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Yesterday You Said It Was a Type Of Fabric!
Girl #1: What, exactly, does "Muslim" mean?
Girl #2: I think it's, like, a type of Islam or something.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: Stewart
On the Other Hand, Now She Can Totally Come Clubbing with Us!
Girl to friend: Well, if she's dumb enough to use chloroform to put her baby to sleep, then that's her fault!
Virginia Commonwealth University
Overheard by: tim c
Categories: Family ties | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Stupidity | Virginia | Posted 2011-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was That a Racial Slur?
Stoned girl #1, eating mint cookie: This tastes like Oreos.
Stoned girl #2: This isn't Oreos! It's... Oxford Creme cookie.
Stoned girl #1: Sounds like a pretentious Oreo to me.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Curly
In Spain They Speak Spainish
Mom doing magazine quiz to teenage sons: Spanish can't be one of the world's top languages. The only Spanish-speaking country is Mexico.
Cincinnati, Ohio
One Way Or Another, I'm Getting Laid in College
Student in English class: Does anyone know the difference between romantic poems with a capital R and lowercase r?
Reston, Virginia
Categories: Education | Offers and requests | Students | Stupidity | Virginia | Posted 2011-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Don't You Start and I'll Go Out for a Cigarette Break
Student #1: There are an infinite number of answers?!
AP calc teacher: Yeah, there are.
Student #2: Do you want us to write them all down?
High School
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
...Okay, Love You Too. Bye, Mom.
Loud woman on phone: Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? (pause) You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid... (keeps repeating it)
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Categories: Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, You're So Competitive, Jason!
Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island... right?
Ditzy woman's daughter: I think that's the smartest thing that's ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.
Harrisburg, Illinois
...Whilst Avoiding Useful Work
Cashier #1: Hey, did you put all those resumes from today with the other pile?
Cashier #2: Oh. Um, I didn't think we were actually hiring, so I might have thrown them out.
London
Canadia
Overheard by: I'm not applying here
Categories: Canadia | Employees | Jobs & Careers | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2011-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After I Spent All That Time Photoshopping That Dick Into a Pacifier
Freshman girl: Well, like, this was from like 2 am the day it was due. I mean, the first one I submitted was of me with a pacifier in my mouth, and they told me it was inappropriate at the last minute. I mean, like, why couldn't they have told me that in January when I submitted it?
University
Connecticut
Overheard by: You really needed to be told?
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Girls | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Je...zeus?
20-something American girl, loudly and excitedly, pointing at statue: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! There's a statue of Jesus! They've got a statue of Jesus Christ! Ohmigod!
Unimpressed 20-something Greek girl: That's a statue of Zeus. (slight pause) You fucking retard.
National Archaeological Museum
Athens
Greece
Overheard by: Bleep
So Many Questions, So Little Time.
Boy #1: I shot my friend in the foot once.
Boy #2: What! How?
Boy #1: Well, we were really high in the woods, and my friend was wearing bunny slippers. He stuck his foot out of a bush and I thought it was a real rabbit... so I shot it!
Boy #2: What the fuck?!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McKenzie
Categories: Guys | Memory lane | San Francisco | Stupidity | Violence | Posted 2011-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Might Not Make Sense, But Just Beer with Me...
Spanish teacher: "Corona" means "crown," but mainly it means "Corona."
High School
Calgary
Canadia
Well They're Part Silicon
Dude at bar: And they're real housewives? That's awesome!
The Highlander
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor
...Like in The Sweetest Thing?
Student #1: Hey, did you notice the huge black wooden sign that's blocking the entrance to the girl's bathroom due to vandalism?
Student #2: Yeah, I heard someone stole one of the urinals.
Student #1: It's a girl's bathroom, though.
Student #2: Don't they use them too?
High School
Gavette, Arkansas
Just Like Me Ignoring That Stop Sign!
Policeman, pulling over drunk guy on bike: License and registration, please.
Drunk guy: I'm on a bike!
Policeman: Sorry, force of habit.
Jefferson City, Missouri
Overheard by: BartMan
Unless You Know Something About Louis Pasteur That I Don't
Middle-aged woman, on sex offenders: Those people should just be pasteurized.
Teen daughter: Pasteurized?
Woman: Yeah, you know. Pasteurized.
Daughter: No, mom. I don't think that's what you mean.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: that might be just as effective
Which He Clearly Doesn't Have.
Girl #1: Jimmy Kimmel has narcolepsy.
Boy: Is that the one where you read from right to left?
Girl #2: No, that's Hebrew.
Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kate
Sarah Really Knows How to Push Her Own Buttons.
Self-centered bimbo to another: I love texting myself, but I told myself: "let me see if I can hold off doing that til Sunday, to see if I can live alone."
Mamaroneck, New York
Categories: Advice | Bimbettes | New York | Stupidity | Technology | Posted 2011-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet the "Bad Companions" Your Mother Warned You About
Barefoot girl in red dress: Oh my god, what are we doing?!
Girl with partially shaved head and blue sweater: We're... (dodges car) We're running into traffic.
Melbourne
Australia
Why People Hate Tequila in the Morning, Encapsulated.
Drunk girl: Look! I have salt stains all over my pants. I'm a car.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Also the Argument Against the Nuclear Family
Guy: I wonder if any of these bombs are still functional. That way, we know where to go for supplies in the zombie apocalypse.
Girl: What? You idiot, you don't use nuclear power against zombies! They're already dead, so they can't get cancer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of radioactive zombies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it's just like Spiderman, but with radioactive zombies instead of Tobey Maguire and spiders!
Atomic Power Museum
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Amred
Categories: About celebrities | Animals | Girls | Guys | New Mexico | Stupidity | Zombies | Posted 2011-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Alphonse Is a Great Wall Of Misinformation.
Man: Of course, back in the '70s, we didn't have China.
Chino, California
Categories: California | Geography | Guys | History | Stupidity | Posted 2011-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Strangely, They Still Have the Same Collective IQ.
Construction worker #1: There's a lot of sick bastards out there.
Construction worker #2: Not like when we were growing up.
Construction worker #3: That's because the country's got 300 million people now. When we was growing up it only had 150 million. That's why you got three times the number of crazies now.
Oceanside, New York
Categories: Coworkers | Gripes | Memory lane | New York | Stupidity | Posted 2011-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dear World-- We Apologize.
American tourist #1: What's your background?
Tourist guide: Aboriginal.
American tourist #1: No, as in "where were you born?"
Tourist guide: Here, in Australia.
American tourist #1: But you're black!
Tourist guide: Yes... I'm aboriginal.
American tourist #1: But I thought you guys were all extinct! Are you, like, the last one?
American tourist #2: Jay, shut up. It's idiots like you that make us look stupid. He's messing with you, there are no aboriginals.
Adelaide, Australia
...Thanks to All That Community Fingering at the Lakes.
Guy #1: So what I'm not clear on is how the penis and vagina work.
Guy #2: Well, how are you doing on STDs?
Guy #1: I'm still a little unsure about some, but I have syphilis down pat!
Finger Lakes Community College
New York
Tomorrow's Lessons: What About Bob? and Chasing Amy
Girl #1: Oh, Kill Bill is on this week!
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: I wanna watch that. I think I'd really like it. I really like martial arts films.
(pause)
Girl #1: So, is Bill the name of the guy she wants to kill?
Girl #2, incredulous: Uh-huh.
Perth
Australia
Chicago Has Two Types Of Bears, Ma'am
Guy #1: I loved the way you fucked me last night.
Guy #2: I can't wait to do it again, tonight.
Guy #1: Mmmm, I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
Annoyed woman sitting in front of them: You two fools do realize everyone on the bus can hear you, don't you?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: CTA bus rider
Her Favorite Country Is Switzerland.
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #1: Beige is my favorite shade...
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #2, interrupting: Oh my gawd, the neutrals! I love the neutrals!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Jason's Pick-Up Strategy Is Full Of Holes
Drunk frat boy, yelling to group: Is it someone's birthday?
Cute girl: Yeah! Mine!
Drunk frat boy: How old are you? 19?
Girl: 22.
Drunk frat boy: Oh, I was confused. I was wondering how you could have gotten so drunk if you were 19.
Girl: We're not drunk.
Drunk frat boy: Oh. Well, we are!
Mini Golf Course
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Categories: Age and ageing | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Frat boy types | Girls | Minnesota | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2011-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Did I Enjoy It?
Hot girl: Wait, we just had sex?
Hot guy: We just finished having sex like five minutes ago, do you not remember any of it?
Hot girl: Nope.
Hot guy: Actually, we just finished like thirty seconds ago...
Oxford
England
It Was, Like, a Religious Experience
Very drunk girl, loudly and excitedly: That was the longest pee I ever did! Like seriously, I went into the bathroom and started peeing. Gavin came in, washed his hands, then left, and I was still peeing!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Mandy
Categories: Canadia | Drunks | Pee | Stupidity | Time Management | Posted 2011-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Blame the Curry
Drunk man outside curry restaurant, face down on pavement, screaming: I've shit myself! I've shit myself! I've shit myself!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
That's What You Keep Saying About Your Pregnancies!
Teenager #1: Why does the train keep stopping?
Teenager #2: Because it has to stop at train stations.
Teenager #1: Ohmigod, train stations are so random!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Angela
Categories: Australia | Public Transportation | Questions | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2011-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aren't You Glad We Can Talk Like This?
Girl: Woah, when did you get here?
Boy: Everywhere.
Girl: I asked when.
Boy: Oh. Uh. All the time.
Spokane, Washington
Categories: Girls | Guys | Language barrier | Questions | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2011-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...The Prostitutes and Junkies Will Think You're Uncouth.
Sleazy 40-something drunk, pointing and laughing at embarrassed 20-something: And then he got poo all over his knob!
20-something: For fuck's sake dad! Shut up!
Red Light District
Amsterdam
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Body parts | Drunks | Netherlands | Poop | Stupidity | Posted 2011-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Argh, Is It Back to Work Already?
Drunk guy, spotting friend on street on New Year's Eve: Dude, hi! What day is it?
Friend, also drunk: Uh, Friday.
Drunk guy: Monday! You and me and a mountain of weed!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Terry B
Sometimes Your Editors Feel Like We're Fixin' to Die
Stoner girl to stoner guy: Vietnam was a war, not a country!
Sacramento, California
Categories: California | Druggies | Geography | History | Stupidity | Posted 2011-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Queen Latifah Never Looked Back
Black girl in workout clothes: So I googled it.
Overweight friend: Googled what?
Black girl in workout clothes: The human skeleton is 20% of your body weight.
Overweight friend: So what?
Black girl in workout clothes: Sooo... Without that, I only weigh like a hundred pounds or something.
Overweight friend: (confused look)
Black girl in workout clothes: I'm just saying I'm not fat anymore.
Michigan
Overheard by: It's that simple?
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Fat people | Girls | Michigan | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Mean, Like, Jersey Shore?
Marine with no game to clearly uninterested sales clerk: And we marines say "semper fi" to each other, do you know what that means?
Sales girl: Yeah, it...
Marine, interrupting: It means "always faithful." It's like Russian or some shit... No. Maybe Italian... Yeah, it's Italian.
Mall
Birmingham, Alabama
...Thank Goodness for Duct Tape, Am I Right?
Delta gate agent to another: There's always something wrong with this plane.
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Hoping to get bumped
Categories: Employees | Stupidity | Technology | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aww, Who's My Little Dribbler?
