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Those Are the Choices?
Blue collar guy on lunch break: Does she use a strap-on or does she have something that pops out like a turtle head?
Northwestern Law School
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: What a Horrible Visual
Getting a Piece Of Tail Is Always a Problem in Ohio
Woman to man: She fucked the lobster?
Cincinnati, Ohio
The BP Oil Spill? Really?
Teen girl: But let's face it: if you walk in to a porn shop handcuffed, people are going to assume that you had something to do with it.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
I Shouldn't Have Skipped the Preliminaries
Girl #1: It is so hard getting laid living with my brother. I am a fucking loud girl when it's going on. For me to be quiet has been hard as hell.
Girl #2: Maybe get him to gag you, you'll like it and you will be quiet, that is what I found myself getting into.
Girl #1: I don't know, maybe I will try it, but I can't be doing that with a guy I meet on the first night.
Girl #3: It would be like anything else: try it a few times, if you don't like it find something else.
Girl #1: Last time I did that I tried anal, and that did not end well.
Girls #2 and #3: (laugh hard)
Girl #2: I remember that disaster.
Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Backdoor | Bars & Clubs | Family ties | Girls | Kink | Pennsylvania | Sex | Posted 2010-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Being the Midwest Corn Princess Is Not Without Its Benefits
Hot brunette to guy friend: I just really want to get it, you know, so I can fuck it in its ear.
Guy: Ugh, me too!
Liberty State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Julia
Categories: Bimbettes | Body parts | Friends | Guys | Kink | New Jersey | Wishes | Posted 2010-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gosh, I Love the Senator's Parties.
Guy #1: I think I have the handcuffs, but I'll call you if I don't.
Guy #2: Yeah, yeah, and I've got the fairy wings, for sure.
High School
Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: Hope the where talking about drama class
Categories: Canadia | Guys | Kink | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ricky Has Yet to Encounter Tentacle Porn
Girl to boy: Yeah, well, I watched Hentai once. I think Japanese people have mammal fetishes because all the girls had four ears, and there seemed to be furry rodents latched onto their vulvae.
Hammondsport, New York
Many Start; Few Are Able to Finish
Guy to group of friends: I don't think I could ever do anything like that.
Girl: Oh, is this about the circle jerk?
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Friends | Guys | Kink | Masturbation | Questions | Posted 2009-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Loved the Dirges.
Guy in leather to another: I remember when I was a slave...
Dore Alley
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Out taking photos
Categories: Guys | Kink | Memory lane | San Francisco | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes, Yes and Yes
Professor: What do you think my fantasy is?
Student: Armpit sex... in a park. No, wait. Menage a trois. All-male in a... ballroom?
Godfrey, Illinois
Sometimes We Find It Makes More Sense to Read Your Quote Submissions While Drunk
High-school girl #1: Caveman.
High-school girl #2: Arm-sex!
High-school girl #1: That never gets old.
High-school girl #2: Yeah!
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: SpamiKami
Sometimes They Play Backup with Paperclip Castanets
Clarinet girl: I have, like, this fetish with office supplies, especially the electric stapler.
Friend: Oh my god! What?
Clarinet girl: Yeah, sometimes my roommate and I dance with it. And the boys above us creep at our window.
Friend: Oh... interesting.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Glad I don't live near them... And glad I wasn't stuck with either of them as a roommate.
An Inflatable Friend
Old guy to friend: He got a new girl who works in the sex industry... and you know his fantasy has always been two women. I told him it'd never happen, but apparently it did. His girl has a friend who was willing to play along...
Holland, Michigan
Categories: Friends | Jobs & Careers | Kink | Michigan | Old folks | Relationships | Posted 2009-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Damsel in Distress Can Count on a Guy Peeing on Her
Teen girl #1: I wish a jellyfish would sting me so some handsome guy would run along the beach, whip out his dick and pee on me.
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: To neutralize the sting, dumbass.
Teen girl #2: I know that. But still: what?
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
When a Couple's Goals Conflict
Flamboyant gay guy #1, whispering discretely: I'm going to do you so hard when we get home.
Flamboyant gay guy #2, not whispering: I'm going to shit in your mouth.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: MB
The One in Your Office Is for You to Explain
Guy in hallway on cell, in Arabic: Next time, tell her it was my riding crop in your bedroom.
Halifax
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Guys | Kink | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Could Always Force You to Sit through The Bucket List Again
Pretty blonde snuggling with Asian boyfriend: Honey, I'm sorry I was so crazy earlier.
Asian boyfriend: It's okay, sweetie, but I am going to have to punish you when we get home.
Pretty blonde, smiling: A spanking?
Asian boyfriend, kissing her forehead: Whatever you want, sweetie.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Martha Stewart: "It's a Good Thing."
Dominatrix: The best s&m tool of all time is the Williams Sonoma Spoontula.
Good Vibrations
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Compare and contrast | Kink | San Francisco | Shopping | Women | Posted 2009-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay, Speak to Me Like I'm From Kentucky
Guy #1: What's a "ball gag"?
Guy #2: Oh, come on! Leather daddies and ball gags are always synonymous.
Louisville, Kentucky
Seems Unfair to Blame Bill Cosby
20-something chick on cell: How do five-year-olds even know about jello enemas?
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Pookins
Categories: Age and ageing | California | Default | Girls | Kids | Kink | On the phone | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well What the Hell Kind of Sociology Tutor Are You, Anyway?
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard of swinging? (pause) Bestiality?
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Us
Only Because They Found the Kiddie Pool Filled with It
Girl to boyfriend: Why'd you go and tell all the guys on the fifth floor that I have some crazy fetish with lubricating foods?
Guy: I didn't say anything!
Girl: Well, they were talking about the Nutella.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laura G.
Some Gay Marriage Opponents' "Slippery Slope" Arguments Are Tenuous at Best
Really tall hippie to really short girl in overalls: If that's what you think, then why can't I rape dead people?
El Campesino
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Louise H
Categories: Default | Guys | Hippies | Kink | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Questions | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That
Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job...on a tractor.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Categories: BJs | Chicks | Default | Kink | Massachusetts | Memory lane | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Middle-Aged Women Try to Squeeze Into It
(walking past Victoria's Secret PINK)
Goth #1: Dude, that place sells, like, sexy lingerie for 14-year-olds.
Goth #2: Awesome, dude!
Old Orchard Mall
Skokie, Illinois
They Were Naked Already
Man in line for character photos: Crap, I just took a picture of someone else's kids, I'm not a pedophile, don't start thinking that!
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
I'll Bet You Say That to All the Girls
(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but...
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh... (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
Categories: Clothes | Compliments | Creepsters | Default | Etiquette | Hipsters | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kink | Ohio | Strangers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Doesn't Mean I'll Go Out with You
Dude: Just because you masturbate to llama/turtle porn...
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Kink | Masturbation | New York | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eddie Found Dad's Stash of Bullwinkle Porn
Very serious little boy: I don't think a moose and a human should kiss.
Library
Chicago Suburbs, Illinois
Like Putting Mayo on French Fries
Jock on cell: I bet he's a lame fuck. He wouldn't do any of that weird stuff you like.
Barton Springs Pool
Austin, Texas
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Insults | Jocks | Kink | On the phone | Texas | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If I Ever Figure Out Who He Is
Woman with four kids in front of a bondage window display: See that? That's what I want to do to your dad, get him all tied up and just whip the shit out of him!
The Crypt
Denver, Colorado
If You Can Do That, What's Your Incentive to Leave the House?
Chick: No, Spencer, you don't have to lick your penis to let everyone know that you're here!
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Drunk guy in apartment hallway
Mary Lou Gets Another Merit Badge
Chick #1: No sex, just rimming.
Chick #2: Great!
Denver, Colorado
Toasting with Really Large Steins of Beer?
Lesbian to girlfriend: ... That was back when I was dating this pharmacist and my sister-in-law decided to start this rumor that both of us were into this thing... [makes subtle fisting motion].
Elevator, Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
... And/Or If You Live in Connecticut
Professor: ... But then he said that maybe drag isn't a great idea before you're tenured.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Jobs & Careers | Kink | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It's Not Like Anything Can Compare to Your Grandma's
Irish rugby fan, to crowd of others: ... So I said to him, 'It's just like eating out your sister's pussy -- tastes just as good, but it's not quite right.'
Metro
Paris
France
Overheard by: kitkat ...Scarred for Life
Categories: Creepsters | Family ties | France | Gripes | Kink | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Do Almost Anything for Dick
Teen girl: Hmmm. Nixon. I'd strip for Richard Nixon.
High school football game
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: At least our children know their American history.
Just to Dip My Celery Stalk in Her Bloody Mary
Drunk guy: Man, that girl was so hot, I'd eat her period!
Marina Del Rey, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Categories: California | Drunks | Kink | Licking | Posted 2008-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, That Was Just a Freak Picnicking Accident
Black chick: I'm sorry -- I don't have relations with inanimate objects!
Black guy: A rock is not inanimate...
Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Iniego Strangelove
Categories: Black people | Florida | Kink | Posted 2007-12-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"You're the Worst Math Tutor Ever," I Said.
Marine #1: So, how was it?
Marine #2: Crazy. She wanted me to take a shit in her pussy. That's fucking weird, man.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Soundbite Lover
Categories: California | Kink | Military | Poop | Vagina | Posted 2007-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fucking Puritans
Confused guy on cell: What I don't get is, what part of the country are there people like this? I mean, I draw the line at spitting in someone's asshole!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: whylime
Categories: Kink | North Carolina | On the phone | Posted 2007-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Good to Have Plans
Drunk girl: I want to find a really kinky man tonight and shit on his chest.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Drunks | Kink | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Poop | Posted 2007-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um... During?
Hot girl: I haven't had sex in so long.
Cute friend, nodding: Mmmm.
Hot girl: Nobody pays attention to me...
Cute friend: It's 'cause you only have boyfriends.
Hot girl: Yeah... And... [Whispers] I kinda like pooping.
Tampa, Florida
Categories: Bimbettes | Florida | Gender issues | Kink | Poop | Sex | Time Management | Posted 2007-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Toothpick in My Buttcrack" Zooms to the Top of the Billboard Hot 100
Sister: Daniel, stop!
Brother: What is he doing?
Sister: He shoved a toothpick in my buttcrack... I hope I don't get a splinter!
Shout-out: www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hm
Categories: Kink | Overheard in Inchtown | Siblings | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Okay -- I'll Try Anything Once
Customer to clerk: Maybe my idea of sex is sticking a drill in your head.
Visible Voice Books
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: phoebe
Categories: Creepsters | Kink | Ohio | Posted 2007-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Course!
Teen #1: Dude, gross!
Teen #2: Come on, man! Don't act like that, you've wondered if it was worth it having your asshole licked during sex, too!
Teen #1: Yeah, but not by a fat Asian chick!
Stranger: Was it worth it?
Modern Skate and Surf
Royal Oak, Michigan
Well, We've Revised the Script and Now It's Hamsters
Girl: You know -- that thing where you have a fetish for albinos...?
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: Kink | Massachusetts | Students | Posted 2007-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Perhaps It's Time to Repair the Hole in Our Shared Wall
Girl: So, felching is when I rim you, right?
Guy: Something like that.
Girl: Is it like a frumpie? I think I'm more comfortable getting fucked in the ass by a girl than a guy. I mean, it's like the oral thing -- I'd rather lick a pussy while you fuck me than suck a dick.
Guy: Alright.
Girl: I can't believe your neighbor knocked on your door to shut us up! That was too funny.
Guy: She's British. She doesn't really understand rough sex, just tea and finding her husband in her thongs.
Hop's Grill and Bar
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: just trying to eat dinner without hearing the word 'frumpie'
Categories: Creepsters | Florida | Kink | Restaurants | Posted 2007-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Was It Your Turn to Take the Roofies?
Dude to another: Remember that gang bang we had last night?
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Creepsters | Kink | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Questions | Posted 2007-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For You, No. But Me?
Chick: So, first of all, I'm allergic to mango skin. So sticking one up my vagina just wouldn't work.
Shout-out: greenoverheard.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Kink | So College | Vagina | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Now Extinct
Woman: I can't believe my friend pterodactyled me yesterday.
Stumptown Coffee House
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jose
Categories: Chicks | Kink | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
