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Also the Argument Against the Nuclear Family
Guy: I wonder if any of these bombs are still functional. That way, we know where to go for supplies in the zombie apocalypse.
Girl: What? You idiot, you don't use nuclear power against zombies! They're already dead, so they can't get cancer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of radioactive zombies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it's just like Spiderman, but with radioactive zombies instead of Tobey Maguire and spiders!
Atomic Power Museum
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Amred
Categories: About celebrities | Animals | Girls | Guys | New Mexico | Stupidity | Zombies | Posted 2011-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Horror Porn Exists.
Nerdy girl to three friends: Of course you run the risk of showing your underpants, but in the face of zombies, I wouldn't mind so much.
University of King's College
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by:
Categories: Canadia | Clothes | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Weirdness | Zombies | Posted 2011-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Be Fair, This Is a Common Theme.
Blonde wife: You do realize that our son is going to tell his schoolmates that Jesus is either a zombie or a vampire. Then we are going to have to explain to his teacher that we are Jewish.
Asian husband: And that you are just bad at explaining things?
Houston, Texas
But With Slightly Less Dancing
Woman to girl: What exactly is a zombie? My son wants to know. Is it like a ghost?
Girl: A zombie is the living dead. A ghost is just a spirit, while a zombie is the dead body.
Woman: Like Michael Jackson?
Girl: Yes, like Michael Jackson.
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Categories: About celebrities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Maine | Parenting | Questions | Wishes | Women | Zombies | Posted 2010-07-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Know-- Are You Thinking Of Asking Me to Prom?
Sane-looking girl: Okay, so let's say that your boyfriend died a while back, right? Then he comes back as a zombie, like a real walking corpse. But he doesn't want to eat your brains or anything, he just wants to graduate high school and be your boyfriend again so he can go to prom with you. So, do you take him back?
Boy: Um... Has this actually happened to you?
High School Cafeteria
West Virginia
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Death & dying | Education | Girls | Guys | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Weirdness | West Virginia | Wishes | Zombies | Posted 2010-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As We Learned at the Scientology Convention
Dude: Well, maybe pickles are proto-zombies!
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: Food | Guys | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Zombies | Posted 2009-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Anything With Diane Keaton
Woman #1, coming out of movie theater: I want to see Zombieland when it comes out.
Woman #2: That's way too scary for you.
Woman #1: No, it's not!
Woman #2: You couldn't handle Coraline.
Woman #1: Because that movie is terrifying! (shudders)
Denver, Colorado
Like Romeo and Ghouliet or A Midsummer Night's Scream
Girl to guy: Most Shakespeare works could have totally been done with zombies!
Kennesaw State University, Georgia
Overheard by: Dr. Hypokrit
...Just Eat More Popcorn and You'll Be Fine
Guy #1: Dude, I wonder how Orville Redenbacher is still in all those commercials when he's been dead for, like, a bazillion years?
Guy #2: Maybe he's a zombie.
Guy #1: Or a robot.
Guy #3: Or a zombie robot.
Guy #1: Seriously, dude. I think you've been reading too much sci-fi.
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: About celebrities | Books | Death & dying | Guys | Questions | Washington | Zombies | Posted 2009-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil
English teacher, reading Hamlet: "To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come..." Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.
Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Education | Frat boy types | Murder | Pennsylvania | Questions | Stupidity | Teachers | Zombies | Posted 2009-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...and Rent All the Cool Cars
Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying "Run! Zombies!"? We'll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come...
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Family | Guys | Illinois | Offers and requests | Questions | Zombies | Posted 2009-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Anyway, Aliens Share a Hive Consciousness and Can't Die
Sophomore #1, during heated debate about zombie safety: Wait! What if there were alien zombies?
Sophomore #2: Shut up! We're talking about realistic stuff, here!
Theatre Class, Rossview High
Clarksville, Tennessee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Offers and requests | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Tennessee | Zombies | Posted 2009-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're Right Next the Megavitamins, Which Also Don't Work
Guy: I'm not going to stop and ask someone, "excuse me, where are your ray guns?"
CVS
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Religious Differences Are Best Resolved Before Marriage
Girlfriend: So, you don't believe in vampires, right?
Boyfriend: Nope.
Girlfriend: Okay, but do you believe in ghosts?
Boyfriend: No, I told you I don't believe in that stuff.
Girlfriend: But you at least believe in witches, right?
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend (exasperated): Now you're just being naive!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
Well Obviously
Film professor: Apparently in the 1970s the devil came to earth with the intention of occupying small women.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: David
Or "Freshmen"
Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those "zombies".
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
He Doesn't Go Very Far In
Young fashionista #1: How do you stay so positive?
Young fashionista #2: Oh, you know, I just don't let the bad stuff in.
Young fashionista #1: What about Pedro?
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: paparazzi
Categories: Brazil | Comebacks | Default | Hipsters | Office politics | Philosophy | Sex | Zombies | Posted 2008-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
