Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

Smart Travelers Postpone That Recognition As Long As Possible

Pilot over loudspeaker: It's 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to... Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!

Flight over Pennsylvania

Overheard by: And he's flying this plane?

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don't know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

We're More Of a Honky Hut Family

Black student to white teacher: So we're going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there's Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don't think so...

Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Not Even in Back Bay?

Guy: Yeah, it's like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it's called, like... Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don't even have those in Boston.

Diner
St. Louis, Missouri

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Nas: It's About Time

Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!

Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Said She's Too Old to Start Wearing Pleather Again

Old lady to another: Mary started crying because she thought they were taking her back to New Jersey.

Pizza Shop
Lima, Pennsylvania

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Georgia State Penitentiary?

Freshman #1: So... where is he from?
Freshman #2: He's from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.

Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Where Only the Strong Survive Into Adulthood

Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I'm back in Jersey again.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

... Hanging between His Knees

Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it's just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, 'genitalia'? Is that the right word? Well, you know -- that smooth Southern thing.

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Whole Country Could Use a Good Subway Conductor

Red-headed woman: I wish they'd take this place and just plunk it down in New York so I could shove people.
Red-headed guy: Word!

National Museum of Natural History
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Nujju

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Only Japanese She Knows Involves Gummy Candies

Girl #1: Did you know that the Playtex tampon headquarters are located in Dover, Delaware?
Girl #2: Did you wikipedia it? I'm a Tampax gal, myself.
Girl #1: No, I read it on my box of Playtex sport. I was learning French by translating the toxic shock warning labels.
Girl #2: You're my favorite.

Art Institute of Philadelphia
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?