Wife to husband while watching the news: Oh my god! Hahahaha, did you hear what they just said?
Husband: About how that guy "took it on the chin"?
Wife: Yeah, I can't believe they said that on the news!
Husband: I don't think that means what you think it means.
Wife: Oh.
Toronto
Canadia
No Worries-- He Was Just Cutting My Brake Lines.
Frazzled principal addressing group of volunteers in library: Sorry I'm a little late everybody, I had to pull a kid out from underneath my car.
Weslaco, Texas
And Watched the Baby Play with a Plastic Bag
Office building tenant: Oh, and I just wanted to let you know there was a fire in the dumpster last week. I looked for the security guard in the building, but couldn't find him. I didn't know who else to notify, so I just went home.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: how about 911?
Categories: Character | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Stupidity | Posted 2011-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tyra Banks, During Every Taping Of America's Next Top Model, Encapsulated.
Black professor: Actually, it wasn't neither... Excuse me, I had an Ebonics moment. Please forgive me.
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Categories: Education | Language barrier | Mississippi | Stupidity | Teachers | Words | Posted 2011-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
TV Lied to Me
Six-year-old boy holding "pillow pet", singing: It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet! (then, whispering to himself) This isn't as cool as I thought it would be...
Target
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: M
Just When I Thought You Couldn't Get Any Fruitier, Buddy.
Pizza delivery guy, singing, with a handful of Froot Loops: Frooooooot loooooops!
Later, coming out of building: Everybody loves Froooooot Looooooooooops!
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: chromathegreat
Categories: Character | Employees | Massachusetts | Singing | Stupidity | Posted 2011-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The FDA Says I Have To
20-something hot girl on cell: I was going to sleep with you, until you said "is this a good idea?"
New Jersey
Overheard by: kiera
Categories: Feelings | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2011-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What the Fuck Is Going on in Leamington Spa??
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1, singing: Fill my hole, fill my hole, fill my hole, fuh-uh-illlll my hole!
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*! Don't sing that!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#, singing off key: But I just waaaaant you to fuh-illll mah ho-alll!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #2# to passing man: She's training to be a vet. She's not usually like this, she's had a bit too much to drink.
Man: Yeah... She wants someone to fill her hole.
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#: I'm not drunk!
Man: I believe you.
(very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt 1# holds hand over mouth and impressively sprays vomit in five directions)
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*, I think we're going to have to get a taxi...
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Actually, I Think He Went to Columbia University
Girl #1: One time, this Colombian dude was hitting on me...
Girl #2, interrupting: What? Like from Columbia, Missouri?
Girl #1: No. This country--he was like Arab or something.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: A.
I Still Hate to Buy Her a Two-Year Planner, Though
Guy on one side of the store: So how's your friend who has cancer?
Woman in queue, thirty feet away: Oh, she's getting better!
Guy: Really?
Woman: Yeah, they put her on this herbal diet and now she's getting better.
Guy: Wow.
Woman: Yeah, it's amazing.
Guy: So what sort of cancer is it?
Woman: I'm not sure...
Guy: Is it terminus cancer?
Woman: Yeah, I think that's it.
Guy: Terminus cancer, yeah?
Woman: Yeah, yeah, but she's getting better.
London
England
Overheard by: Irongate
Is That a "Yes" on Hiring Her?
Man to friend: She makes me want to cheat on my wife in front of my wife.
Exchange Place, New Jersey
Overheard by: John
Categories: Friends | Infidelity | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2011-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Isn't Easy Buying Green.
Guy: So I got there, and they were out of the green ones, so I had to get two of the green ones to get one of the green ones!
Nikki's Cafe
Beloit, Wisconsin
According to WikiLeaks
Professor: And, as you know, Sweden has the strictest rape laws in America.
UCLA, California
Your Editors Liked This Quote So Much, We Were All, "We Like This Quote So Much!"
Woman on phone: I saw a greyhound in the middle of the road. So I told her, "there's a greyhound in the middle of the road!"
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Animals | Australia | On the phone | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Were Those Internet Images Photoshopped?
Psychology teacher, collecting test papers: Do I have all the testes?
High School
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Slips of the Freudian variety
When Fat Monsters Have Lunch
Suit #1: I honestly think one of our world's biggest problems right now is corn tortillas falling apart.
Suit #2: You're so right. I can't believe I never thought about this before.
Starbucks
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Katlin Sehres
Categories: Food | Philosophy | Stupidity | Texas | Posted 2011-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...With a Hatred Of Great Strengthiness
Girl: You know, I'm usually a very wise person. Recently, with my situation, I lost a lot of my wiseness, but this trip has brought back that wiseness.
Boy: So, your wiseness never informed you it was called "wisdom"?
Girl: I hate you.
Banora Point High School
Australia
Sesame Street Has Really Diversified Its Curriculum
Guy: It was mostly about fucking goats, but I also learned a lot about libel law.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Nick
Admit It-- You're Strangely Aroused.
Pretty hipster in lab: It's cold in here and it's also not hot outside.
Pretty nerd in lab: Shouldn't the thrill of science keep you warm?
Pretty hipster in lab: That's such a stupid thing to say...
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Warm for Science
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Hipsters | New York | Questions | Science | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yada Yada Yada, I'm Not Allowed Back Next Semester.
Female college girl: She asked me "what's a vagina?"
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Girls | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2010-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Give Me Directions at Your Own Risk
City bus driver, at the beginning of his shift: My name is Bob, I'll be your new bus driver. I'll be taking this bus down University to... some mall. I don't know where we're going, heh. I'm new. I will drive very carefully... unless you piss me off.
Des Moines, Iowa
Ever Since I Realized I Can Get My Legs Behind My Head
College girl: You would be amazed by what I can do with the English language.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: and what else can you do?
