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Infidelity All Categories > Topics > Relationships > Infidelity
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Is That a "Yes" on Hiring Her?
Man to friend: She makes me want to cheat on my wife in front of my wife.
Exchange Place, New Jersey
Overheard by: John
Categories: Friends | Infidelity | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2011-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...No Offense If Your Parents Are in Prison, Keisha.
Feminist student, about discussion: No, this is completely wrong! We shouldn't be congratulating men for not having affairs!
Teacher: Yes, that's exactly right! I mean, it's like when we congratulate black people for staying out of prison!
(stunned silence)
Kendrick School
Columbus, Georgia
Overheard by: MJH
I Was Like, "Sorry, I'm Trying to Cut Down"
Skinny guy: He's coming to the party tonight? Wasn't he hitting on your girlfriend last time?
Big burly bearded guy: No, she texted me last night. She talked to his roommate: turns out he wasn't inviting her to a threesome 'cause he likes her. He was inviting us to a foursome 'cause he likes me.
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Guys | Infidelity | Questions | Sex | Sexuality | Skinny people | Posted 2010-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know It's Creepy When You Call Your Mom That, Right?
Guy going on holidays to friend: If the opportunity presents itself, could you please not fuck my girlfriend?
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Friends | Guys | Holidays | Infidelity | Offers and requests | Sex | Posted 2010-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I Fuck at Least Two Girls on the Side.
Dude #1: You gotta find a girl to fuck. On the side.
Dude #2: I'm not like that. That's your game.
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Guys | Infidelity | Sex | Posted 2010-07-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And If They Get Pregnant, Where's the Harm?
Guy to workout buddy: I like having sex with married women. The sex is good because they're not having sex with their husbands.
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | Infidelity | Sex | Posted 2010-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Finally, a Version Of "You're Having My Baby" Your Editors Like
Nasty smoking girl on cell: So did your girlfriend cry when she found out that I'm having your baby? (pause) Haha, that is so funny, I so thought she would!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: hayley
Categories: Australia | Infidelity | On the phone | Pregnancy | Posted 2010-03-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't a Large Mouth Something You Look for in a Girl?
Guy #1: Dude, don't get me wrong--Laura* is great, but she's kind of...
Guy #2: Young?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also...
Guy #2: Goofy?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also...
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: She's kind of... She looks like Mick Jagger.
Guy #2: Oh, if you're trying to tell me she's unattractive, I know. But at least she won't cheat on me. (pauses, then laughs) Yeah, she does look like Mick Jagger! Good one!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wow, that's harsh
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Guys | Infidelity | Pennsylvania | Posted 2010-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Girls Need Extra Nuts on Their Hot Fudge Sundae
Girl to boyfriend: By the way, I'm cheating on you.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Categories: Comebacks | Couples | Illinois | Infidelity | Posted 2010-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's 2:58 -- Give Him a Little Credit.
Girl on cell in empty hall: So how long do you want to have sex with your boyfriend? Until, like 3:00?
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Infidelity | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sex | Time Management | Posted 2010-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Men Die Before Women: Explained
Angry boyfriend: I'm not off gallivanting around town!
Girlfriend: (indistinct mumbles)
Angry boyfriend: I don't hang out with anyone!
Girlfriend: (more mumbles)
Angry boyfriend: I'll just lie to you from now on.
Kent, Ohio
This Time I Promise Not to Cheat in Front Of You
Crazy woman on cell: Yeah, you know, I just... I really think we're meant to be together. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I feel bad I lost you... (brief pause) but I mean I saw this psychic and she said we're totally meant to be, so yeah... (pause again) Well, I mean if you don't care that I slept with so many guys while we were together, maybe we could try again?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: aiden
Categories: Crazies | Feelings | Infidelity | Magic | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In My Defense, I Only Cheated on Her with Non-Humans.
Private: I've been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don't see why she would wanna split.
Ft. Gordon, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Infidelity | Military | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But Wait: Your Girlfriend?
Dude #1: So, I'm trying to get my girlfriend to cancel her wedding to her friggin abusive boyfriend.
Dude #2: Wait! Your girlfriend?
Dude #1: Yeah, my girlfriend. Her boyfriend beats the shit out of her.
Dude #2: Word?
Dude #1: I mean, it's such a waste of money! They gotta spend money on the hotel and the reception. Such a waste, right?
Dude #2: I guess...
NYS Fair
Syracuse, New York
Translation: He's Been Too Happy Lately
Son: Mommy, why are you going through daddy's phone?
Mother: Because I love him!
Panera
Howell, New Jersey
Categories: Cell phones | Family ties | Feelings | Infidelity | Kids | Kids | Moms | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2009-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think He Got the Gist When I Fucked Him and Then Stole His Wallet
Brunette: Was it you that was telling me you told prince charming that you were a whore?
