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Divine Intervention?
20-something girl to friend: Why are there needles in my bible?
Orlando, Florida
Won't That Hurt?
Middle aged woman to another: I swear, they're going to make us work till we're Protestant!
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Christianity | Ireland | Jobs & Careers | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost Like We're Misinterpreting the Bible or Something
Coffee-drinking woman: Thank god they're Buddhists. Unlike Christians, where we'll just blow the shit out of each other. And not in the good way.
Marin, California
Categories: Buddhism | California | Christianity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"...From Outer Space"
Woman #1: Oh, did I tell you? I had a dream last night about Ray. He told me that he was okay where he was.
Woman #2: You know what that means, right? It means he's gone up to heaven.
Woman #3: Or... It could simply mean that you dreamed about Ray.
Woman #2: You have to have some faith in dreams. Remember that bible story: Jacob and the technicolor bathrobe.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Wondering if they took many baths back in those days to reqire bathrobes
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Christianity | Clothes | Death & dying | New York | Women | Posted 2010-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Minneapolis Does Its Public Service Announcements a Bit Differently
Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint pedophilia. It's a Catholic church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy, stunned: What the fuck was that?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: well, that was odd
Categories: Christianity | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sex | Sexuality | Strangers | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And by "Celebrating Mass" I Mean Exactly What You Think I Mean
18-year-old guy to friend: If I liked kids, I would be celebrating mass at a Catholic church.
Mexico City
Mexico
Overheard by: Kafnut
Categories: Central America | Christianity | Friends | Kids | Teens | Posted 2009-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Forever 21 Started Manufacturing Habits...
70-something nun to another: I don't care about the bra straps. It's my boobs that really stand out in this shirt.
Holyoke, Massachusetts
Overheard by: ldiggitydawg
Categories: Christianity | Clothes | Massachusetts | Nuns | Old folks | Rack | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Likes to Stand Out on the Porch and Shake a Stick at Trespassers
Tour guide: Where is your group going next?
Tourist: The Vatican.
Tour guide: Oh? You are lucky, the Pope is not there.
Florence
Italy
Overheard by: Burlabo
Categories: Christianity | Employees | Italy | Questions | Tourists | Posted 2009-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Say No to Jesus, Kids
Teen girl #1: He offered it to me in church--I mean, who offers someone marijuana in church?
Teen girl #2: When else could he do it?
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Colleen
Categories: Christianity | Drugs | New York | Questions | Teens | Posted 2009-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You've Got Game If You Can Pick Up Girls at the Reading Room
Bearded old hobo: Heyyy, Cinderella.
Teenage girl: Um... hi!
Bearded old hobo: Want me to read the bible to ya?
Teenage girl: No thanks, I'm good.
Bearded old hobo: I know you are. (winks)
Outside Christian Science Reading Room
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Christianity | Hobos | Names | Offers and requests | Old folks | Teens | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Homer Simpson: Mmm, Sacrelicious...
Teen girl to friend: You know what I wanna do? Smoke a joint rolled in a page from the bible.
McDonald's
Ohio
Overheard by: Dylan
Categories: Christianity | Drugs | Friends | Girls | McDonald's | Ohio | Questions | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2009-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Think We Pray For?
Stoner girl #1: What happens at Christian retreats?
Stoner girl #2: You pray and reflect.
Stoner girl #1: Oh. So no beer, then?
Stoner girl #2: Definitely no beer.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Christianity | Drinking & drunks | Girls | New Jersey | Questions | Stoners | Posted 2009-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tennessee Teenagers Have Only Two Options
Loud smoking kid: Man, I gotta help out at vacation bible school next week.
Girl: Why?
Loud smoking kid: I promised Zach I would if I wasn't in jail.
Sewanee, Tennessee
Just the Check Then?
Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?
Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Deanna Gustav
Categories: Black people | Christianity | Default | Employees | Girls | Guys | Indiana | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Words | Posted 2009-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Bitch Is Sweet!
New Jersey guy #1: Dude, I bet Mother Teresa's pussy was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
New Jersey guy #2: Is that the bitch from the maple syrup bottle?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Cougar Bear
Categories: Christianity | Default | Food | Guys | New Jersey | Questions | Vagina | Posted 2009-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Re-Enacting the Last Supper with Milk Just Wasn't As Fun
Girl #1: Wanna go to bible study with me tonight? It's really fun! It's gonna be at Stubbs and there'll be free bbq.
Girl #2: You're having bible study at a bar?
