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The Aroma Was Strangely Heavenly

Guy: Jesus puked in your car?

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: rich


Categories: Default | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Jesus | Names | Overheard in PDX | Questions | Posted 2008-07-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Joke's on You-- It Was Jesus Dressed As Santa!

Nanny (in thick Irish accent): Get over here right now!
(little girl does not move)
Nanny
: Jesus sees you!

(little girl still not moving)
Nanny
: Santa sees you, and you'll get nothing!

(little girl runs to nanny)

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Charles


Categories: Default | Girls | Illinois | Jesus | Kids | Kids | Offers and requests | Santa Claus | Threats | Women | Posted 2008-06-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

In an Abstruse Theological Way That Requires Nothing of Us

Mid-30s casual man to woman: Obama is our modern-day political Jesus Christ. He will save us.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: babybug


Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Jesus | Politics | San Francisco | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Like We'd Really Elect a Latino?

Teen girl to classmates: Jesus was not a President!

US History Class, High School
San Diego, California


Categories: California | Default | History | Jesus | Politics | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-06-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Water-Walking, Fig-Tree-Blasting Badass from Nazareth

Freshman theater student: So we were in acting class and we did this exercise where we had to portray mythological creatures, and afterwards when we were telling the class what we were, this one kid said: "I was Jesus!"

MBTA
Boston, Massachusetts


Categories: Default | Education | Guys | Jesus | Massachusetts | Students | Train | Posted 2008-06-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Philip Pullman: Goddamn It!

[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]
Mom
: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!

Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?

Great Escape Theater
Illinois


Overheard by: The Surly Usher


Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Dads | Illinois | Jesus | Moms | Movies | Questions | Posted 2008-05-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Guess I Never Really Thought of Simba in Those Terms

Girl #1: Even when I was a little kid I knew it was Christian propaganda. I was like, "Hey, this lion is Jesus!"
Girl #2: That was great, say it again.
Girl #1: This lion is Jesus!

AMC Century City


Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Friends | Girls | Jesus | Kids | Movies | Offers and requests | Words | Posted 2008-05-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Jesus: Mooom, They're Starting With the Gay Thing Again!

Blonde #1: I saw a church sign the other day that said "Let Jesus be a part of your rainbow." Isn't that, like, gay?
Blonde #2: Maybe you're supposed to think about Jesus when you're having gay sex.
Blonde #1: Ohhh... I get it now.

Piscataway, New Jersey

Overheard by: .... I don't think anyone gets it.


Categories: Friends | Girls | Jesus | New Jersey | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

"Take, Eat, This Is My Body" Would Actually Work As a Pick-Up Line

Drunk college guy: If I were Jesus, everything would be different!

Duluth, Minnesota

Overheard by: Nic


Categories: Compare and contrast | Drunks | Frat boy types | Guys | Jesus | Minnesota | Students | Wishes | Posted 2008-04-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At

Man: I'm giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you're concerned with your figure?

Starbucks
San Diego, California


Overheard by: Maggie


Categories: Beauty | Christianity | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Food | Guys | Holidays | Jesus | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-04-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Conversion in Progress --Please Stand Back

Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn't have a price!

Montclair State University
New Jersey


Overheard by: oh, jesus

You Can Feel Their Effects for Thousands of Years

Freshman: Are Arby's sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby's sandwiches are Jesus Christ!

Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona

Taught Me the "White Elephant"

College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!

University of Rochester
Rochester, New York

Jesus Is My Squirtle

Chick: I'm like Ash from Pokémon, only with Jesus!

Denver, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Jesus | TV shows | Posted 2008-03-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

"Family Game Night" Has a Different Spin When Your Parents Are Psychologists

Chick: Yeah, he was just showing us random slides and told us to guess what they were. And there was this one slide -- at first I thought it was Jesus and some chick, but on the next slide the dude was turning into a horse and I thought, 'Jesus never did that!' so I just put down 'Man turning into a horse.'

Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana


Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Indiana | Jesus | Posted 2008-03-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Fair Enough, Mr. President

Man to friends: Dude, I believe in Jesus the same way I believe in Batman -- the awesome way!

Park Tavern
Denver, Colorado


Overheard by: lauren


Categories: Colorado | Default | Friends | Guys | Jesus | Posted 2008-02-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She's Bringin' "Rakish" Back

Chick: I'd worship Jesus if he had a rakish and amusing hat.

High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado


Categories: Chicks | Colorado | Default | Fashion | Jesus | Posted 2008-02-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Jesus: How the Fuck Did That Rumor Get Started?

Girl #1: So, what's your idea of the perfect guy?
Girl #2: Oh, I know what she'll say! Jesus.
Girl #3, blushing: She's right.
Girl #1, rolling eyes: Ugh! But you can't go down on Jesus... can you?

Franklin, North Carolina

Overheard by: J-Bake-Oh


Categories: BJs | Default | Girls | Jesus | North Carolina | Questions | Posted 2008-02-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Some Churches Have Ejector Pews

Little girl to priest: Why is it called 'Good Friday' if that's when they killed Jesus?

Homestead, Florida


Categories: Florida | Jesus | Kids | Questions | Posted 2008-02-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'm Pretty Sure Bill O'Reilly Claims To

Little girl: Mom, why isn't my last name 'Christ'? Why doesn't everyone have the last name 'Christ'?

Hill Air Force Base
Utah


Overheard by: Wasn't his middle name H?


Categories: Jesus | Kids | Names | Utah | Posted 2008-02-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Which One?

Guy #1: Let's see Grindhouse.
Guy #2: What's that about?
Guy #1: Jesus.

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com


Categories: Idiots | Jesus | Movies | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2008-01-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

In That He Told God Everything

Kid #1: ... And so, there is an alpha male among rats--
Kid #2, interrupting: --Jesus Christ was a rat!

City High School
Iowa


Categories: Iowa | Jesus | Kids | Posted 2007-12-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Or at Least Oprah

Mother: I'm going to sell you to the zoo.
Child: No, sell me to Jesus!

Billings, Montana

Overheard by: Amber


Categories: Jesus | Kids | Moms | Montana | Posted 2007-12-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wait -- Which One Was He Again?

Skinny girl: Holy shit! Jesus wasn't rich?
Geeky guy: Um... No.
Skinny girl: So it was like a moral victory?
Geeky guy: ... What?

London
England


Categories: England | Friends | Jesus | Posted 2007-12-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Didn't Do the Reading, Did You?

Religion professor: Why did Jesus die?
Student: Loss of blood?

College of Charleston
South Carolina


Categories: Jesus | South Carolina | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-10-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'd Be Like, "Dude, This Is My Body"

Chick: I totally want to make out with Jesus. I mean, I like my boyfriend, but it's Jesus... I'm totally going to Hell.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin


Categories: Chicks | Jesus | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-10-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

He Kinda Dropped the Ball with That Asteroid Thing, Though

Man: Man, I'd like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.

Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah


Overheard by: Iain


Categories: Animals | Idiots | Jesus | Stupidity | Utah | Posted 2007-09-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Jesus: No Way! I Am, Like, Twice That Size!

Girl #1: Y'know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Jesus.
Girl #2: Jesus wasn't Mexican.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still -- it's like I'm having sex with Jesus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pastor about that.

Shout-out: www.overheardinvancouver.ca

Overheard by: katherine


Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Jesus | Overheard in Vancouver | Posted 2007-08-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Not Sure What to Bite Off First

Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!

Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri


Overheard by: Carri Jo


Categories: Candy | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Gripes | Jesus | Missouri | Penis | Posted 2007-07-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then He Had to Leave to Feed the Holy Spirit

Cafeteria lady: Last night Jesus took me home!

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: cherrynwhite


Categories: Jesus | Overheard in Philly | Servers | Posted 2007-06-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If He's the Real Deal, He'll Forgive Me

Dude #1: Dude, did you just call Jesus a fag?
Dude #2: I did.

Billings, Montana

Overheard by: he really did


Categories: Friends | Jesus | Montana | Names | Posted 2007-05-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

He Eat Brains! ... Oh, Wait

Lady with mic: Nothing is more powerful than Jesus! He die; he get up!

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: lab


Categories: Jesus | Overheard in PDX | Religious fanatics | Posted 2007-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Scary Up-on-the-Cross-Why'd-You-Do-This-to-Me Jesus

Girl #1: I was up until two a.m. last night. I'm so tired.
Girl #2: Why were you up so late?
Girl #1: I was talking to Jesus.
Girl #2: Oh, which one?

Wisconsin


Categories: Chicks | Jesus | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-04-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Dude, Where Have You Been for the Last 2000 Years?

Genius: ... And that's how I know Jesus is crazy.

Amherst, Massachusetts


Categories: Crazies | Jesus | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-04-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why the Bible's Endured

Kid: Mom, what's the last supper? Why is it called 'The Last Supper'?
Mom: Because it's the last meal Jesus had with his disciples.
Kid: Awesome!
Mom: ... Before one of his disciples betrayed him and he was killed.
Kid: Awesome!

Target
North Haven, Connecticut


Overheard by: Johnny Utah


Categories: Connecticut | Jesus | Kids | Moms | Stores | Posted 2007-04-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mmm, Sacrilicious

Stoner: That's like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.

100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio


Categories: Food | Gandhi | Jesus | Ohio | Stoners | Posted 2007-04-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook