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Cell phones All Categories > Topics > Technology > Gadgets > Cell phones
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...In the Soft Porn Industry
Pretty hipster to hipster friend with iPhone: Danny! Stop taking pictures of random girls!
Hipster friend with iPhone: I can't help it, I need them for my work...
Elkhart, Indiana
Categories: Cell phones | Friends | Hipsters | Indiana | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2010-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Keeps Muttering About My Becoming Self-Supporting
Teen girl: My dad bought me an iPhone but he took it away when he found my pot. I'm so pissed.
Emo teen: You live in Portland. Either you're gay, you enjoy molesting children, or you do every drug available for free. Or all of the above. What the hell does he expect of you?
Portland, Oregon
Categories: Cell phones | Drugs | Family ties | Kids | Oregon | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2010-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Time to Play How Long 'Til His Head Explodes!
French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie... Robin...
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay...
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?
France
Categories: About celebrities | Cell phones | Cops | Foreigners | France | Movies | Names | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: He's Been Too Happy Lately
Son: Mommy, why are you going through daddy's phone?
Mother: Because I love him!
Panera
Howell, New Jersey
Categories: Cell phones | Family ties | Feelings | Infidelity | Kids | Kids | Moms | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2009-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How to Tell If Someone's on Parole
Scruffy dude picking up cell with fart noises as ringtone: Hi, honey.
Family Video
Brockport, New York
Overheard by: swear it was the phone
Categories: Burping & farting | Cell phones | Guys | New York | On the phone | Relationships | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can Think Of Better.
Girl #1 to friends: Anybody can be a cell phone.
Girl #2: That's a good t-shirt.
Hampton, Virginia
Overheard by: S. H.
Specifically, "Sry 4 Rnin Yr Lf :("
Girl on cell: But I really ruined his life. I mean, what should I do? (pause) Should I, like, text him and say, "I'm sorry for ruining your life"?
Cold Stone Creamery
New Jersey
Categories: Cell phones | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Posted 2009-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ten to One, Her Phone Is Turned Off
Preteen girl #1: Do you see all these blondes on the boxes? They should all be me. I should be on all these boxes.
Preteen girl #2: Did someone start a rumor about us? Because I haven't gotten any calls all day.
CVS
New Jersey
Categories: Cell phones | Gossip | New Jersey | Questions | Stupidity | Tweens | Posted 2009-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Defines Me.
Hobo to hipster: Is a BlackBerry a cell phone?
Hipster: Yeah, but I don't have one.
Hobo: I like blackberry pie!
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Default | Fruit | Hipsters | Hobos | Questions | Posted 2009-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Her IPhone Cover Looks an Awful Lot Like a Klan Hood
Teen girl: What a bitch! Like seriously, why can't I buy an iPhone cover for my BlackBerry?
Friend: I bet she was being racist.
Toronto
Canadia
My Gospel: In the Beginning Was the Command Line
Male high school student, nonchalantly: I got a new phone; this one can take videos and stuff. It's pretty cool.
School bus driver, in hushed, dramatic tone: Technology is god on earth.
School Bus
Southern California
Categories: Bus | Bus drivers | California | Cell phones | Default | God | Guys | Students | Technology | Posted 2009-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In High School I Got So Depressed, I Dated Girls
Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Big Al
Categories: California | Candy | Cell phones | Clothes | Default | Feelings | Guys | Queers | Posted 2009-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fine, Japanese Concept Car. Whatever.
Woman on cell: Okay, I might be about to lose you because I'm in an elevator. (pause) I'm in an elevator--how could I be driving?
City College
San Francisco, California
Categories: Cell phones | Colleges & Universities | Default | Questions | San Francisco | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does It Make My Breasts Look Phoney?
Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.
Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jo
Categories: Body parts | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Malls | Nevada | Nipples | Teens | Posted 2009-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Day You Will Make Some Dork Very, Very Happy
20-something chick to friend on cell: I like how you're listening to the message I left you while I'm standing right here.
Friend: I just want to make sure I get the message, I don't want to be like one of those people who calls you back without listening to the message.
20-something chick: I hate those people! It's like, what if the message was really important? Like, "Help me, I'm dying! Don't call me back--it sets off the bomb!"
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Good point
Categories: Cell phones | Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | On the phone | Threats | Virginia | Posted 2008-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least Pretend to Turn It Off
Flight attendant: Please ensure that your mobile phone is switched off for take-off. If you don't know how to turn your phone off, there are plenty of kids on this flight who do.
Adelaide Airport
Australia
Categories: Age and ageing | Airports & flights | Australia | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Default | Flight attendants | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It May Have Returned to Its Birthplace in China to Spawn
Chick #1: I'm gonna have to break down and spring for a land line.
Chick #2: How come?
Chick #1: So I can find my cell phone in my apartment.
Starbucks
San Rafael, California
Overheard by: Where'd I put my coffee?
Categories: California | Cell phones | Default | Girls | Restaurants | Posted 2008-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Ones I Do Have Thankfully Have Easy-to-Remember 1-900 Numbers
Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can't transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn't matter. I don't have any friends.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Cell phones | Default | Employees | Foreigners | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Forgot I Glued It to My Palm for Convenience
Little girl walking behind mom: Mom, did you hit me in the head with your phone!
Mom: No, I didn't, I don't even have my phone out! (looks down at hand) Oh, yes I do. Did it hurt?
Eskimo Joe's
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Cameron
"Don't You Feel It in Your Pants?" Would Become a New Hit Single for Usher
Loud teen girl on cell: Jaime, I've been calling you! Didn't you feel it in your pants?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yikes
Categories: Cell phones | Clothes | Default | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2008-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Just in Time to See the Internet Made Illegible
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Categories: Airports & flights | Cell phones | Default | Geography | Military | Questions | Strangers | USA | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? Now All I Have to Do Is Master Shot Callin' and I Can Die Happy!
Teen cashier at checkout: Are you listening to music on an iPod?
Geriatric customer: It's an iPhone.
Teen cashier: Dude, you're ballin'.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Hoosier
Categories: Age and ageing | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Customers | Default | Employees | Gadgets | Indiana | Old folks | Questions | Teens | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Anybody Seen Baryshnikov Lately?
Confused girl: Someone with an unknown number just called me twice. I, of course, ignored the calls. Then they left a voicemail of music from The Nutcracker...I have the feeling I'm about to be murdered.
Lexington, Kentucky
Sometimes I Add Light Slapping.
Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me...?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don't want to have to hear you yapping away--
Dude: --Why don't you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car...
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You're fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday...
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
Categories: Assholes | Canadia | Cell phones | Gripes | Strangers | Posted 2008-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In the Hamptons, That's a Marriage Proposal
Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody's got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I'll use the other one. I don't want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.
Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York
All My Gentleman Callers Are Dead
Loud old lady on cell: Hello! Sorry about before. I was so shocked someone called me that I pressed the wrong button!
Belgrave Line train
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kiri
Categories: Australia | Cell phones | Old folks | Posted 2008-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now You Can Watch Videos While It Drops Your Calls
Chick: So, what's so special about this phone other than making millions of people shit their pants simultaneously?
Guy: It hasn't got any buttons, or some-such. It can tell who you want to call by reading your mind. Also, it smells like flowers and tastes like bacon. Which is handy, since it can regrow its own skin. And fly.
Chick: Well, I'll be.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: I did NOT shit my pants.
Categories: Arizona | Cell phones | Friends | Posted 2007-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Americans Are Fat: Encapsulated
Wasted guy #1: Let me see your phone.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: I need to call my cell.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: To see if it's in my pocket.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Tswerve
Categories: Cell phones | Drunks | Texas | Posted 2007-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did You Buy the Catastrophic Event Warranty?
Woman: Excuse me, my phone doesn't work. What should I do?
Salesman: What happened to your phone?
Woman: Well, my two year old son poured chocolate syrup on it, so I soaked it in the sink with dish soap to get it off.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Cell phones | Gadgets | Moms | Parents | Technology | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
