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I Told You When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window
Father: So, any luck with finding a jacket?
Teenage daughter: No, but somebody tried to sell me drugs.
Father: Well, that's something.
Victoria Market
Melbourne
Australia
Would You Mind Taking a Picture Of Us With It?
[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]
Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we're just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!
Vons
Ventura, California
Categories: California | Customers | Default | Employees | Food | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Shopping | Stores | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Why Are My Hands Silver After Touching It?
Tourist: Is it solid silver?
Salesman: Let me show you. First, do you know how to tell the difference between solid silver and silver plate?
Tourist: No.
Salesman: This is solid silver.
Dodgy Souvenir Shop
Egypt
Categories: Africa | Compare and contrast | Customers | Default | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Shopping | Stores | Tourists | Posted 2008-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...For Not Telling My Servants to Buy More
Student girl: Aw man, I've no food in the house. It's like I've been robbed, but it's my fault!
Sainsbury's
Lancaster
England
I Knew I Should've Let the Doctor Keep You a Girl
Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we'll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I'm not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I'm not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]
Luton
England
You Have the Hairbrushes, Right?
Girl, wearing leather pants and high heels, pushing a cart containing D batteries, duct tape, and huge bag of rice, on cell: I don't know why he's so smug, I told him what I would do to him if I caught him again. [pause] Okay, well I've almost got everything I need, I'll be right over.
Wal-Mart
Lufkin, Texas
Overheard by: wtf?
Categories: Bimbettes | Girls | On the phone | Relationships | Shopping | Stores | Texas | Threats | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You're Really Bad, I'll Make You Go in the Ball Pit
Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]
Father: Then stop touching shit!
Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Molly BOOM
I Wonder If the Hospital Would Give Me a Discount If I Produced in Bulk
Black woman, to friend: I love Costco. It makes me like, want to have five kids.
Costco
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Default | Feelings | Friends | Gender issues | Offspring | Pennsylvania | Shopping | Stores | Wishes | Women | Posted 2008-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, That Self-Actualization Seminar Was a Bust
Nine year-old girl: I want that shirt and you are going to get it for me. Any questions?
Mom: Many. Shut up and put the damn shirt back.
Target
Atlanta, Georgia
If You Require Further Explanation, You Definitely Need to Attend.
Hot chick: I'm having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don't get it?
Hot chick: What's there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don't get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party -only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
Which Is Much More Important Than Sending Her to School
Woman on cell: I saw the most adorable little cheetah, so I bought it for her. You know, I am the one who assigns personalities to all her animals. We have a ritual.
3rd Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California
Categories: Animals | California | Default | On the phone | Shopping | Women | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Want Those in Watermelon, Too?
16-year-old female lifeguard: Hey, I'm running to 7-Eleven to get a Slurpee... Anyone want anything?
14-year-old male lifeguard: Yeah, can I get some watermelon Bubble Yum and... [lowers voice and looks around suspiciously] ... some condoms?
16-year-old female lifeguard: Um...
Vienna, Virginia
To Buy from Us Is to Be Royally Fucked
Cute chick on cell: No, I'm on my way to work. Come visit me there! ... No, it's not weird! ... Well, yeah, it's a sex shop, but it's a boutique sex shop!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Want her business card
Categories: Advice | Australia | Chicks | On the phone | Shopping | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Am So Through with Jesus
Haggard drunk woman to group of drunk men: He says he loves me but won't even buy me a cupcake!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Food | Massachusetts | Shopping | Women | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know Which Kind of "Special" Your Kid Is
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik's Cube. He'd probably eat it.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik's cubes
Now, Honey, You Know I Prefer Brushes with Metal Studs
Little girl holding up toilet brush: Hey, Mom, I could scrub your butt with this when we get home if we buy it!
Target
Enfield, Connecticut
Categories: Ass | Connecticut | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Shopping | Posted 2008-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks to the Child Labor Laws
Little boy running from price scanner: Mom, my hand's not for sale!
Target, 2255 14th Avenue SE
Albany, Oregon
Overheard by: Miranda
You Try Getting Vaginal Juice and Chocolate Sauce Out of Shag
Lesbian: You might think I'm weird, but what if we put in rubber floors?
Girlfriend: Um, no. [Lesbian #1 stalks off toward drywall materials, muttering under her breath.]
Home Depot
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Categories: Lesbos | Pennsylvania | Shopping | Posted 2007-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You'd Like to Hide a Buck Knife in a Teddy Bear
Woman at counter: [Mumbling.]
Clerk: No, we don't carry weapons here.
Hallmark Store
St. Joseph, Michigan
Overheard by: but if you try the precious moments store...
Why Child Psychologists Exist
Mom singing to two small boys and a baby in stroller: One, two, three, four! We're going to the panty store! We're going to the panty store! We're going to the panty store!
Victoria's Secret
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Joanna
I Feel Better Already
Waitress indicating empty seat: Would she like some dessert when she gets back?
Recently abandoned old man: No. She wasn't feeling good so she went to the Hallmark Store.
Atlas Diner, Strawbridge
Virginia Beach, Virginia
We're Gonna Win This Science Fair for Sure!
Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.
Austin, Texas
Don't Go Pulling That String in This Country
Pushy rug salesman: Look at these beautiful rugs! How great would they look in your home?
Woman: Yeah, you know, I don't really need a rug...
Pushy rug salesman: Well, nobody needs a rug!
Woman, angrily: Well, then why are you selling them, sir?!
671 South La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: I don't really need a rug, either
Categories: California | Employees | Shopping | Posted 2007-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Oh, Did I Say That Out Loud?
Eight-year-old boy to self while looking at China teapots: I just love the stuff in here. It's so breakable -- that's what's great about it. That, and it's shiny.
500 Shawnee Street
Leavenworth, Kansas
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Kansas | Shopping | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
