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Think They'll Let Us Go Back and Look for Your Ass, or What?
Black lady #1, after riding Superman: Did you sit on them tree sides?
Black lady #2: No, I didn't.
Black lady #1: You should've! You could see them motherfuckin' trees! And I was like "what the fuck!" I mean, I was cussing my ass off!
Black lady #2: So that was you?
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Emma
Categories: Black people | Body parts | Gripes | Missouri | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are We Weird for Assuming They're Discussing Abortion?
Chatty female college student to friends: So it was sort of like that, except instead of a q-tip, it was a vacuum. There was no scraping at all.
Friend: Wow... that's crazy.
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Categories: Friends | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Students | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And She Was All, "This Isn't JDate, Neil"
Disembodied male voice from next door: And I was like, "hey, do you wanna see my circumcision scar?"
Sitka, Alaska
Overheard by: Hailey
Categories: Alaska | Guys | Offers and requests | Penis | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Sword Fights in the Library, Dude
Computer nerd on laptop: See that walking cucumber over there? (pause) Yeah, well, I have a magic sword!
Dartmouth College Library
New Hampshire
Overheard by: Madeleine
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Food | Magic | New Hampshire | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Argument Against Exposing Kids to the Arts
Little girl to mother: Mommy, where's Aladdin?
Mother: He'll come soon, sweetie.
(repeats this for ten minutes)
Little girl, seeing Aladdin on the stage: Who is that?
Mother: Aladdin.
Little girl: Where's Jasmine?
Adventure Theater
Anaheim, California
Categories: California | Kids | Moms | Offspring | Pop culture | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Postal Service Has Really Stepped Up Its Game
Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that's lovely.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Compliments | Employees | Feelings | Guys | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Though I Do Still Have PTSD from That House.
Hippie: Yeah, John saw things that nobody should see.
Chic woman: Dude! We all did! Your house was seriously gross!
Hippie: Uh, I meant when he was in the war in Iraq...
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Compliments | Geography | Hippies | Sensory experiences | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2011-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well I Can't Help It If Yours Is a Bigger Target
Guy going up escalator to friend: Did you see that? That guy just tried to touch my butt.
Friend: Don't complain, he succeeded in touching mine!
Washington, DC
Categories: Ass | Friends | Guys | Sensory experiences | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"The Literature Of Drug Prescriptions" Was a Popular Course at UMass
Guy: I can't tell if he's being poetically ambiguous or if he just has really bad handwriting.
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Beth
Categories: Character | Compliments | Guys | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because Jello Is More Traditional
Girl to friend: I just don't understand why people don't want to be covered in spaghetti!
University of Virginia
Overheard by: MW
Categories: Food | Girls | Sensory experiences | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What He Calls His Penis.
Man at urinal, peeing, to no one in particular: This toilet smells like my sadness.
Bar
London
England
Overheard by: Dirty PJ
Categories: England | Guys | Pee | Philosophy | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Law Says I Can't Do That in a Skirt
Teen to mother: Why are you wearing pants?
Mother: Because I gotta get rid of the chilly.
Harrison, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
It Said It Needed a Witness for the Lawsuit
Girl to friend going back into lecture hall: But it's just a pen, Kelly!
Friend: I just wanna see where it fell!
Toronto
Canadia
We Fear for Our Submitter's Health
Very drunk 20-something guy: Honestly, I get a pulse in my dick when I talk to you. I'm going to fuck you tonight.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman: Oh yeah?
Very drunk 20-something guy: I'm so hard right now... Have a feel.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman, grabbing hold of his crotch: You're totally flaccid.
(very drunk 20-something bursts into hysterical laughter)
Nightclub
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Drunks | England | Penis | Sensory experiences | Wishes | Posted 2011-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Highly-Prized Utah Grunting Salad
Woman: My salad just made a guinea pig noise.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Categories: Animals | Food | Sensory experiences | Utah | Women | Posted 2011-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Men Had to Wear Thongs.
Man in fancy shirt: Oh, my butt's been hurting.
Girlfriend: Why does it hurt?
Man in fancy shirt: There's been something pokin' me all day.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Brilicia
Categories: Ass | Couples | Oregon | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-05-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So, All in All, It Was a Successful Party.
Girl: I look retarded!
Guy: My balls hurt.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
It Gave Me Relationship Advice
40-something driver to friend: So I saw some interesting roadkill the other day...
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Another chupacabra?
Categories: Death & dying | Friends | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Interestingly, There's No Black-and-White Answer to That.
Five-year-old son to father: I wonder what zebra farts smell like?
The National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Kat
Categories: Animals | Kids | Questions | Sensory experiences | Washington, DC | Posted 2011-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
David Arquette Loves Visiting the U.K.
Quiet, intense, plain chubby girl to skinny guy with child-molester mustache: When you fuck me, choke me.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Blee
Categories: England | Fat people | Girls | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2011-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think Of It As a Cheap Facelift!
Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don't like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You'll be fine, grandma. Come on!
Universal Studios
Florida
I'm Tempted to Remove My Diaper
Guy at party #1: Hey, hold on, did that baby get naked?
Guy at party #2: Yeah, man, it's hot in here.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
...He's a Keeper, Abby!
Girl #1: And like, he gets me so drunk that when I get off I barf!
Girl #2: Wow!
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: Chiz
Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Getting off | Girls | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Gentleman Doesn't Make You Bleed 'til the Third Date
Stoned girl at party: I don't think I'm gonna call him back, he was fingering me in pretty rapey way.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Druggies | England | Girls | Masturbation | Sensory experiences | Violence | Posted 2011-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Oh, That. Subway, Why?
