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Unless You Like Zima
Dude to two chicks: So, my friends are really nice... Just don't accept any drinks from them.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: nate
Categories: Advice | Creepsters | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? I Couldn't See It behind Your Asscheeks
Sorority pledge #1 walking in on another: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Don't worry, I didn't see anything.
Sorority pledge #2: Haha, it's okay, I don't care -- I have a thong on.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: victoria's true secret
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Undies | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spigot
Dude #1: My urine is probably clearer than the water coming out of the shower. My penis is like a Brita, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: So I'm practically peeing holy water.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | New York | Pee | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And a Great White
Bimbette #1: Ewww, you did Brandon? Why? He's so ugly!
Bimbette #2: He had a pet shark...
Climbing gym
Virginia
But You Can Have a Nose-Head, Like in Those Allergy Commercials
Sensible chick to dude: Look, you can only have one dick, and it can't be your entire body.
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bob
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Stanford | Penis | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I Can Dig Up Some Gay Porn to Support That Thesis
Hippie student: So, did the oil man and thong man work together?
Professor: One could only hope.
Archaeology class
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel
Just Keep Watering It, Sweetie
Little girl: Mom, why don't I have a hairy butt like you?
Bathroom, AA flight 329
Categories: Airports & flights | Ass | Glad the condom broke | Hair | Questions | Restroom | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Being Able to Pee in a Cup Is the Whole Test, Right?
Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]
Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Frat boy types | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Suggest You Do Further Research
Stoner kid #1: I don't eat anything that used to be alive. Well, except eggs. And hamburger, you know, because of the cows.
Stoner kid #2: And cake!
Stoner kid #1: Yeah, cake.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: The RQ
Scary Up-on-the-Cross-Why'd-You-Do-This-to-Me Jesus
Girl #1: I was up until two a.m. last night. I'm so tired.
Girl #2: Why were you up so late?
Girl #1: I was talking to Jesus.
Girl #2: Oh, which one?
Wisconsin
And Who Grooms Me
Dude: I'm so glad I have a code monkey as a roommate so I don't have to live with someone who--
Code monkey roommate, interrupting: --Is happy?
Dude: Exactly.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Friends | Happiness | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, Economics Really Is a Dismal Science
Really happy college chick: So many people will die. You know why? The demons are hungry. When you die they eat your soul. They're hungry and they aren't happy about it, so people have to die.
Route 16 bus
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wishing I had chosen a different seat
Categories: Crazies | Evil | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Han Solo: Nothing I Do Will Ever Be Enough
Virgin: He has to save the universe! Do you know what that's like? Do you know what that feels like? No! Because you're not Luke Skywalker!
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Movies | Overheard at Stanford | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Practice Prohibited by a Scalia Decision
3L law student: He's just irritating. He's like one of those people who masturbates to Scalia decisions.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Insults | Masturbation | Overheard in Law School | Students | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Knew You Didn't Have Mono Last Year
Grad student trying to impress a date: Pigeon shit is the most toxic bird poop.
Date: How do you know that?!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel
Categories: Birds | Overheard at Cornell | Poop | Students | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means
MBA #1 whispering: Every time [the professor] says, 'investment of comparable risk,' don't you feel like he is saying, 'rodents of unusual size'? Like in The Princess Bride?
MBA #2: You don't like Accounting, do you?
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Categories: Class | Education | Movies | Overheard at KMC | Students | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay, Now's Not the Time. Fine.
Nerd #1: You know, we never really have to grow up. We just have to know when to act like we're actually adults.
Nerd #2 with laptop: Shut up, I'm watching Batman: The Animated Series.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Laptops | Overheard at Cornell | TV shows | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's at Least Half Right
Sleepy girl: Sex is overrated... but sleep isn't.
Rockhampton, Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: shex
Categories: Australia | Chicks | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing to Offer but Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat
Goth girl: My vagina's sweating.
Goth boy: They really do that? I thought it was a myth. Man, I'm glad I don't have one of those.
Congress Avenue and Barton Springs Road
Austin, Texas
Nah, Just Another Psychotic Break
The pilot is sitting in the cockpit making clicking noises and singing in a falsetto voice.
Flight attendant: Are you high?
On the runway
Dulles, Virginia
Overheard by: first class is scary
Categories: Airports & flights | Flight attendants | Questions | Virginia | Posted 2007-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can We Meet to Talk about This?
Blonde on cell: So I called her up and asked her why she was so mad at me, and she was like, 'You called me, like, five hundred times when I was with Alan, and I think you're a creepy stalker. And I talked about it with him and he thinks you're a stalker, too.' And I was like, 'You really think I'm some sort of lesbian stalker?! Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed!'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Categories: On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Sexuality | Posted 2007-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken
Five-year-old girl, happily: ... And then I did it! I peed right in my pants!
Mom: Honey, you shouldn't be proud of something like that. You should be embarrassed.
Five-year-old girl, even happier: Oh, okay! I'm embarrassed!
Whole Foods
Hadley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Categories: Massachusetts | Moms | Pee | Should have used a condom | Stores | Posted 2007-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Just Holding That Wall for a Friend
Lady hobo: Man, you is the biggest crackhead I ever met.
Giant hobo, muttering incoherently: No, man, I ain't no crackhead. I ain't no crackhead.
Lady hobo: Nigga, you smoke drywall!
Atlanta, Georgia
And What Are We? Posers!
Mom: That's Hollister. Remember what I told you about Hollister?
Toddler girl: Hollister.
Mom: Hollister is for po-sers.
Toddler girl: Posers.
Mom: Po-sers.
Toddler girl, giggling excitedly: Posers!
Garden State Plaza
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sar
Categories: Fashion | Glad the condom broke | Insults | Moms | New Jersey | Posted 2007-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's a Hard Worker, and You Don't Have to Pay Him Scale
Leather-clad guy to another: I'll lend you my iguana. It'll save you money.
Sheffield
England
Overheard by: chris
Categories: Animals | Creepsters | England | Money | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Seems to Be Rather Solidly Attached, Though
Teen girl: I know! It's the same with my uterus. I just want to rip it out sometimes.
Covington, Washington
Overheard by: Trevor
Categories: Teens | Uterus | Washington | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That Was Our First Physics Lab
Chick to friend: ... So I stuck my fingers up her nose, and I got a free nose ring out of it!
Vassar campus
Poughkeepsie, New York
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Gossip | New York | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is the Gold Standard for Nastiness
Screaming hobo: Your mouth is nasty! Your mouth is nasty, man! Your mouth is nastier than my asshole!
Shattuck Avenue and Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Categories: California | Hobos | Insults | Mouth | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One of Sisyphus's Lesser-Known Tasks in Hell
Woman on cell: I got a million panty liners. You can line your panties until the end of time!
Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Gossip | On the phone | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Something Was Put in That Wasn't There Before?
Wide-eyed girl #1 exiting class: Did he just--?
Wide-eyed girl #2: --Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #1: But wha--?
Wide-eyed girl #2: --I feel dirty.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #2: Do you... Uh, wait.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Did we just get mind-fucked?
Wide-eyed girl #2: I think so.
Arkansas State University
Jonesboro, Arkansas
Overheard by: What the hell just happened?!
Categories: Arkansas | Colleges & Universities | Education | Students | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and the Jar of Lube He Keeps Waving Around
Queer: Oh my god, did you see Andy in that hat?
Fag hag: Yeah!
Queer: Doesn't he know that a cowboy hat that big is an unequivocal call for anal sex?
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Fag hags | Fashion | Queers | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Guess You Could, Like, Help Stop the Burning
Bimbette #1: I would love to be a fireman! You work, like, three days a week, and when you're there you can just, like, sit and watch the news until the fire alarm goes off!
Bimbette #2: Yeah, but you'd have to watch people's houses burn down.
Bimbette #1: Yeah... That'd be, like, really depressing.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Categories: Bimbettes | Jobs & Careers | Minnesota | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Need to Know What to Call What I'm Up To
Girl: Isn't that called 'sodomy'? Or is that when you shit on someone?
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tracey
Categories: Chicks | Overheard in College Park | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fisher-Price Introduces the Backyardigans Butt Plug
Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don't. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!
Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: keller-wish i'd gotten there fifteen seconds earlier
Largely Involving Your Vagina
Angry girl: I don't want any sluts at my table!
Friend, calmly: Well, I guess I should move, then.
Angry girl: You're not a slut. You just make... odd choices.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Vastly Amused
Categories: Euphemisms | Friends | Tennessee | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mentos and Money
Lady: I don't like her. She smells like the bottom of someone's purse.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Biotechs | Insults | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Says Human Rights Organizations Don't Appeal to the Masses?
Girl: I save Soviet Jews. I win valuable prizes!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Crazies | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Now I've Got This Sore or Whatever
Girl #1: So I was, like, in this hot tub with this guy, and we're, like, making out or whatever.
Girl #2: Uh-huh...
Girl #1: And then I go, 'What's your name?' And I think he said something, but I was like, 'Whatever.'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: alex b.
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Foreplay | Names | New York | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ask Your Doctor about Cialis
13-year-old punk girl: I've seen you somewhere before.
Punk guy: Probably. I sell drugs.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Categories: Drugs | Pennsylvania | Punks | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Willing to Defend the Moral Low Ground against All Comers
Bimbette: I don't know what his problem is. Columbus Day? Like, whatever, it's a day off. I would celebrate Saddam Hussein Day if I got a day off.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sitt
Categories: Bimbettes | Holidays | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Know What I Mean
Professor: That's what people in Paris did on Sunday afternoons -- they walked their ostriches.
Vermont
Look at It, Sitting There in That Box, Plotting, Plotting...
Man: Styrofoam... Just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: aaron
Categories: Crazies | Fears | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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