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You Said That about My Leg, and It's Still Broken
Dude #1: I have a really bad headache.
Dude #2: You know what cures that? Sodomy!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Headaches | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Only a Hall-of-Famer If You Still Scored
Guy #1: Dude, I'm really embarrassed. Last night I peed in her roommate's closet.
Guy #2: Hall of fame! That's hall of fame material!
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | Gossip | Overheard at Loyola | Pee | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Neocons Hate Being Called That
Frisbee girl #1 [of five in a circle]: Hey, we form the points of a pentagon! We could do some serious magic here!
Frisbee girl #2, to others: Please forgive her, she just joined a cult.
Idaho
Usually before Naming Them
Boyfriend: I can't believe you weren't there for me when I had to put my dog to sleep!
Girlfriend: I'm sorry, honey. Where I come from, we eat our pets.
Grocery store
Union Lake, Michigan
Your Backpack, for Instance, Holds a Gram of Weak Pot
International Relations professor: If I was to go to San Diego, or any city I've never been to, give me 24 hours and I could tell you what, where, by whom, and how much the drugs are sold for... [Long pause] And, depending on the drug, perhaps even the quality.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Teachers | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Saving My Mouth for Marriage
Middle-aged woman to friend: I will text the shit out of your ass, but I will not leave you a voicemail!
The Premiere Grill
Valparaiso, Indiana
Categories: Indiana | Ladies who lunch | Restaurants | Texting | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Really Knew How to Make Me Feel at Home
Student: He called me a bitch. Only my mom calls me a bitch.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Names | Overheard in Law School | Students | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think Deep Down I Knew I Would Vomit on Him
Girl: This guy was really rude and annoying, so I decided to make out with him... I was really drunk and somehow that made sense.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Overheard at Loyola | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But My Foot Is My Foot, Okay?
Chick: I can't judge you for what you may or may not choose to stick up your vagina.
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Karla
Would You Like to Borrow My Slinky?
Girl #1: Yeah, and so I threw the Internet cord from the top of the fire escape down to the bottom instead of walking all the way down. It was pretty exciting.
Girl #2: Ummm, okay then...
Girl #1: Well, it was okay! It's like throwing a baby down the stairs -- you know you shouldn't, but you do it anyway!
Girl #2: Okay...
Illinois
Gerald Is Known for His Bizarre Summaries of M*A*S*H
Guy: It would be like The Hills Have Eyes, except with Koreans.
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: alyssa
Categories: Movies | Overheard in College Park | Students | Posted 2007-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Father! How Nice to See You Again
Guy on phone at leather bar: Yeah, I'm at a church social... doing the Lord's work. I'll be on my knees later.
San Francisco, California
Shout-out: overheardinsanfrancisco.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Kiko
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Liars | Lies | On the phone | Overheard in San Francisco | San Francisco | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Top 10 All Time Scorer on Grand Theft Auto
Guy at ID counter: I'm sorry. Don't shoot the messenger.
Old lady: I'd rather shoot the police...
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tom
Categories: Old folks | Overheard in College Park | Threats | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like What a Tonsillectomy Does to Your Singing Voice
Hubby: Man, when I trim my ass hair my farts sound weird!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Hair | Hubbies | Overheard in California's Journal | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Will It Make a Difference If He's Guatemalan?
Chick: Just imagine -- you go home and your mother has a hot Ecuadorian boy stashed in the back bedroom.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Gossip | Oklahoma | Students | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, AA!
Old lady: Nah, he stopped drinking. Now he's just high on the ecstasy... and a little bit of crack.
57 bus
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pretend I didn't really hear that
Categories: Drugs | Gossip | Old folks | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Remembers Who Started It? The Important Thing Is We're Going to Finish It
Five-year-old boy walking past deli: Awww... Why do they have to kill chickens?
Seven-year-old sister: Because the chicken is the natural enemy of man.
Maryland
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
Categories: Animals | Other sites | Philosophy | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do Other Guys Get All the Herpes?
Dude: It's weird... All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It's totally unfair.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Gripes | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unfortunately, There's Not Enough of Them to Go Around
Hipster girl: Communists love my boobs.
Kent, Ohio
Which, We're Guessing, Is Politics
Dude: I'm the kind of person who does what I do.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Bob
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yup, Bag Balm
Five-year-old girl in dressing room: Mommy, do you put lotion on your boobies?
Victoria's Secret
Oceanside, New York
Overheard by: Gette
Categories: New York | Questions | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Someone Needs to Hold Up the Score Cards
Grad student #1: Yeah, it is really hard. They have to wait and see how much, like, brain matter they share.
Grad student #2: What does the one twin do while the other twin has sex?
Grad student #1: I think he just lays there and is really uncomfortable.
Grad student #2: Awkward.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: llouie
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Sex | Students | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Be Considerate of the Rest of Us
Jock: No, dude, you totally have to use a condom with a plastic vagina.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hung
Categories: Advice | Condoms | Jocks | Overheard at Cornell | Vagina | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Crap, This One's a Tattoo!
Dude: Hey, man, do I have any more swastikas on my face? I tried to wash them all off...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: zak
Categories: Bathing | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Think of More Reasons Once I Start
Frat boy #1: I think I'm going to start doing cocaine instead of marijuana. I need to step it down a notch.
Frat boy #2: Uh, how is that stepping it down, exactly?
Frat boy #1: I dunno. I just think cocaine is more practical.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Categories: Drugs | Frat boy types | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
P Diddy: Just Call It 'Sampling'
Client to design agency, regarding their website: For simplicity's sake, we ripped off a few things.
Shout-out: adverbatims.blogspot.com
Categories: AdVerbatims | Clients | Office politics | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Like Taking an Exam in the Afterglow
Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That's what I'm going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now... [He leaves the room.]
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Maxwell
Categories: Class | Frat boy types | Masturbation | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is a Fancy Word That Means 'Requiring a Splint'
Sororitard: I mean, he has, like, clinical depression. That's like breaking your arm. It's, like, hereditary.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Still Be Motorboating Her If the EMTs Hadn't Intervened
Drunk frat boy: I don't care that she was three hundred pounds, she still had a phenomenal rack!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Drunks | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Rack | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Apparently I've Never Experienced 115 Degree Heat
Freshman girl: It's so much better when it's cold than it is when it's warm -- all you can do when it's 115 degrees out is sit around and air out your vagina flaps!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: broyhaha
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Students | Vagina | Weather | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Luckily She Had a Picture of Sammy Davis, Jr. in Her Wallet
Girl #1: It's such a shame. I mean, if only there was some semblance of religious tolerance...
Girl #2: I know. Muslims, Christians, Jews... It's all the same god, but different rules.
Girl #3: Wait, is a Muslim just a black Jew?
Girl #1: ... No. A black Jew is a Jewish person who is black. It's a different religion.
Girl #3: Oh. Okay. That's confusing.
Girl #2: No, no, it's really not.
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | New York | Religion | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then I'll Have Fewer Exams to Grade
Accounting professor: You should drink champagne and go swimming -- it's lots of fun. Once you're tipsy and get three to four feet underwater you have no idea which way's up.
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Class | Overheard at KMC | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
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