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Thanksgiving's Not a Religious Holiday, but Whatever

Waitress: Are you going to celebrate Thanksgiving tonight?
Woman with thick Canadian accent: Oh, no, we're going to go home and worship Satan, if that's okay with you.

Cracker Barrel
Orlando, Florida


Categories: Baristas | Evil | Florida | Holidays | Religion | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-01-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Showed Me Their Union Cards

Kid-faced guy in suit on cell: Yeah, and then those malicious evildoers told me I shouldn't be there. (pause) They were the minions of the Antichrist. (pause) I'm serious, dammit!

King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Carrie


Categories: Christianity | Evil | Gripes | Guys | Pennsylvania | Posted 2010-12-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

By Marriage, but Still

60-something man: I don't want to be with my first wife for an eternity! She is Satan's sister.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Fluffy


Categories: Arizona | Evil | Feelings | Old folks | Relationships | Posted 2010-03-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then We'll Rebuild the Engine in My Chevy

Girl #1, excitedly: Okay, this is where I leave you. I know you're going to forget all about this conversation when I go, but...
Girl #2, interrupting: No, no, I won't--I'm going home right now to google "demons" and "possession."
Girl #1, walking away: Right, good. We're going to make this happen!
Girl #2, heading in opposite direction: Even if everyone else thinks we're crazy!
Girl #1, vehemently, from across the street: It's all down to us, now! We'll exorcise that demon if it's the last thing we do!

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Only if I can watch...


Categories: Evil | Girls | Magic | Maryland | Religion | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mmm, Sacrilicious!

20-something girl: Those deviled eggs totally messed me up... Emotionally.

Manhattan, New York


Categories: Evil | Feelings | Food | Girls | New York | Posted 2009-12-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Rather a Creature Who Hates All Happiness

Professor, on Dante's version of the devil: This is not like one of those vampire things that are good-looking and want to suck your blood, and that makes you happy.

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania


Categories: Beauty | Books | Colleges & Universities | Evil | Happiness | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-12-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Gonna Love Detroit, Sir

Social worker talking to hobo: What can I get for you, sir?
Hobo: How about a 9 mm semi-automatic gun?
Social worker: Well, I can't do that, but do you need bus tickets? Where are you going?
Hobo: Hell.
Social worker: Okay, I'll get those bus tickets then.
Hobo: Your hair's much nicer than mine.

Hospital
Ontario
Canadia


Overheard by: yooo

The Debate About Renée Zellweger Rages on

Guy: That's an unfortunate-looking girl.
Girl: She has Down syndrome.
Guy: I'm going to hell.

University of Florida

Overheard by: Nick

Be Afraid, Dear Reader. Be Very Afraid.

Man with thick accent on cell: The problem is that their religion is their life. They are diabolically opposed. (long pause) Yes. I think it is time for another crusades.

Salt Lake City, Utah


Categories: Evil | Guys | On the phone | Religion | Utah | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

See the Iron-On Label?

Mormon-looking hick teen: (holds up shirt and looks at his mother)
Hick mom: Gawd, no! That is Satan's shirt!

Wilmington, North Carolina

Overheard by: Amy


Categories: Clothes | Evil | Moms | North Carolina | Parenting | Religious fanatics | Teens | Posted 2009-07-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But We'll Learn Better Ways to Do That in This Class

Professor: At concerts, you move your head in an up-and-down motion in certain parts, also known as "headbanging." You may also be Satanic. You may or may not, or you might just to piss off your parents.

Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com


Categories: Evil | Family ties | Music | Overheard at UMBC | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-06-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Like the Ad Promises!

Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.

Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana


Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh


Categories: Ass | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Default | Evil | Feelings | Girls | Louisiana | Malls | Questions | Posted 2009-05-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Door Is Somewhere in New Jersey

Bus preacher: Prime time bingo is the key to hell.

Kingston
Jamaica


Categories: Central America | Default | Evil | Games | Religious fanatics | Weirdness | Posted 2009-05-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Know What You Did Last Sundae Was an Instant Box Office Smash

Little girl: I don't want ice cream, daddy. Know why, daddy? (in a demonic voice) Because it's evil!

Grinnell, Iowa

Overheard by: Jake


Categories: Default | Evil | Food | Girls | Iowa | Kids | Kids | Questions | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-12-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The ACLU Defends the Constitution? What Kinda Commie Shit Is That?!

Volunteer #1: We can't be selling this music, it's devil worship.
Volunteer #2: Well, that's the ACLU. The ACLU ought to be abolished. They're why there's all this stuff around.
Customer: Why are you getting rid of that? Don't you think people ought to be able to choose for themselves?
Volunteer #2: Harry Potter is a witch!
Customer: I think we ought to get rid of Bush and Cheney, put them in jail--they're mass murderers!
Volunteers #1 & #2: (silence)

Joshua Tree Thrift Shop
California


Overheard by: Celeste Mann

Do You Need More Evidence That McDonald's Is Hell?

Drunk guy to group of teenagers at McDonald's: Demon? Demon? Demon? Demon...

Florianópolis
Brazil


Overheard by: Marlon


Categories: Brazil | Default | Drunks | Evil | Guys | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-10-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's Just Our German Chocolate Cake, Ma'am

Little old lady to cashier: Satan puked here.

Rapid City, South Dakota


Categories: Customers | Default | Evil | Old folks | Religious fanatics | South Dakota | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-09-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

How I Met Your Mother

Drunk man to woman passing by: Fornication is evil! Thou shalt be kind to your neighbours!
Woman: Yeah, well, god built the Nevada desert and the Colorado River and then we came and built the Hoover Dam, leaving people without water or resources. So just by being here we're fucking over our neigbours.
Drunk man: Can I kiss you?

Outside The Flamingo
Las Vegas, Nevada


Overheard by: Steph


Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Evil | Gripes | Nevada | Strangers | US Geography | Women | Posted 2008-07-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then It Was really Sacrilegious When We Made Out

Teen girl #1: Remember when you were Jesus and I was Satan?
Teen girl #2: Yeah.

Upper Hutt
New Zealand


Overheard by: Schmitty


Categories: Evil | Girls | God | Memory lane | New Zealand | Questions | Teens | Posted 2008-07-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Can't Explain Why I Continue to Play

Random board gamer: Settlers of Catan was created in the bowels of hell to make otherwise intelligent people say: "I have wood for sheep."

Epoch Coffee
Austin, Texas


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Evil | Games | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Oh Yeah, Grindhouse Is Just Dripping With Tolstoy

TA: It's like Anna Karenina in two hours, with shotguns and Satan.

UCSC
Santa Cruz, California

And Mr. Cheney Looks Damn Good in a Black Teddie

Girl: Dude! Satan is in the store! He's trying on lingerie.

Victoria's Secret
Bakersfield, California


Categories: California | Clothes | Default | Evil | Girls | Stores | Posted 2008-03-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Republican National Convention Is This Month

Woman to small child: Oh, yes, Satan is very busy. He's, uh... He's... Yeah, he's veeery busy.

Target
New Haven, Connecticut


Categories: Connecticut | Evil | Lies | Moms | Posted 2007-11-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

God, Economics Really Is a Dismal Science

Really happy college chick: So many people will die. You know why? The demons are hungry. When you die they eat your soul. They're hungry and they aren't happy about it, so people have to die.

Route 16 bus
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by: wishing I had chosen a different seat


Categories: Crazies | Evil | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-04-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook