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I Need Some Whacking Material for Later
50-something guy #1: My new girlfriend is twenty years younger than me.
50-something guy #2: You going to marry her?
50-something guy #1: No. I had that talk with her at the very beginning.
50-something guy #2: You got any nude photos of her on your phone?
Health Club Locker Room
Shawnee Mission, Kansas
Categories: Age and ageing | Assholes | Guys | Kansas | Porn | Relationships | Restroom | Posted 2010-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Look at Dee Snider Will Tell You How Right You Are.
Girl #1: Twisted Sister? Ew! Gross!
Girl #2: What is that? I've never heard of it, it is gross?
Girl #1: I don't know either, I just watched a ton of porn this morning so I keep thinking of things in the dirtiest way possible. Ewww.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Did the Pizza Guy Even Apologize for Walking in on You in the Shower?
Chick #1: I was like, "I thought that shit only happened in porn!"
Chick #2: Or movies.
Chick #1: Oh. Yeah.
Cafe
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Porn | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ad: He's Back, and This Time It's Very Personal
Girl on phone: When you get to the game room, don't sit next to Jesus, he's watching porn.
Georgetown, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate
Categories: Delaware | Girls | Jesus | On the phone | Porn | Posted 2010-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I Was Thinking Of a Nice Outing to Pottery Barn.
Girl: Booze!
Masculine gay dude: Fuck, yeah. I just finally finished my antibiotics. I'm gonna go fall off a stripper stage into some tits or somethin'.
Straight friend: Uhhh.
Bangkok
Thailand
Ricky Has Yet to Encounter Tentacle Porn
Girl to boy: Yeah, well, I watched Hentai once. I think Japanese people have mammal fetishes because all the girls had four ears, and there seemed to be furry rodents latched onto their vulvae.
Hammondsport, New York
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one's about Matt*--my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Family ties | Foreigners | Hippies | Massachusetts | Parenting | Porn | Posted 2009-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So We're Giving Him My Anal Fisting Videos and Hoping He Can Extrapolate
Middle-aged man: So the other day my friend asked me to borrow some porn tapes. He said he needed to teach his son about the birds and the bees.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: the wirled
Categories: Birds | Education | Guys | Insects | Kids | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Parenting | Porn | Posted 2009-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You're the One Who Keeps Calling the Social Worker, Billy.
Mother to screaming child: Look, if it were up to me, you could watch all the porn you want.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
For Some Reason, It Rarely Happens the Other Way Around
College girl, surprised: You went on a blind date last night?
College boy: Yeah, she was nice. She's gonna be a nurse.
Sketchy friend: Dude, that's awesome! Y'know, nurses make the best porn stars.
Coffeeshop
Burlington, Vermont
Categories: Beauty | Frat boy types | Jobs & Careers | Porn | Questions | Relationships | Sorority types | Vermont | Posted 2009-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have Nude Pictures in Catalogs.
Man: She said that? She has nude pictures on the internet! How can you compare me to her?
Emergency Room
Westchester, New York
They Get Homesick
Emphatic girl: Babies can't watch porn!
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Kids | Massachusetts | Porn | Posted 2009-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
JC Penney Bra Catalogs, on the Other Hand...
Senior boy: I have no capacity for porn!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I doubt that
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Porn | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Our Family, We Get Our Pornography from the Internet
Boy, holding bodice-ripper romance novel: Dad, is this a book for fifth-graders?
Distracted father: No. Put it back.
Boy: What is it?
Distracted father: Hardcore pornography. Put it back.
Fairwood, Washington
Overheard by: he was so hopeful
Traditional Women Expect a High Return on Their Investment
20-something artist: She's pretty puritanical for someone who gets naked for money.
Portland, Oregon
Who Knew That Would Ever Turn Out to Be a Bad Idea?
Woman #1: Do you want to become a judge?
Woman #2: No way!
Woman #1: Why not?
Woman #2: I have too many naked photos on the internet out there of me!
Coffee Shop
Salt Lake City
Overheard by: Snazzy
Although McDonald's Menu Is More Like Scat Porn
Cute, hungry 20-something: I love menus, they're like porn.
