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After the "Yule Log" Incident, I Can Never Be Sure
Happy man: Fred* and I really had fun last night. We fed Stumpy a cupcake!
Friend, after long pause: Christ, I hope that's not a euphemism...
Chicago, Illinois
Girl Squirrel: Oh No She Didn't!
Angry chick: Why did God create men? They're stupid!
Friend: 'Cause we need their sperm to procreate.
Angry chick: Well, he could've just had us fuck squirrels instead. I dunno...
Friend: What?!
Angry chick: Eh... It's better than the alternative! They're sooo damn cute!
Friend: Oh, wow.
Iowa
Overheard by: ewww
Categories: Animals | Creepsters | Iowa | Sex | Posted 2007-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, Instead of Lab Equipment, I've Purchased Myself Extra Scotch
Poli-Sci professor putting a picture of a panda bear on overhead projector: Well, normally we'd talk about the syllabus right now, but our department's so cheap they couldn't print a syllabus for each of you, so I'll show you a picture of a panda instead.
Shout-out: www.overheardinathens.com
Categories: Class | Education | Overheard in Athens | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Not Be Upstaged by a Rabbit
Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!
Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Pretty sure she's been to the theater before
Categories: Advice | Glad the condom broke | Pennsylvania | Toys | Posted 2007-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Perhaps the Ham-Reward-System Is Not the Best Studying Strategy
Chick: Today sucks. I failed my math test and I smell like meat products.
Arizona
Why the Bible's Endured
Kid: Mom, what's the last supper? Why is it called 'The Last Supper'?
Mom: Because it's the last meal Jesus had with his disciples.
Kid: Awesome!
Mom: ... Before one of his disciples betrayed him and he was killed.
Kid: Awesome!
Target
North Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Johnny Utah
Categories: Connecticut | Jesus | Kids | Moms | Stores | Posted 2007-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, You're Mommy's Little Miracle
Toddler boy in stall with mom: I'm done!
Mom: Are you sure? Why are you doing that? Don't pull on it!
Toddler boy: Daddy does it all the time!
Border Grill
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Smooph
Categories: California | Gossip | Kids | Masturbation | Moms | Restroom | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Her Gentle Way of Saying, "You Give Shitty Head"
Large man: You need a back rub?
Girl rubbing shoulder in pain: I'm fine, thanks.
Large man: I give great massages. My mama says it's better than a orgasm.
MUNI bus
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Categories: Creepsters | Family ties | Gossip | San Francisco | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Having Some Now
Geek: Yeah, I'm a big geek, but I still really like sex.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Eavesdrop DC | Sex | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Messy, Uncomfortable, and Potentially Fatal
Girl: I honestly think anal sex is just as bad as fucking a guy with a girlfriend.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Overheard in Lake County | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Americans with Disabilities Act Says They Are Hot
Scholar: Handicapped people would be hot if they could, like, use their legs and stuff.
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Idiots | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So There Goes That Idea for Our Diorama
Dude: There's no way my mom's vagina could be the Suez Canal.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: JP
I'm More of a Cammy Fan, Myself
Geek #1: I would totally do Chun-Li.
Geek #2: Dude, she's a fictional video game character...
Geek #1: I don't care, she's smoking hot.
Geek #2: Whatever, she's only 16-bit.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: eric
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wonder What She's Thinking Of
Teen girl #1: Do you know what epidermis is?
Teen girl #2: No, but I've heard of it before.
Teen girl #1: What do you think it is?
Teen girl #2: I think it's got something to do with ski lifts.
Breckenridge Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
Mmm, Sacrilicious
Stoner: That's like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
All I Have to Do Is Stand in a Phone Booth and Take Off My Glasses
Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You're starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.
Steakhouse
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Poor Bastard
Categories: Advice | Bragging | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except behind the Scenes, Where All the Decisions Are Made
Mexican girl: I feel sorry for white people. They're not allowed to use stereotypes.
San José State University
San José, California
Overheard by: Cracker
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Mexicans | Pity | Posted 2007-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think He's Getting Ready to Say, "I Love You"
Chick #1: So, you guys might move in together?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: I didn't know you were that serious.
Chick #2: Well, I had his abortion, so yeah, I guess we're pretty serious.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Abortion | Chicks | Overheard in Lake County | Relationships | Posted 2007-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Keep Bringing Them Home for Me
Muscle gal: You are such a fuckin' pussy.
Muscle guy: Fuck that, I could take a seven-foot black man.
Muscle gal: Awww, I know.
West County YMCA
St. Louis, Missouri
Hamburgers, That's How
Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It's pronounced 'chaos.'
Truman College
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Class | Foreigners | Illinois | Language barrier | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mission: Impossible III Is Quite a Disappointment
Man: That was the most secure Mexican bathroom I've ever seen.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: didn't bother to find out
Categories: Cleanliness | Guys | San Francisco | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Also That I, Like, Have a License to Practice Medicine
Chick on cell: I mean, I feel kind of dumb, like, registering to vote and, like, not knowing what's going on and then, like, voting anyway. But, I mean, it's cool that I can vote.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unfortunately, He Caught Me at My Crustiest
Girl on cell: So I said, 'If I knew you were going to be videotaping it, I would have showered.'
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Bathing | Colleges & Universities | Delaware | On the phone | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which in Turn Depends on Whether You Speak English or Not
Sororitard to business classmates: Well, I guess it depends whether you consider a dog a person or not...
Alabama
Overheard by: liz
Categories: Alabama | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Make Most of My Profit on the Overseas Release
Drunken wedding guest to videographer going from table to table: Zach*, I want to wish you and Jenny* many years of happiness, and I hope you get as much pleasure out of fucking her as I did.
Other guests at table: Erase that! Erase that!
Videographer: Are you kidding? This is like gold!
Roslyn Jewish Center
Roslyn Heights, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Categories: Drunks | New York | Sloppy seconds | Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, That Was Me!
Man: Did I ever tell you about the time that a tick got stuck under the foreskin of my friend's penis?
Port-A-Potty
Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com
Categories: Friends | Gossip | Penis | Weirdos of Winnipeg | Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... And That's How I Landed My First Bellhop
Loud preppy undergrad: So I said to him, 'Either you sleep with me or you clean the sheets.'
Alexander's Restaurant
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Health & Hygiene | Preppies | Restaurants | Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Our "Paddles" Are Just Irons with Strings Attached, Anyway
Walkie-talkie of student EMT #1: Two-car motor vehicle accident, minor injuries...
Student EMT #2: Dude... How far away is that? We should go... I'm bored.
Student EMT #1: Nah, let's get some ice cream.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: scott
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Haha, Sucker
Mom: You better put that jacket on.
Little boy: No!
Mom: You better put that jacket on or you are going to get sick and then when Santa comes you will get him sick and then there will be no Christmas because you got him too sick to work and all the little boys and girls in the world will hate you. [Little boy puts jacket on.]
Utah
Overheard by: Bryn
Categories: Moms | Santa Claus | Threats | Utah | Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, One of Those Parties
Drunk teen: ... Then it just turned into one zombie fellating the other zombie...
Wisconsin
No, You Sicko... He Was Just Jerking Off
Panicky chick: Did you make eye contact with a man pissing in an alley?!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Pee | Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You'll Refer to This Pie Chart...
Frat boy: All of my plans involve either money or pussy.
Starbucks, E Street
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Vagina | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might Have Something to Do with Money
Chick looking at Bratz dolls: What happened to Barbie? Who are these people? Why are they trying to sell my five-year-old sister a doll that looks like a prostitute?
Target
Mount Vernon, New York
The Blonde Leading the Blonde
Woman #1: How do you spell 'rarely'?
Woman #2: R-A-I-R-L-E-E... Here, maybe I should fill that out.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: office dog
Categories: Doctor's office | Idiots | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Was Making Out with Steve!
Guy #1: Dude, she was holding my hand and making out with Michelle at the same time.
Guy #2: Nice.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Overheard at Loyola | Posted 2007-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini? Really?
Chick #1, about techno music blasting from shop: What does this song make you think of?
Chick #2: Being stabbed repeatedly in the eye with a rusty nail.
Chick #1: [Silence.]
Chick #2: What about you?
Chick #1: Discos...
Sawnston Street and Flinders Street
Australia
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