Girl, after hugging friend: Um, why do you smell like a scrotum?
Guy: Wait, what?
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Body parts | Girls | Guys | New York | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only One Of Us Actually Uses Our Noodle.
Twin guy #1: This pillow smells like my dreams!
Girl, smelling pillow: Beef Ramen noodles?
Twin guy #1: I am awesome at dreaming!
Twin guy #2: This is why I hate that we have the same face.
Milford Mall
Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Layla
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Food | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Summary, Never Pick Your Nose With Your Thumbnail
Coed to another: It's someone picking their nose... but in the thumbnail it looked like a penis
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
Categories: Girls | New York | Penis | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is a Prejudice Bad Even When It's Good? Discuss.
Former roommate: Arabs smell good... No, I don't talk to stinky Arabs. All my Arab friends smell fantastic.
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Categories: Guys | Indiana | Race | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together.
Crazy woman on cell: Do you want that pretty rug that I found at your aunt's house? I found out why it smells like piss.
Beloit, Wisconsin
Categories: Crazies | Family ties | Questions | Sensory experiences | Wisconsin | Women | Posted 2011-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Instance, She's Always Refusing to Change My Diaper!
Woman to friend: I don't know why she wants a baby. I mean, she doesn't even like poo.
Edmonton
Canadia
Kathy Griffin Loves Disneyland
Teen to another: I got so excited, I have wet butt syndrome!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: Kristen
Categories: Ass | California | Maladies | Sensory experiences | Teens | Posted 2011-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Mustache?
30-something to another: Yeah, it's the same way I can tell you're a hipster. I can tell he's anti-semitic.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: siobhan
Categories: Bragging | Guys | Overheard Lines | Politics | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That a Baby Bird in Your Bangs?
30-something #1: Last night I was brushing my hair, cause you know I haven't owned a hair brush in a year... And all these sticks and grass and dirt kept falling out.
30-something #2: You are a dirty hippie, you need to use some soap!
30-something #1: I don't like labels, man. I don't have soap.
30-something #2: True, man, labels are whack. But dude, you smell.
Hostel
New Mexico
Overheard by: Alex
Categories: Advice | Guys | Health & Hygiene | New Mexico | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Liked This Quote So Much, We Were All, "We Like This Quote So Much!"
Woman on phone: I saw a greyhound in the middle of the road. So I told her, "there's a greyhound in the middle of the road!"
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Animals | Australia | On the phone | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That They're Ladies
Econ professor: Now, if you'll look to the upper-right corner of the handout, you'll see some pretty ladies. Since this handout is somewhat blurry, you can't see them very well, so you'll just have to take my word that they're pretty.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
Things Nobody Else Tells You, Dear Reader
Man to friend: I think the worst part about this whole cancer thing is that his smell has changed.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Friends | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-12-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What the Fuck Is Going on in Leamington Spa??
20-something drunk girl, pointing at traffic lights, to friends: Shhhh! We have to be quiet! This is where the dwarf lives!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Admit It-- You're Strangely Aroused.
Pretty hipster in lab: It's cold in here and it's also not hot outside.
Pretty nerd in lab: Shouldn't the thrill of science keep you warm?
Pretty hipster in lab: That's such a stupid thing to say...
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Warm for Science
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Hipsters | New York | Questions | Science | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When a Man Gets a Brazilian Wax
Woman #1: Ouch! That must have hurt!
Woman #2: Not really... He was possessed.
São Paulo
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Maladies | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Not What I Meant When I Asked "What's Your Position?"
Eastern European delegate in back row: And that was by far the biggest thing that has ever been in my ass!
College of William & Mary Model United Nations Conference
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: The Georgia delegate now regretting her seat choice
...Shall I Demonstrate on This Turkey?
EMS instructor, about female reproductive system: Backing away from this now... We don't want to get too deep into it.
Bergen County SMS Academy
New Jersey
Overheard by: Emt student
Categories: New Jersey | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Teachers | Uterus | Vagina | Posted 2010-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Won't Talk About Liam Ever Again, Okay?
Five-year-old girl: I think we got almost all of the blood out, mommy. You know, Liam's blood? We got almost all of it out of the sheets. That was a lot of blood.
Mom: Yes we did, honey.
Rest Stop,Turnpike South
New Jersey
Overheard by: TM
Categories: Cleanliness | Kids | Moms | New Jersey | Parenting | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-12-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now What Makes It Cold?
Teen girl to friend: It's called "iced tea." It tastes like tea, but it's cold.
Green Line Subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rob
Categories: Diet & weight | Girls | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Words | Posted 2010-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Before My Sister Was Like, "Get Out Of My Room!"
Bearded college guy: I almost saw a high school girl's vagina today!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. lil
Categories: Bragging | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sensory experiences | Students | Vagina | Posted 2010-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who You Callin' Unoriginal?!
Emo #1, trying on black eyeshadow: Does it look alright?
Emo #2: Yeah, it looks great!
Emo #1: Should I buy it?
Emo #2: Yes! Oh my god, there's some on your face!
Emo #1: Where?
Emo #2: There, on your cheek!
(emo #1 starts wiping it off)
Emo #2: Hey, you look like an aboriginal.
Cosmetics Shop
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Somni
Categories: Beauty | New York | Sensory experiences | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whereas Mine Is Much More Of a Peeing Plum
Girl, smelling another girl's hair: You're right! It does smell like a sweaty peach.
Australia
Categories: Australia | Fruit | Girls | Hair | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Could Also Use a Cup Of Java
Ditzy cute girl: Look at the clouds! They're blue!
Friend, deadpan: You mean the sky.
Ditzy cute girl: Yeah! Ohmigod, kittensssss!
Jakarta
Indonesia
Overheard by: I only want my coffee
Are You Talking About Conversation or Fellatio?
Boyfriend to boyfriend: Yesterday Hughes came over and, well, exploded my brain, basically. I was like "ahh!"
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing on the inside
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Euphemisms | Queers | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Laser Pointers Are for Girls!
Australian lecturer: Nakedness wasn't good until now. Now it's great.
College
Portland, Oregon
Categories: Advice | Body parts | Oregon | Sensory experiences | Teachers | Posted 2010-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Girls Have a Gift for Spilling Their Mountain Dew
Gossipy high school girl to others: I don't think she was faking it. The couch was all wet when they got up!
Ice Cream Shop
St. Louis, Missouri
And, in Our Lab Session, We'll Demonstrate It.
Professor: And tomorrow, we'll talk about the suck knob.
University of Hartford
Connecticut
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Connecticut | Education | Sensory experiences | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When the Magic Mushrooms Came to Oklahoma City
Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No... Sorry, I found one in our shower.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Their Relationship Is Sweet but Sticky
Guy: I bet you taste like cotton candy. (pause) Is it okay, sometime, if I'm hungry, if I take a little nibble...
Girl: No!
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Candy | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Washington | Posted 2010-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Ooo, There's That Smell Again!
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: I love the smell of hatred in the morning.
Confused girl sitting next to him: Is it anything like coffee?
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: What? No, it's nothing like coffee. God, you're so stupid.
College Dining Hall
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Food | Girls | Guys | Insults | New Mexico | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Divorce the Second Woman and Marry the First, Guys
Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.
Alabama State Fair
Overheard by: Wendy and Joe
Categories: Alabama | Animals | Poop | Sensory experiences | Women | Posted 2010-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...That's Sick!
Tiny black girl: And then I had to have Buckley's, and you know what? It tastes exactly like jizz.
Asian girl, perplexed: You've had Buckley's?
Pub
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Asians | Bars & Clubs | Black people | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Cum | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No More Hentai for You, Young Man.
Three-year-old boy: When I get older my penis is going to get so big, and then it will talk to me.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr Banana Grabber
Categories: Age and ageing | Florida | Kids | Kids | Penis | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kermit: It's Not Easy Oozing Green
Bartender #1: Yeah, so I had this weird shit comin' outta my dick. It was sick, dude. Like this funky green pus-like shit oozing from the tip. Smelled like shit, too.
Bartender #2: Dude, you need to quit boning so many filthy whores. You're like rotting from the inside.
Bartender #1: Shit, man, I don't give a fuck. As long as I keep gettin' laid.
Bartender #2: You ain't gonna be doin' shit if your fuckin' nasty dick falls off.
Bartender #1: I know, right? This last chick I nailed was a total slut. I pulled down my pants and she could smell whatever's up with my cock. She goes "Ew, what stinks? Is that your dick?" And I go, "No, it's my feet, I swear!" Then I just pulled her towards me and shoved it in. It was awesome.
Bartender #2: Fuck, man. Something's definitely wrong with you.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Nasty Nate
Categories: Bartenders | Body parts | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Maryland | Penis | STDs | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2010-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Unkindest Cold Cut Of All
Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No...?
Father: Then you're not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Categories: Burping & farting | Compare and contrast | Dads | Kids | Kids | Maryland | Parenting | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Look, an Erection!
Small-chested hiking girl: Damn! Hey, you'd wipe the sweat off my boobs, right?
Busty hiking girl: Only if you wipe mine.
Small-chested hiking girl: Somehow I think I'm going to have to do a lot more work.
Hiking boy: Uhhh...
Fort Boreman Park Hiking Trails
Parkersburg, West Virginia
Categories: Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | Offers and requests | Rack | Sensory experiences | West Virginia | Posted 2010-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Not, I Don't Think You're Ready for This Sorority
Girl at dining hall: I mean: haven't you ever smelled your own bellybutton?
Lehigh Universuty
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not During?
Incredibly drunk sorority girl to boyfriend: Sweetie, can we throw up before we do it tonight?
UBC
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: The only sober guy on the bus
Categories: Canadia | Couples | Drunks | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Sex | Sorority types | Posted 2010-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The "Everything" Bagel Really Does Have Everything
Girl to sister: The cheese is so good! It tastes like chicken!
Parenra
Houston, Texas
Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Girls | Sensory experiences | Siblings | Texas | Posted 2010-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Bad Ones
Lazy construction worker: Watch out, that stuff is hot!
Busy construction worker: It's okay, my fingers are used to the heat. I used to have habits.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kendra
Categories: Body parts | Construction workers | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Assuming I've Successfully Turned You Gay. Now Let's Go Look at Window-treatments.
Little boy on bus: Mom, mom, what's that? (points at Showgirls)
Mom: It's a titty place! Don't worry, no one's going to come out naked, but you won't care about that when you're 20.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Face
Categories: Age and ageing | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Questions | Rack | Sensory experiences | Sex | Washington | Posted 2010-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What a World
Little boy: My legs are melting! My legs are melting!
Target
White Plains, New York
Categories: Body parts | Kids | Kids | New York | Sensory experiences | Stores | Posted 2010-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Too Kind, Madame
Little girl, in Arabic, as she sits in the train: Smells like cotton candy!
Mother, in French: Yeah, you're right, it smells like cotton candy. (to grandmother) Don't you think it smells like cotton candy?
Young black woman, sitting in the next row, smiling: It's me. It's my perfume.
Mother: Really?! What is it?
Young black woman: Vanilla and cotton candy.
Mother: Really? My girl told me it smells like the amusement park. At first I thought it was the cleaning product they used to wash the train floor. (pause) It smells really good.
C Train
Paris
France
Overheard by: BBM Tm
Categories: Black people | Candy | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Family | France | Kids | Moms | Sensory experiences | Strangers | Train | Posted 2010-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mary Kay Letourneau Always Knew What She Wanted
Kid: Woah, you just blew my mind!
Teacher: That's not all I'll blow.
High School
Pennsylvania
Categories: BJs | Education | Kids | Kids | Pennsylvania | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sensory experiences | Students | Teachers | Posted 2010-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kinda Like Disney World?
20-something guy: I had a threesome once with two lesbians. They were eating each other's pussies out. It was fun.
20-something girl: You liked it?
20-something guy: I didn't say I liked it. I said it was fun.
Norman, Oklahoma
Why You Shouldn't Wait to Have Sex 'til Marriage
Med student #1: You broke up with her because of a facial expression?
Med student #2: Man, if you saw her "o" face you'd would've done the same. (makes contorted face with mouth wide open)
Med student #1: Oh, hell yeah... that's some ugly shit to come to.
Med student #2: I would have never been able to get off... and all those sounds!
Med student #1: Sexy?
Med student #2: Jungle. Primal.
School of Medicine
University of Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Maryland | Questions | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Students | Posted 2010-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Are Happy to Help a Complete Stranger Have a Trauma
Young woman #1: So we just left her in there with the stallions for like four hours. She still doesn't know anything about it.
Young woman #2: Oh my gosh, you never told her? I'm going to tell her next time I see her.
Young woman #1: No, don't tell her! She doesn't drink, so she'd just be like, "waaahhh, what did you guys do to me?"
Young woman #2: Oh, right.
Upstate New York
Categories: Lies | New York | Sensory experiences | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Zagat Guide Says So
Guy: You never know, perhaps he'll like it.
Girl, happily: I taste... Horrendous!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Tim
Categories: England | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2010-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's a Funny Name for a Ghost!
Crazy guy: Hey, June*! Do you know that my cabinets keep opening and closing by themselves?
June*: Well, do you believe in ghosts?
Crazy guy: Yes, I do!
June*: Maybe your place is haunted, and the ghosts just want to say hello.
Crazy guy, after thinking a while: No, I think it's just my schizophrenia.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Categories: Crazies | Girls | Guys | Mental illnesses | Sensory experiences | Vermont | Wishes | Posted 2010-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Unhealthy Appetite at a Time
Dude #1: This street smells like greasy food and whores!
Dude #2: I could go for some greasy food right now.
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: MF
Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Guys | Michigan | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2010-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Obesity: Explained.
Little boy, pointing to a box of cereal: What's this?
Mom: Cocoa Krispies. It's chocolate-flavored Rice Krispies.
Little boy: Oh my god!
Stop & Shop
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: Diana
Kirstie Alley Lights Of Up the Screen in Look Who's Tanning!
Pale girl: Sure, I'll go tanning with you. How much is it?
Dark girl: For the baby bed, only $7.
Pale girl: The baby bed? What's the baby bed?
Dark girl: What you need to do, girl!
Pale girl: Yeah, but do they, like... Put babies in it?
Drexel University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I wouldn't know either....
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Kids | Money | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
New Yorkers: We Thought It Was Clean
Girl #1: I wonder if vegans get on the metro and, like, can't sit down because the seats are leather.
Guy: No, this is pleather.
Girl #2: If it were leather it would smell like it.
Guy: No, that's only clean leather.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Vegan sitting on the Metro
Categories: Diet & weight | Girls | Guys | Public Transportation | Sensory experiences | Washington, DC | Posted 2010-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Guess Who's Had a Little Too Much Caffeine?
Guy: I'm not exactly awake yet. Hence the espresso. (holds up cup)
Girl: Oh, you should pour it all over yourself!
Guy: I think that would be contrary to waking up.
Girl: No, no. You'd absorb the caffeine into your skin, and you'd become Awake Man! And your arch-nemesis would be the Sandman, and... and... stuff.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Food | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Winter Olympics: Explained
Man in expensive dark suit #1, with grave look on his face: It was toasted. I should never have got it toasted. Now it's all... Cold, and crunchy. (in tone of intense disgust) Toasted.
Man in expensive dark suit #2, looking even more serious than the first: Toasted... You should know better. Never get it toasted if you're saving it.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Sensory experiences | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Gives the Same Answer to "Is the Bathroom Clean?"
Customer: Is this a cheese danish?
Hipster barista: It's lemon creme...kind of cheesy, I guess.
Customer: Is it good?
Hipster barista: Kind of... It's subjective.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Categories: Baristas | Customers | Food | Hipsters | Pennsylvania | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Always Give Your Pets Such Unique Names!
Teen girl on cell: Yes, well, there's excitement, plateau, orgasm... and I forget the last one.
99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | On the phone | Orgasm | Sensory experiences | Sex | Teens | Posted 2010-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's a Savory Savior
Guy to girl in bar: What did you have, some of that Blood of Christ?
