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30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes... or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!
Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Teen girl on cell: Yes, well, there's excitement, plateau, orgasm... and I forget the last one.
99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Philosophy professor: He chose this example because it had sex appeal. It turned people on.
(changes PowerPoint slide to picture of bacterial flagellum)
Male student: Ohhhhh!
Professor: Please don't have an orgasm in my class.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Professor: It's hard to have an orgy without orgasms. What? It's true! What're you gonna do, play video games?
University of San Francisco
San Francisco, California
Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.
Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Chick #1: That's the best episode of SpongeBob ever.
Chick #2: I knooow!
Chick #1: It's like an orgasm!
Chick #2: No. (pause) No, it's not.
Littleton, Colorado
Goth girl on cell: His dick is huge! I came so hard I was crying! (notices several people looking at her and laughing) Do you fucking mind? This is a private conversation!
Red Line Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Teenage girl: Yeah, he just couldn't orgasm! I spent like three hours on that shit, and after about an hour I was so thirsty I wanted to say "hold up, I'm gonna go get a big gulp." (friend bursts into laughter)
Birmingham, Alabama
Teen daughter: Mom, what does an orgasm feel like?
Mom, looking at older daughter: Ask your sister, she'd probably know better than I would.
Portland, Oregon
Random girl to friend: Just because I've seen your o-face doesn't mean you're attractive.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: C.S.
Girl #1: I came really fast, apparently.
Girl #2: Wow, really?
Girl #1: Yeah. (sighs) If only we weren't talking about childbirth.
Auckland
New Zealand
Anthropology teacher: That's just like saying the point of sex is to have an orgasm. If that were the case you could do it yourself! There's no need to involve another person!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Terrance Williams
Guy on phone: Nah, nah, it's not cheating! I didn't ejaculate, so it's not cheating!
King's Cross
Australia
Overheard by: highly amused
Girl #1: What's an orgasm?
Girl #2: It's like when two people get excited during sex.
Girl #1: So, like, when they go "rawwwrr!"
Girl #2: Uh...yeah. Sure.
School Cafeteria
El Paso, Texas
Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it...I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.
overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
College girl: So how do you masturbate?
Friend: I hump my desk.
College girl: Wait...really?!
Friend: Yeah, it's great. I can go from nothing to orgasm in like, 20 seconds.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Drunk guy to friend: And it was like a mini-orgasm. I swear, it was the best pee ever.
Monash University Dorms
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Australian L
Woman #1: So, all these women are going skydiving now, because you can have an orgasm against the updraft.
Woman #2 (enthusiastically): Oh, that's great!
Olympic Sculpture Garden
Seattle, Washington
Weird Asian guy: You've never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It's a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I've heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
Dejected neighbor: Yeah, I know. I'm more suited to kill werewolves than produce orgasms.
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: j
Professor: So, do you guys think fornication is man's greatest pleasure?
First year Humanities class: [Embarrassed silence.]
Brave student: Um... I don't know about greatest... I mean, I like to eat.
Professor, slamming hands down on desk: I've been eating for 62 years, and I've never gotten an orgasm from it!
Richmond, Indiana
Girl #1: Come on! Let's go!
Girl #2, drinking her milkshake: Could you just be quiet for a minute? I'm kinda in the middle of an orgasm!
Fast food joint
Fairfax, California
Overheard by: slovett
Guy #1, to girl: Yo, if Mike and Dave lived together, how great would your orgasm be? [Girl is silent.]
Guy #2: Yeah, your leg would be drenched all the time.
Girl: I'm a girl! You can't say that to me!
Guy #1: Not with jizz! With lady juice!
Girl: Seriously! Stop!
Rutgers bus
New Jersey
Queer #1: Is that pastrami? That was the best pastrami I've ever had.
Queer #2: Did you just ejaculate confetti?
Maryland and Euclid Avenue
St. Louis, Missouri
Adorable professor, winking: See, now, it would be just like I came on Beth* and then winked at her.
Haverford College
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: not beth