl: Oh, yeah, and all the one night stands! [Girls sigh.]
Upstate New York high school
New York
Categories: Friends | Memory lane | New York | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then He Came Back As a Zombie
Kid #1: Michael Jackson? I think he died.
Kid #2: He died?
Kid #1: Yeah. He killed someone and then he died.
Kid #2: Oh, yeah, I remember.
Golden Corral
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Categories: About celebrities | Kids | Oklahoma | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had to Defer a Year
Guy: The only reason I remember the day I got accepted to Cornell is because it's the only time I ever walked in on my parents having sex.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Memory lane | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't Talk. Biting Shoulder.
Spastic girl: Why does everyone keep biting my left shoulder?!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Deb
Categories: Chicks | Questions | Washington | Posted 2007-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Flaps Are Up and Everything
Whiny girl: My flight was canceled!
Friend: Oh, no! ... Your hair looks great!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Paris
Categories: Compliments | Friends | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Black Sabbath Concert
Teen twink: It was so hard to follow, and then he ate the ferret...
St. Michaels High School
Maryland
Overheard by: MarionC
Guess Who Puts the "Ass" in "I'm Dumping Your Ass"?
Girlfriend: You put the 'whore' in 'horrible.'
Boyfriend: Uh, well, you put the 'ho' in... 'I'ma slap you, ho.'
Singapore
Overheard by: Greg
It's a Fine Line
Student: She was more of a leisure crackhead than a street crackhead.
York University
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: there's a difference?
... If You're Unable to Catch Flies with Honey
Encouraging seven-year-old girl to another: You can always use weapons.
Elementary school playground
Mount Vernon, New York
Categories: Advice | New York | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Moon Is Full for More Than Four Hours, Consult a Physician
Ninth grade English teacher: I mean, it isn't just like, 'Wee, the man in the moon is gettin' laid!'
Newton North High School
Newton, Massachusetts
Categories: Education | Massachusetts | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Foolproof!
Middle-aged guy on ski lift to lady: ... So I'm at work, and the new 18-something marketing intern comes up to me and basically directly propositions me for sex. Now, since I have that restraining order my wife got against me and I'm done dealing with that assault conviction, I didn't think it was going to be a bad idea. My wife won't come over and my probation officer calls the same time every day...
Crystal Mountain ski area
Washington
Overheard by: should have waited for the next chair
Categories: Creepsters | Gossip | Washington | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Happens to Everyone at Some Point
Woman on cell: So, wait, let me get this right: you're saying that he wrote a book about his boat and then mailed it to himself at the wrong address?
Marathon, Florida
Overheard by: Chey
Categories: Florida | Gossip | On the phone | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That's When I Knew: Motherfucker Was Dead
Woman #1: Motherfucker knew I was wearin' a thong.
Woman #2: Mmm-hmmm.
Woman #1: Motherfucker knew my booty was shakin'.
Woman #2: Mmm-hmmm.
Woman #1: Motherfucker did nothin'.
The Loop
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Missouri | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Motorboating Purist
Preggers: My baby's gettin' the bottle. Ain't no baby suckin' on these titties -- that ain't what they're for...
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Um, that IS what they're for
Categories: New Jersey | Preggers | Rack | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then You'll Be Left with Just the Grenades
Mom: If you don't stop hitting your sister and start behaving nicely, we're gonna go right back there and return those guns!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: attention target shopper
Categories: Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Movies to Fuck To
Guy looking at picture of Daniel Craig modeling watches: Did you ever get to see Casino Royale? What did you think?
Chick: I don't really know. I was kinda too busy having sex during it.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Friends | Gossip | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You Were Ellen Pompeo's Cook
Young topologist: It would be so cool to be a chef, because, like, what you cook would be inside people who eat your food.
Creative Arts High School
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Food | Jobs & Careers | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One of Life's Opportunists
Dude #1: Did you see the gash on his forehead?
Chick: Oh my god, there's another fight going on!
Dude #2: Oh, look! The lunch line is short!
Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California
Categories: California | Food | North America | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes, I Found Out What I'm Doing Now Is Illegal
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Categories: California | Infidelity | North America | Relationships | Sex | Tourist attractions | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung
Woman on cell: I totally didn't recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.
Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas
Categories: Beauty | Biotechs | Maladies | North America | On the phone | Stores | Texas | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think That's a Generous Word for It
Child runs out into busy parking lot.
Mom: Careful! There are old people driving!
Overheard by: Eric Smith
Wait, What's a Fraction Again?
Teen #1: No. Seriously. What's five eighths as a fraction?
Teen #2: God. We should totally know this.
Before We Have a Chance to Pass on Our Genes?
Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.
Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com
Overheard by: autumn
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | North America | Overheard At The Mecca | USA | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, You're Such a Maudlin Drunk
Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don't hear anyone else crying, do you?
United flight descending into O'Hare
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: Airports & flights | Dads | Illinois | Maladies | North America | Parenting | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Although It's a Part of My Life I Don't Like Talking About
Hipster on cell: I've been everywhere. [pause] Yes, I've been to Queens.
Hope Street, Williamsburg
Brooklyn, New York
Categories: Hipsters | New York | North America | On the phone | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Leave the Details to My Subordinates
Girl on cell: What do you want? I'm in a fucking dressing room... Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier... What? It's not like I was the one stabbing people!
1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: really?
Categories: North America | On the phone | Oregon | Stores | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pain Is Bad -- Let's Agree on That
Girl: No, no! Vicodin is bad! Vicodin is bad, Percoset is good!
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Drugs | North America | Overheard at Stanford | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Pearl Jam
Girl #1: Lumberjacks wear flannel.
Girl #2: And junkies.
The Way Some Girls Find Four-Leaf Clovers
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Categories: BJs | Bars & Clubs | Drinking & drunks | North America | Penis | Sex | Tennessee | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In My Father's Store, There Are Many Departments
Guy #1: Who's Ian Gillan?
Guy #2: You know, the guy in Deep Purple? He was also in Jesus Christ Superstore.
Long Beach
Categories: About celebrities | California | Guys | Idiots | Music | Names | Pop culture | Stupidity | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No. And Stop Snorting That Flour
Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!
Safeway
Lakeport, California
Overheard by: Corinna
Categories: California | Drinking & drunks | Kids | North America | Should have used a condom | Stores | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Could Do That Now!
Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Kids | North America | Should have used a condom | USA | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Seem to Be Retaining Coors
Guy: Dude, that is your belly.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Categories: Body parts | Frat boy types | Jocks | North America | Overheard in Utah | Stomach | USA | Utah | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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