Girl: Yeah!
Guy: Yeah?!
Girl: Yeah! It's yummy!
Bar
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Jill
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Girls | Guys | Jesus | Nebraska | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There Is a Downside to Thong Underwear
Concerned-looking sorority girl, walking out of bathroom stall: Oh my god guys, do you really think my butt smells like ass?
Bathroom
University of Idaho
Overheard by: CrayonCake
Categories: Ass | Idaho | Questions | Restroom | Sensory experiences | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Margaret Cho's Dieting Again
Girl #1, taking in horrible smell: Whah...?
Girl #2, nodding, seriously: Yeah. Diarrhea. (pauses, then frantically) Not mine!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: phew.
Categories: California | Girls | Poop | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lousy Human Condition
Cute girl #1: Do you ever wake up and just smell really bad for some reason?
Cute girl #2, without hesitation: Yeah!
Tufts University
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: concerned about sanitation
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whomever It Is, Thank You!
Drunk sorostitute to group of friends: I'm getting boned in the butt! Who's boning me in the butt?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: pob
Categories: Ass | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sensory experiences | Sex | Sorority types | Posted 2010-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the People Who Brought You Rice Cakes...
Guy to girl with gum: Can I have a piece of gum?
Girl: Sure, but it kind of tastes like dirt.
Guy in back of class: Ooooooh! Can I please have a piece?
Midlandstech, South Carolina
Categories: Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | South Carolina | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Who Can Shower Less?" Is a Dangerous Game
Girl #1: Awww... I knew I smelled you!
Girl #2: (laughs hysterically)
Bennington College
Bennington, Vermont
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Sensory experiences | Vermont | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Not As Good As the Cucumber, or the Remote Control
Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!
ER
Newport Beach, California
Categories: Ass | California | Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Doctor's office | Doctors | Hands | Nurses | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2010-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Still Adore Rosie Perez
College guy: You know when you throw the egg at the pink dinosaur? You know that sound? That's what her accent sounds like.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Guys | Minnesota | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless I'm Just Having a Really Awesome Stroke
Girl to male cat: You're so cute! You smell like bacon... but that's okay.
Lewisville, Texas
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Food | Girls | Sensory experiences | Texas | Posted 2010-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's in the Company's Value Statement
Guy to friend: Well, some armpits smell good, too.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Turtle
Categories: Body parts | Guys | Pennsylvania | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Window Into Their Relationship
Loud girl to boy: Sorry, I didn't listen... You know, I just stared out of the window and for a second thought, "wait a minute, I know that person"--only to realize it was my reflection! Does that happen to you sometimes?
Hamburg
Germany
Overheard by: Staring at my own reflection in disbelief
Categories: Compare and contrast | Germany | Girls | Guys | Questions | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...So I'm Afraid I'll Have to Decline Your Offer.
Macy's sales clerk: Now this cologne is $19.99 for the large bottle and comes with the free teddy bear.
Large woman spilling out of leopard-print tube top, sniffing: This is nice... It's real classy smelling.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: I don't discriminate; I hate everybody.
Categories: Customers | Employees | Fat people | Sensory experiences | Shopping | Toys | Virginia | Posted 2010-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet I Notice You're Not Moving.
Asian girl in bright coat: Oh my fucking god, I think I just lost my virginity.
Blonde girl: Wait, how does that even work?
Asian girl in bright coat: The end of the teeter-totter seat is like totally up my ass, and it's like penetrating.
Blonde girl: Oh.
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Shawn
Axe Finally Made a Body Spray Women Like
Girl: What smells like lemon poppy seed cupcakes?
Guy: It might be my penis.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Categories: Food | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Penis | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Easy to Predict Which Kids Will Suffer Most in School
Four-year-old girl on push scooter, to mum: The steering is counter-intuitive!
Oxfordshire
England
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | England | Kids | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cat Owners Totally Sympathize
Yoga instructor to friend: I've always wanted to throw up on a cat.
Berkeley, California
Categories: Animals | California | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Teachers | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everthing I Hated About High School Is Suddenly Flooding Back to Me...
Eccentric driver's ed student: Sometimes I really just like to sniff my pants. (leans forward and sniffs his pants)
Northport, New York
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Bus drivers | Clothes | Creepsters | New York | Sensory experiences | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What'd You Think Was in a McFlurry?
Woman #1: You're going to suck meat through a straw?
Woman #2: Yeah!
Culver City, California
Overheard by: LaLa Land
Categories: California | Food | Questions | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do I Know You?
Guy on crowded bus to friend: My undies are going to smell like Mexican food for a day and a half.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I don't want to know
Categories: Bus | Compare and contrast | Food | Friends | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sensory experiences | Undies | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What I Love About You-- You're Not Afraid to Take Risks
Girl #1: I pulled out my knuckle hair with my teeth just now.
Girl #2: What? What the hell?
Girl #1: I was bored. And I wanted to see what it would feel like.
(silence)
Girl #1: It felt like a pinch.
Columbia, Missouri
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Girls | Hair | Missouri | Sensory experiences | Wishes | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Identifying Your Feelings Is an Important First Step.
Huge guy with a Mohawk: It worries me that I can't smell my deodorant.
Grocery Store
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Deana
Categories: Guys | Health & Hygiene | Illinois | Sensory experiences | Stores | Posted 2010-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only in the Places Where You're Smoking That Blunt
Girl #1: You look really high right now.
Girl #2, panicking: Do I smell high!?