Categories: Bragging | Education | Overheard in Minneapolis | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2010-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...According to This Barbie Doll.
Fashionable, ditzy young woman at cheese counter: A lot of girls cheat on their taxes because they just don't know how to do them.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: dismayed feminist
Categories: Gender issues | Minnesota | Stupidity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Once Tried to Chew a Bathroom Tile and Ended Up in the Hospital for a Week
Girl to friends: Is butter a mineral? I can't eat minerals.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Actually I think it's a vegetable
Yadda Yadda Yadda, Now He's a "She"
Bro #1: What a douchebag move!
Bro #2: Seriously. He glued it to the car. He could have just taped it!
Suburbia, Maryland
Or Renée Zellweger?
Drunk Asian kid entering kitchen at party: I just went to use the bathroom, but there was some weird Asian girl waiting outside the door.
Sober, bitter girl: Are you sure it wasn't just a mirror?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: bitter girl's roommate
Categories: Asians | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2010-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Could Also Use a Cup Of Java
Ditzy cute girl: Look at the clouds! They're blue!
Friend, deadpan: You mean the sky.
Ditzy cute girl: Yeah! Ohmigod, kittensssss!
Jakarta
Indonesia
Overheard by: I only want my coffee
That Must Be It!
Guy #1: These glasses hurt my eyes.
Guy #2: But there aren't even any lenses in them!
St. Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Fashion | Guys | Health & Hygiene | New Jersey | Stupidity | Posted 2010-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Cambridge? Perish the Thought.
Girl to friend: We're under a bridge! I feel like a crack dealer.
Midsummer Common
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anti-Math
The Twinkie Defense Never Works.
College burnout: It has a soft and creamy center!
Friend, looking at computer: I still don't like him.
Thibodaux, Louisiana
Overheard by: Batpam
Categories: Diet & weight | Druggies | Food | Friends | Stupidity | Posted 2010-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really Big Girls, Though
Ditzy blond: How many girls have you seen down there!
Ditzy guy with ditzy blond: Tons! Like, so many! (pause) Oh, okay! Fine! Six.
Great American Ball Park
Cincinnati, Ohio
NewsFlash: Tim Burton Slated to Direct Next Bring It On! Movie
Teen girl #1: I don't get why they put "eat it" by the cheerleaders.
Teen girl #2: Me neither. You can't, like, eat cheers.
Teen girl #1: Yeah... But you can eat cheerleaders.
High School
Kansas
Steroids? Discuss.
Old sweaty guy to gym owner: Bob*, did you know there's something wrong with one of your balls?
Gym owner: Which one?
Old sweaty guy: The little blue one. It's half deflated.
Gym owner: Oh, that one. It's always had problems. People keep doing stupid things with it.
Gym
Blue Mountains
Australia
Categories: Advice | Australia | Gym rats | Health & Hygiene | Stupidity | Posted 2010-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Many Rules, Though
Girl #1: Me and my boyfriend play this game called jeep, and it's when you see a jeep you say "jeep," and I will win.
Girl #2: That sounds like fun!
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: No I will
Your Editors Just Googled Up 34,000 Hits for "Weird Insertions"
Mother to small boy: No, it's a courgette, dear. You can't light a fire with courgettes.
Sainsbury's Supermarket
Cardiff
Wales
Overheard by: Gordinho
And You Thought There Was an Echo in Your Bathroom.
Guy in stall #1: Hi, how are you?
Guy in stall #2: Fine. Thanks.
Guy in stall #1: So what are you up to?
Guy in stall #2: Uh, the same as you.
Guy in stall #1: Can I come over?
Guy in stall #2: What the hell? I'm a little busy right now, freak!
Guy in stall #1: Listen, let me call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my questions.
Restaurant Bathroom
Manhattan, New York
At Least in My Case
Female law student #1: You don't have to know that. You can just 69 it.
Female law student #2: Wait... What?
Female law student #1: You know, 69 it. Get rid of it.
Female law student #2: No honey, it's "86" it. That thing you said is something dirty.
Mississippi College School of Law
I Have Standards; They're Just Substandard
Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'd give him a blow job him if he gave me $100.
Sorority girl #2: So you'd prostitute yourself for low 3 figures?
Sorority girl #1: No! It's not like I would ever have sex with him, no matter how much he paid me! He's disgusting!
Indiana University Southeast
What Happens When You Only Let Your Kids Read ee cummings
Girl #1: Oh my god! At work today, the kids had to write stories and they are the worst writers ever! One kid had an entire paragraph with no periods, and a bunch of them were capitalizing days of the week and stuff. It was awful.
Girl #2: You're supposed to capitalize days of the week.
Girl #1, in embarrassed awe: No! You're kidding, right? I told them they weren't supposed to...
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lauren
Categories: Compare and contrast | Education | Girls | Kids | Overheard in PDX | Stupidity | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Just Drew a Bunch Of Unicorns on the Test Paper and Handed It In
Girl on cell: They had Greenland and Iceland on the test. (pause) Yeah, apparently they're two different things. (pause) I dunno, Greenland is the cold one, or something. (pause) Yeah, I think it was unfair, too.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ginger
Categories: Education | Geography | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Stupidity | Weather | Weirdness | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Best. Preschool Teacher. Ever.
Preppy girl on cell: You know, why don't you talk more? Why don't you participate? I just wish you would say something not stupid.
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Categories: Massachusetts | On the phone | Preppies | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2010-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even the Preachers in Oregon Are Weirdly Crunchy and Alternative.
Freshman girl, emphatically to strangers: Roller derby saved my life! Roller derby saved all of our lives!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: You've been playing for a month, shut up
And I'm Washing It Down with Laxatives!
Model scout, handing out card to hot tall teen: I know you're probably modeling already, but take my card anyway.
