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...Oh Wait, That's Just My Blackberry.
Girlfriend to boyfriend who is trying hard not to look at a hot girl dancing sexily: Don't worry baby, I'm getting the erection for you.
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Beauty | Couples | Erections | New York | Relationships | Posted 2011-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And I'm Usually Into 20-Something Honduran Men...
Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, "how was it?" He was like, "oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on." And I was like, "what?" He said "yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman."
Mississippi College School of Law
Categories: Age and ageing | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Erections | Health & Hygiene | Mississippi | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Best. Quote Location. Ever.
Male roommate to another: Don't jump on me. I have a boner.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Erections | Friends | New Jersey | Sex | Posted 2010-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really More Of an Epcot Activity
Child eating skeleton fruit snacks: Mommy, look! I'm eating a boner!
Disney World
Florida
Not the Worst Pick-Up Line We've Ever Heard...
Guy: If I bought a handgun I would name it "Lady Boner."
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
For the Same Reason the Tampon Ads Spare Us the Gory Details
Older woman, watching Viagra tv commercial: Why don't they ever show the guy from the waist down with a big ol' boner?
Airport
Atlanta, Georgia
Um, Congratulations?
20-something guy: Dude, I have been waiting four to five years for this boner.
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Neme
Categories: Erections | Guys | Massachusetts | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not Even a Semi? You Disappoint Me.
Professor: Here's a good thing to compare to the turgor pressure in a plant cell: have any of you seen an erection?
University of Illinois at Chicago
Overheard by: suddenly paying attention
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Erections | Illinois | Questions | Science | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Even Worse in Chicago.
8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So...um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind...
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: nice thought...
Long Story Short, My Vag Now Has an SPF Of 45
20-something woman to friends: He was putting sunscreen on his dick and got a boner!
Plutos Restaurant
Palo Alto, California
Categories: California | Default | Erections | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Penis | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mostly Because My Mouth Is Full of Flaccid Flesh
Guy to friend: What you should've said was, "Ya know, I don't laugh at you when you can't get your dick hard!"
Decatur, Georgia
The Thin Line Between Wine Appreciation and Drunken Debauchery
Professor to class (during tasting session): Anybody getting any wood on this one?
Wine Appreciation 101
University of Houston, Texas
Have I Got a Girl for You
Male student: I just... can't control my erections.
Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Erections | Gripes | Guys | Students | Washington | Posted 2008-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Is the Title of My Coffeehouse Bongo Piece
Guy: My life is one giant erection.
Attleboro, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Erections | Guys | Massachusetts | Words | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, I Gotta Get My Orgasm Somewhere, Right?
Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn't get it up, so we just watched Schindler's List instead.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Erections | Girls | Leisure | Movies | On the phone | Words | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why She Refuses to Play Musical Chairs
Girl #1: Isn't lap dancing anal sex?
Girl #2: Uhh, excuse me?
Girl #1: Well, if a girl sits on a guy's lap and he gets an erection, it would go [points up] up the ass, right?
High School
Australia
Overheard by: NinjaPirates
Categories: Ass | Australia | Backdoor | Compare and contrast | Dancing | Erections | Girls | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Viagra Is So Popular
Woman: Wood is like money to old people.
Maryland Farms
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: FACT.
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Erections | Money | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Following Them to Their Logical Conclusion
Discouraged guy to pal: I can't stop having erections!
St-Jean Street
Old Quebec City
Canadia
Overheard by: My mom u-turned on the sidewalk and started running after him!
I Don't Know How Much Longer I Can Conceal It behind My Napkin
Guy to hot date: I have a hard-on. We should get this to go.
Buffalo Grill
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: I should get mine to go, too
