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Or at Least Pull Up Your Underwear
Airport PA: Will the man with his pants around his ankles please return to Security and retrieve your belt?
Chicago Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothing | Employees | Illinois | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which They'll Provide in Both the Front and the Tail
Pilot: We'll be flying with our team of flight attendants today, and of course we'll be looking forward to the great service they provide... [Awkward laugh] The great service they provide to you, of course.
American Airlines flight
Overheard by: not that kind of service
Categories: Airports & flights | Jobs & Careers | Pilots | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Made His Millions Off Kant's Death
Philosophy professor: ... And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer's classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.
Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jen
Categories: Class | History | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, "Make All Deliveries in Rear"
Guy: You're such a slut.
Chick: That's what my tattoo says!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Hoochies | Insults | Overheard Lines | Tattoos | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seemed Pretty Serious at the Time
History student: Seriously? Hitler was in the Second World War?
Ovens Road
Perth
Western Australia
Overheard by: Have You Just Not Been Listening Or What?
Nobody Expects the Chinese Inquisition
Bimbette #1: I think I did okay on the test, but I didn't get any of the locations.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, they were hard to study for.
Bimbette #1: Yeah, like, I put them all in Asia, and I thought maybe something was wrong. I mean... Madrid sounds Chinese, doesn't it?
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Education | Kentucky | Stupidity | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Are You?
Teacher to Chinese boy who twisted his pen: How in the bloody hell did you do that?
Students: [Laugh and all try twisting.]
Chinese girl: I can't do it.
Teacher: But you're Asian.
Social Studies class, High school
Connecticut
Categories: Asians | Connecticut | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, Sex. That Was Me, Too
Guy: Yeah, that whole pot-smoking thing? I totally started it!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kate & matt
Categories: Bragging | Drugs | Idiots | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Want to Have to Run You in for Theft, Too
Cop: It better be your own shit you are throwing this time, Martha.
Citadel Theatre
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
I Could Give a Damn How Mom Feels
Creepster #1: You know what's really hot?
Creepster #2: What?
Creepster #1: Sniffing a sexy chick's underwear.
Creepster #2: Yeah, man.
Creepster #1: So you do it, too? I do it after sex when she leaves the room.
Creepster #2: Yeah, me, too... But usually it's my mom's underwear, so my girlfriend doesn't get weirded out.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Creepsters | Family ties | Getting off | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I'm Winning
Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn't understand, so I something you didn't understand right back... God, I'm cruel.
Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
I Mean, the Only Other Possibility Is That You're a Poseur Idiot
Dude: I thought you could use chopsticks.
Chick: Why?
Dude: Because you have tattoos.
Chick: And that means I can use chopsticks?
Dude: Well, one of them is Chinese...
Noodle Man, Ryrie Street
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: Does the septum ring make her part animal?
I'm Currently in between Abortions
Lab TA: This is bromium chloride. If you have guys in your group, have them work with it. If not, girls, I hope you're not pregnant. It tends to cause birth defects and cancer.
Chick #1 in back of room, whispering: You guys, I can't touch that stuff!
Chick #2: Why not? Are you pregnant?
Chick #1: You see, that's the thing -- I don't know...
Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: She's majoring in drunken sorority girl
Wait, What Kind of Hooker Do I Look Like?
Chick #1: Girl, get off me. You know I don't like hookers.
Chick #2: Yeah, well, I don't like Chinese people.
Chick #1: Do I look Chinese to you?
Chick #2: I was just letting you know.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Gripes | Posted 2007-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Public Service Warning for All Education Majors at Smith
Education professor: Marshmallows are not alive... are they?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Massachusetts | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2007-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Asparagus Pee Is Forbidden by the Geneva Convention
Creepy guy: Hey, Joey*.
Joey: Yeah?
Creepy guy: Have you ever put pee in a Super Soaker before?
Joey: Yeah.
Friend: What?
Girl: Ewww.
Friend: What does it feel like if you're sprayed?
Creepy guy, shrugs: Kinda tingles.
Geography class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Nothing Like Fuzzy Wits and a Full Bladder
Man #1: You know what I'm gonna do as soon as that train comes? I'm gonna go in between the cars and take a whiz!
Man #2: Yo, man, you can't do that! You'll get in trouble! When the train comes just sit yourself down with me and we'll smoke a joint!
Fullerton L platform
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Friends | Illinois | Time Management | Posted 2007-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Have the Trophies to Back That Up
Girl in front: Hey! I can shoot a cat as well as the next girl!
Normandale Community College
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: who questions that ability??
Take That Back or I'll Give You an Atomic Wedgie Right Here
Late 20s drone in front of train operator's door: Excuse me, can you move forward? The operator said I'm blocking the window.
Late 40s suit: No, you move forward. This is my spot.
Late 20s drone: We're both blocking the window, and I can't move unless you do.
Late 40s suit: I'm not moving.
Late 20s drone, groaning: You're an ass.
Late 40s suit: No, you're an ass.
Late 20s drone, pushing past: Oh, fuck you.
Late 40s suit, mocking: Oh, fuck you.
Late 20s drone: Good luck in third grade.
BART train, Bay Point - Daly City line
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: baby boomers must die
Categories: Insults | Jerks | San Francisco | Strangers | Train | Posted 2007-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The "X-Wing" Is a Favorite of Mine
Second year student: So, what do you do when your potential client is not being straight with you?
Professor: If you can't get at them frontally, get at them sideways.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bootstraps
Undeserved Sympathy Is Better Than Being Ignored
Girl: I like wearing this hat because it makes me look like a cancer patient.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: wb
Categories: Chicks | Clothing | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It'll Only Get Rougher from There
Male flight attendant: This will be a miserable flight. It'll be really turbulent and then we'll end up in New Jersey.
Flight into Newark Airport
Categories: Airports & flights | Flight attendants | Gripes | Posted 2007-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Correct Answer: Whatever You Want -- I Love You
Woman: I told you, I will not use Downy fabric softener ever again. Pick something else!
Boyfriend: What? 'Cause it says 'April Fresh'? Oh, come on!
Woman: I don't want anything with your ex-girlfriend's name on it. I'm not gonna be reminded of April every damn time I do laundry.
Big 8 Grocery Store
El Paso, Texas
Which Is Why They Call It V-E Half-Day
Professor: So, how did the baby boom come about?
Student: When a--
Professor: --You don't need to actually walk me through it. In the late 1940s, everybody was becoming a mother. Okay, half of everybody.
University of North Florida
Jacksonville, Florida
Actually, Just a Regular One with a Small Bun
Hungry girl: Oooh, what's the jumbo hot dog?
Clerk: Ummm, it's a really big hot dog.
Milwaukee Admirals game, Bradley Center
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Travis
Um... I Meant, "Can I Speak French?"
Guest speaker: What are the rules for language in this class?
Professor: Go right ahead. You can say 'fuck' all you want.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Words | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And No, I Don't Think "Frenulum" Is a Pretty Name
Bimbette: Wait! So she had the baby via circumcision?!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bimbettes | Gossip | Overheard at McGill | Words | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Diversity Provides a Wide Variety of Scary
Chick: It wasn't, like, black people-scary. It was, like, Appalachian-scary. I didn't feel like I was going to be shot, I felt like I was going to be eaten.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Fears | Michigan | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Regret Everything
Professor: It was all sex, drugs, and rock and roll back then... But I wasn't doing much of that because I was too busy getting my PhD so I could teach at Brandeis.
Brandeis University
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lala
Categories: Gossip | Massachusetts | Teachers | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Said, "My Name's Chip. And That's an Egg McMuffin."
Frat boy: So, the prof walked into class and he looked right at me and he said, 'Drew*, your right testicle is hanging out.' That's how he started the class!
Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com
Categories: Balls | Frat boy types | Gossip | Weirdos of Winnipeg | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Took Up All My Free Time and Left Me Really Tired, but Gave Me Some Extra Spending Money
Burly dude to friend: Last week I took a crap that was like having a second job.
Truck stop, I-81
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tha WB
Categories: Friends | Pennsylvania | Poop | Posted 2007-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Only Be Able to Make Improvements on the Basis of Efficiency
Professor: At every threshold capacity spanking is happening!
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2007-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'm Not Sure I Was Making Any Sense
Communications professor: Do you think you've made any progress in this class?
Student who just gave her speech: Well, my butt cheeks weren't shaking this time!
Community college
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Some progress is better than none.
Categories: Ass | Class | Pennsylvania | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
People Are All "What's Up?" As Volunteers Push Me Back into the Sea
College guy: Ugh. Now I know what a beached whale feels like when it gets a phone call.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bahama Mama
Categories: Animals | Students | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Apparently She Needs the Practice
Goth teen girl: If you don't come back to me, I'll kill myself.
Exasperated teen guy: Why the fuck do you do this shit to me?
Friend: Don't listen to her. She's always killing herself.
East Bay Diner
Oceanside, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
No Need for That Kind of Language, Missy
Girl stretching after a workout: Oooh, my cooter bone!
Ohio University
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Meredith
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | Ohio | Posted 2007-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Flossing Doesn't Seem to Have Helped
Chick #1: I have toothpaste on my crotch.
Chick #2: Uh... What?
Chick #1: I was brushing my teeth this afternoon and I got excited.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: natalie
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jason Decides Reality Is Too Hard
Mom: Does Mommy look fat in this?
Toddler: Yes!
Mom: No! You're supposed to say no!
Toddler: [Silence.]
Target
Moreno Valley, California
Overheard by: Lisa
Categories: California | Insults | Moms | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He and the Cat Have Never Been in a Room at the Same Time
Queer: I love my boyfriend, but I really think he might be a shapeshifter.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Categories: Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Queers | Posted 2007-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No, That's Your Dollar -- You Just Keep It
Mom changing toddler's diaper: Honey, it appears that you have glitter on your penis.
Mount Vernon, New York
Overheard by: Deek
To Confuse Any Terrorists Who May Be Flying with Us Today
Captain: Welcome to JetBlue! I am your captain, Greg, and sitting next to me is your co-captain... also Greg.
Flight to Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
Best Thing You Can Teach a Kid Is How to Suck It Up
Teen daughter screaming hysterically: Daddy, if you loved me you would have gotten me business class!
Ruffled dad: Are you fuckin' kidding me?
Logan International Terminal
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: feeling conflicted in steerage
Categories: Dads | Gripes | Massachusetts | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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