Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Commit a Heinous Crime and Come Talk to Me
Loud grad student in restaurant: I don't know why anyone would want to be a relativist when they could be an expressivist!
Overheard by: Monkey
Categories: Philosophy | Restaurants | Students | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whatever. You Had That Cushy Yellow Raft
Mexican boy: We have to get up at 4 in the morning to go to school every day.
Mexican grandma: Yeah, well, I had to swim the Rio Grande to get to this country. So what?
Third Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Amused third generation Mexican
Categories: California | Mexicans | North America | Old folks | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Too Young for Croquet
Little girl: Mommy, I know where 'em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here -- here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.
Mansfield, Texas
Wish I Could Say the Same for You
Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don't even bother. It's so ugly. It looks so out of place... It's probably thinking, 'What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.'
Boyfriend: That's what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don't worry, babe, I'm sure he'll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee
Categories: Animals | Couples | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's a Creature of Habit
Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step...
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: JP
Categories: Couples | Drinking & drunks | Louisiana | North America | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hell, There Will Probably Be More!
Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I'll do it later -- the kids with cancer will still have cancer.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Mike
Categories: Maladies | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Will the Lights Be Off, and the Chairs Well Separated?
Teacher before movie: There is one part with a naked woman in it. Are you guys ok with that?
Guy: Is it an ugly woman?
Teacher: No.
Guy: Then we should be fine.
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Categories: California | North America | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sex | Students | Teachers | USA | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Make-a-Wish Foundation's New Ad
Lady: Hi sweetheart, how old are you?
Little girl: I'm four, and I'm too young to die.
Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Death & dying | Kids | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hemingway Really Died
Drunk redneck: You wanna shoot a shotgun naked? Come to my house!
The Pour House
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Categories: Bars & Clubs | North America | South Carolina | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm So Sneaking into the Men's Locker Room!
Girl on train: I usually do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!
Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com
Categories: Australia | Beauty | Body parts | Overheard in Sydney | Public transportation | Train | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or a Sunburn. With Blisters
Guy: I don't mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.
Wisconsin
You Never Forget Your First Loser
Girl: He was 26, I was 18. I liked him until I found out he was a loser.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Memory lane | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Dads | Family ties | Fashion | Movies | North America | Parenting | Parents | Pop culture | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Kind of Surprised You Still Are
Girl on cell: Well, if you keep blacking out, you won't be a virgin anymore.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Brian
Categories: Drinking & drunks | New York | North America | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Virginity | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used "Ain't"?
Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk -- I'm mixing my metaphors!
Bucknell University
Categories: Drinking & drunks | North America | Pennsylvania | Students | USA | Words | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did You Buy the Catastrophic Event Warranty?
Woman: Excuse me, my phone doesn't work. What should I do?
Salesman: What happened to your phone?
Woman: Well, my two year old son poured chocolate syrup on it, so I soaked it in the sink with dish soap to get it off.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Cell phones | Gadgets | Moms | Parents | Technology | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fluffers Ain't Cheap
Grocery bagger to another: Yeah, man -- just last month I spent over a hundred bucks on my balls!
Overheard by: Chey
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Stores | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight We'll Watch Gentleman's Agreement
Mother to three kids: It doesn't matter if they come from Jewland, they're still Americans.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Philip
Categories: Jews | Michigan | Moms | North America | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grandparents Get to Say "Yes"
Grandmother to small child: Now, you can't tell your father about this, but we're going to build an arsenal with lots of weapons...
Target
Rochester, New York
Categories: New York | North America | Stores | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks
Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.
Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood
Categories: California | Clothing | Fashion | Kids | Moms | North America | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Shiny, but with No Waxy Buildup
Chick on cell: I don't know -- sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss's head.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Jason Carr
Categories: Indiana | North America | On the phone | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Enron Happened
Business professor: What time is the final next week?
Students: Monday from 1 to 3pm.
Business professor: No! That can't be right -- the school would not give a 3-hour exam!
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Big Rock or a Little Rock?
Girl on cell: I love you. I do. I love you more than weed. Do you believe me? You know how much I love weed, right? Well, I love you more... If you had the choice between me and a rock, what would you choose? Me, I love you more than weed. I really do.
Overheard by: miss_jaffacake@lj
Categories: Drugs | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When the Veil Lifts, Revealing the Male Mystery
Girl: So, I was here yesterday and there was this, like, gorgeous guy standing in front of me. And then guess what he did? He let one go! Seriously! It wasn't quiet, either -- more like someone ripping carpet off a floor. I wondered if he'd messed himself... Gnarls Barkley again? Don't they have any other mixed tapes?
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Burping & farting | Overheard at York | Students | Posted 2007-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Thinking Nondisclosure Is the Way to Go
Chick on cell: So there's, like, a 10 percent chance I might get eaten by a cougar... if I do tell my boyfriend I fucked his brother.
Virgin Festival
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: T-T-T- Taylor
But Was It Carrie-Canyon Classy?
Drunk girl #1: Hey, Ken! How huge was that vagina I drew?
Ken: Yeah, it was pretty big.
Drunk girl #2: It was classy, though.
Kransky's Bar
St. James, New York
Overheard by: Gette
He's Still Bitter about the Toilet Training
Three-year-old boy yelling at goats: Stop pooping! No more pooping! I said no more pooping!
Mom: Stop yelling at the livestock.
Petting zoo
Long Island, New York
Categories: Moms | New York | Poop | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Although I Have Enough Beaded Necklaces to Last Me the Rest of My Life
Angry girl to man: No! It was when you pulled down the top of my dress and exposed my breasts to everyone that it became a problem!
North Avenue
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Lisa
I Don't Care What That Judge Decided
Professor: Her motto was, 'Forget the pill, it's all God's will.' So nature had its way and this young lady got pregnant. And just so you know, I had nothing to do with it.
Philosophy lecture, Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: sleepy philosophy student
Huggy Bear: My Pimp Sense Is Tingling!
Liberated woman: I don't know what I'll do until I get married... I'm just so not into, like, doing taxes and stuff.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: disillusioned
Categories: Bimbettes | Gripes | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's All I've Ever Needed
Grad student: Do you still need your rocks warmed?
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica Bessica
Whereas "Socrates" Means "Slip Me a $50 and You'll Get an A"
Third year student #1, about exam: What the hell was up with the reference to Aristotle?
Third year student #2: That's code for, 'I cordially invite you to bullshit.'
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Education | Overheard in Law School | Students | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Really Needed a Place to Hang My Hammock
Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.
Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii
Categories: Frat boy types | Hawaii | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Pictures of You Are What Count
Dad to little boy: If it comes between your life and this camera, save the camera!
Animal Kingdom, Walt Disney World
Florida
You Might Want to Consider a Laxative
Queer on cell: I think I broke my nail inside your asshole.
Augusta
São Paulo
Brazil
You're Lucky I'm Coordinated Enough to Thrust
Annoyed guy: You want me to talk to you during sex?! Let's do it on the kitchen counter! That way I can make you an omelet, too, while we're at it!
Cypress Run apartments
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: likes it in the kitchen
Not the Worst Graduation Photo I've Ever Seen...
Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It's me with no shirt on... And I was rubbin' m'nipples.
Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey
Categories: Couples | New Jersey | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lucy's a Frog
Six-year-old: You know my friend, Lucy? Well, before she was a girl she was a boy.
Mom: What? That's not possible. You can't change from being a girl to being a boy.
Six-year-old: But Lucy did.
Mom: No, she didn't. Why are you saying this?
Six-year-old: She did! She was a boy and now she's a girl! She told me!
Mom: She's lying. It doesn't happen that way.
Six-year-old: But she did! You don't know anything! She was a boy and now she's a girl!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: just over the fence
Categories: Australia | Gender issues | Kids | Moms | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... I Tried Her with Mayo
Chick: Well, I was going to rub the peanut butter all over Maureen*, but that didn't happen, so...
Gateway High School
Colorado
Overheard by: Pilbur
Why Do Any of Us Go to Camp?
Camp counselor: Do you know if Bill has a Jack, offhand?
Camp Cory
Penn Yann, New York
Overheard by: i refuse to speculate
Categories: Counselors | New York | Questions | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once You've Got That Down, We'll Move on to Exfoliants
Teen boy #1: Ouch.
Teen boy #2: Oweee! Did you break a nail?
Teen boy #1: Yes!
Teen boy #2: You should get manicures like I do so that won't happen so often.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I get them too
Categories: Advice | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Read the Previous Week's Quotes!
