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My Point Exactly
Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?
Roslindale, Massachusetts
Categories: Drugs | Feelings | Friends | Massachusetts | Questions | Stoners | Time Management | Words | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also to Make Julienne Fries
Freshman #1: I really use a time machine.
Freshman #2: What for?
Freshman #1: Time travel, dumbass.
Northwestern University
Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Guys | Illinois | Questions | Students | Technology | Time Management | Posted 2008-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Carmen Miranda Costume Will Be Done in No Time!
Woman on cell: Slowly... over the next week... add a fruit.
Barnes & Noble
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Advice | Fruit | Missouri | On the phone | Stores | Time Management | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of All the Ways to Describe Giving Birth...
Chick to friend: Can I get that pulled out of my cervix in September?
Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Questions | Time Management | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes You Do Know What You're Missing
Little old lady to husband: I don't care how many times you've washed it or how clean it is! I've lived 60 years without my tongue making acquaintance with your asshole, and I'm not about to introduce the two of them now!
St. Louis Street
Lebanon, Illinois
Overheard by: AlternknitiveKnitter
Categories: Ass | Body parts | Couples | Default | Gripes | Illinois | Licking | Old folks | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If We Don't Bend Time, the Terrorists Win
Conductor: Welcome aboard to all the new passengers. The time is 9:11. Actually... Let's make that 9:12. That's better, isn't it?
Washington, DC
Categories: Conductors | Default | Time Management | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And If I Collect Two More Dental-Dams, I Win a Stuffed Bear
Dude to friend: Don't worry -- I have plenty of meals left to buy condoms.
Cafeteria, University of Michigan
Michigan
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Guys | Michigan | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dear Diary, The Refined Chitchat Is Still Not Working
Man: Hey, what are you girls doing?
Woman #1, uninterested: Cigarette break.
Man: So, what are you girls up to?
Woman #2: Cigarette break.
Man: So, you girls interested in a threesome?
Central Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Smoking | Time Management | Women | Words | Posted 2008-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once a Month. Our People Love Dragons and Firecrackers
White girl to Asian guy: So... How often is Chinese New Year?
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tom
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Idiots | Maryland | Overheard in College Park | Questions | Students | Stupidity | Time Management | Whiteys | Posted 2008-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Only Eat It
Dude #1: So, when the hell did you start smoking cigarettes?
Dude #2: Last week.
Dude #1: Why the hell did you do that?
Dude #2: I wanna stop smoking pot.
University of Miami
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Stosh
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Default | Druggies | Drugs | Florida | Guys | Questions | Smoking | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Goddamn Lungfish!
Property professor: They're only on the land about 25 days a year, and they get full possession? 'What the fuck?!' as they say!
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sa
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Gripes | Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do You Always Have to Add That?
Guy #1, leaving the bar: I'll see you later.
Guy #2, still nursing his drink: Yeah, if I don't die first.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: molly
Categories: Airports & flights | Comebacks | Death & dying | Default | Guys | Oregon | Overheard in PDX | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dooming You to Come on Time for All Eternity
Professor: When you're late, Eric* will take down your name. The first time he'll just tack a threatening note on your door. What did we decide you would do for the second tardy?
Eric: Slash their tires.
Professor: Right. And the third time we'll make pornographic images of you on Photoshop and put them on the Internet.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Internet | Porn | Students | Teachers | Threats | Time Management | Violence | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Men Are Understandably Nervous about Putting a Bun in the Oven
Chick: He knows how to put it in, he just hasn't ever done it before.
Laurentian University
Sudbury, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Beebo
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Sex | Time Management | Words | Posted 2008-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Take It Ourselves
Meth user: Am I too late to get my methadone?
Young pharmacist: Yes. After five p.m. we dump all the methadone down the drain.
Meth user, very nervous: Are you kidding?!
Young pharmacist, laughing: Yes, I am.
Fort Erie, Ontario
Canadia
Well You Asked, Mom.
Dude on cell: Well, I'm either gonna go see the hypnotist or masturbate.
James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: asm
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Time Management | Virginia | Posted 2008-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Otherwise Known As 9 PM on a Typical Wednesday
Drunk guy to friends: Do you know what time it is? It's dick-slapping time!
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Kari
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Michigan | Penis | Time Management | Posted 2008-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Awww... Is Somebody Jealous?
Worker: My wife is pregnant!
Boss: Do you have a project plan for this?
Worker: Uh...
Boss: What's the planned date of completion?
Worker: ... May?
Boss: Hope you've done a risk analysis.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Coworkers | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Time Management | Posted 2007-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What If We Have Tea and Just Look Out the Window?
Girl on phone: Come on! Join me for a cup of coffee. We'll finish studying and then we'll jump out of the window!
University of Trieste
Italy
Overheard by: MissKinney
Categories: Italy | On the phone | Time Management | Posted 2007-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Road to Hell Is Too Much Fucking Work
Burner chick: Yeah, I was going to run around the desert naked on drugs last night, but I just never got around to it.
Burning Man
Black Rock City, Nevada
Overheard by: McNasty
Categories: Chicks | Drugs | Nevada | Time Management | Posted 2007-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um... During?
Hot girl: I haven't had sex in so long.
Cute friend, nodding: Mmmm.
Hot girl: Nobody pays attention to me...
Cute friend: It's 'cause you only have boyfriends.
Hot girl: Yeah... And... [Whispers] I kinda like pooping.
Tampa, Florida
Categories: Bimbettes | Florida | Gender issues | Kink | Poop | Sex | Time Management | Posted 2007-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cowering in Surrender?
Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.
Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California
Categories: Bosses | California | Colleges & Universities | Employees | Food | Questions | Time Management | Posted 2007-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Me It's Just Another Thing I Have to Clean
Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh... No...
Dude: Seriously? To me that's like... like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, 'I'm going to tip that shit over.'
Eugene, Oregon
Categories: Girls | Gripes | Guys | Masturbation | Oregon | Time Management | Posted 2007-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Definitely a Man
Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?
Outside Beaver [all girl's dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio
Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Gossip | Guys | Ohio | Time Management | Virginity | Posted 2007-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Going to Do Some Interval Training with My Retinas
Blonde tanning at pool: Someone set the alarm for five minutes -- I'm gonna stare at the sun.
Columbia, Missouri
Categories: Bimbettes | Missouri | Time Management | Posted 2007-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Like Fuzzy Wits and a Full Bladder
Man #1: You know what I'm gonna do as soon as that train comes? I'm gonna go in between the cars and take a whiz!
Man #2: Yo, man, you can't do that! You'll get in trouble! When the train comes just sit yourself down with me and we'll smoke a joint!
Fullerton L platform
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Friends | Illinois | Time Management | Posted 2007-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Will Do Anything for Love, but I Won't Do That
Dude: Let's go sleep in the meatloaf.
Starbucks
California
Categories: California | Guys | Time Management | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Do Drugs and Cry
Girl #1: ... And my boyfriend told me what a bad person I was, and I was like, 'Don't say that to me! You're hurting my feelings!' Then I did drugs and cried all day.
Girl #2: Wow. Well, we should really study today...
Girl #1: Yeah, let's stay really late. Like, 'til 10.
Girl #2, totally serious: Yeah... Or we can go to the Biosphere and get burgers...
Girl #1, also serious: Yeah.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at McGill | Time Management | Posted 2007-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