Shorter teen girl to friend, after scout has left: Fuck you. The only reason he gave you his card instead of me was because I'm eating a cookie. But it's the only thing I've had to eat today!
Starbucks
Studio City, California
Overheard by: Urz
Categories: Bars & Clubs | California | Employees | Food | Friends | Insults | Jobs & Careers | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2010-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But She Once Wore a Paper Sombrero and Sang "La Bamba" at the School Pageant
Native American girl: Yeah, when I was in kindergarten, I was the only Mexican in class. Well, except for Reema. She's Lebanese.
High School
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Education | Geography | Girls | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2010-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Said I Hated Black People Enough for Both Of Us
Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me...
Norman, Oklahoma
Every. Single. One.
Girl: So do you just know everyone because you're... (pauses awkwardly)
Guy: Yeah. Well, everyone in New York is Jewish, so that's how I know them all.
Portland, Oregon
Why Superman Gets So Much Girlie Action.
Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women's tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women's tights make your junk look bigger!
Commuter Train
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: strictly boxers.
...Ooo, There's That Smell Again!
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: I love the smell of hatred in the morning.
Confused girl sitting next to him: Is it anything like coffee?
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: What? No, it's nothing like coffee. God, you're so stupid.
College Dining Hall
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Food | Girls | Guys | Insults | New Mexico | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NASA's Committed to Mid-Century Chic
Lady on cell: No, no, no! See, the reason I bring this up is because her spaceship is covered in shag carpeting...
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Caleb
Categories: Arizona | On the phone | Stupidity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Only One Game in Town and It's Rigged, Dude
Young suit to crying baby he's holding at arm's length: You were a terrible investment.
Young woman: Stop saying that!
Young suit: If he doesn't stop crying, I'm literally going to give him to the next person who is willing.
Young woman, taking the baby: He should be crying. You're an idiot!
Young suit: The sale has now become two for one.
Toys R Us
Bear, Delaware
To Explain, Here's Elmo With the Aphabet Song
Teen girl to another, while browsing CDs: Like, alphabetical order is so confusing.
Music Store
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Justin
Well I Love the Netting.
Woman to son: That's the dress Larry Bird Johnson wore to the inauguration.
First Ladies Exhibit, Smithsonian
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Dave White
Categories: About celebrities | Clothing | Kids | Moms | Sexuality | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2010-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least This Time We Hit Something Soft
Drunk Canadian to another: I don't get it--every time we drink in the car, something bad happens.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: christine
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Foreigners | Stupidity | Virginia | Posted 2010-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The "Trick Question" on the C.I.A. Exam
Guy: I'm thinking of doing heroin, but just once. Do you think that's cool?
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Tim
Categories: Drugs | Fashion | Guys | Overheard Lines | Stupidity | Posted 2010-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Take That IPad!
Teen girl #1, looking at bookmarks: Oh--I would totally read if I had a cool bookmark!
Teen girl #2: Oh, me too, for sure!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Mickey Doesn't Care, Sweetie
Girl to family: Happy 4th of July, everyone!
Kid next to girl: But I'm Jewish!
Magic Kingdom
Orlando, Florida
Don't Expect a Hungry Man to Make Sense
Man to woman: The name "Pizza Hut" is so perfect, because it has "pizza" in the name, and they sell pizza!
Busch Gardens
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Faye
What Have Mom and Dad Been Telling You, Anyway?
Girl, watching painting: That's a girl, she's got those things. (points to nipples)
Boy: It's a boy! Grown-up boys have those, too. I've seen them.
Girl: It's a girl!
Boy: No, boys have them too; they just don't do as much. The girls' milk, the boys' don't.
Art Gallery
Portland, Oregon
B-
Fine arts teacher: Michelangelo and Donatello. They were both brilliant, they were both homosexual, they were both... Both...
Girl: Ninja turtles!
Ohio
Beverly Hills? You're Already There.
Buff Asian kid, squinting at label on microscope: Made in... Douche-land? What the fuck is douche-land?
Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California
Categories: Asians | California | Geography | Insults | Kids | Names | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2010-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Cautionary Tale That Elizabeth Taylor Has Taught Us All
Girl to friends: I mean, think about it: a girl that's pretty now could be ugly in ten years.
Crested Butte, Colorado
Overheard by: Wow.
Also Why Ashley from Real Housewives Of New Jersey Has So Many Friends.
Prissy girl on phone: You have a stupid face. You have to be my friend.
Cardiff
Wales
Overheard by: Gordinho
Categories: Body parts | Comebacks | Girls | Insults | On the phone | Stupidity | UK | Posted 2010-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Invited Her?
Drunk guy #1: So what you're saying is, we rip the spine out of a dog?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah, but then you put a robotic spine in. You could get a remote-controlled dog.
Drunk guy #1: Shit, we could control its bark function.
Drunk girl: And make it ski.
Leamington Spa
England
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | England | Health & Hygiene | Stupidity | Posted 2010-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thankfully the Stupid Seem to Always Die Off First
Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it... The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn't there something up with birds? Like, aren't they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um... Thousands of different animals are dying...
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.
High School
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Animals | Birds | California | Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2010-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'd Think There'd Be a Train
Canadian girl #1 to tour operator: Where can we do tours of Auschwitz?
Tour operator: Um, well, Auschwitz is in Poland, so...
Canadian girl #2: No, but we mean the one the Germans set up for the war. The German one.
Tour operator: Yes, I understand, but they set it up in Poland.
Canadian girl #1, after pause: Are you sure? We came to Berlin just to see it.
Berlin
Germany
Overheard by: Jit
Wouldn't That Require the Right to Bear Arms?
Pleasant English lady in line at checkout: Whoever invented all these human rights should be shot!
Scott Air Force Base
St. Clair County, Illinois
Overheard by: Ninjamedic
Also How He Chooses a House Of Worship.
