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Presenting: the Difference Between Straight and Really Straight
Guy #1, wiping sweat off forehead: Dude, if we hook up with any o' these broads tonight, there's no way we could go down on them.
Guy #2, slamming rest of his drink: Well, maybe you wouldn't. Personally, I don't mind a little gravy on the roast beef.
Guy #1: Jesus, that's fuckin' sick, man! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Six Degrees Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Comebacks | Drinking & drunks | Food | Guys | Illinois | Insults | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Questions | Posted 2010-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Baby Steps, Sweetie
Girl: I made out with a five-year-old orphan today.
Boy: Well, I guess that's a little better.
High School
Florida
Categories: Florida | Girls | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Weirdness | Posted 2010-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Here's James Cameron to Explain
Cute young woman, watching tv while studying: Ew, they are kissing so deep! It's gross!
Seemingly gay guy, also studying in the table: Kay*, you don't even know what deep is.
Campinas
Brazil
So Gay Men Aren't the Target Demograpic for That?
Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good...
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: TMI
Categories: Fag hags | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Licking | Queers | San Francisco | Sex | Sexuality | Vagina | Posted 2010-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?
Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Pips
Categories: Animals | Body parts | California | Feelings | Friends | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Pee | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Back Up-- What Does "She Gave Me Her Brush" Mean?
Six-year-old boy: I French-kissed my girlfriend today!
17-year-old girl: What? French kissed? You're six!
Six-year-old boy: I still did it. She gave me her brush!
17-year-old girl: You're six! You shouldn't know what French kissing is!
Six-year-old boy: I watch Family Guy.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Mia
Categories: Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | Kids | Pennsylvania | TV shows | Posted 2010-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Their Tongues Touched, They Produced Amy Winehouse.
Girl, after kissing boy: You taste like smoke.
Boy: You taste like testicles.
Las Vegas, Navada
Overheard by: ScaredTourist
Categories: Balls | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Nevada | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And She Didn't Even Know Its Name
Guy to others: I heard she once open-mouth kissed a horse.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: walking down the hall.
Categories: Animals | Gossip | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When You Were Starting to Miss College...
Freshman girl on phone: You're not gonna get HIV from kissing some random... (pause) What? (pause) Well, does he have sores on his lips?
UCSB Dorms
California
Overheard by: KLaugh
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Maladies | On the phone | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oooh, Lick Your Lips While You Say That!
Drunk girl #1: (blows kiss to construction worker)
Drunk girl #2: You *so* just made his day!
Construction worker: Slut.
Exhibition Street
Melbourne, Australia
Categories: Australia | Construction workers | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Insults | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2009-10-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gay People Love Having Straight People Speak for Them
Tourist: So, basically, people go to Castro to stare at the gay people making out?
Passenger: Well, the gay people feel more comfortable making out there... Because people aren't staring at them...
Berkeley, California
Categories: California | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Tourists | Posted 2009-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ironically, They Were Dancing to "Walk Like an Egyptian"
Hairdresser to client in salon: I really like Egypt, you know? I feel like I have a connection to Egypt, like I was there in a past life. Like, I was watching this show on the History Channel about Egypt? Or some place? And they have three religions there? The first one was this religion where everybody kisses this wall? Mmm-mm-mm-mm. They were making out with this wall! They loved that wall. And then the next religion, god told Abraham to kill his son? What kind of crazy religion is that? And then the third religion was all these people standing up, and bending down.
Client: They were probably Muslims. They were praying towards Mecca...
Hairdresser: Uh huh. And I said to my boyfriend, "that's good exercise." I was going to watch more, but Dancing with the Stars was on.
Collingswood, New Jersey
Categories: Clients | Employees | Geography | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Murder | New Jersey | Parenting | Religion | TV shows | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or the Bomb on This Bus Will Explode!
Girl to boyfriend: Hold on, sweetie, I need to give my sister a call.
Boyfriend: No. I can't stop making out with you.
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Categories: Couples | Family ties | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | New Jersey | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Aesop Tried Peyote
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Animals | Bathing | Birds | Colleges & Universities | Food | Friends | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Mental illnesses | New York | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sadly, Also the Current Plot Of The Real World
First grade boy: I had two girlfriends but I lost one.
First grade girl: Didn't one of them kiss you?
