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Not That It Does Much Good
Dude #1: So, what are you in?
Chick: Physiology, but I'm taking physics and anatomy.
Dude #2: Shit! So you get to go to the morgue and stuff?
Chick: Yeah! I love it!
Dude #1: Do you have to touch their privates?!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Body parts | Creepsters | Education | Overheard at McGill | Questions | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I Just Shot a Blank
Kid #1: This was the thing that made your penis hurt.
Kid #2: That was when I was littler.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: diana
Categories: Kids | Overheard Lines | Penis | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, You'll Be Ready Next Time
Freshman girl #1: I met a boy in a kilt on Friday. I wish I would have had sex with him.
Freshman girl #2: Yeah, kilts are hot.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sorostitute
Categories: Chicks | Fashion | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can, but They're Kinda Like Taffy
Nurse: Okay, it's time to push the baby out. Take a deep breath, hold it, and push! One, two, three... That was an awesome push! I want you to do the same thing with the next contraction, okay?
Baby daddy: Why are you making her do this?
Nurse: Ummm, to get the baby out.
Baby daddy: Are you kidding me? How long do you expect her to do it?
Nurse: Until the baby comes out.
Baby daddy: This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Can't you just pull it out or something?
Labor and Delivery unit
Bakersfield, California
Categories: Birthing | California | Guys | Nurses | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pictures at an Exhibitionist
Creepster: Do you mind if I show him a picture of you?
Cute girl: What picture?
Creepster: Catholic school girl.
Cute girl: You still have that?!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bevans
Categories: Creepsters | Overheard at Cornell | Roleplay | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aren't You a Little Old to Be Riding on the Tea Cups?
Chick: Hey, how was your reading week?
Dude: Okay. I just went home, did nothing. How was yours?
Chick: It was good. I went to Florida.
Dude: Yeah, I saw some pic---tures... [Awkward silence.] Well, I'll see ya.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: alex
Categories: Internet | Overheard at Western | Students | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Usually Ask You to Do It for Them
Sorostitute: Hey, you guys, can police just, like, pull cars over?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pineapple girl
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Self-Exam Footage Is Going to Save Lives
Chick: If someone as good-looking as my brother is talking about your vagina, you're doing something right.
Waffle House
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Stephanie
Lycopenes Seemed Important at the Time
Chick: It was a bad night... I was drunk... and high... and I ate half a bottle of ketchup.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: xcuterboix
Categories: Chicks | Drinking & drunks | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now, Here Are the Answers for Tomorrow's Ethics Test
Person #1: But isn't that lying?
Person #2: Don't worry about it, it's only for your security clearance.
Shout-out: www.overheardquote.com
Categories: Coworkers | Jobs & Careers | Lies | Overheard Quote | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Steam. Got It.
Client: We need a giant steam head rising above the booth.
Agency president: Why?
Client: Because people love steam. They're drawn to it. It's the power and magic of steam I'm talking about here!
Shout-out: adverbatims.blogspot.com
Categories: AdVerbatims | Clients | Technology | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Rare Spotting of the Tufted Gay Hobo
Hobo: Hey, man, can you spare a quarter?
Suit: Sure. Here you go.
Hobo: Thanks. [Calling after suit] I like your outfit!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Clothing | Compliments | Hobos | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Suspect Your Testimony Is Biased
Lesbian: ... So then she freaked out and her vagina got so tight it bruised my finger.
Queer pal: See? More proof that vaginas can't be trusted.
Border's
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Protogarrett
Categories: California | Gossip | Lesbos | Queers | Vagina | Posted 2007-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Pitch This to the Americans -- They'll Love It!
Lady on cell: Yes, I need to know what kind of an exhibition it will be, otherwise I'm not going to run it... Well, I'm not interested in people burping on each other or feeling each other up -- that's just a little weird... Well, yes, it makes up a part of my personality too, but not a very large or important one.