University of Texas at Austin
Overheard by: Nicole
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Girls | Offers and requests | Questions | Texas | Posted 2009-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Good Luck Finding Feminist Theory There
Frazzled student at exam pick-up room: Where can I find religion?
Exam worker: The Catholic church across the street?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mary
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Employees | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Questions | Religion | Students | Posted 2009-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From Goonies?
Girl #1: So you got drunk in a church?
Girl #2: Yeah, sort of. There's a bar in the basement.
Girl #1: But isn't that, like, sacrilegious? I mean, isn't slosh one of the seven deadly sins?
Girl #2: Uh, I think you mean "sloth."
Ronnie's Local
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: LB
Categories: Canadia | Christianity | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Questions | Words | Posted 2009-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Still Don't Understand Those Two Dangly Bits
Girl, on sex-ed: Well, I went to a Catholic school and as a result I didn't know what a penis was until I got to high school.
Guy: I think these middle school girls need psychotherapy before they need birth control. 11-year-olds shouldn't be having sex.
Girl: Girls? Why just the girls? They're having sex with 11-year-old boys. You need something to stick in there in order to get pregnant.
Professor: Well, it looks like you found out what a penis was.
University of Northern Iowa
Cedar Falls, Iowa
...Unless You're Mrs. Claus.
Teenager #1: There's no way for Santa to visit all the houses on earth; that's impossible.
Teenager #2: He doesn't have to visit every house, though. Not everybody celebrates Christmas.
Teenager #1: So? That would be like god saying "Muslims can go fuck themselves, I only watch out for Christians."
Teenager #3: Some people actually do believe that.
Teenager #2: Yeah, I mean, if they don't celebrate Christmas, then...
Teenager #1: You know, at the speed Santa would need to travel to deliver gifts to all those people, his sleigh would literally catch on fire.
Teenager #2: Dude, see, it works like this...
Teenager #1: No, here's how it works: there's no fucking Santa.
Chino, California
Categories: California | Christianity | Default | Gifts | God | Santa Claus | Teens | Posted 2009-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If All You Have Is a Hammer...
70-year-old professor, about The Exorcist as example of blasphemy: She used a crucifix as a self-mutilating dildo...
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Movies | New Jersey | Old folks | Teachers | Toys | Posted 2009-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Intelligent Ever Follows the Word "Dude"
Indian guy: Dude...what if Shakespeare was Jesus?
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Asians | Christianity | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Names | Questions | Washington | Posted 2009-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Reads Like a Seinfeld Line
College student: Everything in life can be related back to Seinfeld. It's like the bible, except it won't fail you.
Hookah Bar
Washington, DC
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Christianity | Compare and contrast | Default | Students | TV shows | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Long Story Short, We Got Toys, Motherfucker!
Acting professor: We just tweaked a few things to make it Christmassy and kidnapped Santa.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Crimes | Default | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was That What Elvis' Song Was About?
Redneck lady: Here's where they stop believing the bible is true. This is where you end up, the ghetto.
Creation Museum
Petersburg, Kentucky
Overheard by: Going to hell
This Concludes Our Oral Report
Short girl #1: Mormons are like, on a mission, you know?
Short girl #2: And they smell bad!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Savannah
Categories: Christianity | Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-10-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Golden Girls Had Been a Cable Show
60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying "Easter"?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying "ass"! For saying "ass" on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?
Grandma's house
Illinois
The Secular Equivalent
Enthusiastic elderly Southern woman: There was BBs flying all through the winders, I was so upset I cried. I wasn't going to church at that time, but I went to Wal-Mart.
McDonald's
Richmond, Kentucky
Overheard by: Akilah
Categories: Christianity | Default | Kentucky | McDonald's | Memory lane | Old folks | Women | Posted 2008-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As the Priest Recommended for Penance
Blonde 20-something #1: I feel awful.
Blonde 20-something #2: Yeah, I'm drinking a beer and then going to church.
Bagel Shop
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Christianity | Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Georgia | Girls | Posted 2008-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Plague on Both Their Home Courts!
Chick #1: Mike Dunleavy went to a Catholic school, and Troy Murphy went to a Jesuit school.
Chick #2: They're star-crossed lovers! One is a Catholic, the other a Jesuit!
Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado
Categories: About celebrities | Chicks | Christianity | Colorado | Religion | Posted 2008-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So the Liberal Media Would Have Us Believe
Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)
Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana
But I'm Practicing for My Wedding Night!
Father shouting out of house: Jacinta! Get off that cow! You'll ruin your communion dress!
Limerick
Ireland
Mommy Lost Him During That Spring Break Trip to Tijuana
Mother (giving four-year-old a children's bible): Here, find Jesus for mommy.
Doctor's Office
Ashland, Kentucky
Overheard by: Lola
Categories: Christianity | Default | Jesus | Kentucky | Moms | Offers and requests | Religion | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2008-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She'll Get Forgiveness, but Not Permission
Asian girl #1: They're doing it.
Asian girl #2: They're doing it a lot, it's like twice a week!
Asian girl #1: Man, and she wants it, too!
Asian girl #2: She's Catholic.
San Francisco, California
Categories: Asians | Christianity | Friends | Girls | Relationships | San Francisco | Sex | Posted 2008-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless There's Something I Don't Know About DVD Players
Guy on cell: Just because you own one doesn't make you Mormon!
Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: Autumn
Categories: Christianity | Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | Stores | Texas | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At
Man: I'm giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you're concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
Categories: Beauty | Christianity | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Food | Guys | Holidays | Jesus | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But He Just Unchained Me from the Stove, So I'm Trying Not to Press My Luck
Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.
Mackinac Island, Michigan
Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson
Categories: Christianity | Michigan | Offers and requests | Offspring | Pregnancy | Religious fanatics | Sexuality | Whiteys | Wishes | Women | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost Like She Thinks I'm a Smartass
Guy #1: I think I fucked up my chance with Jen.
Guy #2: Why? what did you do?
Guy #1: Well she's religious, and she sent me a text today that says, "I get real emotional on Good Friday." so I write back, 'I get real emotional on filet-o-fish Fridays.' She hasn't responded since.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Categories: California | Christianity | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Guys | Holidays | Posted 2008-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student
Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.
PM's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bragging | Christianity | Compliments | Default | Guys | Religious fanatics | Sex | Tennessee | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where to Begin?
Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.
Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: aharon
Categories: Christianity | Couples | Default | Idiots | Language barrier | Ohio | Stores | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Very Definition of a Fucking Christian
Stoned girl with drink in one hand and cigarette in the other: I'm a fucking Christian, so I know you're wrong!
Northern Ireland
Oooh -- And Graphic Intolerance!
Mom: No, that's not an appropriate video, either.
14-year-old son: What about this one? It's Christian. It only has violence in it!
Blockbuster
Liberty, Missouri
Overheard by: blockbuster lurker
And If Chris Hansen Shows Up, Don't Let Him In
Angry woman on cell: I told you -- we have Bible study in a half-hour! Get your clothes on and get off of the computer!
Locust Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Categories: Assholes | Christianity | Default | Education | Offers and requests | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Women | Posted 2008-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Question Was "When Was the Battle of Hastings?"
Guy: ... Because the pope touches himself. That's my answer for the first question. That's my answer to any question, really.
History class
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Kaiti
Categories: Canadia | Christianity | Default | Guys | Masturbation | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated.
Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there's Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!
Ladies' locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: New Yorker
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Offers and requests | Sorority types | Tennessee | Posted 2008-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Three, but They Were Eaten by Dinosaurs
Teen girl: So, like, did Adam and Eve have children?
Columbia, Tennessee
That Itching and Flaking Are Just Jesus Telling You You've Been Naughty
Guy to pals: Dude, seriously -- STDs are just Christian propaganda.
Riverbend Music Center
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: robby gigante
Every Catholic Wedding, Encapsulated
Drunk girl: I'm filled with the Holy Spirit... and booze!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Michigan | Students | Posted 2008-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not That Those Have Ever Been Mutually Exclusive
Woman: Do you like your daycare?
Little girl: It's okay. They're Christian, but they're really mean.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Christianity | Kids | Texas | Posted 2007-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Real Jesus: Hey, I'm Cool
Teen girl #1: If he was Jewish, he'd be so less Christian, and then he'd be hot.
Teen girl #2: Exactly! I mean, I'd bang him if he just said 'damn' every now and then.
Teen girl #1: But nooo, he just has to channel Jesus for us every day.
High school party
Virginia
Categories: Christianity | Teens | Virginia | Posted 2007-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, I Know Exacly What I'm Going to Do with Myself
Old lady to friend: ... And the husband's given up the Viagra for Lent, so I don't know what I'm going to do with myself!
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: future old lady
Categories: Christianity | Gripes | Ireland | Old folks | Posted 2007-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Portrayed in the Screen Adaptation by Willem Dafoe
Dude #1: Saint Nicholas. Isn't he the evil one?
Dude #2: No, Saint Nick is Santa Claus.
Dude #1: Oh, I must be thinking of John the Baptist.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Christianity | Idiots | Overheard Lines | Santa Claus | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