First grade boy: Yeah, Hannah told Alexis to kiss whoever she liked more, and it was me and this other girl, and she was going to kiss her, but then she kissed me and we've been together for, like, forever.
First grade girl: Yeah.
Lakeville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: was still playing with barbies- clothed
Categories: Compare and contrast | Feelings | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | Massachusetts | Questions | Relationships | Students | Posted 2009-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Real Secret Behind Jared's Weight Loss.
Girl #1: I haven't kissed him in over a week because he has mono. But a couple days ago we went out to Subway, and then to my house to eat it and watch a movie. Well, he went home and I saw what I thought was my Subway cup, so I took a big swig out of it.
Girl #2: Oh, no!
Girl #1: Yeah, and I said "screw it!" and I just decided to make out with him, since I missed it so much. But I've been feeling a little crappy lately.
Girl #2: (stares)
Girl #1, thoughtfully: I hope I'm not getting sick. (pause) Oh, this shirt is cute!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Dazeys
With a Cardboard Cut-Out Of Him, Anyway
Girl: So all these old football guys showed up...and long story short, she ended up making out. With Terry Bradshaw.
Joe's Place
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: devon
Categories: About celebrities | Bars & Clubs | Girls | Gossip | Iowa | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2009-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like the Dirty Little Republican You Are
(attractive couple are making out against a car. The girl's phone goes off.).
Girl: Hello? Hey, mom. No, I'm still at school. Rehearsal's going to be late today. Yeah, I'll call you. Bye!
Guy: I love when you lie.
Houston, Texas
Categories: Couples | Default | Education | Family ties | Girls | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Lies | Texas | Posted 2009-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Do I Win the White-Trash Contest, or What?
Girl: Yeah...after he got out of prison he moved back in with us. He was always flirting with me and once tried to make out with me.
Guy: Ummmmmm, did you tell your mom?
Girl: No, I didn't mind, I thought he was cute.
Jeffersonville, Indiana
Categories: Default | Family ties | Girls | Guys | Indiana | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Questions | Posted 2009-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: He Came, I Didn't
Girl to friend: He said that I was his new BFF. "Best fuck forever"! I said that was sweet, and gave him a little kiss.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: TrixChix
Categories: California | Compliments | Default | Feelings | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Sex | Words | Posted 2008-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Lights Are on
Young single woman talking about her date with an older man: I was like, "Don't kiss me yet, you're an old man!"
San Rafael, California
Categories: Age and ageing | California | Default | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Offers and requests | Women | Posted 2008-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet the Only Guy in Kansas Secure Enough to Say He Doesn't Like Pussy
Drunk girl, walking over and planting big kiss on guy's forehead: I kissed you like I kiss my cat!
Guy: I don't like cats.
Emporia, Kansas
Overheard by: Very Disturbed
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Default | Drunks | Feelings | Girls | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kansas | Posted 2008-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Dad?
Loud 20-something girl on cell: What do you mean you made out with my uncle?!
Spokane, Washington
Categories: Default | Family ties | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Questions | Washington | Posted 2008-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Other Hand, If I Don't Make Out with Him, the Terrorists Win
Roommate: I am afraid that if I make out with him, he'll think that I'm an Iraqi.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Possibly...
Categories: Default | Fears | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Tennessee | Posted 2008-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But, in the End, He Let Us Both Graduate
Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: BJs | Compare and contrast | Default | Georgia | Girls | Hipsters | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Lost Her Entire Purse, and They Were Married That Night
Woman #1: We went to a club together one time and they were still dating, and he kept trying to kiss me. Well, I refused to. But then my cell phone got stolen and I was mad, so we made out. A lot.
Woman #2: You made out with him because your phone got stolen?
Woman #1: Yeah, basically. I was pissed and trying to have a good night, and he's very attractive. So I was like, "let's go!"
Woman #2: I think you're my hero.
Woman #1: I'm supposed to go to a concert with him next week.
Woman #2: Well, don't lose your wallet, because then you'll have to do him.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
Categories: Advice | Crimes | Default | Feelings | Infidelity | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | North Carolina | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are You Sure It's Not Just a Rash from the Sequins and Feathers?
Guy: Did you see his hickie? It's huge!
Girl: He has a hickie? But I thought he was gay!
Avenue of the Stars
Century City, California
Categories: California | Default | Girls | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2008-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's True! I Read It on a Truckstop Bathroom Wall!
Teen guy #1: Who comes to a concert to make out?
Teen guy #2: Uh, anyone with a significant other.
Teen guy #1: If a girl will make out with you at a concert, then she's down for anything. Like she'd totally take it up the butt.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: not so much
Categories: Backdoor | California | Default | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Music | Questions | Relationships | Teens | Posted 2008-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Bet You Say That to All the Girls
(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but...
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh... (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
Categories: Clothes | Compliments | Creepsters | Default | Etiquette | Hipsters | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kink | Ohio | Strangers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eddie Found Dad's Stash of Bullwinkle Porn
Very serious little boy: I don't think a moose and a human should kiss.
Library
Chicago Suburbs, Illinois
...Shaped Like a Giant Martini Glass!
Six-year-old #1: Did you know that we've kissed before and we're not even family?
Six-year-old #2: Yeah, in a hot tub!
Casselman
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Default | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | Memory lane | Questions | Posted 2008-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grandma Was a Master of Disguise
20-something girl to friends: And I was like, he was my first ugly boyfriend and my first kiss, and I was like "grandma!"
Maxwell's
Cedarburg, Wisconsin
Overheard by: and i was like, what?!
Categories: Default | Family ties | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Memory lane | Relationships | Weirdness | Wisconsin | Posted 2008-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
See --Look at Her Go to Town on That Man's Shoe
Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She'll kiss worse things in her life.
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Family ties | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | Kids | Maine | Siblings | Stores | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa
College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait... No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy's the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they're both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam's the one with the small dick.
Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Gossip | Iowa | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Penis | Sexuality | Students | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Whacked His Weed
Hot chick on cell: He kissed me teeth-first. It was like kissing a lawn mower.
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | Delaware | Gripes | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2008-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Coquetry Piques My Curiosity
Dude: I want to fucking make out with you.
Chick: Yeah?
Dude: Yeah, maybe I will later.
Chick: Maybe.
Troy, New York
Overheard by: Andrew
Categories: K-I-S-S-I-N-G | New York | Strangers | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Later It Did the Breast Stroke
Chick #1: Hey, it's Todd*!
Chick #2: Oh, he's a swimmer, right?
Chick #1: Yeah, his tongue swam in my mouth!
Olivet College
Olivet, Michigan
Categories: Chicks | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Michigan | Posted 2007-10-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Got Locked Together Like Stags
Girl #1: Well, I guess that answers the question about how vampires make out.
Girl #2: Yup... And it was hot!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Chicks | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Should Have Gotten It with Extra Butter
Girl #1: I dare you to make out with that piece of popcorn. [Friend makes out with popcorn.]
Girl #2: I make out with my mirror all the time.
Girl #1: Oh, honey, that's just sad.
Makeout girl: My lips feel dry...
Herndon Festival
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Categories: Chicks | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Virginia | Posted 2007-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Preferably Not Even by You
Girl straddling guy on student lounge sofa: I want to suck your face off.
Guy: I'm just trying to get laid.
Boston University Central
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Vomiting in mouth
Categories: Couples | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Massachusetts | Sex | Posted 2007-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Irresistible; That Makes It His Fault
Chick #1: Oh my god, I was so drunk last night! Do you think Lisa will get mad that I made out with her boyfriend?
Chick #2: Yes.
Chick #1: Well, it wasn't really my fault.
Chick #2: Yes, it was. You basically went up to him, batted your eyelashes, and started making out.
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: California | Hoochies | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2007-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jay and Silent Bob Finally Accept It
Woman, about two men hugging: Okay, good. Now I want to see you make out. For two minutes. In slow motion.
Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York
Overheard by: conrad jones
Categories: Creepsters | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | New York | Posted 2007-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Was Making Out with Steve!
Guy #1: Dude, she was holding my hand and making out with Michelle at the same time.
Guy #2: Nice.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Overheard at Loyola | Posted 2007-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think Deep Down I Knew I Would Vomit on Him
Girl: This guy was really rude and annoying, so I decided to make out with him... I was really drunk and somehow that made sense.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Overheard at Loyola | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Mean, That's Too Graphic for My Wedding Vows?
Loud girl on cell: I dunno... I mean, it takes a lot for someone to make out with you after you've been puking.
Outside Goldwin Smith Hall
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