Cumberland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Categories: Drugs | Girls | Maine | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Rachel Ray Show We've All Been Waiting for
Guy: Do you know what "felching" is?
Girl: No... Is it tasty?
New Jersey
Categories: Cum | Girls | Guys | Licking | New Jersey | Questions | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Furniture Stripping
First grade teacher to colleague, in front of first graders: And so I walked into the living room and he was there, naked, standing on the coffee table.
Portland, Maine
Ever Dated Anyone from Seattle?
Trendy Asian on crowded platform: It smells like hot ass in here.
Trendy Asian friend: How would you know what hot ass smells like?
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: TrainRider
Categories: Asians | Ass | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Friends | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jack Daniels and Cigarettes: the Early Years
Girl: Good morning, Rob*.
Guy, gasping: Your voice changed! It's deeper!
Girl: Oh. This is my morning voice. It's how I sound in the morning.
Guy: You're not cute anymore!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's with All the Waking Up Naked?
Guy: I took some ibuprofen, and then when I woke up in the morning all my clothes were off. Luckily, my headache was gone.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Clothes | Guys | Headaches | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Washington | Posted 2009-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Asked the Purple Monkey in the Corner, and Even He Didn't Know.
Man: I just had a dream where I was stoned, and when I woke up, I couldn't tell if I was stoned or not.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: jfa
Categories: Drugs | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2009-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is a Gluestick, Sweetie.
Guy: I've been using the same deodorant stick for the last eight years. I'd replace it, but I think they discontinued the brand.
Wal-Mart
Ft. Collins, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Stores | Posted 2009-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Their Tongues Touched, They Produced Amy Winehouse.
Girl, after kissing boy: You taste like smoke.
Boy: You taste like testicles.
Las Vegas, Navada
Overheard by: ScaredTourist
Categories: Balls | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Nevada | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Imagine It's a Lot Like Victory.
Little boy throwing fit: I've never had dessert in my life! I don't even know what it tastes like!
Outside Cookie Store
Kingsport, Tennessee
Why Yeast Infections Exist: A Short Story.
Girl #1: Do you think I could wash my clothes with fabric softener? I don't have any detergent.
Girl #2: That should probably work.
(30 minutes later)
Girl #2: So, did it work?
Girl #1: Yeah... I think... they don't smell anymore, at least. Good enough, right?
Laundry Room, University of Alabama
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: I don't think it is
Categories: Advice | Alabama | Cleanliness | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...That's an Erection, Joey.
Teenage boy to friend: Oh, damn, my skin's turning purple again!
Friend: Your skin's turning purple again?
Teenage boy: Yeah!
Friend: Oh, damn!
Charleston, South Carolina
Categories: Body parts | Friends | Sensory experiences | South Carolina | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...From the Sketchy Dude Gyrating Next to Me.
Teen princess to another, in changing room: Oh my god, she's so trashy. Who would ask their friends to a a pole-dancing class there? The pole dancing studios I go to in the city are like sexy and hot. But at that one, I got carpet burn.
Changing Rooms
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Australia | Compare and contrast | Dancing | Education | Questions | Sensory experiences | Sex | Teens | Posted 2009-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But They Taste Like Country Crock
Nonchalant tween: My farts smell like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!®
Moscow, Idaho
Overheard by: saturday morning
Categories: Burping & farting | Compare and contrast | Food | Idaho | Sensory experiences | Tweens | Posted 2009-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
According to Paris Hilton's Guide to Science
Woman: My legs are burning. But only because I'm putting more pressure on the gravity.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Body parts | Health & Hygiene | Science | Sensory experiences | Washington | Women | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Gave Me Religious Pamphlets. I Forget.
20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Friends | Girls | New York | Questions | Rack | Sensory experiences | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Leave Ethan Hawke Alone.
Guy to another: Why's he bother to wash his clothes, anyway, if he smells that bad and doesn't bother to bathe?
Laundromat
Catskill, New York
Overheard by: Amie
Categories: Bathing | Cleanliness | Clothes | Gossip | Guys | New York | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Professors Rarely Ask Students to Introduce Themselves on the First Day Of Class Anymore
Nerd: I don't know about you, but I have trouble being romantic when I'm sweating to death.
Community College
Illinois
Overheard by: adderall driven
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Feelings | Illinois | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Frightening Because the Photograph Is Screaming
Girl, nodding to human mess across the way: Is that girl burning holes into a photograph with a cigarette?
Guy: That is frighteningly erotic.
University of South Florida
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Florida | Girls | Guys | Questions | Sensory experiences | Sex | Smoking | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At the Bad First Date Olympics
Woman eating Chinese food to man sitting across: Why don't you try some? It's good.
Man in creepy English accent: No, I get equal or more pleasure watching you eat.
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Food | Guys | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Women | Posted 2009-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have to Leave the State to Offend Anyone
Guy: Hey, come sit over here.
Girl, taking seat: Why?
Guy: I farted.
Girl, remaining in seat: Oh, I don't care.
Guy: Goddamn it! Why are the girls we hang out with so cool?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Burping & farting | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-11-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Australian Sex Ed Is a Lot Different from Ours
Teenage girl: Orgies suck when they smell.
School
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: I worry about this girl
Categories: Australia | Gripes | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sensory experiences | Sex | Teens | Posted 2009-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Pornographic Snowmen Never Work
Woman to friend: Well, yeah, but then it got wet, so it fell off...
Vallejo, California
Overheard by: Jerod T.
Categories: California | Friends | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Amniotic Fluid, Cigarette Smoke, and Misspent Youth.
Girl: Everything I touch smells like Britney Spears, but in a bad way.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: About celebrities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Illinois | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Lied and Said, "No."
Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet... just to see what it feels like.
Maine
Um, That's What You Said About Anal.
Worldly hipster: Do you drink?
Very naive girl: No, tried it once, didn't like the taste.
Worldly hipster: Do you like tea?
Very naive girl: Yes.
Worldly hipster: Good, then you'll like beer.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: The RJP
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Food | Girls | Hipsters | Ohio | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tara Reid Has Done So Much for Humanity
Girl: She wasn't flashing us! Her boob was hanging out. He was in shock. I think it was the first time he ever saw a boob in real life.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Rack | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Texas | Posted 2009-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Yada Yada Yada, E. Coli.
Guy to girlfriend: I thought it would be funny to eat an O'Henry while pooing.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alywishus
Categories: Canadia | Couples | Food | Poop | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Naturally, She's Going on to Smith
Senior girl #1: Ugh! I feel like I've seen Katie's vagina way to many times.
Senior girl #2: Everyone has seen Katie's vagina. I don't know if you can graduate if you haven't.
Colorado
Overheard by: will be graduating...
Categories: Colorado | Education | Sensory experiences | Students | Vagina | Posted 2009-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But When We Say That About Canadians, We Get Angry Letters
Girl #1: Hey, you smell great!
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, you smell like that nice soap.
Girl #2: I don't use soap.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Justin
Categories: Canadia | Cleanliness | Compliments | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is What Fun Is, Son.
Little boy: Ewww... what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.
Categories: Dads | Drinking & drunks | Kids | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Parenting | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, It Was Just Rain.
Preppy girl #1: So I had it all over me, it was on my hands and my face...
Preppy girl #2: Oh my god! Did you throw up?
San Luis Obispo, California
Categories: Body parts | California | Cum | Hands | Health & Hygiene | Preppies | Questions | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't Wait for the Swallow-or-Spit Discussion
Instructor, during wine tasting: So swirl the glass and tell me what you smell.
Student: It smells like oak?
Instructor: Yeah! I'm definitely getting wood from this.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: me too
Categories: Colorado | Drinking & drunks | Education | Sensory experiences | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Use a Completely Hypothetical Anecdote
Professor: Fluorine is to chlorine as chlorine is to Kool-Aid. If you inhale chlorine, it burns your nose--you inhale fluorine and it'll eat your face and look for your family.
San Diego State University
San Diego, California
Categories: Body parts | California | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Family ties | Health & Hygiene | Science | Sensory experiences | Teachers | Posted 2009-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Can Finally See Things Clearly.
Hipster guy: Are you going to bed?
Hipster girl: No. I just don't know man. I feel like my head is full of Saran wrap.
Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Virginia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Health & Hygiene | Hipsters | Questions | Sensory experiences | Virginia | Posted 2009-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Means the Chili Was Juuuust Right
Four-year-old child, excitedly, holding mother's hand: My butt is burning!
Maine
Who Wants to Volunteer for My First Demonstration?
Economics professor, discussing equilibrium in trade curves: When you reach that point, the climax, everyone can go home satisfied and exhausted. So as you can imagine, we're going to fool around with these curves quite a bit.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: au
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Eavesdrop DC | Education | Sensory experiences | Sex | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mating Season Can Be Brutal in Canadia
Girl: This entire city smells like vagina.
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Girls | Sensory experiences | Vagina | Posted 2009-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Plot Summary Of The Grapes Of Wrath Leaves Something to Be Desired
Stoner guy: So he turned around and there were aliens in the back seat. Then he said, "Yay! Now we can have a hoe down!"
Western Kentucky University
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Kentucky | Sensory experiences | Sex | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Surprised That You Left the House
Girl #1: I smell vagina. Do you smell vagina?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Is it my vagina? Maybe it's your breath. (girl #2 blows in her face) Yeah, it's your breath. It smells like vagina.
Charleston, South Carolina
Categories: Girls | Questions | Sensory experiences | South Carolina | Vagina | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Further Evidence That Some Wood Is Wiser Than Others
Teacher, handing out candy to class: They're really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That's the best part.
High School
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Candy | Gifts | Health & Hygiene | Mouth | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sensory experiences | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Speaking Of Things That Need to Stay in Vegas
Guy, telling everyone about a massage: You know how grandma's hands are real soft?
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Craig
Categories: Family ties | Guys | Hands | Masturbation | Nevada | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is Swamp Ass the Next Evolutionary Step? Discuss.
Teenage boy: Are you saying your asshole gets sweaty when I'm around?
Teenage girl: Exactly.
Northgate
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: NotSoSuperMario
Categories: Ass | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Sensory experiences | Teens | Washington | Posted 2009-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Besides, Greed Stains.
Woman #1 in central Taipei: When she went to the us, she took along several boxes of detergent, because she doesn't like the smell of American detergent.
Woman #2: Yeah, I wouldn't want to smell like an American either.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Categories: Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Health & Hygiene | Other sites | Sensory experiences | Taiwan | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors' Verdict: Shower Yes, Loofah No
20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.
San Antonio, Texas
Categories: Balls | Bathing | Chicks | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Friends | Insults | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With Just a Hint Of Chlamydia
Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!
Toronto, Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Condoms | Dancing | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Sensory experiences | Teens | Posted 2009-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or When You Pull the Tampons Out Of Your Butt?
Gay boy to girl posse, seeing commercial for panty liners with extra sticking power: So, like, doesn't it hurt when they stick to your vag?