Redhead: You mean Mark*, the rich guy? No, I just told him not to fall in love with me because I was a faithless whore and there was no man on earth worthy of my loyalty. You give a man loyalty and they walk all over you. Besides, I wouldn't describe him as prince charming. More like a toad with money.
Brunette: So you did tell him you were a whore?
Greek Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Categories: Bimbettes | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Infidelity | Louisiana | Money | Questions | Restaurants | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Is It the Weekend Already?
Teen guy: Hey, Louise, do you wanna know why David broke up with you?
Teen girl: Because he was cheating on me...
Teen guy: No. Well, I shouldn't really say this, but David is gay.
Teen girl, surprised: Again?
Bus
Stockholm
Sweden
Categories: Bus | Gossip | Infidelity | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Sweden | Teens | Posted 2009-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'd Rather Be Cheated on with Someone Ugly?
Hot girl: So when I finally met the girl he cheated on me with, I was in shock, because she was about a thousand times hotter than she looked on the picture I found.
Guy friend: Yeah. Well, some people are just not photogenic.
Hot girl: No, you don't understand! She's like supermodel hot, he had like no choice, even I would have fucked that Moroccan bitch right then and there.
Guy friend: That's so hot.
Hot girl: Life is not fair.
Starbucks
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Guys | Infidelity | Restaurants | Sex | Posted 2009-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He'd Just Gone Off His Meds-- Whew!
Girl: At first, I was really afraid he was cheating on me, but then I called him the next day and asked him where he was the night before...
Girl's friend: Well, where was he?
Girl: Oh, he was having drinks with John Lennon. I was freaking out for no reason!
New York
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Infidelity | Names | New York | Questions | Posted 2009-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Slightly More Than Salt and Pepa
Sociology professor: Today, we'll be talking about sex.
(students mumble)
Sociology professor: I heard that. (pause) How much do I know about it? Well, I can tell you: less than my cheating ex-girlfriend.
University Classroom
Virginia
Overheard by: Nicole
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Infidelity | Questions | Sex | Teachers | Virginia | Posted 2009-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus It Was a Vibrating Train Seat, Not a Person.
Guy on phone: Nah, nah, it's not cheating! I didn't ejaculate, so it's not cheating!
King's Cross
Australia
Overheard by: highly amused
Would You Say It While Brandishing a Riding Crop?
35-year-old man: Do you know what I did for you? I left my home, my wife. I cheated because I was cheated on, I know what that's like. You're turning 30, you need a man, what's a woman at 30? You're alone!
28-year-old woman: You're having a midlife crisis. Women don't get those. I'm there for you, like, "you should stop at three drinks because you're a terrible drunk."
35-year-old man: You'd do that for me?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Matt
Categories: Age and ageing | Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Gender issues | Guys | Illinois | Infidelity | Offers and requests | Questions | Relationships | Women | Posted 2008-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dear Gays and Lesbians-- Sure You Want This?
Sexy businesswoman on cell: No, I'll be here at the office for at least four or five more hours, honey. Love you. Bye. (sits down at bar next to young man and rubs his crotch) Husband's taken care of.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Categories: Default | Indiana | Infidelity | Jobs & Careers | Lies | Malls | On the phone | Suits | Time Management | Women | Posted 2008-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Almost Like You're Blaming the Victim Here
Guy, carrying basket: It's just hard to know that I did so much for her, I did everything right in our marriage and now she is intentionally trying to hurt me.
Girl, pushing cart: Seriously? You did everything right?
Guy: Yes, I did.
Girl: Um, you slept with me.
Guy: Yeah, but that was a long time ago and I didn't do it to hurt her.
Trader Joe's
Hillcrest, California
Categories: California | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Infidelity | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Posted 2008-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read
(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Couples | Default | Feelings | Florida | Gender issues | Guys | Infidelity | Questions | Sexuality | Stores | Women | Posted 2008-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think Your Wife's Getting Tired of Serving Me Tea
Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I'm not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.
London
England
Categories: BJs | Default | England | Feelings | Girls | Infidelity | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Lost Her Entire Purse, and They Were Married That Night
Woman #1: We went to a club together one time and they were still dating, and he kept trying to kiss me. Well, I refused to. But then my cell phone got stolen and I was mad, so we made out. A lot.
Woman #2: You made out with him because your phone got stolen?
Woman #1: Yeah, basically. I was pissed and trying to have a good night, and he's very attractive. So I was like, "let's go!"
Woman #2: I think you're my hero.
Woman #1: I'm supposed to go to a concert with him next week.
Woman #2: Well, don't lose your wallet, because then you'll have to do him.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
Categories: Advice | Crimes | Default | Feelings | Infidelity | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | North Carolina | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is the Same Girl Who Checks Out the Basement in Horror Movies
Crying girl to boyfriend: But I love you! You love me!
Boyfriend: Listen very carefully to me. I fucked her. You shouldn't have been a bitch to me about your friends. Now you can get over this and stop being a bitch and we can go get dinner and ice cream and then go home and fuck like sexy little drunk bunnies, or you can keep it up and find yourself without a boyfriend. Your call. Move on and be in love with me, or be a bitch and get dumped.
Girlfriend, still crying: I'm sorry.
Boyfriend: I know. It's okay.
Atlanta, Georgia
Is That the Best Way to Take the Moral High Ground?
Woman #1: So, you think he is?
Woman #2: No, you don't really think he is?
Woman #3: Hell, yes! I know he is. He is cheating on his wife and me. I'm gonna cut off his dick and then quit! That'll teach him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Infidelity | Penis | Questions | Sexuality | Violence | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...at Scrabble?
Girl #1: So, if your boyfriend kisses another guy, is that counted as cheating?
Girl #2: Uhhh... What?
New Zealand
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | Infidelity | New Zealand | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everything Is Coming Together!
Man #1: Hi! How are you?
Man #2 (excited): Great! I'm going through a divorce!
Man #1: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Man #2 (still excited): Yeah! My wife was with another man!
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: ....what?
Categories: Default | Feelings | Guys | Infidelity | Questions | Relationships | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Like, "Could You Point That Shotgun Away from Me?"
Man on cell: So I told the guy, "Your current girlfriend is my wife."
Mall
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Default | Georgia | Guys | Infidelity | Malls | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2008-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After Instating a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy
Guy to date: She cheated on me, so I dumped her. Then I cheated on her and two weeks later we were back together.
Freehold, New Jersey
Categories: Default | Guys | Infidelity | Memory lane | New Jersey | Posted 2008-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Technically, Mom Had the Affair to Get Out of a Parking Ticket
Girl #1: So then my mom turns to me and says "You're waiting till marriage before you have sex? What if it's really bad sex?"
Girl #2: If you really love the person it won't be bad.
Girl #1: My thinking exactly! But then my sister pipes up "She can just have an affair for good sex... like you, mom!"
Escondido, California
Categories: California | Default | Family ties | Girls | Infidelity | Sex | Posted 2008-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Owe Me Two!
Boyfriend: I only cheated on you with one girl but you cheated on me with three guys... at the same time!
Ohio State University
Overheard by: JooSki
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Gripes | Guys | Infidelity | Ohio | Sex | Posted 2008-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mirror, Mirror on the Hill/ Who's the Sluttiest at McGill?
Girl #1: You are definitely sluttier than I am!
Girl #2: No way. You are!
Girl #1: You are sleeping with two guys!
Girl #2: You sleep with guys and don't call them back...ever.
Girl #1: Is that slutty?
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: cybertheque
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Girls | Infidelity | Overheard at McGill | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Mean It, or Are You Just Using Her for Sex?
Girl on cell: I said "I love you" like three years ago. Why? When was the last time you said it?
[pause]
Girl on cell, shocked: Ew! To who, you whorebag?!
[pause]
Girl on cell, incredulous: You say "I love you" to your mom?
200 Bus
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: likewhoa
Categories: Bus | California | Family ties | Girls | Infidelity | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Words | Posted 2008-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Guy: Come Back! I Can Change It!
Girl #1: I can understand the idea behind having an affair...
Girl #2: Yeah, it's the change of scenery.
Girl #3: The change of dick...
East Lansing, Michigan
Categories: Bimbettes | Compare and contrast | Etiquette | Friends | Gender issues | Girls | Infidelity | Michigan | Penis | Sexuality | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Standards Are Low, but I Adhere to Them
Female customer: I would never do anything with someone other than my boyfriend.
Male customer: You cheated on your husband!
Female customer: I wasn't in love with my husband.
Visible Voice Books
Cleveland, Ohio
Then How Exactly Is This Threesome Going to Work?
Girl: I like you and all, but you're married.
Dude: My wife and I have an open marriage.
Girl: Is that would she say if I asked her if we could sleep together?
Dude: Probably not. That's why we're not gonna ask her.
Sun Prairie, Wisconsin
Categories: Idiots | Infidelity | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-11-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Same Thing
Preppy guy on cell: So, you're pissed. I guess 'cause I lied. Or, yeah, I understand -- 'cause I had sex with someone else last night. What was I supposed to do, wake up and say, 'Oh, hey, I have a girlfriend' to her? ... Look, babe, I love you, but I'm 19 and I'm human.
Drunk guy from dorm window: And an asshole!
Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Drew
Categories: Drunks | Infidelity | Massachusetts | Preppies | Posted 2007-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes, I Found Out What I'm Doing Now Is Illegal
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Categories: California | Infidelity | North America | Relationships | Sex | Tourist attractions | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Girl: Yeah, Three Strokes and Out, WTF?
Guy #1: I totally told her I wasn't with anyone else on my cruise, but I clearly slept with another girl!
Guy #2: Victory!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: shannon
Categories: Infidelity | Jerks | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
