Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

...By Lying

Guy #1: I was supposed to interview my grandma for my sociology project, but I didn't. I'm going to have to like, make up her life right now.
Guy #2: Why didn't you interview her?
Guy #1: Well, she lives in Oregon, and you know, the time change...
Guy #2: Dude, there's no time change from here to Oregon.
Guy #1: I know that, shut up! I'm trying to make myself feel better.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Beatrice

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Just Chillin' in Central Park

Man on cell: Did I say Boston? I'm sorry, I was just in Boston, that's why I said that. Atlanta, I'm in Atlanta right now.

Beacon Hill Starbucks
Boston, Massachusetts

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Sounds Almost As Cool As Our Job.

Woman on cell: I'm coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I'm going back.

International Airport
El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: V

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Accurate, Yet Still Depressing.

Man: Chicago is not one of the 49 states.

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Vanessa

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Why R.E.M. Established an IQ Prerequisite for Their Fans

Michael Stipe to crowd: This next song is set in the state of Ohio.
Drunk dude: Go Chicago, woooooo!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Geographically Inclined

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Hey, Our Children Is Learning!

Girl #1: No, dude, I never knew New Jersey was in New York!
Girl #2: Yeah... I didn't even know New Jersey was a city!

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Overheard by: Ian

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The Rare Combination Of Stupid and Geeky

GameStop employee #1: No, dude, I swear, Puerto Rico was the 48th state.
GameStop employee #2: No it's not, dummy! Puerto Rico is not the 48th state. It was the 49th!
GameStop employee #1: Well, why don't I just look it up on my cell phone, I bet I'll prove you wrong. How do you spell "Puerto Rico"?
GameStop employee #2: P-o-r-t-o R-e-e-c-o?

Fleming Island, Florida

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How Professor Schmidt Got Mugged in Harlem

Professor: Many theaters are located in New York's East Village, located in the northwestern part of Manhattan.

OSU Theatre Class
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel Jane

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If That's True, How Come There's Never Been a Real World There?

Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality...I mean, Cleveland.

Plane over Cleveland, Ohio

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Like, in Which Of the Boroughs?

Blonde bimbo: So what part of New York are you from?
Brunette: Manhattan.
Blonde bimbo: Like where is that in New York?

Maine

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Sex with Livestock Is a Close Second.

Professor: Apparently nothin' says lovin' in Louisiana like carving your name into the Bonnie and Clyde monument.

University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee

Overheard by: darkhorse

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And You Were There, and You Were There, and You Were There...

Teacher to students: And then you thought we were going to an imaginary place...but it was Louisiana!

High School English Class
Sweden

Overheard by: It was real?

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Unless She Gets Knocked Up Again in the Interim

Girl #1: So do you have any friends who are total disasters like us, who would want to go to Vegas that weekend?
Girl #2: I have a friend who's getting an abortion next week.
Girl #1: Oh, good, so she'll be good to go by then.

Bar
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Orkide

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Apparently She Didn't Know That, Either.

Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby.
Mother: Did people know what the Derby was?
Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like "what is the Derby?" but everyone else in the class knew!
Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire.
Mother: She's from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?...I told her I was sorry she was adopted.

Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois

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Whether You Deserve It or Not

New York liberal Jewish humanities teacher: You don't have to be all "ma'am" and stuff around me.
Student: Ma'am, I was raised in the South, you have to expect some non-ironic chivalry, sorry.

Florida State, Tallahassee

Overheard by: Dr Steve Manly

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I've Been Waiting for the Perfect Time to Share That with You.

Sorority girl #1: Are you gonna go?
Sorority girl #2: Like, I don't know. Like, I think I'm gonna go.
Sorority girl #3: Like, I think I'm gonna go, but like I don't know yet.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, like after I came back from Vegas, I gained some weight, so like I took Adderall for like two days!

UT
Austin, Texas

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Can You Prove He Didn't?

Teacher: Who lived at Monticello?
Student: Darth Vader!

History Classroom
Idaho

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He's Really More Of a Northerner

Crazy man #1: Are you from Mexico or Switzerland?
Crazy man #2: I am from Georgia! From the mountains.
Crazy man #1: North Georgia?
Crazy man #2: No, the mountains.
Crazy man #1: Are you friends with Santa Claus?
Crazy man #2: No, me and Santa don't get along.

Marta Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Jessica

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And Where's the Bear with the Picnic Basket?

Girl to boyfriend (referring to Old Faithful): Do they turn it off at night?

Yellowstone National Park

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The Passengers Could Have Used a Bit More Oxygen

Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?

