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But I'm the One Who Lobbied the Administration for a Pole!

RA: You guys went stripping without me?

Swarthmore College
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania


Categories: Feelings | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sexuality | Students | Posted 2011-08-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Do I Need to Draw Those Diagrams for You Again?

Preppy cutie, about steroided-up jock: Oh my god! He just winked at me!
Sarcastic friend: You sure it's not a twitch?
Preppie cutie: Your mom has a twitch! That's how she had you!
(friends stare)
Friend
: What?!


El Paso, Texas

Overheard by:


Categories: Body parts | Preppies | Questions | Sexuality | Texas | Words | Posted 2011-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

What?

Father to son, on golf course: Yeah, while you were away I though about hiring someone to rape me.
Son: What?
Father: It's supposed to really improve your golf swing!

Eagle, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Dads | Kids | Leisure | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Perhaps You Should Get That Checked Out?

Old man: You got bats in your belfry?
Jaded 20-something: Yeah, I don't know what I've got in my belfry...

Jersey City, New Jersey


Categories: Animals | New Jersey | Old folks | Penis | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2011-08-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...She's a Good, Honest Whore

Angry guy, loudly: My sister is not a fetish model!

Greenport Harbor Brewery
Long Island, New York


Overheard by: Ladle


Categories: Family ties | Guys | New York | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Confirming Everything I Know About Male Swimmers

Teenage boy to his mother: There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in the team area. It got all over my face, but none of it got in my mouth.

Summer League Swim Meet
Ashburn, Virginia


Categories: Body parts | Sexuality | Teens | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

There Were Also Squirt Guns!

Girl to another: It was a gay bicycle riders' party, complete with gayish celebration music and lots of champagne corks popping. And by the looks of the constant make-out and groping sessions, I'm pretty sure those bottles weren't the only cylindrical things spewing liquids last night.

Atlanta, Georgia


Categories: Georgia | Girls | Gossip | Music | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2011-06-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If Men Won't Be Men, Then Women Will

Emo boy to mother in women's clothing store: I'm more feminine than anyone in here!

Coffs Harbour
Australia


Categories: Australia | Bragging | Guys | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So Being Gay Might Be the Only Cool Thing He Has Going for Him

30-something gay man to friend: I don't know if he is gay or not, but he worked at Starbucks and he had a lisp.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Peter Piper


Categories: Gays | Gossip | Jobs & Careers | Michigan | Sexuality | Posted 2011-06-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just When You Thought Comic Book Guy Didn't Exist in Real Life...

Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? "I'm the best even though I'm fat"?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


Categories: Beauty | Character | Girls | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2011-06-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Period.

Girl to friend: All you have to do is say something about menstruation and every man within earshot becomes uncomfortable.

Michigan State University


Categories: Etiquette | Girls | Michigan | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2011-06-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But If Your Only Other Choice Is Golf...

Roommate, through wall: Oh, Ellen*, not naked psychology again...

St Andrews
Scotland


Categories: Guys | Relationships | Scotland | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And They'll Be All, "Whooee, One Of Them Fancy Women!"

Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, "hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!"

Raleigh, North Carolina


Categories: Clothes | Geography | Money | North Carolina | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2011-05-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Love This Game!

Chick: Guess who's a lesbian couple again instead of creepy incest twins!

Washington Monument
Washington, DC


Overheard by: Ladle


Categories: Girls | Leisure | Sexuality | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2011-04-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Ultra-boring Game Show Prickle Factor Was Canceled After Just One Episode.

Guy#1: I just don't like shaved vaginas. They creep me out. I got down there and I was like "Oh"!
Guy#2: Yeah, you have the prickle factor.
Guy#1: There was no prickle factor...

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Josh


Categories: Feelings | Guys | Illinois | Sexuality | Vagina | Posted 2011-03-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mom Put the "C" in "ROTC"

Geek #1: So, was your mom a very loose woman when she was in college?
Geek #2: Well, not really, but back when she was in the military, she was.

Morgantown, West Virginia

Overheard by: Mint

...So, Logically, We Should Fuck Their Assholes.

Guy to another: You know we're dating the nicest girls in the world, right? And we took their virginities! So you know that if we break up with them we're gonna be the assholes. We're fucked.

Jersey City, New Jersey


Categories: Guys | New Jersey | Relationships | Sexuality | Virginity | Posted 2011-03-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Edna and Paul's Relationship Begins to Flounder

Husband to wife: I've been married to you for 35 years and I still don't understand your thought process on trout.

Florence, Kentucky


Categories: Couples | Kentucky | Philosophy | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2011-03-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And I'm Allergic to Flannel.

Anime-loving teenager on cell: So it's like I'm a lesbian in a man's body. Except I like boys.

CTrain
Calgary
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Gender issues | On the phone | Sexuality | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2011-02-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Trust Me

Student: The trophoblast looks like a teething ring!
Sex ed teacher: Yes. It looks like a teething ring, but it's not.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin


Overheard by: Akuaku


Categories: Education | Science | Sexuality | Students | Teachers | Wisconsin | Posted 2011-01-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Or Limit Themselves to Christian Side Hugs, Like We Do

Guy: Well, the Republican party is doing that right now.
Easily offended girl: I don't generalize!
Guy: Well then, what about homosexuality?
Easily offended girl: Oh, they should all burn in hell!

West Texas A&M University


Categories: Girls | Guys | Philosophy | Politics | Sexuality | Texas | Wishes | Posted 2011-01-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Maybe "Pedophile" Is a Hot New Non-Alcoholic Cocktail?

Young woman to another: Oh, you could pull that off, but *I* would like a pedophile.
Passer-by to friend: I don't think that means what she thinks it means... We can only hope.

Phildelphia, Pennsylvania


Categories: Friends | Pennsylvania | Sexuality | Wishes | Women | Words | Posted 2011-01-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Right Tool for the Job, and So Forth

Roller girl: So you either need a lesbian or a bearing press.

Yonkers, New York


Categories: Advice | Gadgets | Girls | New York | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2011-01-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And That They're Ladies

Econ professor: Now, if you'll look to the upper-right corner of the handout, you'll see some pretty ladies. Since this handout is somewhat blurry, you can't see them very well, so you'll just have to take my word that they're pretty.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin


Categories: Beauty | Education | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Teachers | Wisconsin | Posted 2011-01-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Santa Sure Has Changed Over the Years.

Girl to friend: He's like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.

Plymouth, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Liz Nelson


Categories: Animals | Compliments | Friends | Girls | New Hampshire | Sexuality | Smoking | Posted 2011-01-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Translation: She Won't Leave Her Husband for Me

Lesbian, about ex girlfriend: I mean, the only thing liberal about her is she's gay.

Atlanta, Georgia


Categories: Georgia | Lesbos | Politics | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2011-01-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Nothing's Sweeter Than Frozen Semen

Old broad #1: Well, you heard that they froze his semen, right?
Old broad #2, gasping: Really?
Old broad #1: Of course! I mean, Susan* would love to have more children with Thomas*, you know, but on account of the cancer, it just makes things a little difficult.
Old broad #2: That's so sweet...

Salon
Madison, Wisconsin


Categories: Maladies | Questions | Sexuality | Wisconsin | Posted 2010-12-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Calls Himself a "Demosexual"

Woman #1: The Democrats were bound to lose the House majority, though... Oh, did you hear about David?
Woman #2: What about him?
Woman #1: Well, he recently came out.
Woman #2: Oh my god! As a Democrat?

University of North Texas


Categories: Politics | Questions | Sexuality | Texas | Women | Words | Posted 2010-12-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Way to Start Off the Marriage with a Splash!

50-something Southern belle: We got married last year and he refused to leave for the honeymoon until he went gator hunting. We didn't consummate for three days!

South Carolina


Categories: Gripes | Relationships | Sexuality | South Carolina | Women | Posted 2010-12-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Plus I Can't Color-coordinate a Window-Valence Worth a Darn!

60-year-old drunk in bar: The only reason I've never tried being gay is because I'm afraid I might like it.

Sandy Springs, Georgia

Overheard by: Me too...


Categories: Drunks | Fears | Feelings | Georgia | Sexuality | Posted 2010-12-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Shall I Demonstrate on This Turkey?

EMS instructor, about female reproductive system: Backing away from this now... We don't want to get too deep into it.

Bergen County SMS Academy
New Jersey


Overheard by: Emt student


Categories: New Jersey | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Teachers | Uterus | Vagina | Posted 2010-12-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

There Were Complaints About My Moaning

Girl: My boobs are fun to play with.
Guy: You're just now figuring this out, after 30-some years?
Girl: Hey, I haven't had my boobs that long!
Guy: Okay, 20-some years?
Girl: No, I remember discovering they were fun in the 6th grade. I was in the middle of class, though, so that was kind of awkward.

Denver, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Girls | Guys | Rack | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

When You Built Me That Bird-Feeder from Scratch

Sixteen-year-old blonde goth: I think I want to be a lesbian.
Teenage friend: I thought you were one.

Salem, Oregon

Overheard by: Geneva


Categories: Bringing it back to you | Gender issues | Goths | Oregon | Sexuality | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2010-12-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Shit, That's What the Bible Says

Professor, discussing sperm's passage to egg: "Come and chase me!" That's what the woman says.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey


Categories: Body parts | Euphemisms | New Jersey | Sex | Sexuality | Teachers | Uterus | Posted 2010-11-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...In Other Words, Pie

Blonde girl: I like summer fruits... Like strawberries.
Guy: What about others?
Blonde girl: Only if it's puree, or used in a sexual nature.

Masters' Room
University of Auckland
New Zealand


Categories: Bimbettes | Fruit | New Zealand | Sexuality | Toys | Posted 2010-11-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sir, You Have My Attention

Guy, walking on the sidewalk under row of windows: So, on the subject of vaginas...

Portland, Oregon


Categories: Creepsters | Oregon | Sexuality | Vagina | Words | Posted 2010-11-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'm All, "Fuck the Planet, Let's Party!"

Guy: Trust me, I'm a gay scientist!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire


Categories: Advice | Bragging | Illinois | Jobs & Careers | Queers | Sexuality | Posted 2010-11-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Your Editors Would Like to Thank Her for "Balls Deep in Rainbow Town"

20-something girl #1, laughing: Your son is totally gay!
20-something girl #2: He so is! He reminds me of Jack from Dawson's Creek. He's athletic and can play it pretty hetero, but deep down he's balls-deep in rainbow town. Very impressive for a five-year-old.

Roseville, California

Overheard by: MeganMama


Categories: California | Gender issues | Kids | Moms | Sexuality | Posted 2010-11-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

To Errol Is Human. My Dick: Divine.

Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.

Leamington Spa
England


Overheard by: Bleep


Categories: Couples | Feelings | Names | Penis | Sexuality | UK | Vagina | Posted 2010-11-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...And You're Wearing It Now!

College girl #1: I have never taken my shirt off!
College girl #2: Wait, didn't you wear a see-through one before?
College girl #1: That was you, you whore!

UC Santa Cruz
California


Overheard by: Eric


Categories: Bimbettes | California | Clothes | Fashion | Insults | Sexuality | Posted 2010-10-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Isn't That The L Word's Go-To Plot?

High school girl on phone: Wait... How do I rape you?

Denver, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Questions | Sexuality | Teens | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2010-10-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Voters Are Evenly Split on My Ovaries

Girl to friend: But yeah, my uterus sucks. I wish I just had a vagina and it ended there. But I do love my pancreas!

University of Arizona


Categories: Arizona | Chicks | Maladies | Sexuality | Uterus | Vagina | Posted 2010-10-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Have Standards; They're Just Substandard

Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'd give him a blow job him if he gave me $100.
Sorority girl #2: So you'd prostitute yourself for low 3 figures?
Sorority girl #1: No! It's not like I would ever have sex with him, no matter how much he paid me! He's disgusting!

Indiana University Southeast


Categories: BJs | Character | Indiana | Money | Sexuality | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2010-10-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Was Like, "Sorry, I'm Trying to Cut Down"

Skinny guy: He's coming to the party tonight? Wasn't he hitting on your girlfriend last time?
Big burly bearded guy: No, she texted me last night. She talked to his roommate: turns out he wasn't inviting her to a threesome 'cause he likes her. He was inviting us to a foursome 'cause he likes me.

Ontario
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Guys | Infidelity | Questions | Sex | Sexuality | Skinny people | Posted 2010-10-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Oh, Brother.