Univeristy of Melbourne
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Burping & farting | Colleges & Universities | On the phone | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Posted 2007-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pass the Bong Back to Me before We Discuss This Further
Bimbette: There was racism because when the English were being mean to the Irish people.
Dude: Ummm, English and Irish people are both Caucasian. Technically, they're the same race.
Bimbette: No, Irish people have red hair.
Inattentive TA: That's an interesting point.
Overheard at York
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at York | Race | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Old Good Cock/Bad Cock Routine
Chatty lady: So, did I tell you I was getting married?
Man: That's great. I'm happy for you.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I'm having a hard time giving up my old boyfriend, though. He really understands the way I like to be dominated in bed. The sex is just sooo good, I'm not sure I can stop seeing him.
Man: Uhhh, yeah, I guess I can understand that.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I guess I'm just in a monogamous relationship with two men.
Birmingham, Alabama
When He Didn't Respond I Unfriended Him
Nerd: So, what do you think of Hitler?
Overheard at York
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | History | Overheard at York | Posted 2007-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your College Tuition Was Money Well Spent
Father: We went to the titty bar all the time when we were in Canada.
20-ish daughter: I wish you wouldn't use the word 'titty.'
Father: Why not? Titty, titty, titty. Titty, titty, titty.
20-ish daughter: Cock, cunt, pussy, balls, dick.
Father: Point proven.
Connecticut
Overheard by: JPatrick
Categories: Connecticut | Dads | Words | Posted 2007-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's See What the Old E-meter Has to Say
Girlfriend: I swear I told you.
Boyfriend: No, you didn't.
Girlfriend, exasperated: Look, if I was lying then my hands would fall off. See? They're still on, so I'm not lying.
Boyfriend: I don't think that's a valid argument.
UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Suzie
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Liars | Lies | Posted 2007-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Little Stab Wound and You Pussy Out?
Dude to buddies: You're going to spend our hooker money on a cab?
Shout-out: www.overheardinvancouver.ca
Categories: Guys | Money | Overheard in Vancouver | Posted 2007-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, Where Have You Been for the Last 2000 Years?
Genius: ... And that's how I know Jesus is crazy.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Crazies | Jesus | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're a Real Gentleman
Dude: I think I should wait until she has breasts.
Shout-out: www.overheardinvancouver.ca
Overheard by: david
Categories: Creepsters | Overheard in Vancouver | Rack | Posted 2007-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Slutty Dance Major, Perhaps
Chick #1: I don't want to run into anyone I know in here.
Chick #2: Why not?
Chick #1: I don't want anyone to think I am a business major!
Shout-out: www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com
Categories: Education | Overheard in Charlottetown | Students | Posted 2007-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Told Him to Burn Things
Teen girl: He was lying on my boobs and he said he could hear them talking.
Salem Center Mall
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Tess Miller
The Blowjob Bunny Makes Her Rounds
Drunk chick: Look, this is going to take five seconds. I just want to say hi, suck him off, and then we can leave.
Shout-out: greenoverheard.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: BJs | Drunks | So College | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For You, No. But Me?
Chick: So, first of all, I'm allergic to mango skin. So sticking one up my vagina just wouldn't work.
Shout-out: greenoverheard.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Kink | So College | Vagina | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gotta Watch Your Bacchantes Every Minute
Man: So, like, an hour later I found them -- finally -- dancing around in a little circle for some drunk guy!
Rundle Street
Adelaide
South Australia
Overheard by: Jimmy Bean
I Lost Big in Pitch-and-Toss
Nerdy chick: The only time you did anything slutty was when you had sex with that carny on my kitchen floor.
Party, Western Michigan University
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Michigan | Sex | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, Pfizer!
60-year-old dad to son while leaving restaurant: Thanks for joining us for lunch. It was good. Now I can go home and spread my seed.
Chinese restuarant, 5 Mile and Merriman Road
Livonia, Michigan
Categories: Cum | Dads | Michigan | Restaurants | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Only Japanese She Knows Involves Gummy Candies
Girl #1: Did you know that the Playtex tampon headquarters are located in Dover, Delaware?
Girl #2: Did you wikipedia it? I'm a Tampax gal, myself.
Girl #1: No, I read it on my box of Playtex sport. I was learning French by translating the toxic shock warning labels.
Girl #2: You're my favorite.
Art Institute of Philadelphia
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Chicks | Pennsylvania | US Geography | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Doing Our Part to Discourage Self-Righteousness
Dude #1: So, I guess they're selling coffee and samosas or whatever in that hallway in McConnell again.
Dude #2: Oh yeah? That's usually pretty cheap. Hey, is it for charity?
Dude #1: Yeah, I think so.
Dude #2: Oh. Well, fuck that, then.
Dude #1: Seriously.
Shout-out: overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Food | Jerks | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Couldn't
Frat boy: We are Ivy League educated men -- we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: maria
Categories: Fashion | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Anyway, He Killed Himself to Spite Me
Girl #1: Oh my god, so remember how Ben stopped talking to me and I was pissed but now I'm totally over it and whatever? Well, it turns out that what I didn't know was that his mother was dying and he was held up at knife point for like 20 minutes and was going through post-traumatic stress... And then I went home for reading week and didn't call him because I thought he wasn't talking to me, and that was apparently, like, the straw that broke the camel's back -- like, he really needed me and I wasn't there for him or something.
Girl #2: Wow. It's like, 'Thanks for making me feel like a total bitch.'
Girl #1: I know!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Bringing it back to you | Gossip | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know, the Old Testament God Is a Real Dick
Art history TA: This print depicts the sacrifice of Isaac, which is a biblical story where God told Abraham to kill his first-born son.
Bimbette: Oh. My. God. That's... terrible! That's almost as bad as a girl telling her boyfriend that he needs to get rid of his dog because she's allergic.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mary
Categories: Bimbettes | Class | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Just Know That's His Porn Name
Chick: So, what are your irrational fears?
Dude: Well, I'm afraid of that song. You know, the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt one. I mean, 'that's my name, too'? What does that mean?! I mean, think about it's larger sociological implications. That just freaks me out.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Music | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Presenting the Sovereign Cure for Moral Uplift
Chick: Well, as I was writing this massive document I kept thinking about that thing about how you eat an elephant...
Dude: How?
Chick: One bite at a time.
Dude: Ahhh. You know how you bury a giraffe?
Chick: No, how?
Dude: You cut it up with a chainsaw.
Chick: [Silence.]
Dude: I saw pictures from the zoo when they had to cut one up.
Chick: They took pictures?!
Dude: Yeah... I'm not sure why.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Gossip | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Interrupting Our Tequila Shot Rotation
Student: Is 'too' an adverb?
English professor: Why do you care?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: maria
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're Too Drunk to Drive
Chick on cell: Well, the cadaver table is the only big thing that has to be moved. I'll take the snakes in my car.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: johanna
Categories: Animals | On the phone | Overheard in Vancouver | Posted 2007-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Italian 101 Textbooks Are Getting More and More Useless
Italian professor: Once, I put an octopus into a boy's underwear.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Animals | Gossip | Overheard at BU | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Medea Didn't Listen, Though, and the Gods Punished Her with a Rash
Dude: Tell your sister I won't sleep with her if she shaves her pubic hair. That shit is like the golden fleece, yo.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Angie
Categories: Frat boy types | Overheard in the Valley | Shaving | Posted 2007-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Breathing Is So '90s
Hipster: I want to start spitting, so I've decided to take up smoking.
Canadia
Otherwise No One Will Believe Me
White basketball coach at end of middle school game: Wait... Wait! Don't let any black people leave. I need to take their picture!
Ohio
Overheard by: A rare sighting
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