Recent | Best Of
Subcategories: Texting |
Pretty hipster to hipster friend with iPhone: Danny! Stop taking pictures of random girls!
Hipster friend with iPhone: I can't help it, I need them for my work...
Elkhart, Indiana
Teen girl: My dad bought me an iPhone but he took it away when he found my pot. I'm so pissed.
Emo teen: You live in Portland. Either you're gay, you enjoy molesting children, or you do every drug available for free. Or all of the above. What the hell does he expect of you?
Portland, Oregon
French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie... Robin...
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay...
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?
France
Son: Mommy, why are you going through daddy's phone?
Mother: Because I love him!
Panera
Howell, New Jersey
Scruffy dude picking up cell with fart noises as ringtone: Hi, honey.
Family Video
Brockport, New York
Overheard by: swear it was the phone
Girl #1 to friends: Anybody can be a cell phone.
Girl #2: That's a good t-shirt.
Hampton, Virginia
Overheard by: S. H.
Girl on cell: But I really ruined his life. I mean, what should I do? (pause) Should I, like, text him and say, "I'm sorry for ruining your life"?
Cold Stone Creamery
New Jersey
Preteen girl #1: Do you see all these blondes on the boxes? They should all be me. I should be on all these boxes.
Preteen girl #2: Did someone start a rumor about us? Because I haven't gotten any calls all day.
CVS
New Jersey
Hobo to hipster: Is a BlackBerry a cell phone?
Hipster: Yeah, but I don't have one.
Hobo: I like blackberry pie!
Los Angeles, California
Teen girl: What a bitch! Like seriously, why can't I buy an iPhone cover for my BlackBerry?
Friend: I bet she was being racist.
Toronto
Canadia
Male high school student, nonchalantly: I got a new phone; this one can take videos and stuff. It's pretty cool.
School bus driver, in hushed, dramatic tone: Technology is god on earth.
School Bus
Southern California
Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Big Al
Woman on cell: Okay, I might be about to lose you because I'm in an elevator. (pause) I'm in an elevator--how could I be driving?
City College
San Francisco, California
Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.
Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jo
20-something chick to friend on cell: I like how you're listening to the message I left you while I'm standing right here.
Friend: I just want to make sure I get the message, I don't want to be like one of those people who calls you back without listening to the message.
20-something chick: I hate those people! It's like, what if the message was really important? Like, "Help me, I'm dying! Don't call me back--it sets off the bomb!"
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Good point
Flight attendant: Please ensure that your mobile phone is switched off for take-off. If you don't know how to turn your phone off, there are plenty of kids on this flight who do.
Adelaide Airport
Australia
Chick #1: I'm gonna have to break down and spring for a land line.
Chick #2: How come?
Chick #1: So I can find my cell phone in my apartment.
Starbucks
San Rafael, California
Overheard by: Where'd I put my coffee?
Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can't transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn't matter. I don't have any friends.
Austin, Texas
Little girl walking behind mom: Mom, did you hit me in the head with your phone!
Mom: No, I didn't, I don't even have my phone out! (looks down at hand) Oh, yes I do. Did it hurt?
Eskimo Joe's
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Cameron
Loud teen girl on cell: Jaime, I've been calling you! Didn't you feel it in your pants?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yikes
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Teen cashier at checkout: Are you listening to music on an iPod?
Geriatric customer: It's an iPhone.
Teen cashier: Dude, you're ballin'.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Hoosier
Confused girl: Someone with an unknown number just called me twice. I, of course, ignored the calls. Then they left a voicemail of music from The Nutcracker...I have the feeling I'm about to be murdered.
Lexington, Kentucky
Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me...?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don't want to have to hear you yapping away--
Dude: --Why don't you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car...
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You're fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday...
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody's got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I'll use the other one. I don't want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.
Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York
Loud old lady on cell: Hello! Sorry about before. I was so shocked someone called me that I pressed the wrong button!
Belgrave Line train
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kiri
Chick: So, what's so special about this phone other than making millions of people shit their pants simultaneously?
Guy: It hasn't got any buttons, or some-such. It can tell who you want to call by reading your mind. Also, it smells like flowers and tastes like bacon. Which is handy, since it can regrow its own skin. And fly.
Chick: Well, I'll be.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: I did NOT shit my pants.
Wasted guy #1: Let me see your phone.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: I need to call my cell.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: To see if it's in my pocket.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Tswerve
Woman: Excuse me, my phone doesn't work. What should I do?
Salesman: What happened to your phone?
Woman: Well, my two year old son poured chocolate syrup on it, so I soaked it in the sink with dish soap to get it off.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com