Sorority girl, upset: And then her other sister had sex with my sister!

University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida


Overheard by: really curious about the rest of that conversation

Most Girls Fear Being Gaynablers

Young boyfriend, trying to weasel out of seeing Legally Blonde 2: I... I just don't think I'm emotionally ready for the uncut version. Do you think I'm ready? I don't.
Young girlfriend: You should have pulled the "it might make me gay" card.
Friend: I think his way was more gay.
Young girlfriend: Which concerns me...

Scotrun, New York


Categories: Compare and contrast | Couples | Feelings | Friends | Movies | New York | Sexuality | Posted 2010-09-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Superman Gets So Much Girlie Action.

Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women's tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women's tights make your junk look bigger!

Commuter Train
Stockholm
Sweden


Overheard by: strictly boxers.


Categories: Clothing | Coworkers | Gender issues | Penis | Sexuality | Strangers | Stupidity | Sweden | Train | Posted 2010-09-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then She Turned Him Gay With Her Womanliness

Female professor: She was a lesbian...
Male student: Yeah, she was.
Female professor: But he turned her straight with his manliness...
Male student: Yeah, he did.

Appalachian State University
Boone, North Carolina

Twins!

Voice #1: I'm in the wrong bathroom!
Voice #2: I'm in the wrong bathroom, too!

Airport
Minnesota


Categories: Minnesota | Pee | Poop | Sexuality | Strangers | Posted 2010-09-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Well I Love the Netting.

Woman to son: That's the dress Larry Bird Johnson wore to the inauguration.

First Ladies Exhibit, Smithsonian
Washington, DC


Overheard by: Dave White


Categories: About celebrities | Clothing | Kids | Moms | Sexuality | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2010-09-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Like God, If They Didn't Exist, TV Would Have to Invent Them

Young film intern asked to come up with new story: What about a girl surrounded by her sassy, lesbian friends? Do lesbians come in sassy?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: I honestly don't know


Categories: Employees | Movies | New York | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2010-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

None Of Them Are Filtered

Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn't, I don't smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I'm not gay!

Park
Cincinnati, Ohio


Categories: Kids | Mouth | Ohio | Sexuality | Smoking | Teens | Thugs | Posted 2010-08-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Straight Guys Totally Understand Why Girls Like Girls

Short skinny emo girl: I'm half gay.
Preppy dude walking by: There is so much to say there, so much to say.

Natick, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Un-gay friend.


Categories: Gender issues | Girls | Massachusetts | Preppies | Sexuality | Skinny people | Posted 2010-08-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

What Have Mom and Dad Been Telling You, Anyway?

Girl, watching painting: That's a girl, she's got those things. (points to nipples)
Boy: It's a boy! Grown-up boys have those, too. I've seen them.
Girl: It's a girl!
Boy: No, boys have them too; they just don't do as much. The girls' milk, the boys' don't.

Art Gallery
Portland, Oregon


Categories: Gender issues | Girls | Guys | Nipples | Oregon | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2010-08-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Must Be Gay, Then

Boy: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Cute, chubby girl, with suspicion: No...
Boy: Can I get your number?
Girl: No.
Boy: Why?
Girl: I'm gay.
Boy: Oh... Really?
Girl: No. Sorry. Creeper reflex.
Boy: So you wanna go out?
Girl: No.

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

B-

Fine arts teacher: Michelangelo and Donatello. They were both brilliant, they were both homosexual, they were both... Both...
Girl: Ninja turtles!

Ohio


Categories: Education | Girls | Ohio | Sexuality | Stupidity | TV shows | Teachers | Posted 2010-08-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Kinda Like Disney World?

20-something guy: I had a threesome once with two lesbians. They were eating each other's pussies out. It was fun.
20-something girl: You liked it?
20-something guy: I didn't say I liked it. I said it was fun.

Norman, Oklahoma


Categories: Girls | Guys | Oklahoma | Sensory experiences | Sex | Sexuality | Vagina | Posted 2010-08-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Don't You Mean "Fabulous"?

Five-year-old boy to mom: Does it feel weird to have a vagina?
Mom: Well, I've had one my whole life, so it feels normal to me.
Five-year-old boy: I wish I knew what it felt like to have one!
Mom: I'm pretty sure you'll be a member of the LGBT community anyway, so maybe you'll find out.
Five-year-old boy: What's LGBT?
Mom: You'll find out soon enough, honey.
Five-year-old boy: That sounds really cool!

Roseville, California

Overheard by: Nature vs Nurture


Categories: California | Feelings | Gender issues | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Questions | Sexuality | Vagina | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-08-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

At Least We Have the Alt-world Version

Girl #1: I was so disappointed when I found out Neil Patrick Harris is gay!
Girl #2: I know, right?
Girl #1: It's such a loss for womankind!
Girl #2: Men don't deserve him!

Women's Dressing Room
Western Michigan University

K-Fed: Explained.

Scruffy guy: Shit, I'd suck dick for money. I've always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper... or a whore.

Gainesville, Florida


Categories: BJs | Florida | Gender issues | Guys | Insults | Money | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2010-07-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Nature: 3 Nurture: 0

Five-year-old boy, watching news about Priscilla Queen of the Desert on tv: Those ladies look very strange.
Dad: They're actually men dressed as ladies, Edward.
Five-year-old boy: I'm going to dress like that when I'm a man!

London
England


Overheard by: Murray


Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Dads | England | Kids | Kids | Parenting | Sexuality | TV shows | Posted 2010-07-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Landscaping

Attractive girl: Lesbians aren't there for your entertainment.
Young guy: Well, gays aren't there to be your shopping assistants, yet somehow you seem to have pulled that off. I figure we can do the same thing, except instead of shopping, it's sex.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: veryinterestedin this plan


Categories: Gender issues | Girls | Guys | Sex | Sexuality | Shopping | Texas | Posted 2010-07-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now Tom Cruise Has It

White-haired 60-something lady on cell: I can't live there anymore. (pause) No, it's not that. She's trying to force her Scientology on me. (pause) Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, she's not a lesbian anymore. She joined Scientology to change her from being lesbian. (pause) They made her lesbian side go away.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana


Categories: Louisiana | On the phone | Religion | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2010-06-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So Gay Men Aren't the Target Demograpic for That?

Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good...
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: TMI


Categories: Fag hags | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Licking | Queers | San Francisco | Sex | Sexuality | Vagina | Posted 2010-06-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

God Bless the USA!

English professor: "My wife, Bob, is pregnant." Polygamy, pregnant men, gay marriage--it's got it all!

University of Rock County
Wisconsin


Overheard by: Aku

On the Plus Side, When I Get There, I Can Make Pie!

20-something girl: I am so bad with directions. I can't find my way around anywhere.
20-something guy: That's because you're a woman.
20-something girl: Way to be sexist! (long pause) But yeah, you're probably right.

Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Gosh, You're Such a Luke.

Guy: And then I'll go home and watch Gilmore Girls. (awkward silence) I mean something manly.

London
England


Overheard by: ohdear


Categories: Gender issues | Guys | Sexuality | TV shows | UK | Posted 2010-05-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

He Keeps Muttering About My Becoming Self-Supporting

Teen girl: My dad bought me an iPhone but he took it away when he found my pot. I'm so pissed.
Emo teen: You live in Portland. Either you're gay, you enjoy molesting children, or you do every drug available for free. Or all of the above. What the hell does he expect of you?

Portland, Oregon


Categories: Cell phones | Drugs | Family ties | Kids | Oregon | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2010-05-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

A Gay Man Who Looks at a Straight Man Sees Only His Anima

Young gay guy #1: Dude! You were like so throwing yourself at him. What happened?
Young gay guy #2: I think he's a lesbian.

College of Western Idaho

Overheard by: Another lesbian traped in a mans body


Categories: Colleges & Universities | Idaho | Queers | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2010-05-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We're Too Aroused to Think Straight

Women studies professor, during discussion about nymphomaniacs: Ladies, are there any of you who are in a constant state of arousal?
Class: (uncomfortable silence)
Professor: Let me rephrase that. Are you constantly ready to engage in sex?
Student, alarmed: Professor, I don't think any of us are comfortable with answering this question.

Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey


Categories: Colleges & Universities | New Jersey | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Teachers | Women | Posted 2010-05-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...As Is Jewish Custom.

20-something girl on cell: She washed all the fruit before putting it into the bowl. (pause) We're gonna need a medium-sized male stripper to go along with it, also.

NJ Transit
New Jersey


Categories: Fruit | New Jersey | On the phone | Sexuality | Posted 2010-05-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I've Got a Case for Her

Guy to friend looking at beer: Yeah, I better get some if she's coming over. She's the only girl I've ever been with that can drink more than me. Which is kinda scary... and kinda hot.

New Castle, Indiana


Categories: Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Indiana | Sexuality | Posted 2010-05-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Minus the Herpes

Tall, redhead girl: I'm worried that people are getting a little too comfortable being pantless around me.
Petite, indian girl: I wish I was you...

Massachusetts


Categories: Girls | Massachusetts | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2010-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then They Blew Each Other

High school girls: Then Mr Jones* said "if anybody knows an easy-23-year old, let me know." and Jeff* told him "dude if I knew an easy 23-year-old, I wouldn't tell you."

Bus
Vancouver
Canadia


Categories: Bus | Canadia | Girls | Offers and requests | Sexuality | Posted 2010-05-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Can't Get a Job Without Experience You Can Only Get from a Job

Guy #1: I was the second person she ever had sex with.
Guy #2: What!?
Guy #1: I know! And it freaked me out! So I never called her again!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Big B


Categories: Assholes | Illinois | Relationships | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2010-04-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Says the Woman Who Has a Crush on Those Twins in The Suite Life Of Zack & Cody?

Queer dad at the back of the line: Ohmigod! There's Rebeca, from cheerleading.
Woman friend: Oh yeah! I hate her, she's so perky.
Queer dad: And irresponsible, she always leaves her kids on the car when she goes anywhere.
Woman: Oh, really?
Queer dad: I mean, who leaves a top of the line Escalade with a smoking hot nine-year-old idling in the parking lot? Especially in this neighborhood!
Woman dad: That is so wrong!
Queer dad: I know!
Woman: No, that you said "smoking" hot nine-year-old.
Queer dad: Oh...

Dunkin Donuts
Manhattan, New York


Overheard by: Billy Splatts!


Categories: Fag hags | Gossip | New York | Queers | Restaurants | Sexuality | Words | Posted 2010-04-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Is That Even Possible?

Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It's the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don't try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that's why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J-Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J... Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.

Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton


Categories: Baristas | Bars & Clubs | Drunks | Insults | Pennsylvania | Sexuality | TV shows | Wishes | Posted 2010-04-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Zac Efron Movie That Should Be Made

Teenage boy, shrieking: He touched my penis! He touched my penis! And I'm gay! I'm gay!

Charleston, South Carolina


Categories: Penis | Queers | Sexuality | South Carolina | Teens | Posted 2010-04-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Were Number Six!

Sex-ed teacher: This 16-year-old girl had nine partners.
Kid in the back: I want to be number ten!

Tampa, Florida


Categories: Comebacks | Florida | Kids | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Teachers | Posted 2010-04-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

With the Paper Bag on His Head?

Girl to friend: What if I am pregnant? How will I know who the father is? Well, if it comes out half Asian it's Jason's. If it comes out a midget it's Thomas's, and if it comes out blurry, it's the unnamed guy.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee


Categories: California | Girls | Parenting | Pregnancy | Race | Sexuality | Posted 2010-03-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Psh, Paula Abdul's Been Trying to Get Away with That Excuse for Years

Security guy: You fell down the stairs.
Girl, trying to convince him that she's sober: Okay, have a gander at these heels.
Security guy: You were also making out with a man on the couch.
Girl: I'm promiscuous!? All your evidence is circumstantial! See, I'm using words like "promiscuous" and "circumstantial." Have you ever met a drunk person who uses such vocabulary?
Security guy: You exhibit all the signs of intoxication, you are underage, we must ask you to leave.
Girl: For the last time, I'm not drunk! This is just my personality!

Beta Nightclub
Denver, Colorado


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Character | Colorado | Cops | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Sexuality | Words | Posted 2010-03-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...And Clear High Heels

College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.

Boulder, Colorado


Categories: Chicks | Clothing | Colorado | Fashion | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Read Your Bible

Drama teacher to girls playing whores in Les Misérables: Come on ladies, skank it up! There's no shame in being a whore!

High School
Utah


Overheard by: Weskimo


Categories: Pride | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Teachers | Utah | Posted 2010-03-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Would You Like to Go Out With Us This Friday?

Freshman boy trying to flirt with girl: I'm from Boston and he's from Boston and he's Chinese and he likes Bruce Lee, naked, naked, naked. (pokes Chinese friend)

University Library
Binghamton, New York


Overheard by: Brianna


Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | New York | Preppies | Sexuality | Posted 2010-03-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Jesuits: Eeexcellent...!

Girl to another: She pulls the virgin card all the time, but she's such a slut.

North Dakota State University

Overheard by: Chelsea

Bed, Bath and Beyoobies Stives to Be Inclusive

Crazy black guy, very loudly to himself: That's the factory where they make gay people, but I don't care, because that's also where they make boobies!

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: tom


Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Rack | Sexuality | Virginia | Posted 2010-02-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Translation: I'm Afraid You'd Kill Me

50-something guy on cell: Yeah, so honestly I don't think this will work out... I think your sexuality is a little... young for me.

Starbucks
Toronto
Canadia


Overheard by: dates older guys

I Don't Bi That for a Minute

Girl to another, leaving bus: But you can't make everybody be gay!

London
England


Categories: England | Girls | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Teenage Boys Live in Fear That Gayness Will Stage a Surprise Attack

Boy holding slinky: I feel weird.
Boy holding other end: It's okay. We've got a slinky!

High School
Eugene, Oregon


Categories: Feelings | Guys | Oregon | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Toys | Posted 2010-02-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

He Just Makes Gay Porn

13-year-old blonde: So then he was all "I told you it wasn't mine!"
13-year-old brunette: Ohmigod, how could he do that?
13-year-old blonde: I know! It was, like, "did you or didn't you sleep with him?" He's not even gay!

Canadia

Overheard by: Laura


Categories: Canadia | Sex | Sexuality | Tweens | Posted 2010-02-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.

Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners... right?

Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York


Overheard by: Ldawg


Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Kids | Moms | New York | Parenting | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2010-02-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wanna See My Needlpoint Thong?

High school freshman, examining friend's boot in hallway: These are like hooker boots, except crochet.

High School
Pennsylvania


Overheard by: One fine piece of needlework

I'm Your Parole Officer, Sir.

Man on cell: I'll see you then. You have a sexy voice... It's nice!

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: ktjane


Categories: Compliments | Guys | On the phone | Oregon | Sexuality | Posted 2010-02-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just When You Thought Human Sexuality Was Complicated Enough, Cloning Arrived.

Girl in debate to two guys at her table: But that doesn't make it gay. You're still having heterosexual sex, but you're just doing it next to yourself.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: true


Categories: Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2010-01-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...I Was Thinking Of a Nice Outing to Pottery Barn.

Girl: Booze!
Masculine gay dude: Fuck, yeah. I just finally finished my antibiotics. I'm gonna go fall off a stripper stage into some tits or somethin'.
Straight friend: Uhhh.

Bangkok
Thailand


Categories: Asia | Drinking & drunks | Fag hags | Maladies | Porn | Queers | Rack | Sexuality | Posted 2010-01-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Skinny Jeans Don't Count, Roger.

Guy: Well, it all started during the week that I was cross-dressing...

Leeds
England


Overheard by: Paul


Categories: Clothes | England | Gender issues | Guys | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Not As Lame As Saying "No" to Drugs, But Close Enough.

Government teacher: The finance committee is sexy. Who wants to be part of the education committee, anyway? They're lame.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Minneapolis Does Its Public Service Announcements a Bit Differently

Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint pedophilia. It's a Catholic church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy, stunned: What the fuck was that?

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: well, that was odd

I Used to Let You Be on Top, Too

Wife to husband bagging groceries: Make sure you don't squish my bread.
Husband: You used to like it when I did that!

Waukesha, Wisconsin


Categories: Couples | Food | Sexuality | Wisconsin | Posted 2009-12-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Your Editors Got 8,890,000 Hits.

Butchy girl: All I know is, I'm never going to Tennesse again.
Femmy girl: Dude, I told you! That is why you google "gay Tennesse" first!

Hazel Park, Michigan

Overheard by: Beth


Categories: Internet | Lesbos | Michigan | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Plus, I Learned to Use a Urinal

Barely legal drunk blonde: Oh my god, I just walked into the guys' washroom. There were guys at the urinals!
Barely legal drunk brunette: It's okay, you were just breaking down gender dichotomies.

Karaoke Bar
Canadia


Overheard by: Tiffany


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bimbettes | Canadia | Drunks | Gender issues | Pee | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Boobies Don't Make You Gag??

Gay professor: He's saying, "I like men and women," and I'm like, "Ew!"

Godfrey, Illinois

Overheard by: M


Categories: Illinois | Queers | Sexuality | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She's Awfully Peesnickety

Drunk guy: I'm so happy I'm a guy. I don't have to wipe after I pee.
Tipsy girl: You should really wipe if you want Lisa* to suck your dick.

Bayonne, New Jersey

Hard to Imagine I'd Ever Get Sick Of Being Objectified

Gay guy: Then we can talk about boys more openly because I'll have long hair, and be pretty and have boobs!
Girl: They're not that fun...
Gay guy: Boobs aren't that fun?
Girl: No! 

Pleasant Grove, Utah

Overheard by: Weskimo


Categories: Beauty | Girls | Hair | Queers | Questions | Rack | Sexuality | Utah | Posted 2009-12-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's Time to Play How Long 'Til His Head Explodes!

French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie... Robin...
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay...
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?

France


Categories: About celebrities | Cell phones | Cops | Foreigners | France | Movies | Names | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

He Would've Assumed You Could Read

Train conductor, to teenage girl with feet on chair: Can you read? (points to sign)
Teenage girl: What...? Oh, sorry. (takes her feet down, conductor walks away)
Suit: He would have never done that if you were a guy.

New Jersey Transit


Categories: Conductors | New Jersey | Public Transportation | Questions | Sexuality | Suits | Teens | Posted 2009-12-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

How Come We Didn't Have Logic Questions Like This in High School?

Jeff: If I was gay I would whip out my dick right now... which I'm about to do.

Plainsboro, New Jersey

Overheard by: Scott


Categories: New Jersey | Penis | Queers | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Oh, Right: "I'm a Smoker Now."

Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?

Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado


Categories: BJs | Bars & Clubs | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Guys | Penis | Questions | Sexuality | Smoking | Posted 2009-12-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Spoken Like Someone Who's Never Seen Mr. Wrong

Teen girl on cell: Cuz you're not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They're funny.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: um...

Which One Of These Makes More Sense to You Says a Lot About You As a Person

Young man: You were in the same gay motorboat?
Girl: No! We were in the same getting-better boat.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: sydblair


Categories: Girls | Guys | Questions | San Francisco | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Loved the Dirges.

Guy in leather to another: I remember when I was a slave...

Dore Alley
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: Out taking photos


Categories: Guys | Kink | Memory lane | San Francisco | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And You Often Get Out Of Limos with No Underwear on

Guy #1: I think you'd make a great Paris Hilton.
Guy #2: I do have a very womanly figure.
Guy #1: And you're a whore.

Chicago, Illinois


Categories: About celebrities | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Guys | Illinois | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Seriously, How Many Times Can The L Word Do This Same Story?

Girl #1: Are you Jane Jones*?
Girl #2: Yes.
Girl #1: I'm you're math tutor, nice to meet you.
Girl #2: Oh, you're cute! I could totally date you, but I'm not a lesbian.
Girl #1: Thanks! I could date you too, but I'm straight, and I have a boyfriend.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Tsunoba


Categories: Arizona | Beauty | Education | Girls | Questions | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Yes, Yes and Yes

Professor: What do you think my fantasy is?
Student: Armpit sex... in a park. No, wait. Menage a trois. All-male in a... ballroom?

Godfrey, Illinois


Categories: Illinois | Kink | Questions | Sexuality | Students | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2009-12-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Gay Guys Just Criticize Your Outfit

Prof: Ladies, I'm just gonna give it to you straight: I guarantee you that almost every straight guy you see today is going to picture you naked.
Techie guy, fixing projector: Fuckin' A!

University of Calgary
Canadia

Your Editors Googled "Lesbian Triplets" and Got Distracted by Porn

College girl #1: So it turned out that he was one of the lesbian triplets!
College girl #2: No way!
College girl #1: Yeah, the tranny!
College girl #2: Owen? I love Owen! I knew him when he still identified as a girl!
College girl #1: Yeah, and it turned out the midget was trans too.

Hampshire College
Amherst, Massachusetts

It's All Fun and Games 'til Somebody Pokes a Baby Out

Loud eighth grader: Michael's such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You're in eighth grade, you shouldn't be letting anybody in your pants!

Potomac, Maryland

Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject...


Categories: Advice | Clothes | Education | Insults | Maryland | Sex | Sexuality | Students | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'll Just Slip Into Something More Comfortable

Evolution professor: So why can't humans have more then just two sexes? Man, that'd be a lot of fun, wouldn't it?
Class: (uncontrollable laughter)
Evolution professor: Oh, I can see. (pause) I shouldn't have said anything, let's continue...

UC
Santa Cruz, California


Overheard by: I'm glad he said it

If You Want Sex from the Girl's Perspective, Consider Prison

Teenage boy to teenage girl: I wish I could get in the car with lesbians... Wait, no, I don't.

Tinton Falls, New Jersey


Categories: New Jersey | Sexuality | Teens | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Your Editors Are Also Totally Gay for Fuzzy Unicorn Shirts

Teen girl #1: Are you doing it with her, too?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I'm totally gay for Meg* and her fuzzy unicorn shirt.
Teen girl #3, laughing and choking: I'm not suppose to die choking! I'm the only one who knows CPR!

Harrison, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren


Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Death & dying | Health & Hygiene | Michigan | Questions | Sex | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-11-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She's Worried I'll Don Their Gay Apparel

Teenage scene girl: I'm going to American Apparel to apply for a job.
Friend: Do you think you'll get the job?
Teenage scene girl: Yeah, but I don't think my mom will let me.
Friend: Why?
Teenage scene girl: There are lesbians there.

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York


Categories: Friends | Girls | Jobs & Careers | McDonald's | New York | Parenting | Questions | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-10-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Even When He Shouted Out My Name As He Was Finishing.

Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!

Cork
Ireland


Categories: Drugs | Food | Girls | Guys | Ireland | Masturbation | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Next Stupid State Referendum

Loudspeaker in airport: Please don't leave your belongings unattended.
Crazy lady, to no one: Did they just say homosexuality isn't allowed in the airport?

Airport
Oakland, California


Overheard by: Kristina

Your Editors Can't Wait for That Sitcom

Very short gay man: It's so hard being a vegetarian. My parents can't accept my sexuality or my religion... I'm living in a toilet!

Guernsey
England


Overheard by: Catie


Categories: England | Food | Parenting | Queers | Religion | Sexuality | Posted 2009-10-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So You and the Doctors Keep Saying...

Small child entering restroom: Mom, why can't we go to the boys' room? Because I've got a girl with me?
Mom: You are a girl!

Sushi Restaurant
Kansas City, Kansas


Overheard by: zombie z


Categories: Gender issues | Kansas | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Questions | Restaurants | Restroom | Sexuality | Posted 2009-10-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Only on Thursday Nights.

Old man on phone: I am a beautiful woman.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia


Categories: Beauty | Canadia | Gender issues | Old folks | On the phone | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Is This Gonna Be the "Figs Vs. Fags" Debate All Over Again?

Barista: Those aren't dates, those are lesbians!

Dixon, California

Overheard by: Michelle


Categories: Baristas | California | Compare and contrast | Sexuality | Posted 2009-10-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Though, to Be Fair, Masturbating to Hillary Swank Photos Could Go Either Way

Girl #1: She still thinks he's gay.
Girl #2: But he isn't.
Girl #1, laughing: And we have proof.
Girl #2, laughing also: Yes we do!

University of Arizona

Overheard by: Whats the proof


Categories: Arizona | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Gossip | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2009-10-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Gay People Love Having Straight People Speak for Them

Tourist: So, basically, people go to Castro to stare at the gay people making out?
Passenger: Well, the gay people feel more comfortable making out there... Because people aren't staring at them...

Berkeley, California


Categories: California | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Tourists | Posted 2009-10-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Like "Dragon" or "Compassionate Conservative"

20-something American guy: Hermaphrodites are real?
20-something American girl: Well, what did you think they were?
20-something American guy: I thought they were a made-up word, like "unicorn" or something.

Bar
Munich
Germany


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Foreigners | Germany | Girls | Guys | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2009-10-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

All the Good Men Are Either Straight or Extinct

Gay man: I find Neanderthals really attractive. If there were Neanderthals around now, I would be all over that.

Hyattsville, Maryland

Overheard by: prefers guys with smaller noses


Categories: History | Maryland | Queers | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Clay Aiken?

Student: I have that song "Ring My Bell" in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It's not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don't know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song "In the Navy."
Advisor #2: That's not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Disco Dan


Categories: Compare and contrast | Employees | Music | Sexuality | Students | Texas | Posted 2009-10-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So I'll Vote for Him, Too.

Middle-aged male Wasp: I'm voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn't "Wil" only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That's kinda gay.

Denver, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Names | Politics | Sexuality | Stupidity | Whiteys | Posted 2009-10-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But I Just Feel So Comfy in Flannel

Chick: I think that I'm the gayest straight girl in the world.

Bakersfield, California


Categories: California | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2009-09-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Fox: "Can We Base a Reality Series on That Premise?"

Professor: I don't even turn on the television anymore. It's just violence. It's all rape, and gore, and homosexual pedophiles in wheelchairs who chop up grandmothers.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Overheard by: philosopher


Categories: Overheard at McGill | Sex | Sexuality | TV shows | Teachers | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

A Bravo TV Contestant!

School counselor, trying to get kids to guess a career: This person might work in fashion, or decorate houses...
Fourth grader: A gay guy!

Raleigh, North Carolina


Categories: Employees | Jobs & Careers | Kids | North Carolina | Sexuality | Posted 2009-09-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Old Age Homes Are a Lot Like Prison...

Grandmother to granddaughter: Who knows? I might become a lesbian!

Arlington, Ohio


Categories: Family | Ohio | Old folks | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

When a Couple's Goals Conflict

Flamboyant gay guy #1, whispering discretely: I'm going to do you so hard when we get home.
Flamboyant gay guy #2, not whispering: I'm going to shit in your mouth.

Sydney
Australia


Overheard by: MB


Categories: Australia | Backdoor | Kink | Mouth | Poop | Queers | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Child Psychologists Exist

Father, explaining electrical cables to teenage son: Yeah, she's got a transvestite in her wall. But you can convert the tranny back to a female, using the thing in the wall.

Wellington, New Zealand

Overheard by: Jordyn


Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Gender issues | New Zealand | Parenting | Science | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-09-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Just Supposed to Be Having Sex Shamefully in Cars and Stairwells

Boy: Yo soy sexy.
Teacher, hyperventilating: You can't say you're sexy! You're only fifteen years old!

Spanish Class
El Paso, Texas

That Explains the Sweatpants

Drunk girl to guy she just met: I'm not having sex with you!
Drunk guy: That's okay, I'm on my period.

Montreal
Quebec
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Health & Hygiene | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2009-09-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

My Dear Watson, I Believe We've Found Our Culprit.

Private junior high school boy #1: Oh my god, so the other day someone hacked onto my Facebook account and changed everything to gay. My activities were gay, my favorite movies were gay, I was even interested in men!
Private junior high school boy #2, without irony: Dude, that's so gay.

Toronto
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Idiots | Internet | Sexuality | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2009-09-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's Where the Naked Twister Game Is Taking Place

Teen boy #1: Haha, you have to be in the back of the bus.
Teen boy #2: Is that a race thing?
Teen boy #1: No, its a sexual thing.

Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sara


Categories: Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Questions | Race | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-09-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Okay, Love You Too, Grandma. Bye.

iPod girl on cell: I'm eating lunch and listening to lesbian music. (pause) Yeah, The L Word soundtrack. I'm working on becoming a lesbian again. (laughs) I'm just kidding. I'm still gonna drive stick. (pause) That's what happens when you're a cock whore. You can't just give it up cold turkey.

Atlanta, Georgia


Categories: Georgia | Girls | Music | On the phone | Penis | Sex | Sexuality | TV shows | Posted 2009-09-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So "Boy" Is Ironic?

20-something woman to little girl's mother: Do you know who is Boy George?
Little girl: He is a boy that would've wanted to be a woman.
Amused mother: I couldn't have explained that better.

Guadalajara
Mexico


Overheard by: passerby


Categories: About celebrities | Girls | Kids | Kids | Moms | Music | Parenting | Questions | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Then I'll Have to French-Kiss You, in a "Thank-You-for-Smacking-Me" Kind Of Way

Marine #1, on plane: Since you got the window seat, I might lean my head on your shoulder for part of this flight. Not in a gay way, more in a I'm-tired-and-want-to-lean-my-head-on-something kind of way.
Marine #2: Alright, but I might have to smack you. Not in an I-hate-you kind of way, more in a get-your-head-off-my-damn-shoulder kind of way.

Airplane
Atlanta, Georgia

He Feels Guilty When He Calls Things Hot Trannies Messes

Fashionista student: So is he like, Christian gay from project runway?
Oblivious teacher: No, he's like Jewish gay.

American University
Washington, DC


Overheard by: I'm Jewish

Nobody Ever Asked Elvis That

14-year-old boy #1: Dude, try my sunnies on! They're super dark!
(boy #1 hands glasses over to boy #2)
14-year-old boy #2
: Cool, they are pretty dark!

14-year-old boy #3: Hey, cool! They totally go with your hair!
14-year-old boy #2: Are you queer?

Perth
Western Australia
Australia


Categories: Australia | Comebacks | Compliments | Fashion | Hair | Questions | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-08-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Otherwise Known As the "Hockey Team" Effect

Anthropology professor: So they tried so hard to be hetero that they just came out being really homo...
Class: (laughs)
Anthropology professor: ...geneous.

Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Peter

What If It's an Acquired Taste?

Woman #1: Hey, check this out.
Woman #2: What? Gross! Is that bacon? Is there really bacon in there?
Woman #1: Looks like it.
Cashier: I haven't personally tried it, but everyone who has says it's really good.
Woman #1: I bet it is!
Woman #2: No way. I mean... that's just too weird. Bacon? In chocolate? That's almost like bisexuality: I want to try it, but, I don't.

San Francisco, California


Categories: Compare and contrast | Employees | Food | San Francisco | Sexuality | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-08-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Isn't Canadia Where TV Shows Go After Death?

Fab teenage girl with huge pink sunglasses: I fucking loved Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye! I have no fucking idea why they canceled it!
Teenage boy dressed in all black, munching cookie: Me neither. That was show was kickass.
Fab teenage girl: Probably 'cuz all the old people were like, "this show's really fucking gay." But I think that that one guy was really hot. Stupid fucking old people.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Gripes | Insults | Sexuality | TV shows | Teens | Posted 2009-08-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Leave Jay Manuel Alone, Already.

Teen boy #1: He's gay.
Teen boy #2: No, he isn't.
Teen girl: He's just orange!
Teen boy #2, laughing: "Orange" isn't a sexual orientation.
Teen boy #1, laughing so hard he's crying: I was just thinking that.
Teen boy #2: Hes like, an Oompa-Loompa. He's always so mean 'cause he's tall, they rejected him because he was different.

McDonald's
New York City, New York


Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Gossip | McDonald's | New York | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-08-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's for Him to Decide

New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!

Department Store
Melbourne
Australia


Categories: Australia | Beauty | Clothes | Clothing | Dads | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Sexuality | Stores | Posted 2009-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Thought the Baby Was Just a Really Small Twink

Guy: Are they gay?
Friend: Yes, they're holding hands and wearing the same clothing.
(15 seconds later)
Guy
: Are they gay?

Girl: That's a family.

Hillcrest, California


Categories: California | Clothes | Clothing | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Guys | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2009-08-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Has No One Done the Reading?

Professor: Who creates design?
Student: Women?
Professor: Men! Men! Gay men!

SUNY
Purchase, New York


Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld


Categories: Colleges & Universities | Fashion | New York | Questions | Sexuality | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's True Of Any Cop, Though.

Boy: I should be a rent-a-cop.
Girl #1, laughing: You'd be the least believable rent-a-cop ever.
Girl #2: Yeah, they might mistake you for a gay stripper.

Tempe, Arizona


Categories: Arizona | Compare and contrast | Crimes | Girls | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2009-08-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's All the Hair in Their Ears.

Husband, reading aloud from newspaper: Honey, did you know that women use an average of 30,000 words a day, while men only use 15,000?
Wife: That's probably because we have repeat everything to men.
Husband: What?

Australia

Overheard by: Mikyla

I Smell the Plot Of a Lesbian Road-Trip Movie

Woman to another: But don't worry... I won't give up the boobie, and you can drive.

Bus
Chester, Pennsylvania


Categories: Bus | Pennsylvania | Rack | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2009-08-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!

Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz festival
Belgium


Categories: Beauty | Belgium | Compare and contrast | Employees | Friends | Questions | Sexuality | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-08-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And I Already Squeal Like a Girl, So...

Band geek, eating lunch, to friends: I've come to the realization that if I were a woman, I'd have amazing breasts.

Rutgers University
Camden, New Jersey


Overheard by: One time at band camp...


Categories: Colleges & Universities | Friends | Idiots | New Jersey | Rack | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2009-08-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Drag Queens Are Treated Like Livestock in Canadia

Four-year-old boy, dancing happily down sidewalk: I'm like a princess! I'm like Cinderella!
Mother: Except you stink. So more like stinkerella.

Calgary
Canadia

Just Because Of the Short-Shorts and Rollerskates?

Curious brunette: Hey, is that casting agent friend of yours gay?
Exasperated brunette: No! That's the guy I sleep with sometimes. Why does everyone keep asking me that?

Rosepepper Cantina
Nashville, Tennessee


Overheard by: Amy Rose


Categories: Bimbettes | Questions | Restaurants | Sex | Sexuality | Tennessee | Posted 2009-07-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She's Broken a Lot Of Gay Hearts

Asian teenage girl, about sister who just left: She's so cute. She looks like a guy.

Sporting Carnival
Australia


Overheard by: Ouch


Categories: Asians | Australia | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-07-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sigh. For the Last Time, I Could Never Date a Top.

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean "friend that's a girl." I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida


Overheard by: Isn't he a little young...?


Categories: Florida | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2009-07-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Or at Least Make Out in It.

Teenage girl being pushed in shopping trolley, singing loudly: Nineteen! You're only nineteen, for god's sake, oh, you don't need a boyfriend!
Teenage boy pushing girl, monotone: Everybody is looking at you. They think you're a lesbian.
Teenage girl: I feel like such a rebel! But we should return this trolley, like dutiful citizens.

Geelong
Victoria
Australia

...Which Is Totally a Girl

Guy #1: Dude, have you seen this picture?
Guy #2: Nah, dude. Show it to me.
(guy #1 shows guy #2 picture of naked girl in a scenic background)
Guy #2
: Dude, do you think it's gay that I think the scenery is the prettiest thing in this picture?

Guy #3, walking by: No, you just want to fuck the planet.

Carmel, Indiana


Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Guys | Indiana | Questions | Sex | Sexuality | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-07-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Is It the Weekend Already?

Teen guy: Hey, Louise, do you wanna know why David broke up with you?
Teen girl: Because he was cheating on me...
Teen guy: No. Well, I shouldn't really say this, but David is gay.
Teen girl, surprised: Again?

Bus
Stockholm
Sweden


Categories: Bus | Gossip | Infidelity | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Sweden | Teens | Posted 2009-07-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ummmm....

Teenage girl: Blowjobs are lesbian sex.

Red Bank, New Jersey


Categories: BJs | New Jersey | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-07-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Lonely Old People Will Answer to Anything

Boy, to teenage girl: Hi, Lisa.
Old man, entering: Hi.

Cafe
Eugene, Oregon


Categories: Names | Old folks | Oregon | Sexuality | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Especially Since It Was Wii Sex

Guy #1: So are you seeing that girl now or what?
Guy #2: No, man, she has a boyfriend.
Guy #1: But didn't you sleep with her last weekend?
Guy #2: Dude, I slept with you last night. It doesn't mean anything.

Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia


Overheard by: Steph


Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | Questions | Relationships | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2009-07-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Paul Begins His Search for a Gardener.

Girl, surprised: A naked man??
Guy, after introspective pause: No...I prefer them in tights.

St. Paul, Minnesota