Airport
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: weary traveler

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The Butt End Of the Mississippi Alimentary Canal

Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like...
Drunk guy: "Ass." That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.

Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

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I've Seen Enough Of Hell

Little girl: I don't want to go to heaven. I want to go to Texas.
Teacher: How about you go to heaven after you go to Texas?
Little girl: Nah. I just wanna go to Texas.

Vacation Bible School
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Not from here

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Like All Those Silly Little Hate Crimes

Suit on cell: That's why I love Alabama. It's really hard to get arrested for doing stupid stuff.

Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

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There's Been a Lot of Tortured Reasoning About That in the U.S.

Genuinely confused girlfriend: Here's the thing I don't get about Guantanamo Bay...is it an actual place?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: MoMo

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Isn't That the Title of a Kanye West Song?

Man in mall: Excuse me, where can I hail a taxi?
Mall employee: This is Vermont, dude.
Man in mall: There has to be taxis. There are roads, aren't they?
Mall employee: Nope, no taxis. But lots of guns.

Rutland, Vermont

Overheard by: MeggerzDotCom

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When Professors Watch Too Much House

Girl: Do you know how much inflow comes from the Colorado River?
Professor: Ummmm...yeah. I do, actually. (doesn't answer question).

UC Berkeley
California

Overheard by: not telling either

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I'm Writing You a Prescription for the History Channel

Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?

Utah

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I'm Widely Studied on the Local Pleather and Acrylic-Nail Rituals

Long Island girl being interviewed: ...my physical goals, well, I want to keep going to the gym, keep eating healthy, not smoking. My personal goals, one is that I really want to travel. Like this weekend I'm going to New Jersey for a wedding.

Starbucks
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Queens girl

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You Wanna Do That, the Army's Recruiting Right Down the Block

Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you're in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don't kill nobody!

Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada

Overheard by: Philly Joe

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Who Says The US Is Last In Geography?

Chick: I can never place his accent--it's like he lives south- but his accent's eastern too.
Guy: Maybe he lives... south east? I don't know.
Chick: No, he lives in Illinois- that's north-south.

New York

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Gambling, on the Other Hand...

Conductor: Next and final stop: Atlantic City, folks!
(several passengers give confused and bewildered looks)
Conductor: Yeah, I changed my mind. I don't like Trenton.

Trenton, New Jersey

Overheard by: passenger

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How I Met Your Mother

Drunk man to woman passing by: Fornication is evil! Thou shalt be kind to your neighbours!
Woman: Yeah, well, god built the Nevada desert and the Colorado River and then we came and built the Hoover Dam, leaving people without water or resources. So just by being here we're fucking over our neigbours.
Drunk man: Can I kiss you?

Outside The Flamingo
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Steph

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Brooklyn Itself Is Almost Imaginary

Half-drunk tourist girl: You're lying! Nobody has all that happen in their life!
Half-drunk guy with NY accent: I'm from Brooklyn! We all live unbelievable lives!

Parker House Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: annikee

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Smart Travelers Postpone That Recognition As Long As Possible

Pilot over loudspeaker: It's 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to... Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!

Flight over Pennsylvania

Overheard by: And he's flying this plane?

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At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don't know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

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We're More Of a Honky Hut Family

Black student to white teacher: So we're going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there's Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don't think so...

Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida

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Not Even in Back Bay?

Guy: Yeah, it's like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it's called, like... Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don't even have those in Boston.

Diner
St. Louis, Missouri

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Nas: It's About Time

Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!

Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom

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Said She's Too Old to Start Wearing Pleather Again

Old lady to another: Mary started crying because she thought they were taking her back to New Jersey.

Pizza Shop
Lima, Pennsylvania

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Georgia State Penitentiary?

Freshman #1: So... where is he from?
Freshman #2: He's from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.

Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate

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Where Only the Strong Survive Into Adulthood

Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I'm back in Jersey again.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

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... Hanging between His Knees

Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it's just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, 'genitalia'? Is that the right word? Well, you know -- that smooth Southern thing.

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

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The Whole Country Could Use a Good Subway Conductor

Red-headed woman: I wish they'd take this place and just plunk it down in New York so I could shove people.
Red-headed guy: Word!

National Museum of Natural History
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Nujju

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The Only Japanese She Knows Involves Gummy Candies

Girl #1: Did you know that the Playtex tampon headquarters are located in Dover, Delaware?
Girl #2: Did you wikipedia it? I'm a Tampax gal, myself.
Girl #1: No, I read it on my box of Playtex sport. I was learning French by translating the toxic shock warning labels.
Girl #2: You're my favorite.

Art Institute of Philadelphia
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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