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And Was Forced to Read the Congressional Record
Girl: Do you know what a pearl necklace is?
Woman: I didn't learn about any of that shit until I worked on the Senate floor.
Kokomo's
Linglestown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: M.J.M.
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Fashion | Girls | Jobs & Careers | Pennsylvania | Questions | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Aroma Was Strangely Heavenly
Guy: Jesus puked in your car?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Default | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Jesus | Names | Overheard in PDX | Questions | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did the Left One Ever Get Over That Cold?
Mid-twenties guy leaving voice mail: Hey baby, just calling to say hi. How are your boobs?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: brickskeller
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Roman Polanski's Legacy
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: So, did you guys end up getting anywhere?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: No, I was thirteen!
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: Yeah, but you didn't do anything? Like, not even touch his dick?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: I don't know, I was drunk!
Vincennes, Indiana
Overheard by: 202 Tavern Girl
Categories: Age and ageing | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Friends | Girls | Indiana | Memory lane | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Think the Midget with the Butterfly Net Is For?
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I'm not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren't you afraid your baby's going to fall out or something?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: what not to expect when you're expecting
As Recorded in My Memoirs: What What (The Unibutt!)
Skater guy: I'm not into the unibutt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it's like a unibrow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has affected my life.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Especially with This Little Pink Bow
Three-year-old boy to grandfather: Do you have a penis?
Grandfather: Yes, I do.
Boy: I have a penis, too. My penis is small. My penis is cute.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Vejewsbian
Card: I Miss You, Baby, in My Bed/ I Miss My Liver, 'cause It's Dead
Girl: So I asked him: "When are you going to come back for a reunion? I miss you!" and he was like: "I miss you so much I've had to replace you with alcohol." That's like, the biggest, best compliment ever! They should make a Hallmark card that says that.
West Lafayette, Indianapolis
Overheard by: Kolja
Categories: Compliments | Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Girls | Indiana | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2008-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'm Bummed I Didn't Get His Name
Guy #1: Is he good at sex?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy #2: Wow. I'm surprised.
Girl: Honestly, I was too.
San Francisco, California
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Questions | San Francisco | Sex | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did We Suddenly Become That Poor?
Mom: You wanna sleep in the bed with dad?
13-year-old boy: Why the hell would I do that? I'm 5'6"! That's gay!
Baldwin Park, Florida
Overheard by: hmm... point taken.
Categories: Default | Family ties | Florida | Guys | Moms | Offers and requests | Questions | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Just in Time to See the Internet Made Illegible
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Categories: Airports & flights | Cell phones | Default | Geography | Military | Questions | Strangers | USA | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Kept Me Awake by Leading "Expeditions" Into My Sock Drawer
Girl #1: I found that doll the other day.
Girl #2: What doll?
Girl #1: The Steve Irwin doll, you know, the one that used to look at me creepy while I was sleeping.
Girl #2: Ohhhh, that doll!
Bleeker's Bowling Alley
Chicago, Illinois
Really? Now All I Have to Do Is Master Shot Callin' and I Can Die Happy!
Teen cashier at checkout: Are you listening to music on an iPod?
Geriatric customer: It's an iPhone.
Teen cashier: Dude, you're ballin'.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Hoosier
Categories: Age and ageing | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Customers | Default | Employees | Gadgets | Indiana | Old folks | Questions | Teens | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Professor Appreciated the Eight-Sided Paper
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Default | Education | Friends | Games | Philosophy | Pride | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From What Your Dad Tells Me
Overenthusiastic principal: So, where'd ya guys go for lunch? Huh?
Jaded student (indicating Subway cup): I ate fresh.
Principal: Did you go the 6 inch route? Or the 12 inch?
Student: I, uhhh... 6.
Principal, grinning: Don't worry, Shane* -I think you're man enough to take a 12-inch.
Livingston, Montana
They Usually Have Pretty Cool Stereo Equipment
Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can't fuck'em, what's the point?
Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job
Categories: Advice | Creepsters | Customers | Default | Gender issues | Guys | Mental illnesses | Questions | Restaurants | Sexuality | Washington | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And It's Important to Know About Paula Abdul's Career Trajectory
Student: If none of this is going to be on the exam, why are we devoting a class to it?
Professor: Because I find it interesting, and you have to listen to me.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Offers and requests | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except for Women's Professional Basketball
Professor: How does female humor differ from that of males?
Student: Women don't have the luxury to be funny.
Stanford, California
Overheard by: fliushkin
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Gender issues | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Elmer and Mrs Fudd Are Justifiably Proud of Their Daughter
PSU freshman (attempting to flirt): Wow, that's an amazing accent! Is it British?
Cute freshman who says Rs like Ws: Actually, it's a speech impediment.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ellen
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Insults | Language barrier | Overheard in PDX | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Gave Me Extra Flotation, Like a Pool Noodle
Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn't that hurt your fluffy bits?
Memphis, Tennessee
And I'm Running Dangerously Low on Reese's Pieces
Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it's still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don't see any; I don't have any spit.
Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Uses spit for lube
Especially the One from Little House on the Prairie
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what's your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter's name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | California | Comebacks | Creepsters | Customers | Default | Drunks | Family ties | Guys | Insults | Names | Questions | Servers | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Why Men Wear Pink Shirts
Professor: Ever wonder why pink is considered a girl color?
Student: Because vaginas are pink.
UC
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Categories: California | Class | Default | Education | Gender issues | Questions | Students | Teachers | Vagina | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Since the Gangbang
Woman: Wooo! It's wetter than a nymphomaniac in a gangbang out there.
Man: You've been waiting to say that for a long time, haven't you?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Questions | Sex | Washington | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As You Should Know All Too Well, Cuntrella
Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell that?
(silence)
Student: Looks like it's time to whip out the dic!
Teacher: Some words should *not* be shortened.
High School Classroom
Rhode Island
Categories: Default | Education | Questions | Rhode Island | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hot!
Guy #1: So he lit the shot on fire and when he went to take it, part of it got on his face and instead of swallowing, he spat it everywhere and it all caught on fire.
Guy #2: Yeah, I bet he got laid that night, though.
Girl: Where, in the burn unit?
Houston, Texas
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Sexuality | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mirror, Mirror on the Hill/ Who's the Sluttiest at McGill?
Girl #1: You are definitely sluttier than I am!
Girl #2: No way. You are!
Girl #1: You are sleeping with two guys!
Girl #2: You sleep with guys and don't call them back...ever.
Girl #1: Is that slutty?
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: cybertheque
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Girls | Infidelity | Overheard at McGill | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, He Is on Our Bedsheets
Nerdy freshman talking about philosophy: Well, it depends on what you consider real. Like is Spiderman real?
Kid sitting with him: Uh...
Nerdy freshman: Think about it! Is he?
U Mass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Kids | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Pop culture | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Time I Try That, I Lose Some Memory
Mom: Arrrrgh. My brain just isn't working today!
Eight-year-old (deadpan): Did you try turning it off and on again?
Steveston
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing sangria out my nose
Somewhere There's a Live, Cheerful Half of a Rat, and No One Knows How Heavy He Is
Girl #1: And I was like: "How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?"
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Diet & weight | Friends | Minnesota | Questions | Science | Sorority types | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The FDA Has Less Influence Every Year
Woman: Do you have mothballs?
CVS employee: (after thinking for a few seconds) Is that a protein bar?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nana
Categories: Default | Offers and requests | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gay People. Is There Any Social Problem They Can't Fix?
Guy: So it's her mom, her mom's boyfriend, and her dad?
Girl: Yeah. It would be so awkward if her dad wasn't gay.
Corpus Christi, Texas
Overheard by: it already is.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Texas | Posted 2008-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes
Student: I bet half of the kids are still going to show up at the computer room.
Teacher: You think half of them will, or half of them won't?
East Meadow Drive
Palo Alto, California
Categories: California | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Always Wanted to Be a Fascist
TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.
Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis
I Guess If You Want to Be Anal About It...
Teen girl with group of friends: But I don't get it... Why would you wipe it *that* way particularly?
(long silence, group of friends look at each other)
Friend, incredulously: Uhh... So you don't get shit in your vag?
Federation Square
Melbourne
Australia
Instead, I'll Discuss Your Pain With This Complete Stranger
Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn't have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How's your butt feel? Ha! I haven't even told my friends about that yet!
Richmond, Virginia
She'll Be All, "Help Me, Dr. Phil"!
Guy #1: I love getting Lisa* Taco Bell.
Guy #2: Why's that?
Guy #1: It's gonna get her fat! I'm going to get extra sour cream and she's going to be all like: "Damn, this is delicious!" Meanwhile, she'll be getting fat.
Kangaroo
Gainesville, Florida
Categories: Default | Diet & weight | Florida | Food | Friends | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link |