20-something guy, entering taqueria with friends: There better be a midget in a sombrero offering me salsa as soon as I get in the door, or I'm gonna be pissed.
San Francisco, Calfornia
Overheard by: Alex
Categories: Food | Friends | Guys | Restaurants | San Francisco | Stupidity | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why Children Love the Berenstein Bears
Teen girl to teen friends: I wish I was mixed race--not really black. I mean, you're brown all year round.
Nottingham
England
Overheard by: Johnny
If Grad School Has Taught Me Anything, It's That You Can.
Teen girl to teen boy: But you can't play spin the bottle with a box of wine!
Giant Eagle
Parma, Ohio
Overheard by: Tmoore
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Ohio | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2010-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hence The Taming Of the Jew
Girl at history class: Ohhh, I get it! So, Shakespeare got his ideas from Hitler!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Toya Lah
It's an Excellent Movie, Excellent Movie
Boy: Have you seen Rainman?
Friend: Nah.
Boy: Ohmigod, I can't believe you haven't seen Rainman! I mean I haven't seen Rainmanbut I can't believe you haven't seen Rainman!
Newcastle-Sydney Train
Australia
The High Point Of an All-Cat Theme Park
Boyfriend: Wait! Imagine... zip-lines for cats.
Girlfriend: Yes!
Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Hannah
Here's James Cameron to Explain
Cute young woman, watching tv while studying: Ew, they are kissing so deep! It's gross!
Seemingly gay guy, also studying in the table: Kay*, you don't even know what deep is.
Campinas
Brazil
Sesame Street Has, Like, Totally Opened My Eyes!
Clueless teen girl: I didn't know that New Mexico was a state, I thought it was a country!
Ditzy blonde: Ohmygod! No way!
Clueless teen girl: Yeah, I know! And did you know that "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "The Alphabet Song" are the same?!
Ditzy blonde: No fucking way!
High School
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Genius
Then Hold On-- The Earth's Rotating Again!
Female stoner: We have to go to the Natural History Museum! Wait, where are we?
Friend, after pause: The Natural History Museum.
Washington, DC
Categories: Drugs | Stoners | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2010-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Also Don't Believe in the Existence Of John and Kate
Suspicious wife: Hey, didn't you tell me that mermaids don't really exist?
Husband: Yes. And I stand by that.
Suspicious wife: Then how cone they had a show on TLC called Mermaid Girl and it was all about a girl who was a real mermaid?
Husband: They aren't talking about the kind of mermaid that you're thinking of! It's probably just a girl with her legs fused together or something. The mermaids you're thinking of don't exist and they never have!
Suspicious wife: They exist. You lied to me!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Momo
Also the Story Behind the KFC Double Down Sandwich
Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch... And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
Need a Vacation from the Metric System, Canadia?
Deli customer: Could I have a kilo of shaved black forest ham, please?
Confused deli worker: How much?
Deli customer: One kilo.
Confused deli worker: I need to know how much you want.
Deli customer, getting frustrated: One kilo of shaved black forest ham.
Confused deli worker: So, 500 grams?
Deli customer, astonished: A kilo is 1000 grams.
Confused deli worker: Um... How much do you want?
Deli customer, annoyed: One kilo.
Confused deli worker: I don't know how much you want.
Deli customer, more annoyed: One kilo. 1000 grams.
Confused deli worker, after thinking for a minute: So, two 500 gram packages?
Deli customer, astonished: Sure.
Deli customer's partner: Are you serious?
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: Math is hard
It's Either Believe That, or Commit Suicide
Physiotherapist: I have a small wife, so a small penis is okay.
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Doctors | Penis | Stupidity | Posted 2010-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Suggested I Test the Tracks by Sleeping on Them
Angry girl on cell: No, I seriously hate him. He wouldn't stop laughing at me the entire night, and I felt like an idiot. All I asked was whether real trains still run on train tracks. I mean, I just thought the tracks were antiques that got left behind or something... It's not a stupid question!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: kgirl42
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Public Transportation | Questions | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2010-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kirstie Alley Lights Of Up the Screen in Look Who's Tanning!
Pale girl: Sure, I'll go tanning with you. How much is it?
Dark girl: For the baby bed, only $7.
Pale girl: The baby bed? What's the baby bed?
Dark girl: What you need to do, girl!
Pale girl: Yeah, but do they, like... Put babies in it?
Drexel University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I wouldn't know either....
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Kids | Money | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then They Die
Girl #1: Corey's* got a treatment scheduled for Monday.
Girl #2: What's wrong with him?
Guy: Nothing.
Girl #1: He's got cancer.
Guy: He's fine. People get cancer all the time.
Nicholls State University
Thibodaux, Louisiana
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Louisiana | Maladies | Stupidity | Posted 2010-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Probably Time for Another Field Trip
Teacher: So what gets left behind when sea water evaporates?
Student: Fishies!
Melbourne
Australia
Ten Bucks Says He Still Tries to Sleep with Her
Serious gentleman: The historical figure from recent history that I most respect? I'd have to say... Gandhi.
Cute young woman: Gandhi? I think I've seen some of his work...
Dinner Party
London
England
See? You're Obviously a New Yorker!
Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say "African-American."
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say "African"?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's "African-American"!
Nigerian guy: Okay... So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.
Cambridge
England
Overheard by: TopCat
...Wanting to Make Something Of Themselves
Ditzy girl #1: Like, I love her... but she's just so dumb.
Ditzy girl #2: I know! I mean, she wants to take the MCAT. I don't understand that kind of people.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Granted, We Learned About the Teacher's Sex Life...
Teen girl #1: How was econ today?
Teen girl #2, indignantly: We actually learned something, I was so bummed...
Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: zen
Categories: California | Education | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2010-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Close Enough.
