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I'd Suggest a Rollerblades Tour
Fat American female tourist to new best friend: If ya didn't like the Vatican, you're gonna hate the Louvre!
6th Floor, Hilton Arc de Triumph
Paris
France
Overheard by: Pope Andrew I
If It Could Happen to Lance Armstrong, It Could Happen to Anybody!
Girl #1: I'm all freaked out now! I bet you she's pregnant! My sister's pregnant!
Girl #2: I'm sure she's not pregnant, you're assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
The FDA Has Less Influence Every Year
Woman: Do you have mothballs?
CVS employee: (after thinking for a few seconds) Is that a protein bar?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nana
Categories: Default | Offers and requests | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes
Student: I bet half of the kids are still going to show up at the computer room.
Teacher: You think half of them will, or half of them won't?
East Meadow Drive
Palo Alto, California
Categories: California | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kind They Blind You With
Girl #1: What's Scientology?
Girl #2: Isn't it like, you know, science?
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Dave
Next Time Put the Message in a Bottle
Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there's people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?
Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: How did it get there?
Plus We'd Have to Be Open and Honest About Our Feelings
White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I'm so glad you two aren't black! Then I'd have to put all those little beads in your hair and--well I'm just really glad.
Versailles, Kentucky
Humorless Girl Was the Most Depressing Of the X-Men
Victoria's Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria's Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn't make sense. Then they would be free.
Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Categories: Clothes | Compare and contrast | Customers | Default | Employees | Girls | Guys | Malls | Money | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Stupidity | Wishes | Words | Posted 2008-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rain on Your Wedding Day, for Instance, Is Just Good Luck
[At computer lab.]
Student #1: Try looking up "irony-", that might work.
Student #2: Irony isn't even a word, idiot.
Royalton, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lynn
Because He Was a Lame Duck
Chick: So, they haven't actually had a mayor since the last one had to be euthanized...
Honors Lounge, Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
But We Call Them "American Voters"
American chick #1: Ohmigod! Look at those white cows! I've never seen cows like that before!
American chick #2: Maybe they're albino... Or it could be a special British type of cow.
Guy sitting behind them: ... Those are sheep.
Bus, Southern England
Overheard by: pretends to be Canadian
A Metaphor for Their Entire Life
Jock #1: Yo, dude, so you know how to get there?
Jock #2: Naw, man.
Jock #1: You don't know how to get there?
Jock #2: Where?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Friends | Jocks | New York | Offers and requests | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2008-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do I Need to Show You the Algorithm Again?
Guy: I would ask her out, but she's just so dumb. I mean, like, soo dumb.
Girl: Can't you just overlook that for one night?
Guy: She's not quite cute enough.
San Jose, California
Categories: Beauty | California | Girls | Guys | Questions | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, Technically 'Martians' and 'Venusians'
Guy in sociology class: So male and female... Are those races?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Class | Education | Gender issues | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Race | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Am One With My Car
Young woman to girl, after car accident: Do you have car insurance or anything?
College girl: Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Young woman: ... Uhh... That would be health insurance.
South Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Charlee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Offers and requests | Questions | Sorority types | Stupidity | Vermont | Women | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good Point --No Effect on Religious Beliefs
Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?
Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself
Categories: Bimbettes | Class | Compare and contrast | Crimes | Education | History | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Questions | Religion | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fool Me Twice, Shame on Morton's
Freshman girl: Never snort salt.
Other freshman girl: I know, right! It burns so bad!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Shelby
Categories: Advice | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Sensory experiences | Sorority types | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If We'd Really Won, We'd Still Have Those Cool Accents
Boy holding a box of revolutionary war army men: Mom, who won this war?
Mom: Y'know, I'm not sure.
Craft Store
Wisconsin
Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?
Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don't we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?
Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: drunkbigirls
Or Striptionary?
MIT frat boy #1: I'm just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um... Sure.
Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Brian
Categories: Compare and contrast | Education | Frat boy types | Friends | Games | Guys | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Restaurants | Sexuality | Students | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Terry McAuliffe: Shhhhhh!
Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there's more than one?
JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: baffled
Hello? You're Going to Accessorize an Accessory?
Teen girl, shouting: It is time to accessorize my baby!
Aurora, Colorado
Golden Showers Count As "Animal," Right?
Mid-20s girl: So, I've been a vegetarian for about six years now and I'm trying to phase out all animal products.
Mid-40s woman: Oh, I could never be a vegetarian, I'd die. I like my potatoes too much.
Mid-20s girl: Umm... Potatoes are vegetables.
Mid-40s woman: Yeah, I guess you're right. But I mean like peas and stuff.
Kokomo, Indiana
Overheard by: Justin
Sternum, Scrotum: Scranton
Girl #1: Owww, my sternum hurts. Wait...I have one of those, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Don't only boys have sternums?
[pause]
Girl #3: I think you're thinking of scrotum...
University of Scranton
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Gender issues | Girls | Maladies | Pennsylvania | Questions | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then What's Sap?
Girl: Mister, what's that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That's crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What's pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.]
[Whole class laughs.]
High School
Austin, Texas
Looks Who's Talking, Mister "The-Pirate-Movie-Was-Rated-Arrr"
Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He's a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]
Guy #2: I haven't seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
You Expected More from a Stoner at McDonald's?
Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald's
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Categories: Bragging | California | Compare and contrast | Friends | Guys | McDonald's | Stoners | Stupidity | Technology | Words | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though I'm Still Working on Context
Girl walking with two guys: I'm going to teabag you! ...I'm so glad I know what that means now!
WSU
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Happiness | Sex | Stupidity | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, but We're Also in Boston
Girl #1: And yeah... She had these stains on her teeth.
Girl #2: Ew! Why... We're in America.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Feelings | Friends | Geography | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Massachusetts | Mouth | Stupidity | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Conversion in Progress --Please Stand Back
Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn't have a price!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: oh, jesus
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Geography | Gifts | Girls | Guys | Jesus | Jews | Money | New Jersey | Religious fanatics | Stupidity | Posted 2008-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Still Has Traces of a Soul
Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her...
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Friends | Girls | Offers and requests | Relationships | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only When I'm Drunk
Chick #1: I miss my car.
Chick #2: I miss my car too. Not like, driving it or anything. But I miss my car. We've been through so much together --four accidents, hitting a mailbox, and a lot of repairs. But I'm not like, a bad driver or anything.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Categories: Bragging | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Friends | Idiots | Sorority types | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean Geraniums!
Woman #1: Where did you go to college?
Woman #2: University of Cape Town.
Woman #1: Oh, is that in Virginia?
Woman #2: No, it's actually in South Africa.
Woman #1: Ohhhh, sorry, I'm bad with geometry.
Woman #2: ...
Woman #1: I mean geology!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Actually, that was my mom.
Hey, Loaf Quilting Is the Wave of the Future
Student, discussing a character's problems: It's like he's in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: ... Do you mean a rock and a hard place?
English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Or A-Rod's Rod
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn't even see Derek Jeter's ass! ... Or anyone's ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Or Is That Necrophilia?
Social problems teacher: So what are some social problems that affect us today?
Female student: Murder?
Teacher: Yeah, that's good. [writes it on the white board.] Any others?
Male student: Narcissism?
Teacher: I don't quite understand...
Male student: Well if people are falling asleep all the time and they don't know it...
Grand Rapids Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan
We're Getting Closer to an Answer All the Time
Guy #1: How much have you had to drink?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: But how many?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: Yeah, how many beers have you had?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: How many have you had though?
Guy #2: I'm only drinking beers tonight.
Pinehaven
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty