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A Credo We Enforce with Artillery
Girl on cell: If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Texas.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | On the phone | Philosophy | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, Is That a Taser?
Girl: Hey, you're that chick I stalk on MySpace!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | MySpace | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just a Test of the Emergency Menopause Warning System
Cute chick: I don't know what's going on, but my butt cheeks are sweating really bad.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: the bomb track
Categories: Ass | Chicks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Been in and Out of Fashion Prison My Whole Life
20-ish woman: He wears cut-offs that are cut so high that you can see the pockets and his boxers poking out, and he has plumber's crack.
Teen chick: Oh my god... And your mom actually likes this guy?
20-ish woman: No, no, no -- this is my real dad.
Mountain View-bound Light Rail
Campbell, California
Overheard by: Cracker
Categories: California | Clothing | Friends | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, You Mean Condoms Are Disposable?
Girl #1: Well, Jim and I have sex all the time without condoms. Then I had sex with Gary and we used one, but then Scott came and we didn't use one. Then, that same night, Thomas came over and we used one. But that's when my vagina started to hurt.
Girl #2: Maybe you should stop using it.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: i wish i had my ipod
Bus 31, Maintain Blissful Ignorance. Over.
Bus 20 operator to dispatch: Yeah, there are a lot of warning signals on that I've never seen before. Should I be worried?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the blankenships
Categories: Bus drivers | Overheard in PDX | Questions | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Keeps Me Running in Tip-Top Shape
Chick: I really think my gynecologist helps our relationship, though.
Starbucks
Edmond, Oklahoma
Categories: Chicks | Health & Hygiene | Oklahoma | Posted 2007-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, We Quit at Least Once a Day
Girl #1: Lately it feels like I'm on fire when I have sex.
Girl #2: That's what happened when I had gonorrhea.
Guy at next table: Wow. Those girls were pretty hot before I heard that... I have to stop eavesdropping.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at McGill | STDs | Posted 2007-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'm Just Going to Assume It's Jesse Jackson
Lady #1: ... And I don't even know who the daddy is!
Lady #2: That's hilarious!
B. Dalton - College Square Mall
Cedar Falls, Iowa
Overheard by: Darcy
Categories: Iowa | Ladies who lunch | Parenting | Pregnancy | Posted 2007-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Small Doses, Obviously
Drunk girl: That is so funny, because I love underprivileged children!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ad'a
Categories: Drunks | Jobs & Careers | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Real World Cast Members Have No Goddamn Respect
Crazy lady: Oh, no! Those teenagers did not just steal my outhouse!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Aristide
No Ice Cream for Anybody
Mom: We can't have ice cream. You just had candy at the movie.
Little girl: Mom, you are such a gutter-skank.
Mom, flabbergasted: What did you say?! What did you call me?! Where did you hear that term?!
Little girl: Dad.
Capitol Street
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Total Gutterskank
Categories: California | Glad the condom broke | Insults | Moms | Parenting | Words | Posted 2007-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Give Your Brother CPR While I Call an Ambulance
Mom to daughter: See? That's why we don't laugh in this family -- you go and suffocate on your own vomit!
Portland, Oregon
I'm Saving Conversation for the Right Woman
Dude #1: Yeah, I go to gay bars sometimes.
Dude #2: Really? So, are you saying you like guys?
Dude #1: No, I don't like guys, but when I go to gay bars I just dance with them and flirt with them. It's not like I have conversations with them.
Dude #2: ... So then maybe you're bi?
Dude #1: No, I'm just a people person.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mr. Wtf?
Categories: Guys | Overheard in Philly | Sexuality | Posted 2007-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stop It, Lady, You're Making the Scientologists Look Right
Mom to five-year-old son who is standing quietly: Settle down before I have to give you another pill!
Line for a theme park ride
Florida
Overheard by: Kim
Scientists Are Investigating
Girl to friend: It's really weird -- every time I hang out with a guy, we end up having sex!
Angelo State University
San Angelo, Texas
Overheard by: adriana
If I'd Been Using a Fork They'd Be Extinct by Now
Drunk guy with pink hat: You guys should totally use chop sticks -- it's so pussy not to.
Hippie, light-heartedly: We're trying to save some trees.
Drunk guy with pink hat: Do you have any idea how many geese I killed today? 12.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard at Cornell | Words | Posted 2007-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And What of Its Host Organism?
Psych professor: I think it's a usable vagina.
University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I'd use it
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Vagina | Posted 2007-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Good Simile Is One We Can All Relate To
Drunk guy: That hurt so much -- like accidentally stapling your tongue to the wall.
São Paulo
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Posted 2007-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Gang War Thing -- You Wouldn't Understand
Student #1, pointing to notebook: If I ever become a famous rapper this is going to be my first album cover.
Student #2: Why? What is it?
Student #1: It's just a penguin on fire.
Student #2: A flaming penguin -- nice!
Student #1, matter-of-factly: I fucking hate penguins...
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Animals | Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Students | Posted 2007-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But What's Better Than Being Desired by Men You Despise?
Girl with glasses: Yeah, so ever since I got these glasses hipster guys keep hitting on me.
Friend: So? What's wrong with hipster guys?
Girl with glasses: Eh, nothing really. It's just, you know, you're living in Albuquerque -- how hip can you be?
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Categories: Chicks | Insults | New Mexico | Posted 2007-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Talk with Your Mouth Full
Loud girl: My vagina's so damn talkative sometimes... I just wanna be like, 'Shut up, coochie!'
Queen's University
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The Vagina Whisperer
It's the Only Possible Explanation
Little girl: Why did she get remarried? Did she forget?
Alaska
Categories: Alaska | Glad the condom broke | Questions | Posted 2007-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Who'll Be the Man in the Yellow Hat?
Queer guy to queer friend: I'll be the monkey if you'll be the old lady.
Melbourne
Australia
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Australia | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Queers | Roleplay | Posted 2007-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, We've Revised the Script and Now It's Hamsters
Girl: You know -- that thing where you have a fetish for albinos...?
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: Kink | Massachusetts | Students | Posted 2007-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, Same Question for "Penis"
Skater punk: Wait -- uterus like the planet, or in your body?
San Francisco, California
Categories: Punks | San Francisco | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2007-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Glory Be to God for Dappled Things
Chick: ... So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning...
London
England
Overheard by: gin
By the Way, Sorry about Scaring Your Daughter Like That
Bathroom-bound tech woman: Are you following me? Not that many people follow me at my age.
Tech guy: No. I'm more of the 'call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house' kind of guy.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: 2catchapredator
Categories: Coworkers | Creepsters | Euphemisms | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When I Finally Located My Pants
Chick: Man, last time I had feathers left in my pants.
Gateway High School
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
He Eat Brains! ... Oh, Wait
Lady with mic: Nothing is more powerful than Jesus! He die; he get up!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lab
Categories: Jesus | Overheard in PDX | Religious fanatics | Posted 2007-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whereas She's Only Crazy If She Expects an Answer
Woman to her dog, as other dogs bark at them: They're crazy.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Animals | Crazies | Overheard in Lake County | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then You Get the Lifetime Channel
Quiet girl: Girls are like, 'Let's play house,' boys are like, 'Let's fight each other,' and you put them together and you get domestic abuse.
Language in Society class
Maryland
Categories: Maryland | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And If Anything Tastes Like Heroin, It's Your Jizz
Man smoking grape shisha out of a hookah: I don't think I like that one. It tastes just like heroin.
Girlfriend: You can't just go around saying things taste like heroin!
Virginia
Girl: Yeah, Three Strokes and Out, WTF?
Guy #1: I totally told her I wasn't with anyone else on my cruise, but I clearly slept with another girl!
Guy #2: Victory!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: shannon
Categories: Infidelity | Jerks | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But They Don't Know You Like I Do
Anorexic chick: I'm fat, aren't I? Everyone knows it, too.
Friend: You're not as fat as everyone says.
Irvine Spectrum
Orange County, California
Categories: Anorexics | California | Diet & weight | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Four Legs: Good. George Clooney's Acting: Baaad.
MBA guy: Did you see that George Clooney's pig died?
MBA gal: I'll be his pig if he wants. Oink, oink!
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Categories: About celebrities | Coworkers | Death & dying | Overheard at KMC | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not before I'm Old Enough to Spend It on Hookers and Blow
Little kid in leather jacket to random man lighting cigarette: Nooo! Stop! Poison! I am too rich to die!
North Carolina
Categories: Glad the condom broke | North Carolina | Smoking | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Quoth the Raven: "Jackass."
College dude #1: What are those birds that fucking talk?
College dude #2: Parrots?
College dude #1: No, that's what my teacher said... Ravens! That's right!
College dude #2: Ravens talk? That's like Edgar Allen Poe shit or something.
College dude #1: No, dude, they for real only say like one word, though.
College dude #2, imitating a raven: Aquafina!
College dude #1: Yeah, dude! 'Aquafina!' Only I'd make mine say, 'Radiator.'
www.overheardinpittsburgh.com
Categories: Birds | Idiots | Overheard in Pittsburgh | Words | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hailing a Cab Is No Picnic
Dude #1: Man, this is hard.
Dude #2: So, do you use one hand or two?
Highway 16
La Crosse, Wisconsin
And If You're Asking Who's a Better Rationalizer...
Girl to friends: I mean, if you're talking about who he's technically going out with, then she's the girlfriend and I'm the other woman. But, I mean... If you're talking about who he confides in more, I'm the girlfriend and she's the other woman.
Dobbs Ferry, New York
Overheard by: Lex
Categories: Chicks | New York | Philosophy | Relationships | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And If You Like Him, Like, More Than a Friend
Employee to customer: Excuse me, my boss wants to know if you're a transvestite.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: Employees | Gender issues | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Need to Know If I Should Be Arresting You
Drunk woman: I like gay porn!
Nearby lady: Male or female?
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Drunks | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Porn | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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