Female student: It's a Wonderful Life... That's the one about the Holocaust, right?
Clarksville, Maryland
Overheard by: Jimmy Steward played Hitler
Raise Your Hand If You See Nothing Wrong with This Logic
Old Scottish professor in mid lecture: There happened to be something wrong with the quality of the product from the plant in Belgium, and the company response was: "well, of course you're getting sick, you live in Belgium. What a stupid place to live."
Medford, Massachusetts
And What About Cars?
Ditzy American girl: You're from Scotland?
Scottish girl: Yeah.
Ditzy American girl: So do they have like... Ducks over there?
Orlando, Florida
Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?
Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Pips
Categories: Animals | Body parts | California | Feelings | Friends | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Pee | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Slang for "Gays," You Bigot?
Large female tourist in plaid bermuda shorts: You know what's wrong with California? Too many windows!
Quincy Market
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
Categories: Fat people | Massachusetts | Questions | Stupidity | Tourists | Posted 2010-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Never Drink With Master Debaters, Dear Reader
Guy among friends: This conversation is too logical for me.
Bar
Norway
What Happens When You Get Free Coffee at Work
Female barista: He's going to Tel Aviv or something. I don't even know where that is.
Male barista: Tel Aviv?
Female barista: Yeah, it's like in Egypt or something, I think.
Male barista: Oh, wait, no, that's the tv station.
Female barista: What?
Male barista: Yeah, it's like their version of the BBC.
Starbucks
Orinda, California
Categories: Baristas | Bars & Clubs | California | Geography | Stupidity | TV shows | Posted 2010-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Probably All Those Vaccinations
Guy: They might be autistic, but that doesn't mean they don't want to have gay sex with children.
New Britain, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Grace
Categories: Assholes | Guys | Pennsylvania | Sex | Stupidity | Posted 2010-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Does Everyone Keep Telling Me That?
Guy with soul patch: Don't German people always drive at 200 miles an hour all the time?
Girl in front row, sarcastically: I think you mean 200 kilometers per hour.
Guy with soul patch: It doesn't matter, they're the same thing!
Professor, calmly: If I go crazy and start a killing spree, you'll be the first one I get.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Education | Stupidity | Teachers | Washington, DC | Words | Posted 2010-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're Too Aroused to Think Straight
Women studies professor, during discussion about nymphomaniacs: Ladies, are there any of you who are in a constant state of arousal?
Class: (uncomfortable silence)
Professor: Let me rephrase that. Are you constantly ready to engage in sex?
Student, alarmed: Professor, I don't think any of us are comfortable with answering this question.
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | New Jersey | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Teachers | Women | Posted 2010-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet Australia's Only Posh Lady
Posh lady in loud voice: And then they ran out of mineral water! I was devastated... Devastated.
Tilley's Cafe
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Trish
Categories: Australia | Bars & Clubs | Feelings | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Here, I'm Using Sarcasm to Make a Teaching Point
Political science professor: Our president is black. Some of you may have noticed this. Some of you probably haven't yet.
California State University
San Marcos, California
Overheard by: I knew it
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Politics | Race | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2010-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Do the Romantic Thing and Sell It on the Internet
Ditzy teen girl to ditzy friend: Oh my god! I would never be able to live with myself if I died before I lost my virginity!
High School
Springwood
Australia
Categories: Australia | Death & dying | Girls | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Virginity | Posted 2010-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ignorance + Ignorance = Ignorance
Girl: So I hear that all Puerto Rican women are like models.
Guy: What?
Girl: Like they're all really hot and stuff.
Guy: I'm sure some are...
Girl: Yeah, they are, and they wear like thongs and stuff for underwear too.
Guy: I always heard Puerto Rican women were fat.
Girl: No, that's Hawaiian women.
Guy: Oh.
Lecture Hall
University of Alabama at Birmingham
Categories: Alabama | Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | Stupidity | Posted 2010-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just As Well-- I'm a Little Fuzzy on the Whole "Bagel" Concept
Customer: Do you have any lox?
Wal-Mart employee: Of course. They're over in hardware.
Customer: No. Lox, like bagels and lox.
Wal-Mart employee: Lots? Lots of bagels?
Customer: I'll just go to Publix.
Wal-Mart
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Heading for Publix, too.
Ignorance Stops Being Cute After Thirty, Though
Cute girl #1: Who's Hattie?
Cute girl #2: What?
Cute girl #1: Why do we have to help her?
Cute girl #2: You mean Haiti?
Cute girl #1: Yes, who is she?
Cute girl #2: You're so cute!
Dural
Australia
Overheard by: Hatter
Are You Talking About Elephants?
Guy #1: Put them in the back seat. I've got a bunch of junk in my trunk... Excuse the double meaning.
Guy #2: Double meaning?
Guy #1: I've got junk in my trunk.
Guy #2: I don't get it.
Guy #1: Never mind.
Kroger Parking Lot
Athens, Georgia
Next: a Game Of "Just the Tip"
Not-very-smooth guy to attractive woman at bar: I just want to see it! I promise I won't touch your vagina.
Tallahassee, Florida
Um, by Definition?
American woman to daughter, window shopping in front of Hermès: Luxury isn't for everyone.
Hermès
Paris
France
Categories: France | Philosophy | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Many Tons Of Vomit Does Disney World Produce a Year? Show Your Work.
20-something guy in the middle of a group: Guys, guys. I've got big news.
(group quiets down)
20-something guy: I just got a text from Ross. It says "Let's put it this way: they've stopped the ride, are cleaning up my vomit, and I'm leaving in a wheelchair. Spaceship Earth."
(group cheers)
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Categories: Florida | Games | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Stupidity | Tourist attractions | Violence | Posted 2010-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, European Colonialism!
