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It's Like the Inside of a Man's Mind in There
Sexy girl: My roommate keeps the room temp at, like, tropical. It gets so hot in there it gets hazy! It's a good thing she doesn't care about nudity, because the only way I survive in that room is to walk around naked.
High Point, North Carolina
Categories: Chicks | North Carolina | Weather | Posted 2007-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Can You Think That after All the Threesomes I've Done for You?
Mom to girls at bar: You two are so cute. [To daughter's friend] So, do you swing both ways?
Friend: Uhhh...
Daughter: Just ignore my mother. She's really drunk and thinks I need a date.
Mom: I'm just trying. Do you think I don't care about you?
Louisville, Kentucky
Being President Means Always Having to Say You're Sorry
Visiting Chinese professor: We like Clinton for his love stories.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Oklahoma | Politics | Teachers | Posted 2007-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're All Cheetahs and Liars
Singing teen: If you find yourself in a situation where you're gonna have sex with a leopard, don't, because it's gross.
148 bus
Ottawa
Canadia
I Need to Wait for Him to Make the Down Payment
Lady to math tutor: I have to call home. I'm not about to take out a loan if he hasn't used the bathroom yet.
University of Nevada, Las Vegas library
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: the stonefoxx
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Gripes | Nevada | Students | Posted 2007-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's This on My Syllabus?
Distinguished professor: I think I do sex next Tuesday, is that right?
Evolutionary Ecology class, University of California
Santa Cruz, California
Categories: California | Class | Jobs & Careers | Teachers | Posted 2007-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everything Bagels
Blonde: You know you are involved in an illegitimate affair when your secret word for sex is 'bagels.'
Virginia
Otherwise My Tech Support Job Will Be Obsolete
Girl on cell: Well, I don't care if they kill fucking humans; just don't fucking kill the worms!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearstoomuch
Categories: Murder | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If I Want to Stop Attracting Hippies
Roller derby girl: ... And it occurs to me that I'm 23 years old -- I should probably shave my underarms.
Lucky 7's
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Categories: Chicks | New Jersey | Shaving | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fat People: Can't Argue. Eating.
Queer: If gay people can't get married then fat people shouldn't be allowed to have lunch breaks!
Carson Street
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Cassie
Categories: Indiana | Philosophy | Queers | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That's How You Were Conceived
WASP mom to her two pre-teen kids: Your father got fucked in the ass.
Micawber Books
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Categories: Backdoor | Gossip | Moms | New Jersey | Parenting | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Tryin' to Cause a Scene Over Here!
College dude: She needs to get her fuckin' face smashed in. She's such a stupid bitch.
Friend: Who?
College dude: Janet*. I fuckin' hate her. This is fuckin' bullshit. [To other friend across the library] Hey, shut the fuck up down there!
577 Western Avenue
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Annie
Categories: Gripes | Jerks | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Senility Jane Goes to College
Girl #1, studying: I don't want to do this anymore! In five years I'm going to be dead and I won't care.
Girl #2: You won't be dead in five years.
Girl #1: Well, I'm going to be really old and I'm not going to care anymore.
Girl #2: You're not going to be old and you will care.
Girl #1: Wait... What? Care about what?
SUNY Cortland
Cortland, New York
Overheard by: Stephanie
Dude, That's David Spade
Man at airport: I'm gonna go hug that kid. Maybe then his mom will start keeping an eye on him.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Creepsters | Overheard Lines | Parenting | Posted 2007-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Tastes As Good As Dead Feels
Woman on cell: So, she hasn't had anything to eat since Monday afternoon... Yeah, I guess that means she's doing great!
Arby's
Lebanon, Ohio
Categories: Gossip | Ohio | On the phone | Posted 2007-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Guess She Was Kind of Model-Ugly
20-ish girl: I mean, I thought he was rich, but his sister's kind of ugly, so I dunno...
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Idle
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Money | San Francisco | Posted 2007-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Welcome to Your Career
Mother handing son bag of groceries: Here you go.
Son: Me?
Mother: Yes, you, silly.
Son, pouting: But I'm special.
Mother: No, you're not.
Publix
Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ali
Categories: Florida | Moms | Parenting | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Look, There's Seven of Them, Alright?
Tourist: What's a gable?
Tour guide: A peak in a roof.
Tourist: So, a gable is a roof?
Tour guide: Uh... Yes.
House of Seven Gables
Salem, Massachusetts
Categories: Massachusetts | Stupidity | Tourists | Posted 2007-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Bureau of Rude Remarks Shall Hear of This!
Dude: You should know -- I'm into government intervention into every aspect of life.
Passerby: Such a fag.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Insults | Jerks | Names | New Zealand | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Work So Hard All Week
Devout chick: Oh my god, I know! I never wear bras on Sundays!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: katrina
Categories: Chicks | Clothing | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude Rule #1: Caught in a Lie? Tell a Bigger One
Chick: Are you sure you're a photographer? Your hands are so soft!
Dude: That's not my photography hand.
Taber's Restaurant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Flying Pig
Categories: Compliments | Creepsters | Gossip | Hands | Maryland | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Secret? I Like Forcible Sex
Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist... I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist... [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I'm sure you are really very nice!
King's Cross Night Bus
London
England
Overheard by: Andrea
Categories: Drunks | England | Philosophy | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Always One for the Scrapbook
Kid to mom in car with windows up: Mom! I peed outside today! Mom! Did you hear what I said? I peed outside today! [Mom doesn't respond.] Mom! Mom! I peed outside today! I peed outside today!
Mom, opening the door: Shut up and get in the car.
Kindercare, 196th Street
Lynnwood, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
Categories: Gossip | Parenting | Pee | Should have used a condom | Washington | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doctor: Works Every Time
Cheerleader: So, I had this problem with peeing and I visited a doctor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheerleader: You can't imagine... He wanted to see the effect, so I had to pee in front of him while he's watching me doing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that happened to me.
Classroom, Montana State University
Bozeman, Montana
Overheard by: Awesome Naveed
I Dunno -- the Glue Is Vewwy Vewwy Sticky
Teen: What do you think made Elmer famous? It wasn't the glue -- it was the Fudd.
Cincinnati Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Oh, Fuck -- Go Ahead and Hit Me
Girl: Hey, quit staring at my breasts!
Guy #1: Yeah, why are you staring at my girlfriend's breasts?
Guy #2: Well, man, see... It's like this -- she's like my sister.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lissa
Categories: Guys | Lies | Overheard at Western | Rack | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Rehabilitation Began with Starship Troopers
Boy watching Indiana Jones: Why are the Nazis always the bad guys?
Thug: Who are they supposed to be?
Flowing Wells High School
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | History | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Should have used a condom | Thugs | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So They're Still Just Meat Puppets, Am I Right?
Sketchy guy: So, like, if you were hooking up with someone but not dating -- just sex -- would you tell them you had an STD?
Girl: Are you kidding me?
Sketchy guy: But, like, you're not actually dating -- just having sex.
Girl: [Shocked silence.]
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: absolutely horrified
Categories: Advice | Creepsters | New York | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Just Something about the Sweating and the Open Sores
Girl #1: Oh my god! You should see this guy I met at a party [shows a picture on her computer].
Girl #2: Yeah, he's pretty good-looking.
Girl #1: I know, he's so hot. Like, in an 'I'm mysterious and a recovering drug addict' sort of way.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: laura
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know Exactly Where They've Been
Dude on cell: No, I really don't want to put your balls in my mouth, thank you very much.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: laura
Categories: Balls | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Find That a Relaxed No-Mindedness Is Much More Effective
Mother: Don't talk now, honey. Concentrate.
Little girl: Concentrate on the poo! Concentrate on the poo!
Bathroom, Newark Int'l Airport
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Moms | New Jersey | Poop | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Will Do Anything for Love, but I Won't Do That
Dude: Let's go sleep in the meatloaf.
Starbucks
California
Categories: California | Guys | Time Management | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Does She Study?
Guy: Okay, but what's the biggest problem?
Girl: It's so annoying! Every time I go into her room she's masturbating!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Friends | Gossip | Masturbation | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'm Almost Always Sore, N-4
Bingo number caller: I pick up lots of chicks, G-56. But when I don't, I masturbate, B-8.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bingo player
Categories: Coworkers | Masturbation | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Miss Jenkins, I See You've Cited "Big Jim Slade" As a Primary Source
Female classics major: My advisers are all men, and the youngest is, like, 45. And my thesis is on desire. It's like, I don't know what a male orgasm feels like. I don't even know what a female orgasm feels like!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Yes, I'd Like a Grande Double Espresso with a Shot of Cocaine
Man: Decaf, please.
MBA guy: Who the fuck orders decaf? That's like having eyes yet walking around with them closed.
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Categories: Food | Jerks | Overheard at KMC | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Love Something, Set It Free
Toddler: Mommy, I want my boogers back!
Bus
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Gripes | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Pot and Doritos Should Be Sold in Blister-Paks
Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.
Nurse: Okay... Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?
Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!
Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.
Doctor: Are you sure? Why don't you put them back on for the CAT scan...
Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Stoners | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whorehouses Don't Do Community Service
Chick on cell: Megan! It's a sorority! Megan! It's not a whorehouse! Megan!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: a passerby who has never been to that... sorority
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Greeting Cards Are Getting More and More Specific
Girl: Every time I walk into Stop 'N Shop and get a whiff of Irish Spring I think of your testicles.
Seton Hall University
South Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: Never will think of Irish Spring the same way again
Categories: Balls | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | New Jersey | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Daniel Radcliffe: It Was Lipstick, Actually
Lady suit: I hate to say it, but Harry Potter's penis is small.
Hipster girl: What! Nooo!
Lady suit: No, really -- it is. He got an erection on stage... and it was just sad. But the weirdest part is that it was bright red, like they had put blush on it or something.
Hipster girl: What the fuck?! My dreams are ruined!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: About celebrities | Hipsters | Overheard in the Valley | Penis | Suits | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can Dispense with Talking
Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you 'Baby'?
Frat boy #2: No... You've bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying -- we're experienced.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the ear
Categories: Backdoor | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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