Fargo, North Dakota
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Queers | Questions | Sensory experiences | USA | Vagina | Posted 2009-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whose Bra Is This, Anyway?
Pretty girl in last night's dress #1: I feel like I smell really terrible. Can you smell me?
Pretty girl in last night's dress #2: Yeah. We should probably take a shower... wash away the sins of last night.
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bathing | Girls | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Tennessee | Posted 2009-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mormon Undergarments, Explained
Emo girl #1: I don't want to smell bad; I just want to look like crap.
Emo girl #2: Yeah...
Hospital
Salt Lake City, Utah
Categories: Girls | Sensory experiences | Utah | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Was Lots Of Fun 'til the Police Arrived
Little boy: How 'bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!
St. Joseph, Michigan
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Kids | Michigan | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Creatures Often Crawl Out Of the Lake to Matriculate
Girl #1: Jane*'s nice.
Girl #2: Yeah. But she smells like a dirty used tampon.
Girl #1: Yeah, makes me sick a bit.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Beauty | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Girls | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Website?
Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it's a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j-j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That's only for guys. And in the Amazon!
Redding, California
Categories: Animals | California | Fears | Friends | Girls | Insects | Pee | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Aunt Jemima Eats Burritos, Everyone Knows It.
Churchgoer to another: Did you fart? Something smells like buttermilk.
Methodist Church
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Nick
Categories: Burping & farting | Compare and contrast | Food | Sensory experiences | Strangers | Tennessee | Posted 2009-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Said It Smells Like Tacos, Not Shit
Gray-haired lady: It smells like tacos in here.
Older blue-haired lady, gesturing toward Latino family several feet away: I think it's those people over there.
Metropolitan Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Food | Michigan | Old folks | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now That Metal Rods Are the Latest Fashion Craze
Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm... probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.
Classroom
Sydney
Australia
Some Children Don't Blend Well
Little girl to friend: You little... Butter, I'm going to whip you up until you smell like rotten juice!
Park Playground
Tacoma, Washington
Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Friends | Kids | Sensory experiences | Should have used a condom | Threats | Violence | Washington | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Slope Made Slippery by Extra Butter
20-something chick, gravely: I'm having severe intrusive thoughts about buying a medium popcorn.
Friend: So go buy a popcorn.
20-something chick, gravely: No, you don't get it. I'm serious.
Vancouver
Canadia
What You Never Knew About Clark Kent's Upbringing
Daddy: If you don't eat...
Three-year-old boy: You'll hit my butt? I like it when you hit my butt, it feels good on my super wee-wee!
Chick-fil-A
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Carrie
Categories: Ass | Dads | Food | Kids | Parenting | Restaurants | Sensory experiences | Should have used a condom | South Carolina | Threats | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Has Sex In Very Unusual Places
Crazy drunk lady, whispering: I think I got asbestos on my hands. (in louder voice) Or maybe it's sperm! Heeheeheeheeheehee!
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: EdgingAwayFromHer
That's Why Raccoons Wash Their Food First
Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Categories: California | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Friends | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Penis | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Drag Queens Are Treated Like Livestock in Canadia
Four-year-old boy, dancing happily down sidewalk: I'm like a princess! I'm like Cinderella!
Mother: Except you stink. So more like stinkerella.
Calgary
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Posted 2009-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's More Fun Than Tormenting Vegans?
20-something girl to friend: You should totally eat some meat. Maybe you'll get the meat sweats.
Wedding
Redlands, California
Overheard by: Ruben
Categories: Advice | California | Food | Friends | Girls | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Also Sweats Through His Pants
Babysitter: My dog gets hot walking.
Seven-year-old: How can you tell?
Babysitter: He sticks his tongue out, and his fur is really warm.
Seven-year-old: Sometimes when I'm out in the sun my hair feels hot.
Babysitter: Yeah, now imagine you have hair all over your body.
Seven-year-old: Like my dad.
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Animals | Babysitters | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Hair | Kids | Kids | Missouri | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Badly Want to Hear the Joke for Which This Is the Punchline
Woman to another: And I said to him, "well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!"
Portsmouth
England
Meet the Inventor Of the Bulletphone
Physics student: If you go faster than the speed of sound, can you...hear...into the future?
Kingston High School
Kingston, New York
Categories: Compare and contrast | New York | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Science | Sensory experiences | Students | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Asked If There Were Any Questions About the Midterm, Greta.
Girl: Do you ever feel like you have a feather in your pants?
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Clothes | Connecticut | Girls | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost As Great As "O Hanukah" on Kazoo
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard "Dreidel, dreidel " played on guitar? It's fucking awesome!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Delaware | Guys | Music | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
By the Time It Was Over, I'd Broken All Ten Commandments
Blonde 20-something to sister: This morning I was rinsing my mouth with mouthwash and also peeing, and then I realized I had to sneeze and I was like, "uh oh...this can only end poorly" ...because I was kind of stuck.
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Cleanliness | Health & Hygiene | Mouth | Pee | Sensory experiences | Siblings | Washington | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...With a Little Plastic Bride and Groom Stuck Inside.
Young boy #1: I want a wedding cake snowball.
Young boy #2: What does a wedding cake snowball taste like?
Young boy #1: Like wedding cake.
Young boy #2: I've never been to a wedding.
Young boy #1: Then it just tastes like cake.
Snowball Stand
Louisiana
Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Kids | Louisiana | Questions | Sensory experiences | Wishes | Posted 2009-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook