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Lady at table of discount clothing to guy browsing through sweatshirts: Yeah, Japanese-made condoms are really the most reliable.
Guy: Mmm-hmm.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: woefully uninformed
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Customers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Shopping | Posted 2010-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ireland: Encapsulated.
20-something boyfriend with arm around girlfriend: God, we've saved a fortune not buying condoms recently.
Girlfriend: Yeah, a few more years of this and a baby will have paid for itself!
Cork
Ireland
At Some Point, Sex Starts to Feel Like Surgery
Slutty girl in college dorm: Yeah, I know four or five guys who wear Magnums... Bitches are huge!
Lubbock, Texas
Overheard by: Maximagnum
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Penis | Sorority types | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...As Dear Abby Told You in That Column
Girl #1, throwing home pregnancy test into friend's basket: Here, I think you need this.
Girl #2, throwing box of condoms into friend's basket: Not as much as you need these, you slut.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Erica
Categories: Comebacks | Condoms | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Pregnancy | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Where No One Knows My Identity.
Guy to friends: I use condoms in town, but skeet out of town.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Eve's dropper
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Friends | Guys | Tennessee | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Evidence That Sex and the City Would've Been a *Lot* More Interesting If It Had Involved Plus-Sized Sistahs
Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It's still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It's been three days. I can't reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That's nasty! And if you askin' what I think you askin', you can forget it!
Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Categories: Biotechs | Condoms | Fat people | Friends | Questions | Restaurants | Vagina | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With Just a Hint Of Chlamydia
Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!
Toronto, Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Condoms | Dancing | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Sensory experiences | Teens | Posted 2009-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Detect a Veiled Insult
Guy #1, during pride festival: Why do I have to carry all the condoms!?
Guy #2: Because you have the biggest pockets!
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Clothes | Compare and contrast | Condoms | Guys | Questions | Washington | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Even Worse in Chicago.
8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So...um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind...
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: nice thought...
And He Prefers to Feel His Moon in My Seventh House
Girl #1: I mean, there's condoms for free in the student center! Why don't you guys use protection?!
Girl #2: Sigh. I don't know. I think because I'm a Gemini.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Who has this conversation when I'm sitting right next to them?
Categories: Condoms | Default | Euphemisms | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Sex | Stupidity | Posted 2009-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Trendy Diseases?
Hot girl: I've spent so much on condoms since I got here that I think it would be cheaper to just have the damn kids by now.
Westwood, California
Categories: California | Condoms | Default | Family ties | Girls | Kids | Money | Pregnancy | Posted 2009-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Had No Idea What They Were, Either.
Short girl: So, what do you do with the pen cap condoms?
Much taller girl: Okay, you take them...and you throw them out.
Short girl: You don't like...reuse them or something?
Much taller girl, smiling: Do you reuse normal condoms?
(short girl laughs)
Much taller girl, seriously: Don't just wash those and reuse them.
Onteora HS
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
Tonight's Movie: Dude, Where's My Common Sense?
Dude #1: So did you fuck that chick after we left the other night?
Dude #2 (glancing around to make sure no one's listening): Yeah.
Dude #1: Yes! I knew it!
Dude #2: Dude, I didn't even know what was going on until I came outta my blackout, and realized I was balls deep.
Dude #1: Condom?
Dude #2: (shakes head)
Dude #1: Yes!
Toons Bar
Chicago, Illinois
We Smoke It Over the Smoldering Corpses Of Our Enemies
Guy giving out samples: Free sausage! Try some local sausage for free! Made right here in Seattle, no preservatives!
(people walk right past stand without looking)
Guy, in same tone of voice: I will figure out where you live and burn down your houses! Free sausage! Try a sample!
Pike Place Market
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Default | Employees | Food | Geography | Guys | Stores | Threats | Washington | Posted 2009-03-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Fairness, Condoms Make It Impossible to See With the Penis
Girl #1, with condom on hand: I don't know why men bitch about wearing these.
Girl #2: They say they don't feel "natural."
Girl #1: Well, neither do my glasses, but I wear them 'cause I need to see.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Condoms | Default | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Words | Posted 2009-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
By the End Of This Class, You'll Be Able to Open Them With Your Penis
Peer-taught health class leader: Do not open condoms with a knife.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
The Large Group Ones Are a Logistical Nightmare
Peer-taught health class leader: Small group condom practice! Wooot!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
The Only Surefire Way to Protect Your Money Nowadays
Teen: And when I woke up, everything in my purse was covered by a condom.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: At least it was protected
Worst. Condom Ad. Ever.
Woman on cell: Make sure you put it in a baggie so it doesn't get cooties everywhere. You know.
Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Condoms | Default | Massachusetts | Public transportation | STDs | Women | Posted 2009-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We've Tried and We've Tried
Neighbor: Dude, condoms don't work on dogs.
Lawrence, Kansas
When He Was Little, She'd Carry Him in One of Her Haversacks
Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so...ahem...close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Dads | Default | Family ties | Siblings | Virginia | Words | Posted 2008-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Speak From Experience
Guy: I wonder why they don't make "ribbed for her pleasure" Magnums.
Girl: Because if your shit's that big to need a Magnum, it's already her pleasure.
CVS
Atlanta, Georgia
She Also Found Fifty Cents, a Rubber Band, and a Playbill from Cats
(during a film in a movie theater)
Girl #1 (whispering): Ow, something's itching me--I think there's something in my bra. (gasps) Oh my god!
Girl #2: What is it!?
Girl #1: I just found a condom in my bra and I think it was from last night but I don't remember putting it there!
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Clothes | Condoms | Girls | Memory lane | Posted 2008-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Store Really Shouldn't Stock Them in the Produce Department
(kids looking at strawberry flavored condoms)
Kid #1: Strawberries!
Kid #2: No, they're strawberry balloons.
Kid #3 (shocked): No, they're condoms!
All 3 kids: Arrghhh.
Supermarket
Melbourne
Australia
Especially If, Instead of the G-Spot, There Was a Little Plastic Prize
Guy: But I hate wearing condoms! I can't feel anything. I might as well put my dick in a cereal box.
Girl: I think my vagina is a bit different from a cereal box.
Dude, excitedly: If your vagina had cereal in it, I'd eat you out all the time!
Davidson, North Carolina
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Couples | Food | Foreplay | Girls | Gripes | Guys | North Carolina | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do Girls Have Penises? Discuss
[Chick #1 drops purse, condom falls out.]
Chick #2: [Hands it back.] I didn't know you had a penis.
Chick #1: I'm just being prepared.
Chick #2: In case you grow a penis?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Really the Only Way to Be Safe in a Manhole
Construction worker yelling into manhole: As a matter of fact, I'm wearing a condom right now! Really! I put one on this morning.
10th and Pine
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Didn't want to know
Categories: Condoms | Construction workers | Gender issues | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They've Got Frequent-Flyer Miles Up the Ass
Loud teenage girl: Oh my god, condoms are flying everywhere!
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Overheard by: i don't see any condoms
The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen
Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, 'You've been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!'
Girl #1: ... So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Condoms | Default | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Girls | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | South Carolina | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2008-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Halifax, You Keep Warm Any Way You Can
Cashier: Do you want a bag for those?
Man buying condoms: No, I want to wear them home.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: C
Geez, You Better
Girl to friends: Did he use a condom? No, never mind, you don't use a condom when you're fucking grapefruit.
Montreal
Canadia
Be Considerate of the Rest of Us
Jock: No, dude, you totally have to use a condom with a plastic vagina.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hung
Categories: Advice | Condoms | Jocks | Overheard at Cornell | Vagina | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
