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Some of Which Also Wound Up on Her Thigh
Frat boy #1: ... And it just came out on her thigh. He didn't even get it in. Just wound up on her thigh.
Frat boy #2, mumbling: Dude! I hate when that happens.
Frat boy #1: What?!
Frat boy #2: I said I ate some chicken.
University of Alabama, Alabama
Overheard by: CB
Categories: Alabama | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Cum | Feelings | Food | Frat boy types | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Want the Human Race to Pack This Planet Like a Sausage
English professor: Just think of all the eggs that are wasted every time a woman doesn't get pregnant... That's what I do.
Montevallo, Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Cum | Default | Education | Euphemisms | Pregnancy | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And in a Jar in the Office Fridge
Large black dude on cell: What?!... Okay... His sperm is alive and well and kicking.
BART
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Nate
Categories: Black people | Cum | Guys | On the phone | Train | Words | Posted 2008-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Are These Khakis on Sale?
Retail lady: He fucked me really hard last night. When I woke up all this liquid came out.
Banana Republic
Orange County, California
Then What's Sap?
Girl: Mister, what's that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That's crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What's pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.]
[Whole class laughs.]
High School
Austin, Texas
And That's Not Even Including the Millions of Unborn Babies
Girl to friend: I swear to god, if there is semen on my shirt, I will kill everyone.
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Tom and Laura
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Cum | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Murder | Sorority types | Threats | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, You're the Experienced Pet-Sitter!
Cashier on cell phone: I mean... What's the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?
Shoprite
New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
Categories: Cum | Default | Employees | Etiquette | Gripes | New Jersey | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not If You Swallow the Sperm Like a Good Girl
Girl: I heard cum was high in protein, but it's also high in calories.
Guy: Yes... It is also high in Vitamin D, iron, serotonin. Sadly, a woman's body can hardly produce an equally useful food supplement.
Girl: ... It produces babies!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Donna, This Tastes Like You
Girl #1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz! Here, eat some so I'm not the only one.
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don't want to be the only one!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Cum | Default | Food | Girls | Gripes | Overheard at McGill | Students | Posted 2008-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Technical Term Is "Cellmates"
Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn't it be great if you were fucking someone's ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?
Biddeford, Maine
Categories: Creepsters | Cum | Maine | Sex | Violence | Posted 2008-02-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Many Girls Simply Take Refuge in Their Own Kind
Giggling coed looking at something in friend's purse: Think you have enough of those?
Friend: I know it looks bad, but I'm terribly allergic to male sperm.
Durango, Colorado
Holy Shit, I Never Thought of It That Way
Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pocket pussy. I think they're expensive, though. Unless I can find a used one online.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy something that some other dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that other guys have cum in before, haven't you? At least a pocket pussy can be put in the dishwasher. Sure beats some chick refusing to shower!
Planet Fitness
Dorchester, Massachusetts
Categories: Cum | Gym rats | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Posted 2007-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Happens to Unemployed Meteorologists
Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!
Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Cum | God | Hobos | Posted 2007-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That's How We Got Kicked Out of March of the Penguins
Nerd: She was like, 'That's so cute!' and then I came all over her face!
Baylor University
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: kindaDisgusted
Categories: Cum | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Gossip | Texas | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Email Me the Instant Replay or the Wedding's Off
Man on cell: I just need to know that he didn't cum in your mouth!
South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amelia
Categories: Cum | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Should I Just Come on It?
Man whispering into cell: But honey, I didn't fuck her! I just came on her! ... Hey, you want that Polynesian sauce they got here, right?
Chick-fil-A, Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Categories: Cum | Indiana | On the phone | Posted 2007-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, Pfizer!
60-year-old dad to son while leaving restaurant: Thanks for joining us for lunch. It was good. Now I can go home and spread my seed.
Chinese restuarant, 5 Mile and Merriman Road
Livonia, Michigan
Categories: Cum | Dads | Michigan | Restaurants | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