SEPTA Bus
Philadelhia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
Categories: Bus | Compare and contrast | Food | Idiots | Pennsylvania | Porn | Posted 2009-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I Allowed the Holy Spirit Into My Life.
Disgruntled freshman girl #1: Ugh, I hate that guy. He is like, you know, so... Ugh!
Disgruntled freshman girl #2: I know, right?
Rude sophomore guy, interrupting: Oh, me and him? We're like porn buddies!
(awkward silence from girls)
Rude sophomore guy: What? That was like, before.
Cainta
Rizal
Philippines
Overheard by: happened to be eating lunch
Especially If You Were Into Your Identical Daughter Cells
Microbiology lecturer: If you were a bacteria, this would be a highly pornographic image.
Melbourne University
Australia
Categories: Australia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Porn | Science | Posted 2009-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Difference Between the South and the North: Encapsulated
Female #1, seeing adult bookstore: well, that doesn't look like a porn store. It looks classy...like an ammo shop.
Female #2: Like an ammo shop? Classy like an ammo shop?
Egan, Louisiana
Google: Search and Ye Shall Find
Dude: I don't even know where to find porn!
Random guy walking past: Yeah, you do.
Washtenaw Community College
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Michigan | Porn | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2009-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, Sharper Image!
Loud girl: And my mother said to me, "Well, I guess you're an adult now, since you have adult sex." And I was like, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" and she was like, "I opened your cupboard." and I was thinking, "Oh shit!" because I've got a lot of shit in there. I've got porn, I've got a vibrator, a cock ring. I've got things she doesn't even know what to call them!
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Categories: Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Default | Family ties | Girls | Pennsylvania | Porn | Questions | Sex | Toys | Posted 2009-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When I Can Find It on My Boyfriend's Computer for Free
Girl eating pasta: I can't pay 30 pounds for gay porn!
London
England
Just Like the Queen Of England Has.
20-something #1: Let's get into publishing.
20-something #2: Only if it's porn.
20-something #1: Well, of course.
20-something #2: For women. Graphic pornography for women.
20-something #1: I think they already have that.
20-something #2: Giant diamond encrusted wangs, artfully displayed on wedgewood.
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Coworkers | Default | Fashion | Gender issues | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Porn | Posted 2009-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, the Boy Never Gets the Girl?
Professor (about Hamlet): So how is this like Lesbian porn?
Illinois Wesleyan University
Then We Watched Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Her: Clown porn, clown porn, clown porn. You put that in my head.
Him: How did I put that in your head?
Her: You told me about it.
Him: No, I told you about midget porn.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: b! x.
Categories: Body parts | Default | Girls | Guys | Overheard in PDX | Porn | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And This....Surprises You?
Woman waiting for coffee: You know my sister is a Playboy model?
Friend: (blank stare)
Woman waiting for coffee: Yeah! She sends me the pictures. I mean, she's beautiful, but I don't wanna see that. And my brother, he looks at those!
Friend: (blank stare)
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: next in line.
Categories: Default | Family ties | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Porn | Women | Posted 2009-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm All About Buster Brown Collars
Gay professor: Yeah, so running through these questions should go a little more smoothly this time around. I looked around for what was causing it to go so slow last time, and I realized that there are disadvantages to letting your 14-year-old take your laptop to Tahoe for the weekend. I mean, really--how much lesbian porn can three teenage boys download? (class laughs) So, uh. If anything pops up, you know who to blame. I mean, it certainly isn't my secret fetish.
San Francisco State University, California
Overheard by: It isn't mine, either.
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Default | Gays | Porn | Questions | Sexuality | Teachers | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Why I'm Taking This Class
Cute, innocent-looking college girl on cell: And, well, I guess I just don't think I know enough about porn to make a well-informed decision!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Categories: Default | Feelings | Michigan | On the phone | Porn | Sorority types | Posted 2008-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Giving New Meaning to "Here Comes the Bride"
(girl is trying on a wedding gown with a huge train. Grandmother and mom are fanning the train out around her)
Grandma: Okay, we're going to be the fluffers.
Mom: Yes we are.
Nashville, Tennessee
...Was What I Loved About 2 Girls 1 Cup
Girl: It was like a porno, but with a plot!
University of Massachusetts
Overheard by: Robin
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Movies | Porn | Posted 2008-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Two Great Tastes That Taste HorribleTogether
Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can't do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It's called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck's sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I'm sorry... My english...it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks...I just grabbed it.
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: taylor
Categories: Couples | Default | Girls | Guys | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Porn | Sexuality | Teens | Words | Posted 2008-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What a Poetic Way Of Saying "Anus"!
Professor: Does this fit into his expanding and contracting magical porn circle?
Washington University
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: You can't laugh in a four person class
Musky Petals Often Considers Changing Her Name
20-something girl #1: So she's dating him and has spent the night at his place, but he's still in the middle of a divorce.
20-something girl #2: ...and she doesn't know his last name?
20-something girl #1: Yep.
20-something girl #2: And he's her boss.
20-something girl #1: Yep. I told her to google him or look at his business card.
20-something girl #2: I don't understand any of this. I've never googled myself, actually. Have you?
20-something girl #1: Yeah, you should try it! It makes you feel famous.
20-something girl #2, to herself: All that came up when I did it was porn.
Northbound Caltrain
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: A Cheek
Categories: Advice | California | Default | Girls | Internet | Names | Porn | Relationships | Train | Posted 2008-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bleaching Your Anus Could Go Either Way
Broseph to broski: Shaving your ass is a sign of homosexuality, shaving your testicles is a sign of being a porn star.
Chicago, Illinois
You Just Can't Get Good Sign-Fetish Porn Domestically
Short brunette teen girl: Haha.
Tall blonde teen girl: What?
Short brunette teen girl: I have clearly been watching too much porn cause I can actually read that sign in Spanish.
Missisauga
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: was the sign advertising a strip club?
...And Season One Little House on the Prairie
Girl #1: It's just that I feel like Amazon is judging me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I bought one gay erotica book and now it wants me to buy Japanese porn.
Starbucks
Ukiah, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Books | California | Default | Feelings | Girls | Internet | Pop culture | Porn | Sexuality | Shopping | Posted 2008-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Photo of the Kitten in the Shoe Was Oddly Arousing, Though
Drunk girl #1: That's the first men's bathroom I've ever been in that didn't have porn mags!
Drunk girl #2: Not ones that you could see!
Lincoln, Nebraska
That's What You Said During Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Random kid: Oh god! This is going to turn into a pregnancy fetish porno.
While seeing Juno
Peabody, Massachusetts
If the Tagline Isn't "Gotta Fuck Them All" Then Someon Made a Mistake
Girl: The first Pokemon movie was really sad.
Guy #1: Oh, yeah! It made me cry.
Girl: I couldn't believe when Pikachu almost died...
Guy #2: Have you guys seen Pokemon porn?
Girl: Okay, let's just stop right there.
Guy #2: No, it's crazy. You know Misty? She'll do like anything!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Death & dying | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Guys | Movies | Offers and requests | Porn | Questions | TV shows | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, It Has the Word "Vajayjay" on the Cover
Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn't know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that's Cosmo!
Barnes & Noble
Illinois
Categories: Books | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Friends | Guys | Illinois | Pop culture | Porn | Stores | Tweens | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff
Geeky girl: You know, I've still got my ex-boyfriend's mom's library card.
Goth friend: ...We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Animals | Books | Colorado | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Goths | Offers and requests | Porn | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's My Major, You Know
Loud girl on oak lawn: So, where do the midgets come into it? I want my midget porn.
University of Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: don't we all
Dooming You to Come on Time for All Eternity
Professor: When you're late, Eric* will take down your name. The first time he'll just tack a threatening note on your door. What did we decide you would do for the second tardy?
Eric: Slash their tires.
Professor: Right. And the third time we'll make pornographic images of you on Photoshop and put them on the Internet.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Internet | Porn | Students | Teachers | Threats | Time Management | Violence | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Hates the Way She Looks on Camera
College girl: I may have made the best porn movie ever, but I'm not going to show it to my mom.
Lincoln Park, Illinois
Like When the Girl Spends an Hour Building a Fuck Machine
Dude: It's like... you know when you watch geek porn and it's just uncomfortable?
Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia
I Need to Know If I Should Be Arresting You
Drunk woman: I like gay porn!
Nearby lady: Male or female?
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Drunks | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Porn | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
