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Instead, I'll Discuss Your Pain With This Complete Stranger
Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn't have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How's your butt feel? Ha! I haven't even told my friends about that yet!
Richmond, Virginia
Is the Range of Gay Sex Really That Limited?
Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date...
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don't want to date her, and we're supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don't know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: "Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?"
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: "Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?"
Gay guy: Awesome.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: $kank
Categories: Advice | Backdoor | Compliments | Default | Family ties | Friends | Guys | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Queers | Questions | Words | Posted 2008-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why She Refuses to Play Musical Chairs
Girl #1: Isn't lap dancing anal sex?
Girl #2: Uhh, excuse me?
Girl #1: Well, if a girl sits on a guy's lap and he gets an erection, it would go [points up] up the ass, right?
High School
Australia
Overheard by: NinjaPirates
Categories: Ass | Australia | Backdoor | Compare and contrast | Dancing | Erections | Girls | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have to Earn the Right to Stay in Paradise, Pal
Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can't dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!
Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Drunks | Guys | Maryland | Pride | Relationships | Restaurants | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Carlos Beltran: I Hate Being an Outfielder
Female Mets fan: I'd let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.
Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York
Overheard by: aaron
If You Have to Tell Her, You're Doing It Wrong
Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you're doing her in the ass!
Moe's Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma
Gay Men Can't Drink Coffee? That's Crazy.
Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Bag ladies | Bars & Clubs | Character | Crazies | Default | Etiquette | Insults | Penis | San Francisco | Posted 2008-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good to Meet a Gentleman Of the Old School
Dude: Hey I'm Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I'm Lauren*. We've met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other's name since we're talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Categories: Backdoor | Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Default | Etiquette | Florida | Guys | Names | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think It Distracted People from the Opera
Male stripper: ... And I was doing this chick up the ass, and, I mean, it was awesome, but I couldn't shake the feeling that somehow I was being incredibly rude.
Generator Hostel
London
England
Overheard by: Backpacker Whisperer
It's Like How Some People Only Smoke When They Drink
Gentleman: See, this is the thing -- I have a couple of drinks, and then I think, 'Hmmm... Spiro's cock up my arse...'
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Australia | Backdoor | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Posted 2008-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Sick of Looking for a Place to Keep My Purse When I Go Out
Girl #1: I fucked in the ass last night for the first time.
Girl #2: Did it hurt?
Girl #1: Nope! But this morning when I shit it did! I think my hole got bigger!
Girl #2: That is sick!
Girl #1: You're just jealous!
Girl #2: Maybe a little.
Augusta, Georgia
Well, Why Didn't You Say So In The First Place
Girl on cell in busy hallway: Will you assholes shut up?! I'm trying to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend here!
Punk: When you get done breaking up with him, can I fuck you?
Girl on cell: No!
Punk: Not even anal?
Macomb Community College
Warren, Michigan
Aw, Man, I'm Always Bringing Up the Rear
Girl to two guys: So, who has the smaller cock?
Guy #1: Oh, me.
Girl: You can fuck me in the ass.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Doug
If You Want Me to Listen to That Shit, You Gotta Buy Me Bacon
Redhead punk: Oh, God, the first guy I ever had sex with did that to me... Well, actually, that's not true. He took my technical virginity. I actually lost my anal virginity first to another guy.
Blonde hipster friend: [Silence.]
Redhead punk: Yeah. So anyway, what happened was--
Blonde hipster friend, suddenly eating vigorously: --Mmm, French toast!
Denny's
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: lost my appetite
And the Duke Lacrosse Party Only Got Better
Sophomore #1: [Whispering.]
Sophomore #2: Oh, dude! She is hot!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]
Sophomore #2: I would so fuck her!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]
Sophomore #2: Dude, I so would fuck her. Like, fuck her up the ass.
Mt. Tabor High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: eating lunch.
Categories: Backdoor | North Carolina | Sex | Students | Posted 2008-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Bought My Sore Anal Cavity a Box of Chocolates the Next Day
Young woman: He was really sweet about the butt sex... If it's possible to be sweet about butt sex.
Windermere, Florida
Overheard by: I think that's entirely possible...
Would've Meant More If You'd Had It All with Me
Flamboyant art boy: So all that anal sex meant nothing to you?!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: voltaire
But He Gave Me an A on the Midterm, So I Looked the Other Way
Chick: ... And he was so dorky that he, like, mistook my ass for my vagina and he started fingering it, and I was like, 'Oh, he's a pro,' but then I realized and was like, '... Oh...'
Shout-out: overheardatyale.blogspot.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Yale | Posted 2007-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... As This Science Experiment Demonstrates
Queer: No amount of chocolate or Fosse will bring back my ass virginity.
Indiana University
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: spunky
Next Time I Advise You to Introduce Yourself First
Girl #1: Are you fucking me up the asshole without any K-Y?
Girl #2: Yes. Yes, I am.
Wellington, New Zealand
Overheard by: Ouch!
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | New Zealand | Posted 2007-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Fell in While Looking for a Missing Lamb
Boyfriend: Let's get you all liquored up, and I can throw it in your butt.
Girlfriend: No! That's not even how it happened the first time.
Trader Joe's
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jummy Bear
Baby: Are We Talking about Ass-Fucking Here?
Guy with baby: So, I found out that Ed tried something fairly kinky with Sarah when they got together at our wedding...
Girl: What? What did he try?
Guy with baby: It was fairly kinky...
Girl: Did he try to sodomize her?
Guy with baby: Alright, he did! But he was too drunk... She said it was like a marshmallow. [Turns to baby in baby talk] Wasn't my cousin a big silly to try to sodomize my roommate when he was in that state? Yes he was! Yes he was!
Dominick's Restaurant
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Jack
It's So Hard to Find Cheap Storage in This City
Dominatrix: I don't do anything sexual to my clients. All I do is stick things up their asses.
Street fair
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Backdoor | California | Chicks | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2007-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ow! What the Hell?
Conductor: Plenty of seats in the rear, folks!
Old guy, making way through crowd: I'll take one in the rear!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: liz the whiz
Categories: Backdoor | Conductors | Old folks | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Mediterranean Guys? Really?
Girl #1: You know, I think I really like this guy.
Girl #2: What's his name again?
Girl #1: Andreas. He's from Greece. He's really cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, but be careful with those Mediterranean guys. They seem all well and good, but sooner or later they all try to fuck you in the ass.
Harrison Street and 19th Avenue
Hollywood, Florida
Overheard by: it's funny 'cause it's true
Used to Be Carnival Prizes Were Things Like Stuffed Giraffes
Dude: I think I'll take the bean bag over the butt sex.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Backdoor | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Posted 2007-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Something Tells Me That Wasn't Actually Random
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: So, this is totally random, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he's done?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Uh...
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they're black. Well, actually, they're brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: I would hope they'd notice.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Think about it! Walking around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Maybe that's why some black people smell bad.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Oh my god! You're so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I'd never take it up the ass from a black guy.
530 Church Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Caryn
Categories: Backdoor | Michigan | Poop | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unlike Nose Sex, Where It's Just Everywhere
Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it's warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!
High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend
Categories: Backdoor | Creepsters | Georgia | Gossip | Posted 2007-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everybody Puts That on the Syllabus
Girl #1: Ugh, I just got raped by another final.
Girl #2: Seems all you talk about these days is getting sodomized by exams.
Girl #1: Why do you always assume it's anal?
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Backdoor | Education | Overheard at McGill | Students | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That's How You Were Conceived
WASP mom to her two pre-teen kids: Your father got fucked in the ass.
Micawber Books
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Categories: Backdoor | Gossip | Moms | New Jersey | Parenting | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can Dispense with Talking
Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you 'Baby'?
Frat boy #2: No... You've bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying -- we're experienced.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the ear
Categories: Backdoor | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fisher-Price Introduces the Backyardigans Butt Plug
Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don't. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!
Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: keller-wish i'd gotten there fifteen seconds earlier
Messy, Uncomfortable, and Potentially Fatal
Girl: I honestly think anal sex is just as bad as fucking a guy with a girlfriend.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Overheard in Lake County | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
