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She'll Get Forgiveness, but Not Permission
Asian girl #1: They're doing it.
Asian girl #2: They're doing it a lot, it's like twice a week!
Asian girl #1: Man, and she wants it, too!
Asian girl #2: She's Catholic.
San Francisco, California
Categories: Asians | Christianity | Friends | Girls | Relationships | San Francisco | Sex | Posted 2008-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless There's Something I Don't Know About DVD Players
Guy on cell: Just because you own one doesn't make you Mormon!
Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: Autumn
Categories: Christianity | Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | Stores | Texas | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At
Man: I'm giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you're concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
Categories: Beauty | Christianity | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Food | Guys | Holidays | Jesus | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But He Just Unchained Me from the Stove, So I'm Trying Not to Press My Luck
Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.
Mackinac Island, Michigan
Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson
Categories: Christianity | Michigan | Offers and requests | Offspring | Pregnancy | Religious fanatics | Sexuality | Whiteys | Wishes | Women | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost Like She Thinks I'm a Smartass
Guy #1: I think I fucked up my chance with Jen.
Guy #2: Why? what did you do?
Guy #1: Well she's religious, and she sent me a text today that says, "I get real emotional on Good Friday." so I write back, 'I get real emotional on filet-o-fish Fridays.' She hasn't responded since.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Categories: California | Christianity | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Guys | Holidays | Posted 2008-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student
Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.
PM's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bragging | Christianity | Compliments | Default | Guys | Religious fanatics | Sex | Tennessee | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where to Begin?
Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.
Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: aharon
Categories: Christianity | Couples | Default | Idiots | Language barrier | Ohio | Stores | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Very Definition of a Fucking Christian
Stoned girl with drink in one hand and cigarette in the other: I'm a fucking Christian, so I know you're wrong!
Northern Ireland
Oooh -- And Graphic Intolerance!
Mom: No, that's not an appropriate video, either.
14-year-old son: What about this one? It's Christian. It only has violence in it!
Blockbuster
Liberty, Missouri
Overheard by: blockbuster lurker
And If Chris Hansen Shows Up, Don't Let Him In
Angry woman on cell: I told you -- we have Bible study in a half-hour! Get your clothes on and get off of the computer!
Locust Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Categories: Assholes | Christianity | Default | Education | Offers and requests | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Women | Posted 2008-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Question Was "When Was the Battle of Hastings?"
Guy: ... Because the pope touches himself. That's my answer for the first question. That's my answer to any question, really.
History class
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Kaiti
Categories: Canadia | Christianity | Default | Guys | Masturbation | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated.
Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there's Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!
Ladies' locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: New Yorker
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Offers and requests | Sorority types | Tennessee | Posted 2008-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Three, but They Were Eaten by Dinosaurs
Teen girl: So, like, did Adam and Eve have children?
Columbia, Tennessee
That Itching and Flaking Are Just Jesus Telling You You've Been Naughty
Guy to pals: Dude, seriously -- STDs are just Christian propaganda.
Riverbend Music Center
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: robby gigante
Every Catholic Wedding, Encapsulated
Drunk girl: I'm filled with the Holy Spirit... and booze!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Michigan | Students | Posted 2008-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not That Those Have Ever Been Mutually Exclusive
Woman: Do you like your daycare?
Little girl: It's okay. They're Christian, but they're really mean.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Christianity | Kids | Texas | Posted 2007-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Real Jesus: Hey, I'm Cool
Teen girl #1: If he was Jewish, he'd be so less Christian, and then he'd be hot.
Teen girl #2: Exactly! I mean, I'd bang him if he just said 'damn' every now and then.
Teen girl #1: But nooo, he just has to channel Jesus for us every day.
High school party
Virginia
Categories: Christianity | Teens | Virginia | Posted 2007-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, I Know Exacly What I'm Going to Do with Myself
Old lady to friend: ... And the husband's given up the Viagra for Lent, so I don't know what I'm going to do with myself!
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: future old lady
Categories: Christianity | Gripes | Ireland | Old folks | Posted 2007-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Portrayed in the Screen Adaptation by Willem Dafoe
Dude #1: Saint Nicholas. Isn't he the evil one?
Dude #2: No, Saint Nick is Santa Claus.
Dude #1: Oh, I must be thinking of John the Baptist.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Christianity | Idiots | Overheard Lines | Santa Claus | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
