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With the Same Impure Love You Have for Hello Kitty
Hipster guy, earnestly: Yeah, you'll love her; her face is really funny!
16th & Market
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Body parts | Compliments | Default | Guys | Hipsters | Pennsylvania | Words | Posted 2008-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Recorded in My Memoirs: What What (The Unibutt!)
Skater guy: I'm not into the unibutt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it's like a unibrow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has affected my life.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
This Concludes My Essay on "Who I Admire Most"
High school student: She's a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: emily
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Insults | Overheard Lines | Students | Teens | Words | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From What Your Dad Tells Me
Overenthusiastic principal: So, where'd ya guys go for lunch? Huh?
Jaded student (indicating Subway cup): I ate fresh.
Principal: Did you go the 6 inch route? Or the 12 inch?
Student: I, uhhh... 6.
Principal, grinning: Don't worry, Shane* -I think you're man enough to take a 12-inch.
Livingston, Montana
So I'm Sorry I Did That, Amber
English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it's true.
Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Etiquette | Insults | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know This Wasn't Overheard in New York
Red-faced man, shouting furiously into cell: Now you listen to me you... (sees small children nearby) pluck-arsed parrot.
Gouger Street, Adelaide, South Australia
It Gave Me Extra Flotation, Like a Pool Noodle
Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn't that hurt your fluffy bits?
Memphis, Tennessee
...Is the Title of My Coffeehouse Bongo Piece
Guy: My life is one giant erection.
Attleboro, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Erections | Guys | Massachusetts | Words | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What the Hell Is Going on in Illinois?
Professor walking through the hall: Well I guess I'd have to be spanked then.
Asian grad student: That's why they're called "accidents"!
University of Illinois
Just Since the Gangbang
Woman: Wooo! It's wetter than a nymphomaniac in a gangbang out there.
Man: You've been waiting to say that for a long time, haven't you?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Questions | Sex | Washington | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As You Should Know All Too Well, Cuntrella
Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell that?
(silence)
Student: Looks like it's time to whip out the dic!
Teacher: Some words should *not* be shortened.
High School Classroom
Rhode Island
Categories: Default | Education | Questions | Rhode Island | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The FDA Has Less Influence Every Year
Woman: Do you have mothballs?
CVS employee: (after thinking for a few seconds) Is that a protein bar?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nana
Categories: Default | Offers and requests | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Head Cheerleaders Are Born, Not Made
Little kid in bathroom with grandmother: Poopies, yay, yay! Poopies, yay yay!
Arby's Bathroom
Howell, Michigan
Yes
Student: I bet half of the kids are still going to show up at the computer room.
Teacher: You think half of them will, or half of them won't?
East Meadow Drive
Palo Alto, California
Categories: California | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Right Up There with the Taoist Classic "C Is For Cookie-- Is Good Enough for Me"
Female voice over speakerphone: Maybe you shouldn't listen to me. I just reached into my glass of milk to retrieve a cookie that I accidentally dropped to the bottom during dunking. Now I am covered in milk. I've got milk hands!
Fraternity guy: I thought you were trying to make your own metaphor, like "I don't see the glass as half empty or half full, I see my hand in it retrieving cookies."
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Wants No Part Of This
Categories: Advice | Default | Food | Frat boy types | Health & Hygiene | Rhode Island | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Who You Callin' a Dias?
Old man with mullet to brown child in stroller: Buenos dias, niñito.
Woman pushing stroller: We're black. He knows English.
Gallivan Center Trax Station
Salt Lake City, Utah
English Conversation Is Fun
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis... penis... penis...
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
Not Even Doggy-Style?
Girl: But she said you were cute.
Guy: Yeah but it's like: puppies are cute, but you don't fuck a puppy.
New York City
New York
Overheard by: I'm more of a cat person...
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Girls | Guys | New York | Sex | Words | Posted 2008-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Now the Judge Says I Can't Babysit There?
Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!
The Melting Pot
New Jersey
Overheard by: supersecret!
Categories: Etiquette | Euphemisms | Girls | New Jersey | Restaurants | Students | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...A Metaphor I Would Know Nothing About
Professor: The Government was spending money like a drunken sailor in a Tijuana whorehouse.
Macroeconomics Class
University of California
Overheard by: Econometrically Bored
Categories: California | Class | Compare and contrast | Default | Money | Politics | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe Just Take It to a George Clooney Movie
Girl on cell: We're going to vibe her vagina. Well, not vibe it.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: K
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | On the phone | San Francisco | Toys | Vagina | Words | Posted 2008-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Anyway, Are the Cheerleaders All Okay?
Queer #1: You said: "Oooh, girl, you can't build a pyramid on top of a pyramid."
Queer #2: Did I say: "Oooh, girl"?! I did not say "Oooh, girl"!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: The Faghag
Or Reject Gender Stratification
Five-year boy in front of a door: (frantically) Which one? I have to go!
Exasperated mother: The men's room.
Little boy: Which one?!
Mother: That one (points) and that's why you need to learn to read.
Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina
Some News Just Sounds Better from a Payphone
Loud man on payphone: He said they removed something like four pimples from his prostate. What? No! Pimples! Pimples on his prostate!
Florida State Campus
Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Florida | Guys | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Words | Posted 2008-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Sister"? Really?
Woman on cell: That poor baby-mama! Or, shall I say: "wife".
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Massachusetts | On the phone | Relationships | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nietzsche Was a Shitty Roommate
Boy housemate #1: Ah! I feel so sick, my tummy hurts.
Girl housemate #1: Do you want some soup?
Girl housemate #2: Do you want some toast?
Boy housemate #2: Do you want some "harden-the-fuck-up"?
Gold Coast
Australia
What Happens When You Breastfeed at Trendy Lounges
Little boy, to stoic mother in shoe aisle: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!
(five minutes later, at checkout lane)
Little boy, to stoic mother: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!...
Kohl's
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Me too, my man.
Categories: Body parts | Default | Illinois | Kids | Moms | Should have used a condom | Stores | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Wonder What Happens to the Child Actors on SVU?
Mother to impatient son: Do you want to show me how you count?
Five-year-old: Ok. One. Two. Three. Fuck.
Mother: What!? Adam*, you know you're not supposed to say...
Four-year-old: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Mother: Adam*, I said stop! That's a very, very bad word.
Four-year-old, putting hands on ears: You fuck, you fuck, you fuck.
Holt Renfrew
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: M
The Kind They Blind You With
Girl #1: What's Scientology?
Girl #2: Isn't it like, you know, science?
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Dave
Next Time Put the Message in a Bottle
Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there's people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?
Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: How did it get there?
Only with Two More X's
Little girl: Mom, what's a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!
Denver, Colorado
Never Before Has a Yeast Infection Been So Delicious
Female sexual predator: I have a cookie jar in my pants and the lid is always open!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Creepsters | Default | Offers and requests | Overheard at McGill | Sexuality | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Their Relationship's in the Crapper
Exasperated woman: I just called to say "I love you" while I had a moment to myself, okay?! Jeez! [Flushes.]
Women's Bathroom, Bay Park Square Mall
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Put the Bedazzler Down, Bert
Guy, aggressively: I'll sparkle you!
The Eiffel Tower
Paris
France
Overheard by: Emily
Categories: France | Guys | Threats | Tourist attractions | Words | Posted 2008-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is the Range of Gay Sex Really That Limited?
Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date...
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don't want to date her, and we're supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don't know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: "Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?"
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: "Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?"
Gay guy: Awesome.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: $kank
Categories: Advice | Backdoor | Compliments | Default | Family ties | Friends | Guys | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Queers | Questions | Words | Posted 2008-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But "Jews Give Me a Boner" Is Positive
MHS student to another: Emileeeeeeey... You can't say the "boner" word at a Holocaust luncheon!
University 4
Moscow, Idaho
Overheard by: i agree
How Do You Think Pizza Bagels Are Conceived?
Little girl: My pizza is naked!
Fresh Grocer
Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania
Experimental Music Has Really Jumped the Shark
Little kid in stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Oh yeah! Yeah!
Little kid in a stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Yeah! That's it. Yeaaaah!
St Laurent Boulevard
Montréal
Canadia
Overheard by: Augustime
But I Believe That's Your Nipple
Girl, looking down her shirt: I can't tell if that's pork or a hickey.
Friend: You're so awesome!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Muffler