Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

Smart Travelers Postpone That Recognition As Long As Possible

Pilot over loudspeaker: It's 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to... Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!

Flight over Pennsylvania

Overheard by: And he's flying this plane?

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But, More Importantly, Why Is Your Subway Outside?

Guy with luggage: What's the temperature tonight?
Guy without luggage: Two.
Guy with luggage: Two? Two! Why the fuck do people live here!?

Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois

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At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don't know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

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Racist? You Decide!

Daughter: It's like... I didn't see any Mexicans around for months, and then today, I've seen so many!
Father: Well, it got warm.

Cool Springs Mall
Franklin, Tennessee

Overheard by: Haha, what?

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That's What Bothers You about Living in Texas?

Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA's here, so Houston's still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M...
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me...

High school
Houston, Texas

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If the Lifetime Channel Began Programming for Men

Guy #1: So, it's cold outside -- should we take the underground tunnel?
Guy #2: I dunno... It's kind of sketchy down there. Don't blame me if we get raped by a gang of chimpanzees.

Montreal
Canadia

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Has He Given You a Satisfactory Answer to That Question?

Thugette, into phone: How it gon' be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin' the next?
Asian guy: It's called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don't need no science, nigga! I got God!

Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania

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At Least, Last Time I Dug Up Her Grave and Checked...

Guy: Man, it's hotter than my mother-in-law back in '79. She's not hot no more.

Harvest Foods
Little Rock, Arkansas

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Speaking of My Relationship with the DEA...

Professor, as it snows out of season: If I wanted to see white powder this time of year, I'd buy some fucking cocaine! Not that I've ever bought drugs... But if I did, the statute of limitations has long passed... Okay, let's talk about bribery!

Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com

Overheard by: legal lush

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Everybody Knows God's White and Has No Rhythm

Girl #1: Is that hail?
Girl #2, looking out window: No, it's just some guys stepping.
Girl #1: Oh. I was wondering why the hail had a beat.

Mississippi University for Women
Columbus, Mississippi

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It's Like the Inside of a Man's Mind in There

Sexy girl: My roommate keeps the room temp at, like, tropical. It gets so hot in there it gets hazy! It's a good thing she doesn't care about nudity, because the only way I survive in that room is to walk around naked.

High Point, North Carolina

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Apparently I've Never Experienced 115 Degree Heat

Freshman girl: It's so much better when it's cold than it is when it's warm -- all you can do when it's 115 degrees out is sit around and air out your vagina flaps!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: broyhaha

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