Ditzy 13-year-old brunette: That's so cool! She's French and (whispers) black. I didn't know you could get those!
Woldingham Sacred Heart School
England
Overheard by: on the floor laughing
Categories: England | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Tweens | Posted 2010-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yoko Ono in the 1970's: Encapsulated.
Girl wearing long, flowy skirt to friend: I just feel a deep connection with the lighting of this room. I'm a big fan of lighting.
Maryland
There Is a Downside to Thong Underwear
Concerned-looking sorority girl, walking out of bathroom stall: Oh my god guys, do you really think my butt smells like ass?
Bathroom
University of Idaho
Overheard by: CrayonCake
Categories: Ass | Idaho | Questions | Restroom | Sensory experiences | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
College: In a Nutshell.
Freshman girl to friends: Guys, I really need to ask you a huge favor. I think I might be pregnant and you guys might have to punch me in the stomach to get rid of it.
North Bay
Ontario
Canadia
Oh, and One Of Your Mudslides, Please.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'll have the Cobb salad with no croutons, no bacon, no egg, no cheese, and no avocado, with the chicken on a separate plate.
Sheepish waitress: That just leaves lettuce, tomato, and olives. You sure that's all you want, ma'am?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'm sure.
Sheepish waitress: It'd be cheaper to get a side salad and just add chicken.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No, I want a Cobb salad.
Sheepish waitress: It would be the same thing without all the toppings.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I. Want. A. Cobb. Salad!
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am. What kind of dressing would you like?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No dressing, please.
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am.
TGI Friday's
Virginia
If "Swaziland" Is Already Taken
Girl, looking at bag of coffee: Tan-zay-nee-uh. Hey, I didn't know that was a country!
(friends laugh)
Girl: That's a pretty name, I'm going to name my daughter that!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Eh, They Were Station Wagons.
College girl: Last night I dreamed that everyone got a car for free... except for you.
College guy: Even in your dreams, I can't get a fucking break!
Boone, North Carolina
Categories: Compare and contrast | North Carolina | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And My Glitter Is Edible
Slutty chick to guy next to her: I'm not clever, but I'm sparkly!
New Orleans, Louisiana
See, This Is Why I Came Here
Girl: Wow! Einstein was like really smart!
Astronomy Class
UCSC, California
Overheard by: Eric
Did the Pizza Guy Even Apologize for Walking in on You in the Shower?
Chick #1: I was like, "I thought that shit only happened in porn!"
Chick #2: Or movies.
Chick #1: Oh. Yeah.
Cafe
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Porn | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...So Everyone Got That Wrong on the Quiz.
Professor: To shake hands you have to make sure the wedge of your hand fits in the other person's wedge, and that your skin touches, and then give it a good two or three pumps.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Can't You Just Tether It to Your Wheelchair?
Suave dude on cell: Shut up, grandma! Your fridge isn't that heavy!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: at least I'm nice to my grandma
Categories: Family ties | Jerks | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bloated Bellies Are the New Six-Pack
Drunk guy holding a forty: Malt liquor. This is going to get us buff, yo.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember When Ted Danson Tried That at Whoopi's Roast?
Guy #1: Dude, you really need to end your obsession with black face, it's offensive.
Guy #2: Hell no, I'm bringing it back!
Fullerton, California
Categories: California | Guys | Race | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least There's No Violin Shortage
Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?
Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ho Lexington III
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Customers | Employees | Food | Pennsylvania | Restaurants | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Usually I'm Able to Draw a Whole Unicorn Galaxy
Girl: I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't do anything. All I could do in my last class was draw a unicorn!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Christina
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Georgia | Girls | Stupidity | Posted 2010-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Utter Decimation, but Whatever.
50-something suit at brunch: The South was a backwards place until air conditioning. That's what allowed them to advance as a people. Now, these hurricanes come and knock out their power. That's why they have so many problems during these storms.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: didn't know ac saved south
My Professor Said It Was the Best Paper He's Gotten in Years
University student: But it must be true... I read it on the internet! I read it on Wikipedia!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Louise
Categories: Internet | New Zealand | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2010-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Your Sex Blog
Stodgy, old-fashioned professor: It's your birthday? I didn't know, you must not have put it on Facebook.
St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Categories: Canadia | Stupidity | Teachers | Technology | Posted 2010-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Believe Fingerpainting and Paste-Eating Are Down the Hall
Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.
University of Michigan
Overheard by: getout
My Contract Doesn't Permit Me to Draw Any Conclusions
Guy with chocolate bars: Are these really two for two dollars?
Wal-Mart cashier: All I know is they're a dollar each.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: ellie.
Like Medical Marijuana
16-year-old girl #1: What's Zionism?
16-year-old girl #2: The belief that Jewish people should be able to have a homeland in Israel, I think.
16-year-old girl #1: So it's like a religion?
16-year-old girl #2: No, it's a political movement.
16-year-old girl #1: Wait, so it's a religion?
Sacramento, California
...Well, Not Human Bodies.
Coworker #1: So, did you ever figure out what was biting you?
Coworker #2: Yeah, the clinic said it was bedbugs. And I'm like, "Bedbugs?!" It's not like I have dead bodies layin' around, or anything.
Casino
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: so, where are they?
Categories: Animals | Coworkers | Health & Hygiene | Mississippi | Stupidity | Posted 2010-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have You Learned So Little from The Sweetest Thing?
Teen girl in bathroom #1: I'd hate to be a guy and have to use a urinal.
Teen girl in bathroom #2: Oh yeah, that thing looks unsanitary.
Teen girl in bathroom #1: Not even that, but like if you had to go poop then everyone would know it.
Teen girl in bathroom #3: You can't poop in a urinal?
High School
Coral Springs, Florida
Categories: Compare and contrast | Florida | Gender issues | Pee | Poop | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2010-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook